Sorceress
by halflifequeen
Summary: A young woman with dark secrets starts work at Hogwarts, gaining the unwanted attention of a Dark Lord and the unwilling attraction of a potions master. SS/OC  Tried to be reasonably story compliant, and in character.
1. Chapter 1: Acquaintances

CHAPTER 1

"Aeryn Allen I presume?"

Albus Dumbledore stood as the newest staff member of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry entered his office. A slight young woman came and stood before his desk and reached across it to shake his hand before taking a seat. She had wavy, pale blonde hair tied back in a loose bun, and large black eyes. "Professor Dumbledore. It's nice to see you again." The young woman smiled at the man who had been headmaster when she attended Hogwarts, over 10 years ago now.

"Please have a seat," Dumbledore said after they shook hands. "I must say" he began, after seating himself, "that I never considered hiring a school counsellor before now, but with the current atmosphere of fear and tension surrounding the rumours of dark wizards, it seemed a prudent idea. Which is why," he smiled, "you are here today."

Aeryn returned his smile. "I know it has been 10 years since I graduated here sir, but honestly it doesn't feel that long. Nothing appears to have changed much."

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled, then became serious. "I was sorry to hear about your father, Aeryn. Such a talented wizard I have never seen before. He is sorely missed."

Aeryn lowered her eyes to the table in front of her, but did not see the lines in the hardwood desk. "Thank you," was all she said. Talking of her father was something she avoided; the topic was still too painful, even though he died over 10 years ago. Feeling Dumbledore wanted more on the subject, but was too polite to enquire, she said "I was lucky to be of age when he died, as my mother...died when I was eight." Dumbledore's bearded face did not change expression over the pause. "I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life then, but at least I wasn't required to go live with another wizarding family. Hogwarts was always like a second family anyway."

"And I'm sure it will be again." Dumbledore said in a much lighter voice, obviously trying to lift her spirits from the previous subject. He fingers formed a steeple in front of his long crooked nose, and he looked deep into her dark eyes. "It's always good to have someone of your _talents_ on board." Aeryn blinked, but kept her face as blank as possible. Was it her imagination, or had he put particular emphasis on the word 'talents'? _What does he mean?_ She thought to herself. _Surely he doesn't know my mother-_

"But of course we need everyone to be on the ball this year," Dumbledore went on, interrupting her thoughts, "with the Triwizard Tournament being hosted by Hogwarts, and the delegations from Durmstrang and Beaubaxtons arriving later in the year. You might have your hands full."

"I look forward to the challenge sir," she replied.

A brisk rapping at the study door interrupted them. "Come in Professor," Dumbledore called, raising his voice slightly to be heard. The thick, wooded office door opened, producing an older witch with black hair streaked with grey tied in a severe bun at the base of her neck. Walking briskly towards them, Aeryn was under the impression everything this woman did was 'brisk', especially when she recognised her old Transfiguration teacher, Professor McGonagall. As head of Gryffindor House, this was one woman she did not like to cross when she was a student here. And probably still wouldn't.

"Minerva, this is Aeryn Allen who, if you remember, studied here at Hogwarts approximately 10 years ago." Dumbledore said in his quiet, calm voice.

Minerva McGonagall turned her piercing eyes upon Aeryn. "Ah yes, Miss Allen. I remember you as the young lady in my transfiguration class who turned Mr Ryan into a flying pig, 'accidentally', in your first year. Quite a feat for anybody, but unheard of for someone of your age."

Aeryn bit her lip and tried not to smile. She had forgotten that incident. "Yes professor, I do believe that was me. He had been annoying me relentlessly for months though, if you remember."

Professor McGonagall chuckled, her face immediately softening. "Yes, I seem to recall wanting to do that on occasion as well. And I remember you had quite a temper as a teenager. But please, call me Minerva. I'm not your professor here anymore."

Aeryn looked at the floor and grinned. "You'll forgive me if that takes some getting used to."

"Right now though, if you're finished with the Headmaster, I must show you to your rooms, and of course your study where you will be working with the students. I _was_ wondering however," she paused delicately, "you weren't intending on getting inside the heads of your fellow professors at any time, were you? Because I don't believe I would submit to such a..._dissecting_ of my thoughts and fears. No offense intended, of course," she said with a faint smile.

Aeryn laughed and stood up. "No, of course not. It's entirely voluntary. If you feel the need to talk about something to me though, of course I will be available, and if you don't, that's fine as well. I would however like to talk to each student at least once through the year, and if there are any students you feel need help with their study plans, or discipline, I am also willing to help with organising those."

Dumbledore stood also and indicated Aeryn to follow McGonagall, saying, "Of course you may have free reign in your area. And yes, Minerva, I believe we are finished here. I suggest you introduce Ms. Allen to the staff who are here already, before you show her to her rooms." Turning to Aeryn with an ever-present smile on his face, he said "It was a pleasure to meet you again, Miss Allen."

McGonagall walked swiftly through the door and down the stairs to the hall, with Aeryn right behind. As they walked down the flight of stone stairs leading to the Headmasters office, Minerva said "I believe the house elves have prepared a late afternoon tea for the staff before the start of term, so you can meet nearly everyone at once, and get it out of the way." She chuckled. "Although you will probably know most of them from your days here; there haven't been too many staff changes in the last decade. Only the Care of Magical Creatures and Defense Against the Dark Arts professors have changed, I believe."

The staff room, a dark panelled room with mismatching chairs scattered around it, held half a dozen of the regular teachers at present, who were scattered around either singularly or in pairs. Professor Sinistra, the Astronomy teacher, smiled vaguely upon hearing Aeryn was a past student, obviously not remembering her. Aeryn didn't mind. She didn't recall she liked Astronomy that much anyway. Professor Vectra was much the same.

Professor Flitwick, the Charms teacher, was having an animated conversation with Professor Sprout, the Herbology teacher, almost toppling over in his excitement. Aeryn remembered he used to be enthusiastic in almost everything. He shook Aeryn's hand excitedly upon learning who she was. "Yes of course, how could I forget such a talented student? And your father being so famous and all," he said in his squeaky voice. "You were always the first to manage every Charm, and top marks in all your exams! I always wondered how you did it so easily!" Aeryn smiled at his enthusiasm, but neglected to reply.

"Aeryn has been appointed the school counsellor by Albus," Mcgonnall said.

"And what have you been doing with yourself these past years, Aeryn?" Professor Sprout asked genially. Aeryn couldn't for the life of her remember Professor Sprout's first name, but said "Not a great deal, unfortunately. I lived as a Muggle first hand for several years to gain some experience with them, and of course my studies in Psychology and Healing have kept me busy." _How exciting I am,_ thought Aeryn to herself sarcastically.

She wanted to avoid talking about either herself or the years after her father died at any cost, however, and changed the subject with Professor Sprout, including Flitwick in the conversation. If that made her appear boring or closed off, well then, so be it.

Unnoticed by Aeryn, the staffroom door opened once again, and a tall man with shoulder length black hair and a hooked nose entered the room. He nodded his recognition of McGonagall, who was standing with Sprout and Flitwick, but noticed they were engaged in a discussion with a woman he didn't recognise. Ignoring them, he went straight to the table that held saucers and cups and made himself a small cup of black, unsweetened tea.

Minerva left the group and came over, obviously with the same idea in mind. "And how were your holidays, Severus?" she enquired, as she poured her tea.

"Productive," was all the answer she received. Being used to his short replies, and knowing his very private nature, she didn't push him further, but rather said "At least this year I won't have to listen to your innuendos about the Gryffindor Quidditch team playing against Slytherin, and I've grown used to seeing the Gryffindor Cup in my office. I suppose you're still sore that my house beat yours in the Cup last year?" she taunted him.

"I'm sure that after the Triwizard Tournament is finished, that can be rectified," he drawled. Without turning away from McGonagall, he glanced across the room at the pretty young woman who was smiling and chatting with Professor Flitwick. "And who is the newest...recruit?" he asked, as if he couldn't care less but was merely keen on changing the subject.

"Miss Aeryn Allen. I'm sure you would remember her from several years ago, or at least her father's reputation. From Ravenclaw house. She is here to be the school counsellor and studies advisor."

Snape's expression didn't change, unless it was to become even more uninterested. "No," he said. "I can't say that I do."

McGonagall's eyebrow twitched; she was sure he was affecting that uninterested face. As much as she and Snape seemed to butt heads on many things, she really did have a lot of respect for him, but couldn't resist tweaking his rather overlarge nose on occasion. "Well then," she said with an amused expression, "I had best introduce you. Ms Allen?" She called, raising her voice slightly and interrupting Aeryn and Filius Flitwick, "would you come here for a moment? I have someone else to reacquaint you with."

Aeryn smiled her leave-taking to Flitwick and Sprout and turned towards McGonagall. Noticing the tall, foreboding man in black robes standing next to her, the smile dropped from her face and she hesitated. _Severus Snape_. _Oh, I remember you_, she thought bitterly, and walked slowly towards them with eyes narrowed and defences high. He had started at Hogwarts as the Potions Master when she was in her 5th year. No matter how hard she had tried, no matter how perfect her potions had been in class, Professor Snape had ridiculed her, insulted her, and made her edgier than anyone she could remember. She could never understand _why_ his attitude affected her so, but Aeryn remembered crying herself to sleep in her dormitory many nights after a particularly nasty encounter with the overgrown bat. Her friends too, couldn't understand why she was so bothered with his cutting remarks, albeit acknowledging that he was the nastiest teacher there. _Well,_ she thought to herself, holding her head a little higher and walking towards them,_ he won't catch me out this time. I am his equal here, and he has no right to treat me like a student. Plus I don't care anymore._ She pursed her lips. _I'll try not to care anymore,_ she amended.

Severus Snape watched the play of emotions run over her face, and read them like a book. As much as he had said otherwise, he did remember this woman from his potions classes. Always very temperamental and arrogant, and prone to emotional outbursts - traits he particularly despised in others. He always wondered why she was never in Gryffindor, as most Ravenclaws were logical and unemotional to a fault. If being dubbed 'unemotional' was really a fault. His upper lip curled as she drew near. Surely she had matured enough to master a basic control of her feelings? Apparently things hadn't changed in ten years since she left, as he could plainly see the dislike that mirrored his own feelings on her face, and the reluctance to be near him. He, however, would never let it show. Minerva briefly reintroduced them. "Ms. Allen," Snape said shortly as she stood in front of him.

"Professor Snape," she replied, just as shortly, then wished she had called him by his given name – a starting-ground so that he would realise she wasn't a child anymore. Minerva, who had expected this exact reaction from both of them, glanced at Aeryn and raised her eyebrows; an invitation that she should keep talking. She was, after all, a very pretty young woman, and likely to provoke the potions master as much as anyone. Aeryn, noticing Minerva's expression and feeling she should at least _try_ to appear cordial, continued without looking at him. "I understand you are still teaching potions." He nodded the affirmative to this question, but gave no reply. He looked positively uninterested in talking to her. She gritted her teeth and had another go. "I'm to be the school counsellor," she said, and mentally smacked herself in the head. Obviously that was why she was here; could she possibly sound more uneducated? Not that she cared what this man thought.

"So I understand," Snape said, in that quiet, _bored_ voice of his. Aeryn glanced at Minerva, mentally begging for some assistance, but Minerva, the _awful_ woman, said instead "Please forgive me – I've just remembered I promised Filch I would look over his list of banned items for this year. Severus, if you would be so kind as to show Aeryn her rooms after you're done here? I'm afraid I haven't the time," and swept off with a small smile.

Aeryn mentally cursed the woman. She turned to find Snape staring into his tea, as if he would rather be anywhere else but here. Awkwardly, she cleared her throat, and tried to sound professional. "As I said, I will be the counsellor here, but not only for the students. If there's anything you would like to talk about at any time..." she trailed off, suddenly realising how absurd that situation would seem. _This_ man? Pouring out his deepest, darkest fears to her? Maybe crying on her shoulder? The picture in her head was so ludicrous she barely stopped herself from laughing, but couldn't hide the amusement from her face. She struggled on. "Or if you have matters of discipline for the students to deal with I'm also available, although...I'm sure _you_ would find the time to personally hand out punishments yourself," she said, half mockingly. This last statement finally drew his attention from the obviously _fascinating_ black tea in front of him to her face. His brows drew together and his face registered barely concealed impatience. He sighed. "I'm sure you're a..._competent_ counsellor, Ms. Allen," – his eyebrows raised on _competent_ - "but I assure you, I won't be letting _anyone_ inside my head at any time, or for any reason."

"Afraid I might see something no one else has before?" she asked quietly. Now why had she said _that_? His black eyes flashed dangerously, and bore into hers. "I'm sorry," she said, her eyes dropping. "That was very forward of me. Of course I wouldn't push you to tell me anything you didn't want to." Could she dig herself a deeper hole while she was there? Honestly.

Snape twitched in annoyance. This woman, this _irritating_ woman had the widest range on emotion he had ever seen in a person. In the three minutes of conversation, he had watched her go from defensive, to angry, to egotistical, to laughter, to repentance. Her large dark eyes, as black as his own, were as easy to read as if she had said her thoughts out loud. How could such a small person contain so many feelings? He, for one, was glad it was not him, and derisive of her because of it. However, he inclined his head in response to her ungraceful apology.

"As for me handing out punishments to students personally, I've noticed a tendency for most teachers to be lenient where they should have handed out stricter punishments. It's easier to assign reprimands myself," Snape said with a trace of his irritation coming out in his soft voice, and his eyes looking towards the exit, obviously wanting to leave.

Aeryn, seeing his desire to be as far away as possible, and not wanting to make a fool of herself any longer, decided to quit while she was ahead. "Well it's been...um, interesting seeing you again, Professor Snape, but I think I should get organised in time for the students' arrival tomorrow."

"I will show you where your office is." Snape said, setting his tea down.

"That's not necessary," Aeryn replied quickly. "I do remember this castle very well, I'm sure if you just told me where it is-"

"That would be remiss of me. I can't have you getting _lost_ on your first day here." He said sarcastically.

Aeryn coloured. She was about to respond in kind when he turned from her, with a short 'this way" sent over his shoulder, and walked from the room.

Aeryn ground her teeth in frustration. This was _not_ going well.

Upon exiting the room she saw Snape was already halfway up the hall, and she ran to catch up to him. _This is so undignified_, she thought._ He's doing this deliberately!_ Struggling to keep up with his long strides, she was hardly watching where she was going. She was already fuming, and imagining several ways of getting back at him. Angrily she shook her head. Getting worked up never solved anything, and likely would make things worse. She would ignore his disgusting attitude and control herself. She knew that would annoy him more than letting him see how angry he made her, just like he did while she was a student here. Abruptly she realised that it was going to take a while before he saw her as anything _less_ than a student, and resolved to act better.

Involved in her thoughts, Aeryn only watched the back of the tall figure striding out in front of her, his robes billowing dramatically behind him, and followed him up a flight of stairs. As they walked – more like ran - up the stairs, a flight that she herself would have done hundreds of times while at school here, Aeryn's foot sank into a step that wasn't really there. Caught off guard, she cried out, and tried to save herself from an ungainly fall, but her momentum carried her forward. She managed to free her foot, but was not quick enough to set it down on time, and found herself falling forward. That is, until a set of arms wrapped themselves firmly around her and pulled her upright and against a hard chest, a split second from hitting the stairs above. Snape, also lost in his own thoughts, had missed the disappearing step out of habit, but completely forgot to mention it to the girl running along behind him. A split second after he had jumped it, he realised his mistake, and on hearing her cry out had turned in time to catch her from splitting her head on the steps above. He waited until she had steadied herself before saying, "my apologies. I neglected to mention-"

"No, it's ok" she said, slightly breathless, still looking at the step that was there but not there, "I should have remembered that step..." she trailed off, as she realised he was still holding her tightly. He released her abruptly, almost making her stumble again. She blushed, and mumbled her thanks. "Your office is this way," he said.

Continuing along, Snape modified his stride to be more accommodating. Lost in her thoughts once again, but this time on a different line, Aeryn barely noticed. She was thinking, that even a step above him, the top of her head barely reached his beaky nose. He was just so _tall_, and his arms had caught her with barely any effort...

Shaking her head, she told herself to watch where she was going.

Upon reaching the fourth floor, Snape stopped in front of a large tapestry of four obviously tipsy ladies sitting around a table drinking wine. Behind the tapestry was the door to her office. He opened it, and motioned her through.

It wasn't a large room, just big enough to hold a large desk, and several comfy chairs and a coffee table placed around a fireplace. One wall however was entirely windows that overlooked the lake, and they made the room seem larger. "It's perfect," she said, smiling.

"If you think so," Snape said, raising an eyebrow.

Aeryn turned to him. "Granted it doesn't have the dankness or mildew of your average, cosy dungeon, which I'm sure you'd prefer, but it suits my purposes perfectly," she said loftily. She couldn't be sure, but she thought she saw his lip twitch, as if trying not to smile. "As I said, if you think so," he replied. "If you're finished here for now, I will show you your sleeping quarters." For some reason that statement made her blush, and she turned away before replying "thank you."

The quarters mentioned happened to be on the sixth floor. Snape did not open the door for her, but rather pointed her in the right direction. "I will leave you here," he said. "There are many things I need to prepare before tomorrow's classes begin, and I am already running late." Again, Aeryn blushed. He made it sound like it was her fault he was running late. "Well I won't keep you any longer," she said tersly. "Good afternoon." He nodded, and without another word, left. _So kind of him to help me out_, she thought sarcastically, as she opened the door to her rooms.

The house elves had already placed her trunk at the base of her bed, the head of which was situated against the left wall, and her briefcase and boxes on the desk that was on the same side of the room, only closer to the door. Like her office, this room had lots of windows with heavy curtains, just the way she liked things. The giant four poster double bed was bigger than anything she had ever slept in, and the dark blue drapings made it look like something from a grand old manor house, and just a luxurious. Aeryn smiled to herself. Sleeping was one of her favourite things to do. A door on the right led to a spacious bathroom containing – Aeryn smiled dreamily when she investigated – an enormous bathtub. A fireplace with a large comfy couch and rug completed the scene.

Moving towards her desk, she spent the next hour organising her papers, and then moved to her trunk which contained all her clothes. Halfway through unpacking she stopped. _Oh crap,_ she though. _My wand! Where have I put it?_ Rummaging through the rest of the trunk, then going through the boxes, she was slightly panicked. She couldn't allow herself to be caught without her wand, how would she explain how certain things just happened on their own? Some things she could say was wandless magic, but other things would lead to difficult questions with potentially dangerous results. _Ok, stop and think. Be calm. Where did you have it last?_ Becoming slightly more panicked, she sat for ten minutes and went through every second of her day since she'd had it. Then it came to her – _my handbag! I left it on my handbag when I came to the castle, before I went to speak to Dumbledore!_ And sure enough, there it was, once she'd opened her handbag and rummaged desperately through it as well. Bingo! Laughing shakily to herself, she put her wand on the bedside table, admonishing herself for losing it already on her first day.

Throwing herself backwards onto the bed in relief, she allowed her thoughts to drift, to her father, who she missed every day, and then because the loss of her wand had brought out unpleasant reminders, she thought of her mother. Someone she had known only as a child, and even then she only found out the real truth after her father had died. Sitting up rapidly, she shook her head to dispel those thoughts. There was nothing she could do about that now, except hide the truth from everyone, because she doubted anyone could be trusted with that information.

Glancing around, she realised the room was in total disarray from her panicked searching of the missing wand. Imagine if Snape saw her rooms like this? She stopped cold. Where had that come from? There was no reason he should be anywhere _near_ her rooms, and she hated being in the same castle as him, let alone the same room! Fortunately, she thought, she wouldn't be seeing much of him in the months to come, as he worked in the dungeons, and her office was on the fourth floor. And that was _exactly_ how she liked it.


	2. Chapter 2: Encounter

CHAPTER 2

The next few weeks were eventful for Aeryn, as she grew used to her new role as school counsellor and began to know the students around the castle. She helped with study plans for those students unable to cope with the workload, especially those attempting their OWL or NEWT years, and she was also in charge of disciplinary actions against troublemakers if their respective teacher couldn't find the time. Aeryn believed the traditional punishments of writing lines was pointless, and believed in physical activity as punishment. The number of rule breakers dropped dramatically once the guilty party found themselves running 10 laps around the lake, in the pouring rain, or digging a 2 meter deep hole and filling it back up again with no magic.

At mealtimes she was generally seated between Severus Snape, who barely spoke to her after their first encounter, and the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor, Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody, whom she actually quite liked despite his grotesque appearance. Even though she and Snape never spoke, she was aware of his presence next to her, and also that he made her nervous. She put this down to the fact that he had tormented her in Potions classes while he was her professor, and resolved not to think of him.

As an ex-Auror, Moody had many interesting tales about catching dark wizards and breaking horrible curses, and she enjoyed listening to them while they ate. On occasion he seemed to be studying her – that swivelling eye would fix on her, and he would frown, as if he was trying to place something about her. She affected not to notice, as there was little chance he would say anything about his suspicions even if he did have them, as he had no proof.

It was curious to note however, one day when they were seated at dinner a few weeks into term that both Moody and Snape seemed to watch a certain student a great deal. She thought she was imagining things at first, but as this certain student happened to be at the table directly in front of them, she confirmed her suspicions that both men watched Harry Potter, a fourth year, more than was necessary, and couldn't imagine why. Harry wasn't one of the students she had spoken to yet in her interviews, and as curiosity was getting the better of her, she decided to get to know him better, and summoned him to her office one cool Autumn afternoon.

Harry knocked on the wall next to the tapestry of the four tipsy ladies. They giggled as he waited, and he shuffled his feet. The door opened, and he pushed the tapestry aside and looked around as he entered the counsellor's office. The whole room was bright and inviting, and Harry thought this was strategically so, to make students more comfortable. There was a set of couches set facing each other in front of the fireplace with a low coffee table between them, a bookshelf just to the left of the room, and a chaise under one set of windows that had the sun shining brightly through it. That left the side that had the desk, and the counsellor seated at that desk. Harry was unaccustomedly nervous – he hadn't heard anything bad about the school counsellor, other than she seemed to have a knack for ferreting out information from people, but he wasn't comfortable about sharing information with people he didn't know. Plus she was rather pretty, and didn't seem a great deal older than himself, and this for some reason made him a little nervous.

Aeryn looked up as he entered the room, and watched him as he looked around. When his green eyes came to rest on her, she smiled at him. "Take a seat," she said, indicating the chair in front of the desk, "I won't be a sec." Harry came over, and dumping his bag on the floor, slid into the seat and waited. She saw he was looking at the parchment in front of her, and rolled her eyes at him. "Lesson plans for an overenthusiastic first year," she said with a wry smile. 'They think they're already going to fail everything." Aeryn finished what she was writing and set it aside.

"Would you like a tea, coffee, pumpkin juice? Anything?" She asked, and he shook his head silently. "You don't mind if I have a coffee do you? I seem to go through a few a day." At his second silent nod she thought to herself '_got to loosen him up a bit'_, as he didn't seemed inclined on being chatty. She twirled her wand in a little gesture and a pot of coffee and a mug from the table over by the fire floated to her desk. She poured herself a cup, took a sip and sighed. "Much better. So," she began, "I understand you're a bit of a Quidditch enthusiast? That's too bad they cancelled all the game this year – honestly, you think they'd still be able to fit in a few Quidditch games – the Triwizard tasks don't take up _that_ much time."

Harry laughed quietly. 'That's what I was saying to my friend Hermione, but she doesn't take Quidditch very seriously."

"But then seeing a Triwizard Tournament is pretty cool. I know this is the first they've had in yonks. Do you know anyone who's entering?"

"I know a girl from Gryffindor is going to try – she's in a higher year – I really hope she gets it." Harry replied.

They continued to talk for a few minutes about the Tournament. Aeryn noted he started to loosen up a little."So," she said, getting down to business, "how're your lessons this year going?"

"Ok."

"Any you really like, or really hate? Any teachers you want me to yell at on your behalf, etcetera, etcetera?" She asked with a grin. Harry grinned back briefly. "Yeh, there's a couple classes that aren't so great."

Aeryn chuckled. "Yes I heard about Professor Trelawney predicting your death fairly regularly. That's ok, she said I was going to have a very powerful man take me as his bride shortly." She laughed, "which is hilarious, considering I'm not even in a relationship." Harry laughed too. "She's a crack," he said.

"Any other teachers, or subjects you seem to be having trouble with?" Aeryn asked again. Harry shrugged.

"Tell me." She said, and although it was spoken quietly and politely, it was not a request. And Harry found himself talking, seemingly against his own convictions not to.

"No more than usual," Harry said. "Potions has always been a trial." Then he looked at her guiltily. "But I mean not just for me."

"Don't worry, Harry. Nothing you tell me today will leave this room. It's one hundred percent confidential – you can badmouth anyone you like and it won't get back to them. You can even badmouth me and I promise I won't tell myself," she said, rolling her eyes at her own bad humour.

"Professor Snape." Harry said.

Aeryn looked at Harry with a small smile. "What's the problem?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "Only that he's had it in for me since day one. But he's a git to anyone who isn't in Slytherin House. It's just me more than anyone else."

"Do you know why?"

Harry wriggled in his seat uncomfortably. There was something in her eyes. He kept talking. "Well, I think it's because of my dad. They were in school together, you see, and didn't get along very well." He briefly explained how Harry had learned James Potter had apparently saved Snape's life, as well as some encounters that had occurred between Snape and Harry.

When Harry seemed reluctant to talk anymore about the subject, Aeryn moved on as she didn't want to push him too far. "So – you have Professor Trelawney predicting your death, and Professor Snape haggling you every lesson. What are your reactions in class usually? Do you get worked up, talk back, get uspet? What I'm getting at is we need to work on a way to make you less of a target, and hopefully your grades can pick up as a result."

The session continued for another half an hour or so, with Aeryn suggesting strategies to Harry to make his classes easier. The talk then moved back to Quidditch and the Triwizard Tournament briefly before Harry left, feeling as though he had let on more than he meant to.

All in all, Aeryn was relatively pleased after he had left – she had a slight insight into Harry's mind and the way he thought, and had a few more ideas as to why he was so interesting to Severus Snape. It was the latter she was more interested in, although she was unaware of that.

A few weeks later found Aeryn strolling the grounds in the early afternoon. A cool breeze was blowing, making her shiver, and she walked faster. Hagrid had been telling her about his troubles in class – how he seemed unable to keep discipline, especially with the Slytherin students, and it was obvious to anyone that he lost his self confidence easily. Aeryn had volunteered to spend some time with him working on those problems, and now was heading towards Hagrid's hut for a talk before his next class, which was tomorrow.

As she approached, she became aware of another person with Hagrid, as well as some sort of...Aeryn didn't know what it was, but it was definitely alive. It was brown and squat, about the size of a gorilla, and similarly shaped with a flattish head and a squashed face. As she drew closer, she realised it didn't have any fur, and it's claws were so long they curved in a sort of semi-circle, and were also six inches long. It didn't seem to be awake, but didn't seem to be entirely asleep either.

Hagid noticed her approaching and waved. The other person turned at his gesture, and Aeryn was slightly dismayed to see Professor Snape, who was holding one of the elongated arms of the...thing...and pointing his want towards the claws. He scowled when he saw her. Aeryn ignored him, instead asking Hagrid, _"what_ is that thing?"

He smiled excitedly. "It's a Gerg," he said excitedly. "Very rare. Onl' just managed t' catch this one. Professor Snape agreed teh help me remove the poison from it's claws, as it's very valuable. Then I thought I migh' show the kids in me next class while I had it! Wouldn' tha' be a treat?"

"Um..." Aeryn said non-commitally. Snape however, changed to the other set of claws on the 'Gerg', snorted, and said "I've never heard anything so obtuse. Do you want it to maim your third years? I might have extracted the poison, but that is only one of its defences. And it will only take a few days to regain the poison I am taking now. This is not something to play with, Hagrid, unless you want to escort _more_ of your students to the hospital wing."

Hagrid frowned and blushed. "Jus' thought it would be more interestin' than Flobberworms," he muttered.

Aeryn smiled. "Professor Snape is right Hagrid. It sounds too dangerous to be exposing children to. I think you should put it back where you found it."

Snape straightened, and stoppered the second glass vial that held a clear, viscousy liquid. Hagrid nodded. "Got 'im in the Forbidden Forest. Ain't too many of those these days." He bent to pick up the ugly looking creature, who appeared to still seem dazed.

The appearance, however, was misleading. The moment Hagrid lifted it off the ground, it gave a twitch and opened its gummy, squashed yellow eyes and bellowed, leaping from Hagrid's arms and straight for Snape. No one had time to react, and its claws raked a path from Snape's right shoulder to left hip. Upon hitting the ground, the Gerg tore off towards the Forbidden Forest with an unimaginable speed.

"Bloody hell!" Hagrid cried. "Professor – " he started, and seemed unable to believe what had happened. "I'm so sorry, I thought it was –"  
"Hagrid!" Aeryn cried, interrupting him. "We need Madam Pompfrey – now!" She had rushed to Snape's side the moment the creature had bounded off him, and was trying to assess the damage as quickly as possible. Hagrid nodded wordlessly and ran off towards the castle.

Blood was oozing from the wounds in Snape's torso. Aeryn had some healing ability, but wasn't sure how poisonous the claws were from the Gerg. Snape hadn't even made a noise as the claws had shredded his chest, but his face was pale with pain and shock. His black robe was in tatters, and when she tried to peel it off him to get a better look he pushed her hands away. 'I'm fine," he gasped, "I can get to the castle myself."

"Don't be stupid," Aeryn said, with an unaccustomed note of authority in her voice. "I need to get you into Hagrid's hut at least, maybe he has something there for this."

Snape protested, but she overrode him by simply pulling his arm around her shoulders and dragging him towards the hut. He seemed to not have the strength to resist. As she approached, she glanced at the door and it sprang open, as if waiting for them. Aeryn hoped Snape hadn't noticed she didn't have her wand out when she did it.

She deposited him on one of Hagrid's large chairs at the table, and proceeded to try and remove Snape's robe and shirt, slapping his hands away when he again protested. "For crying out loud," she muttered, "don't be such a prude." His face gained some colour at her words and he scowled, but allowed her to remove the black robe, and the clothes underneath, leaving him bare from the waist up. Aeryn's eyes were drawn to the tattoo of a skull with a snake coming out of its mouth on the underside of his forearm. She looked at Snape, then back at the tattoo, but his eyes narrowed – clearly that was something he would not speak about to her. Aeryn took the hint and didn't say anything.

Her face blanched when she saw how deep the claws had ripped into him, and winced every time he did as she was removing the fabric. He gasped when she touched his bare skin. At her questioning look, he muttered "you're hands are cold," and she nearly started laughing. If he could complain, then he wasn't too badly injured. As if to support her supposition, he said "I had already removed the poison from its claws – there shouldn't be anything other than the wound to deal with." Aeryn nodded, and said "well that should make things alot easier. I can heal these, but I think they need to be cleaned first." She looked around. A cupboard standing over the kitchen sink held some likely remedies. Hagrid's job was dangerous, and he was responsible for any veterinary chores, and so he had a supply for both human and animal first aid. Aeryn grabbed what seemed the best option, and set about filling a bowl with warm water and added a few drops. Grabbing a clean towel from the drawer she went back to the table that had Snape now leaning against it, instead of in the chair. He seemed determined not to appear weak before her. She raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything about it.

She plonked the bowl of water on the table and dabbed the towel in it. As she went to apply it, she hesitated. "This will probably sting a little, at first," she said, cautioning him with her eyes. At the first brush of the towel, he seemed to flinch a little, but showed no other signs of discomfort. She breathed a small sigh of relief. Snape looked down at her, intrigued that she seemed worried for his comfort.

He watched her work in silence for a while, looking down at her bent head, and wincing occasionally when she covered a particularly deep cut. He fingers and hands were gentle however, and the healing potion left a blessed numbness in its wake. Watching her, he noticed she chewed her lip, and surmised she must do that when she concentrated on anything, as she seemed to be concentrating on not hurting him. He was very aware of how close she was to him. Her eyes were downcast as she attended what she was doing, and her eyelashes were very long. He became aware of an alluring scent that hung about her, something fresh and light, but nothing he could put a name to. He also became aware that her hands with the towel were moving lower to follow the wounds, now just under his ribcage and moving along his belly. Her light touch was sending shivers up his spine, and he pursed his lips and tried to ignore them. The cuts ran to the top of his waistband, over his hip, and she had unconsciously rested one hand on his belly while she cleaned the cuts. Snape nearly groaned. It had been a long time since he had been with a woman, and Aeryn was unknowingly presenting herself as almost irresistible to his starved body.

Aeryn straighted, and placed the bloody towel back in the bowl. She drew her wand and murmured a healing spell over the wounds that sounded almost like a song, and the wounds vanished. Putting her wand back in her robes, she ran her fingers over his chest where the wounds had been and appraised them – there was nothing left but very faint scars. "Not too bad," she said quietly, and glanced at his face, expecting to see Snape's impatience with her for being so slow. Instead what she saw in his eyes made her heart pound in her chest, and her mouth grow dry. Intense desire showed in those black eyes, and she felt like she was drowning in them. She drew an unsteady breath, and as her lips parted his eyes dropped to her mouth.

Almost against his will, he brought a hand up and brushed a thumb along her bottom lip, then continued along her cheek to just under her ear, then ran his fingers lightly down the side of her neck. His touch sent jolts of electricity shooting through her stomach. Aeryn half closed her eyes as she savoured the sensation, and unconsciously leaned into him.

At her slight movement, Snape became suddenly aware of what was happening, of what he was _allowing_ to happen, and jerked away from her. "Forgive me," he said harshly, not looking at her. "I..." he seemed at a complete loss for words. "Thank you for your administrations Aer- Miss Allen. But I must...please excuse me." And grabbing his cloak, which was more or less still intact, flung it around himself and hurriedly left the hut, not even acknowledging Poppy Pomfrey who had come down from the hospital wing and was now almost at the door of the hut. Aeryn was left standing there, completely at a loss for what had just happened.


	3. Chapter 3: Answers

Chapter 3: Answers

Aeryn was seated at the chaise by the window a few weeks later, reading a letter. The watery morning sunlight was illuminating the parchment before her. It was a letter she had read literally thousands of times, and each time she finished reading it she felt there should be more there. The letter was from her father, backdated to a few years after she was born, but only sent to her about a month after his death. She hadn't read it again for a few years, but had found it while sorting through some old paperwork in her files. Aeryn had been shocked to find it: she thought she had lost it years ago. She stared at it for a long time, blankly, remembering the anguish it had caused her when she had first read its contents. She still cringed at the memory - the last thing she would ever have from her beloved father was dreadful words against her equally loved mother. Now upon reading it again she realised it still affected her, and her eyes glazed as memories she had avoided for the last few years resurfaced.

* * *

Aeryn lived with her mother alone as a Muggle until she was eight. Jahren Allen was the most beautiful woman to her – even looking back on any photos she had of her mother Aeryn still thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world. She had the blackest hair and eyes, but her skin was so pale as to seem almost translucent. Aeryn's hair had once been black, but was now as blonde as her father's. At eight years old Aeryn didn't know what her mother was back then, or who or what her father was either for that matter. She was just a normal, child.

The Muggle school she attended was the same as any other day day – boring school work, a few fights with other students, and no friends. At the end of the day Aeryn waited out the front for her mother to pick her up in the dusty old Ford wagon they had, the same as every other day. Jahren was never late, and seemed very protective of her daughter, chastising Aeryn if she was ever late – unwarrantedly so, it seemed to Aeryn at the time. This particular day was overcast, and cold, but not snowing. Aeryn waited three hours until it grew dark, but no white wagon came up the street to pick her up. It started raining. Eventually Aeryn began the ten kilometre walk home in the freezing rain, hoping against all odds that the car had simply broken down along the way. It took her four hours, and when she arrived home to the empty house, dripping wet, shivering, and terrified, she knew there was something dreadfully wrong, and worse than a simple broken down car. No one was home. Aeryn entered the dark house, noting that nothing was disturbed. It was if Jahren had simply walked out, and could come around the corner any moment, smiling her apologies for frightening her daughter.

After another day alone, terrified and confused, a man came to the door. He had blonde curly hair and a warm smile. He took one look at her when she answered the door and said "I'd know you anywhere." At Aeryn's confusion he told her he was her father, and then sadly told her that Jahren was dead. The elation on suddenly meeting her father was brutally crushed by the knowledge that her mother wasn't coming back. The house had seemed to tremble around her as she wailed her grief, and later Aeryn knew that it really had. Although she didn't remember it at the time, windows had exploded and the roof had practically come down. Alexander Allen had explained to her then part of her heritage – that she was a witch, and could do magic.

Aeryn hadn't noticed the disturbed look on her father's face as he explained this, and it was only after receiving his letter years later, concerning her mother and the other half of her heritage, did she realise that destructive magic of that enormity required, at least, a wand. Alexander had been worried Aeryn would be more than a witch. It now seemed his fears had basis: Aeryn had inherited, to some extent, her mother's power – Sorcery. A darker and more powerful form of magic, one performed without the use of a wand, and determined by the user's emotional state at the time and the will of the person.

Sorcerers had existed until the year Aeryn's mother 'died', when they were wiped out in a mass execution by a force claiming to be on the 'Side of the Light'. Aeryn hadn't found out who or what that 'force' was, but had every intention to. Characterised by black hair, black eyes and very pale skin, and distantly related to the _Veela_, Sorcerers were inherently evil and their destruction went largely unopposed by the general magical population. They had blatantly sided with Lord Voldemort in his rise for power, as they had done in the past with anyone who had a tendency for evil and destruction, and who had the power to do so.

The most powerful Sorcerer's were able to wipe out entire towns with a thought, and this was why they were so dangerous. To even mention them nowadays was almost taboo, and if anyone found out that Aeryn's mother was a Sorceress, and that she herself had some of that destructive power, would be tantamount to suicide. This was why it was so important that Aeryn keep her wand with her at all times.

While she had been that grieving child, Alexander performed spells that gradually changed Aeryn's hair from deep black to pale blonde, so there would be less suspicion. As it was Aeryn had been nearly caught out by Professor Flitwick the other day when she had cut her finger in the staffroom on a piece of parchment; the sudden fright had caused an immediate wish to retaliate, and the object that had cut her had suddenly been obliterated, as well as the desk she was standing next to. Aeryn placed the destruction down to a badly aimed spell when Flitwick squeaked in alarm, strategically pretending to tuck away a wand that had not been out to begin with. Most days, however, she was more or less in control, but to Aeryn it was like fighting a constant battle with a demon inside her.

The letter her father had sent her upon his death contained a history of Alexander Allen and Jahren Innings. They had met, fallen into a fast, passionate relationship which ultimately resulted in the birth of a daughter, married, but fell apart quickly after Alexander learned what Aeryn's mother was. That he regretted his immediate repulsion of her was obvious in his letter to Aeryn – he explained that Jahren had never displayed any tendency towards violence or outburst; in fact she was more emotionally contained than most people, but he never knew why. By the time he had reconciled to the fact that he still loved her, she had disappeared, and taken their baby daughter with her.

Alexander found them just around Aeryn's eighth birthday, but Jahren convinced him that to expose himself to their lifestyle would be too dangerous – Aeryn had already shown some ability in sorcery, and that made her a target, either to become an ally to dark forces or destroyed by fear. However this caution didn't extend to her own self-preservation: Jahren ultimately joined the fight that would come to be known as The Great Purge where she, and all others like her, were killed, leaving a confused and distraught eight year old daughter alone with no answers. Alexander felt it was time to take her in at this time, potential target or not, and expose her to the other side of magic given to her by her genes: the one that was accepted.

She attended Hogwarts to develop her magical skills, and those seven years were the happiest of her life: she had friends and people who understood her, and finally a reason as to why she could do things, although it was only half a reason at that time. Her father doted on her, but tried to carefully manage Aeryn's passionate nature so as to limit any exposure to Sorcery. Aeryn did not seem to have her mother's skill in self control however, even though Aeryn's grasp of Sorcery was limited to begin with. There were accidents, and a few inquiries, but Alexander Allen was a well known and respected wizard and managed to brush over the worst of them to protect his daughter. Aeryn had always wondered what Albus Dumbledore knew concerning her 'talents'.

But the fact of the matter that in Alexander Allen's letter to his daughter, he exposed his mother for what she really was, and what Aeryn was, and warned her that should anyone find out the truth her life would be in danger and that she should refrain from ever mentioning it to anyone. Self-discipline was imperative, but not always obtained. After finding out the truth, only weeks after her father's death, Aeryn was so hysterical that she was unable to perform either magic or sorcery for years, and for that she was actually grateful. During this time she lived as a Muggle in the old neighbourhood where she grew up with her mother, studying psychology and dabbling in healing on the side. It allowed Aeryn to put the past behind her and heal: to gain some measure of self control, and eventually she applied to return to the school of magic that had been her other home. Her magic returned, but she never had grasped enough self control to stop her forbidden abilities from rupturing every now and then.

* * *

A knock on the door brought Aeryn back to the present. Wiping the wetness from her eyes she called "come in," and was surprised to see Professor Snape stalk into her office. The room immediately felt smaller with both of them in it. Neither had spoken to the other since that day in Hagrid's hut. Snape refused to even acknowledge her at the staff table, and he did not look pleased at being in the same room as her.

Severus Snape was a man who was normally in complete control of his sentiments, aside from letting a well-earned superiority shine through in his demeanor. The encounter in Hagrid's hut with Aeryn had caught him completely off guard, but rather than face the object of his downfall he chose to avoid her instead. So it was with a cool wall of disdain and aloofness around him that he unwillingly entered her office.

Aeryn was aware of the tension emanating from him, and was anxious to dispel it. It seemed ridiculous: they worked together, why couldn't they at least get along? She was conscious of his attempts to avoid her these last few weeks, even though she was in no doubt that what had happened in Hagrid's hut had been all in her head; she couldn't imagine Serverus Snape wanting to be close to her. After all, he probably still looked at her as if she was a teenager.

"Good morning," Aeryn smiled at him as he walked into the room – a peace making as it were, and noticed he was carrying a file she had asked him to bring her. "Thank you, Professor Snape, for bringing that to me. Finally," she said with a small laugh to show she wasn't upset.

The first thing Snape had noticed when he entered the room was that she had been crying, although she appeared to be happy enough to see him. The immediate protectiveness that surged through him made him want to grind his teeth in frustration, and her smiling at him only made his mood worse. He had not so much as _looked_ at her in weeks, how was it that she still had some effect on him? Distance, it appeared, needed to be accompanied by animosity to erase his itch. Slapping a file on her desk he said with bored tone meant to insult, "the paperwork you requested, although _why_ you couldn't come get it yourself instead of interrupting me - " he left the sentence unfinished and spun to leave as quickly as possible.

The condescension in his tone immediately got Aeryn's back up, as it was meant to. She wanted to establish some sort of amity between them, but his tone was like a slap in the face. Thinking of past hurts didn't help promote self calm either, and to one whose emotional self control was as times, rather limited, it was like setting a lit match in a pool of kerosene. "Well thank you _so_ much for taking the time to bring that to me," she spat, setting the letter on the chaise next to her, and glaring at the offensive figure in the room.

Snape, his back to Aeryn, almost grinned in triumph. Her arrogance and lack of willpower would be his allies yet. He froze in the act of retreating, however, when she continued with, "who the hell do you think you are, storming in here and abusing me? It's not _my_ fault you didn't bring me Draco Malfoy's file weeks ago when I requested their students' information from all Heads of Houses."

Snape turned back to her with a dangerous glint in his shadowed eyes. His mind was telling him to walk away, as he had planned, but his own pride demanded she be set down to her proper place and show him the respect he deserved. He glanced dismissively at the letter she had left on the chaise, and his voice became softer as he struggled to contain his anger and not let it show. "Forgive me for interrupting what was _obviously_ very important," he sneered sarcastically. "I was just on my way _out_."

It was infuriating. Aeryn was in a towering rage already and he appeared totally in control. _Why_ did he affect her so much? She knew her rage was irrational but she wanted to crack his icy exterior, and get some of her own back. "Honestly, hasn't anyone ever told you to wash your hair?" Aeryn said as she stood and faced him, stabbing as deep as possible with her words. His greasy hair had always annoyed her, anyway. A slight flush crept into his sallow cheeks and she nearly crowed in success.

Snape bore down on her and they stood almost toe to toe, which was quite effective considering his height in comparison to hers, and she had to crane her neck to glare at him. "_You_ are a child. Don't presume to think that for a second I have the time nor inclination to stay and squabble over trivialities. You appear to have some issues. Work them out in your own time. _Away_ from me," he ground out.

Aeryn's eyes narrowed in distaste. "_You_ are the most rude, arrogant, condescending person I have ever met. You were a jerk when I was your student and you're a jerk now when I'm your colleague. You don't have any friends, and it's a wonder why," she said disparagingly.

That argument caught him off guard. _Why_ would he want _friends_? Relationships of any kind were a dangerous thing to begin with; he was a solitary man for a reason. Attachment to anyone of any kind only brought anguish.

Finally Snape's willpower won out. "Excuse me," he said with a sneer. As he vacated the room, he added, "if you're my colleague then _act_ like it." and almost slammed the door behind him.

Aeryn nearly screeched in fury. Why did his very presence destroy any vestige of self control she had? She would be pulling her hair out in frustration if it wasn't all tied back, so she dug her fingers into her scalp instead. The room started to tremble. "No!" she gasped, whirling away from the door. "Calm. I must be calm. I can't be like them." Her father had always tried to keep her emotions in check. She took several deep breaths and tried to relax.

What she needed was to go for a walk in the sunlight, let the cold breeze clear her head. Turning again, she strode towards the door. Upon opening it however, she nearly crashed into Alastor Moody, who was standing in the doorway. "Oh!" she jumped. "Alastor! You scared me!" She laughed breathlessly at her reaction. "Can I help you with something?"

His blue eye was fixed on her face. There was something in his expression... "Yes Aeryn. I was looking for some ideas on how to entice introverted students out of their shells. Neville Longbottom is in my class and needs some...encouragement. But I can see you're on your way out. Come round and see me later." And almost as quickly as he had appeared, he had left again. Aeryn blinked in surprise, and shook her head in bewilderment. He was such an odd man, sometimes.

Well, odd or not, Moody's appearance had at least put her in a better mood.

* * *

"How are your investigations coming along?"

Professor Dumbledore looked enquiringly at his Potions Master from his desk, his fingers in their customarily steepled position.

Snape continued to glare blankly out of the Headmaster's office window into the setting sun. "They're not. I still have not been able to determine who put Potter's name in the Goblet of Fire."

Silence from behind him. Snape turned his head and glanced back at the desk. Dumbledore's expression did not change, but he seemed suddenly disapproving. Snape sighed inaudibly. "I will continue my efforts."

Dumbledore stood and walked slowly towards a cabinet that contained many magical instruments puffing and whirring away sleepily. He tapped one absently with his wand, then turned to face Snape's back.

"Severus, you seem distracted of late. Is there...anything wrong?" The question was put lightly, but Snape knew the Headmaster saw more than he ever let on.

"Nothing that can't resolve itself." More silence from behind him, a silence that questioned. Snape shrugged irritably. "Just a...matter of personality differences."

Albus walked just as slowly back towards his desk, but did not sit down. "A personality difference between you and another member of staff, I believe?"

Snape turned finally from the window. Black eyes frowned into blue, and he snorted. "Truly, is there anyone in this castle that doesn't gossip?"

Albus smiled genially. "The castle has ears, Severus, and I believe that portraits several floors up heard your little...squabble with Professor Allen." For some reason the blue eyes twinkled lightly in mirth. "She is rather...volatile sometimes, isn't she? Or is it just my potions master than makes her that way?"

Snape snorted again and began to stalk around the room. Albus continued to smile. "I believe I 'hit the nail on the head', so to speak, " he said.

"That _girl_ has no respect for the professors at this school who have spent years teaching here, including teaching her. How can she be a counsellor? What does she counsel? How to be rude to your betters? Ever since she has spoken to Potter he has been even more insolent in my classes. She has the emotional control of a child. She shouldn't even _be_ here!"

Albus's bushy eyebrows raised in surprise. It was almost the longest speech he had heard Snape give, and Albus was used to 'observations' about other people's shortcomings from him. He drew breath, and said "well Severus, I believe that Aeryn gets along with every other member of staff here without any problems. On the contrary, I have reports that she is a pleasure to work with. The problem, it seems, is you." The blue eyes centred on the black figure still stalking the room. Snape faced the Headmaster, and his eyes narrowed. "_What_ has she said?" He almost ground out.

Albus strolled to the front of the desk, and looked peaceably at his friend. "Absolutely nothing."

Snape twitched and looked away. He had let her get under his skin again – he had lost control, and she wasn't even in the same room. The headmaster continued.

"Severus, I suggest you work out your...personality differences with my school counsellor as soon as possible and get back to the task I set you of finding Harry's antagoniser. It is most important to keep the son of Lily Potter safe," he emphasised.

Snape's eyes narrowed. That was a low comment to make, but he chose not to rise to the bait. Instead he drew himself up and nodded his assent.

Wordlessly he strode from the room.


	4. Chapter 4: Defenses

Ok – this hasn't been edited overly much, so forgive me if some of it doesn't make sense or there are spelling errors. Wanted to get the next chapter out. Feel free to R & R

Chapter 4: Defences

The night of the Yule Ball was upon them. Part of the lawn in front of Hogwarts Castle had been transformed into a sort of magical grotto, with hundreds of conjured fairies flittering about and settling in the rose bushes. The Ball was being held in the main hall of the castle and it had been decorated to suit the Christmas Season – silvery frost covered the walls and garlands of mistletoe hung in strategic places. Snape studiously avoided these, and did not take any pleasure in the aesthetics, but stood impassively and glared around the room.

He wore dress robes very similar to his normal robes, only these were a dark blue, so dark in fact they looked black under the dimmed lights, but were more formally stitched and were accompanied by a crisp, white shirt and dark blue tie. His black, shoulder length hair was clean and combed, but his black eyes forbade any comment from anyone on that observation.

His piercing eyes watched as each giggling student entered the hall, leaping about in childish excitement one moment, and trying to maintain an air of maturity the next. He scanned the faces of the teachers as they entered, not knowing he was subconsciously looking for one face in particular, not sure if she was even going to be there tonight. As he turned to take his place at the head table before the Champions arrived, he saw Minerva talking to the one he sought, and did a double take at what he saw.

Aeryn was wearing pale blue dress robes, with the neckline cut so as to display her long, white neck and the barest amount of shoulder. Her long hair was down for the occasion, falling in waves past the middle of her back, and seeming to glow in the candlelight. The slight tension seemed to fade from him. He barely recognised the tension for what it was, but it was enough to annoy him. This slip of a girl was one of the most annoying people he knew, so why should he want to see her again? The immaturity she displayed in her office on their last encounter should have been enough to deter his interest. As if to prove a point, he deliberately strode in the opposite direction, and stood silently and oppressively next to the Headmaster.

The Champions and their partners entered, and everyone gradually took their seats. Snape was seated at the same table as Dumbledore, Karkaroff, the champions, and Aeryn. Their attitude towards eachother had been snippy in recent weeks, but tonight she appeared to be trying to be polite and draw him out. He was wary of encouraging this - she could provoke him faster than anyone he knew, and he did not particularly feel like participating in a scene where hundreds of people would see them squabbling once again over childish matters. Eventually his monosyllable answers to her questions and observations deteriorated into silence, and she gave up.

Eventually the sordid affair that was dinner was over. The Headmaster waved his wand and all the tables with their glowing lanterns zoomed away, leaving a dance floor. Snape and the other teachers watched as Harry Potter and the other Champions lead their partners onto the floor, moving through the opening dance. They moved through the first few paces, and a few more couples joined them, including Dumbledore and Madam Maxine. Snape did not dance, instead he took this opportunity to prowl around the outside of the dance floor and watched uninterestedly as other couples took their place on the floor, and wondered when this ridiculous night would end.

As he looked around, his heart froze when he saw that Karkaroff was leading Aeryn to the dance floor. Anger burst within his chest, and – something else? A protective instinct – as the ex Death Eater leered down at her, and held her tightly against his tall frame. Snape's only thought was to get her as far away from Karkaroff's sullied mind and intentions, whether she wanted to be there or not. He moved in their direction, not sure of what exactly he planned on doing, but he knew he had to take Aeryn away from Karkaroff before he spoiled her innocence.

Someone else, however, had obviously seen the two dancing, and moved to cut in. Albus Dumbledore politely, but firmly requested to cut into their dance, and Karkaroff, with a scowl, moved aside. Snape breathed a sigh of relief. He didn't notice that Aeryn did the same, but he did now distinguish that she was smiling, and continued to watch her face as Albus whirled her around the dance floor. She seemed to be enjoying herself; her whole face was lit up with excitement. Snorting and shaking his head, Snape again stalked away.

The night progressed. The students grew rowdier, and the teachers more tipsy on Madam Rosmerta's mead, brought up in barrels especially for the teachers. Aeryn appeared to be one of those who had imbibed a few glasses, as her cheeks were flushed and her eyes sparkled. The sight made Snape scowl all the more, especially as she was passed from person to person, including no few of the students, to dance. Finally though he witnessed her pleading fatigue, and came and stood quietly off to one side of him, but didn't speak.

Albus, obviously with the same idea in mind, came and stood between them, almost making them a group, and sighed contentedly. "Turning out rather well, if I say so myself," he said to no one in particular. "You seem to be enjoying yourself, Aeryn?" he continued. Aeryn responded the affirmative. "Of course, dancing is a wonderful way to spend the evening, wouldn't you agree, Severus?" he asked, obviously trying to include Snape in the conversation. Snape grunted, his response could be taken either way. "But wait just a moment," cried Albus, "I don't believe you have had a single dance Severus! No wonder you seem so glum." He smiled, and his eyes twinkled. "I'm sure if you asked Miss Allen here nicely, she would be happy to take you onto the dance floor!" He smiled, as if such a suggestion would make everything better and everyone happy. Snape closed his eyes and cursed silently. The very woman he was trying to avoid tonight was being thrown at him.

The grimace was not missed by Aeryn. When Snape opened his eyes, he saw her blushing with chagrin, but to his eyes she looked like she'd rather drink poison than dance with him. His pride stung, and his first reaction was to lash out, and bitingly remark she needn't worry, he wouldn't inflict his presence on her. Then, in a flash of insight, he realised she would have seen his reaction to Albus's suggestion, and that she had read his reluctance right. She did not look at him, and her expression was hurt and rejected, not disgusted. He sighed. _Be damned with it, _he thought to himself. _What's one dance?_ Out loud he said, "A wonderful suggestion, Headmaster. Professor Allen, if you would care to join me?"

Aeryn's wide eyes flew to his face. She wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic or not. _He wants to dance with me?_ _After he's been avoiding me like the plague all night? _Obviously he was just trying to please Dumbledore. The mead she had consumed was making her brain a little slow; so it was a moment before she replied. She scanned his eyes, which seemed carefully blank, and thought they looked sincere. "I would be happy to dance with you, Severus," Aeryn said softly. She realised it was the first time she had said his first name, and it seemed somehow...intimate.

Severus's warm hand enveloped hers and he led her onto the dance floor. As they walked through the mills of people, unnoticed by either of them, Albus stood and quietly instructed the band to play a slow song.

Aeryn had become fully aware of Severus the moment he took her hand; a spark of electricity seemed to shoot up her arm. She glanced at his face, it was still impassive, but he seemed to be struggling with something. They found a quiet corner, and he turned to face her, pulling her closer and resting his hand rested on the small of her back. They moved stiffly to the slow pace, their bodies not quite touching, and neither looking directly at the other.

The mead Aeryn had drunk seemed to make things a little brighter, a little more surreal, except for him. She was so aware of him, and felt so clumsy and awkward. Everything physical seemed amplified to her – the feel of his dress robes under her fingertips, the dry warmth of his hand, his chest in front of her, his warm smell. Her lips had quirked when she had seen his clean hair tonight, and she wondered if it was because of her comment the other day. She needed to break the silence.

"Severus," she began, and watched his black, unfathomless eyes drop down to hers. "I...want to apologise. For the other day in my office. You were right, I was very childish, and had no right to lash out at you like I did. Ever since I was young I've...had a little trouble keeping my temper in check. So it wasn't your fault. So...sorry," she finished lamely and dropped her eyes.

He said nothing for a full minute, and in the silence she cringed and blushed. Then, amazingly, he chuckled. She had never heard him laugh in any shape of form, and it sounded almost odd from him, like it was something he hadn't done for a long time. "Apology accepted," he murmered. Her eyebrow quirked, but neither of them mentioned that it was his attitude to begin with that had set her off. She smiled tentatively at him, and although he didn't exactly smile back, his face wasn't as rigid as normal, and his eyes seemed softer. The electricity she had felt when he had taken her hand was still there, and became a little stronger as she stared into his ebony eyes.

The next song had started, as slow as the first, but carried a haunting minor tune with it. Severus hadn't broken off the dance, and Aeryn was more than inclined on staying where she was, so she didn't say anything. Somehow, it felt very safe and right to be where she was, and she unconsciously relaxed into him a little, bringing their bodies into contact.

Severus had been as aware of her as she of him from the moment he took her hand. He had been astonished that she had apologised, and had watched the animated display of feelings cross her face as she had. She sounded almost like a child with her hand in the cookie jar, and the thought had made him chuckle unexpectedly. Her eyes and face were so very expressive, and he was fascinated rather than repelled by them at the moment.

The moment she relaxed into him though, he nearly pulled away – his instinct was to flee this situation, not encourage it. But her small form and the intoxicating smell that hung around her was destroying his intentions. She was so warm, and seemed so small and fragile in his arms as they danced slowly. Without meaning to, the hand around her waist pulled her a little tighter to his body, and he dropped his head down closer, so as to breathe her scent.

Aeryn's entire body was tingling. The rest of the people around them, the music, the hall, all seemed to fade away, and her entire focus was on this one man in the same space as her. Time seemed to stretch out. She turned her face towards him a little, resting her forehead on his jaw, and realised his face was closer than she thought. Her breath stirred his black hair. He had brought their interlinked hands down to his chest, and she could feel his heartbeat through the fabric. Their bodies were barely moving anymore, just a little, just to keep the electricity that was between them at this moment alive. She could hear his breathing, a trifle unsteady, and smiling to herself in contentment, she closed her eyes.

The song ended, and the band that was playing advised they would be taking a short break before their final song for the evening. Severus was the first to pull away, and abruptly, as the spell was broken. To Aeryn, who was now aware of her feelings for him to some degree, felt the loss of his warmth immediately, and her eyes flashed open. He took a step back, away from her. With an unreadable expression he bowed his head politely, and strode off without a word, leaving her standing there. She cringed, stung to the quick. It was as though she was a bad smell, and cringed in embarrassment again when she realised she had been hanging off him when all he had agreed to was a dance, given out of a polite suggestion. He had made his feelings about her clear in his attitude towards her. That was twice this had happened now – her imagining more than there was. How could she face him again after this? What must he think of her, after throwing herself at him?

Aeryn became aware that the number of people in the hall was smaller, and deemed it was late enough for her to be able to leave without causing a fuss. She fled to her rooms, fighting back tears the whole way.

Albus had seen them both leave, his forehead creased in a worried frown.

* * *

Severus was angry and disgusted, but more with himself and not so much Aeryn. He was standing on the top step of the stairs leading down into the rose garden, glaring at nothing. He could see several dark shapes seated close together in secluded places around the area. _Teenagers_, he thought disgustedly. He was going to have to start flushing out students who were letting their hormones get out of control. He cursed silently. They weren't the only ones getting out of control tonight, and he should know better. His vow to someone else he had loved was too important to let the lustful thoughts for another woman interfere.

At the thought of Lily Potter he scowled even more. Before he could continue with those thoughts, though, he was interrupted. "Severus!" It was Karkaroff. "I need to talk to you, urgently!" Severus didn't turn to look at him, but drawled "what's the problem, Karkaroff? You've been hounding me for days, I assume it's not a simple matter of obtaining a whitening potion for your teeth?"

Karkaroff stood in front of Severus, and glared at him. "It's happening, isn't it? The Dark Lord - "

"Quiet!" Severus hissed. "There _are_ others about, Igor!"

Karkaroff;s brows drew even lower. Severus sighed, and wanted to get away from this grasping man as soon as possible. He began to walk towards the biggest bunch of rose bushes, drawing out his wand to blast them apart and reveal any students hiding in them. Karkaroff followed like the dog he was, not letting his fellow ex Death Eater out of his sight. Severus rolled his eyes irritably. "Really, I don't see what there is to fuss about, Igor."

"Severus, you cannot pretend this isn't happening!" Karkaroff said anxiously, although he voice was more moderated in volume now. "It's been getting clearer and clearer for months, I am becoming seriously concerned, I can't deny it - "

"Then flee," Severus replied curtly. "Flee, I will make your excuses. I, however, am remaining at Hogwarts." _For the Potter boy, not that little blonde distraction who calls herself a professor_, he thought sullenly. Turning a corner, Snape blasted more rose bushes apart, expelling several dark shapes. "Ten points from Hufflepuff, Fawcett!" Severus snarled. "And ten points from Ravenclaw, too, Stebbins!" Aeryn had been in Ravenclaw. His eyes fell on Potter and his gangly friend Weasly. His eyes narrowed. He didn't need reminding of his vow right now. "And what are you two doing?"

"We're walking! Not against the law is it?" Weasly said rudely. Gryffindors were all alike.

"Keep walking, then!" Severus growled, and stalked past them without saying another word. Unfortunately, Karkaroff was still in tow. Snape quickened his pace. Upon reaching the castle, he headed towards his rooms, Karkaroff muttering, pleading, and eventually cursing Severus as he was ignored. Eventually, Severus whirled to face him. "You'll forgive me, Igor. I have things to attend to." He said coldly.

Karkaroff's face became smug. "Those duties wouldn't include that blonde little piece of fluff would they? I saw you two dancing. You were quite infatuated." He said with a smirk.

Severus's face became, if possible, even more cold. He wanted to curse this greasy, foul, lying piece of filth into another life. He took a step towards Karkaroff, who retreated the same distance. A dozen things to say came to Severus's mind, but all he said was "good night" and strode off, leaving Karkaroff to glare at his back.

Severus passed Aeryn's rooms on the way to his, which were located on the same floor but down another hall. He refused to look at the door as he went past, but his thoughts invariably turned to her again. He wondered if she had come in from the Ball yet, or if she was dancing with another. The thought made him scowl.

Obviously there was an attraction between them, he could see that now. Until now though, their relationship had been so volatile that any intimacy between them had been disguised. Snape hadn't let anyone get close to him in a very, very long time, and his sentiments were to keep it that way.

But what if he allowed something to happen? She was, after all, incredibly alluring to him, even if she irritated him constantly. He found himself thinking of ways he could help her temper her emotions. He also wondered, foolishly, whether she was pure blood or not, as he knew of her father but had no idea of her mother's background.

It was unwise, however, to become involved with a colleague. He shook his head irritably as he removed the magical wards to his room and entered. It was unwise for anyone to become involved with him. And of course, he thought nastily, it was only lust he felt – the thought of being close to her slender, warm, naked body would arouse a saint – but it would be imprudent to follow his desire. His life was dedicated to another purpose, and there was no way he would ever allow someone to be close to him again, and even if he was sure of Aeryn returning...whatever it was that he felt, he wouldn't become defenceless against anyone. He had allowed himself to hope for that once, and had it cruelly taken away.

There was nothing for it: she was not suited to him and he was definitely not suited for her, even if her mother was a witch. She was therefore to be avoided at all costs. Severus drew a wall of uncaring around him once again, and was determined to never let it falter.


	5. Chapter 5: Caught

The next few weeks were trying for Aeryn and Severus. They avoided each other for the most part, and were scrupulously polite to each other on the odd occasion they did meet. No mention of the ball ever crossed their lips. Both kept silent for their own reasons, and pride was one of them. Severus, unwilling to let his attraction for her develop, knew from experience that women were much more trouble than they were worth. He found his mind dwelt on the girl when he wasn't occupied; therefore, work became top priority. Only as he was drifting to sleep at night did he have no control over his thoughts.

Aeryn did much the same. She was a counsellor, and therefore had to show a bright and caring face to the students she saw; it wouldn't do to have her lost in her own problems when she was trying to help other people with theirs. She also began spending more time with Minerva McGonagall. Although Aeryn had been in Ravenclaw while she was at Hogwarts, she found the older woman's dry sense of humour amusing, and she spent several hours swapping observations and opinions on things, particularly people and their absurdities, with Minerva.

In Aeryn's head, however, the memory of the Yule Ball became worse – she felt like she had thrown herself at Snape so obviously, and he had rebuffed her. But then if he _had_ encouraged her, she wasn't sure how she would have responded either, and so she was left very confused about the whole thing.

And so a pattern developed, and Severus and Aeryn ignored eachother and the entire situation successfully for several months.

* * *

Aeryn rubbed her eyes tiredly, and leaned her elbows on her desk, resting her head in her hands. The second task for the Triwizard Tournament had been held today, and she had gotten no work done, and was trying to catch up now. It was late, after midnight, and more than late enough to go to bed. She shuffled the papers she was working on into some semblance of order and stuffed them into the file labelled 'Longbottom, Neville,' and with a flick of her wand sent the file into a draw nearby. Alastor had wanted some advice on Neville, as the boy seemed very unsure of himself, and Aeryn had promised to talk to him.

Neville, a round-faced fourth year, was reticent to the extreme. It took most of an entire counselling session to get Neville to talk at all, and Aeryn found the poor boy was rather under the thumb of his dominant grandmother, and out-shadowed by his clever friends. She had, however, been developing strategies to help encourage him, and Moody was part of those strategies. _But not tonight_, she thought tiredly. Yawning into her hand, she headed out of her office and towards the stairs.

Walking past Alastor's classroom, she saw there was a light on through the open door; he was obviously still up. Wanting to let him know she was free tomorrow to talk about Neville, she tapped lightly on the door frame. "Alastor?" she called softly. "Are you still up?"

There was a mad scrambling and shuffling sound from the office adjoining the room. "One moment!" came the muffled reply. Aeryn frowned. His voice sounded odd. Peering towards the office, she heard a thumping sound, then silence. Alastor appeared in the doorway, tucking his hip-flask into his coat pocket. "Bit late for a social call isn't it?" he rumbled as he saw who it was.

"Sorry," Aeryn said, her eyes still narrowed – she had a bad feeling something was wrong with Moody. "I came to see if you're free tomorrow to talk about Neville." She paused. "Alastor, is everything ok?"

"Course it is. Why wouldn't it be?" he said as he walked towards her.

"What were you doing just now?"

Moody raised an eyebrow at her directness. "Suspicious, aren't you? That's good, it'll keep you alive. Never trust anybody." He leered at her. "If you must know, I was just doing a bit of research. I have a theory on something about someone, and I wanted to get my facts right before I opened my mouth."

Aeryn gave him a half-smile, with a raised eyebrow. "Something about someone, huh? Sounds incredibly..._technical,_" she said mockingly.

"You're damn right it is. That someone is _you_, girl. Had me going for a while, but in the end you weren't that hard to figure out."

"Oh, really? This better be good, Alastor, I want to go to bed."

He leered at her again, and turned away, towards his desk, which was situated in front of the black board at the front of the room. "Talk to your mother, lately?" he enquired.

"What are you talking about? You know my mother's dead."

"Are you sure?" He looked at her piercingly. "How did she die?"

Aeryn was affronted. "Does it matter? I really don't want to talk about her."

Alastor pursed his scarred lips. "I wonder...why don't you look like her?" he said, almost to himself. Aeryn was feeling the first traces of panic. What did he know?

"What the hell are you on about?" she asked warily.

There was a moment's silence, then almost faster than she could react, Alastor whipped out a knife and threw it at Aeryn's face.

She shrieked and raised her hands defensively, but the knife stopped in mid air. There was a split second silence as they both stared at the knife. It wasn't as if it had struck something, more like time around it had frozen – it simply ceased to move. Alastor smiled, a smile of victory. "Sorcery," he whispered.

She had done it, her automatic reaction was not magic, but sorcery, and now she was exposed. The knife spun in mid air, and _thunked _into the blackboard, an inch in front of his crooked nose. "Damn you!" she hissed.

Alastor chuckled and, with effort, pulled the knife from the board. "You know," he began, "you just gave yourself away. Your father was a very powerful wizard. You could have almost put that little stunt down to wandless magic, if you spoke very fast. That's something a powerful witch or wizard can accomplish. But now the _real_ truth is out. A sorceress, eh? I know some people who would find that information...rather _interesting_."

She glared at him. "What are you going to do?" she asked bitterly.

"Go straight to the Headmaster and tell him about _your_ background," spat a deep voice from the doorway. Aeryn spun around as her heart dropped sickeningly into her stomach and saw the black figure looming in the doorway. "Severus!" she gasped. "Oh no!" He was looking at her as though she was something dirty on his shoe.

"I heard voices during my night time patrolling of the corridors. Having a little late-night get together, are we?" he drawled sarcastically. He wasn't even looking at Aeryn now, but rather addressed Moody.

"So good of you to give up your spare time, Severus, and traverse the hallways for intruders," said Alastor sardonically. He didn't seem at all worried that someone else now knew Aeryn's secret. She felt sick with shame and fear. Alastor looked briefly at her pale face, his features inscrutable. She tore her eyes from him and looked at Severus, who simply sneered at her, and said "I'm sure the Headmaster is still awake. It will be interesting to see how he bears this piece of information. Hiring half-breeds like that werewolf Lupin is one thing. _This_ is quite different," he said softly, dangerously.

"Professor Snape," said Alastor, finally. "It was never my intention to expose the girl to others. You forget, I've spent years learning the ways of Death Eaters and the like. I have been watching her from the start of the year. I don't believe she poses a threat."

"It was your duty to tell Dumbledore of your suspicions. As it is, the duty now falls upon me. Which I will gladly fulfil now," he sneered, and stalked from the room.

Aeryn felt faint with dread. Not only was her secret out, it was known by the one person she wouldn't have told for the world. She started immediately towards the door, intent on chasing him down and explaining, begging if necessary, so he would understand that she wasn't what he thought she was.

Suddenly, remembering Moody, Aeryn glanced quickly at him, a question in her eyes. "Go, girl," he said gruffly. "This didn't turn out the way I planned. I don't mean to expose you, but he does. And only you can stop him." Aeryn nodded wordlessly, and tore off through the door and up the corridor.

Turning a corner she saw him, his black cloak billowing out behind him in his haste to reach the Headmaster's office. "Severus! Wait!" she cried, and ran to catch up to him. "Please wait!" She cried again when she had no response from him. Catching up to him, she grabbed his arm and tugging, tried to halt his steps. "Will you please listen? You've got the wrong idea!"

He snatched his arm from her grasp and glared at her. "What wrong idea? You've been outed!" He loomed over her. "I saw enough to know what you are, and that is you're obviously a danger to this school and its inhabitants!" With that he turned and continued up the hall.

Aeryn didn't know what to do. She had to make him listen, just for a second. Concentrating, she focused on two suits of armour flanking the stairs Severus was heading for. The suddenly sprang to life and positioned themselves in his way. Only afterwards did she think she probably should have used magic to stop him instead of sorcery.

He turned to face her, angry words upon his lips, but she interrupted.

"They'll kill me Severus, if you let this get out."

Her words stopped him more assuredly than the suits of armour had. He stared at her, his black eyes narrowed, for several seconds as if sizing her up. The he nodded curtly. "In here," was all he said as he headed to a darkened classroom.

She trailed after him like a chastened child, and turned to shut the door behind her. A full moon filtered through an open window, making the room almost as bright as day. Still holding the door knob like a life line, she took a deep breath and tried to control the fluttering in her stomach. Everything she said now would have bearing on what the outcome was.

Aeryn turned to face her questioner, her face composed.

"Well?" Severus asked coldly.

Aeryn looked into his forbidding eyes. "I am a witch," she began, and held up her hands to stop him when tried to interrupt. "I _am_ a witch. At least partly. My father was Alexander Allen, a wizard, and I have magic in my veins, as you do." She paused.

"And your mother?" Severus asked, his voice heavy with contempt.

Aeryn looked away briefly, debating internally. Finally, clenching her fists, she just said it the simplest way. "My mother was a Sorceress. But it's not what you think!" she continued imploringly. She was beginning to lose control again. "I didn't even know about magic until I was, like, eight years old, and I only actually found out about Sorcery after I finished school! My mother died when I was eight, that was twenty years ago, I barely remember her! I only found out because my father wrote me a letter..." she trailed off. There was too much in it to tell him. "The point is, as far as I know, my mother never actually hurt anyone. My father explained that from the moment he met her she was as normal as any Muggle woman. Yes, he thought she was a Muggle," Aeryn said impatiently, as Severus tried to interrupt again. She took a deep breath. "I have never had anything to do with the Dark Side. I have never hurt anybody intentionally. Yes, there have been...accidents. But no one was ever hurt. Sometimes I can't control what I do, but there's no desire to hurt anybody behind any of it. If there was, _you'd_ probably be dead by now," she said sulkily, then realised it was probably not the best thing to say when his expression went flat.

"Besides," she continued with a slightly hysterical tone of voice, "I saw your tattoo. You were a Death Eater! And you have the audacity to question _me_?"

"My allegiances have been proven. Dumbledore trusts me and that should be good enough for you." He snapped. "I am not here to convince you of my loyalties. It is you whose integrity is called into question."

She swallowed nervously. This wasn't going well. He was not convinced. "Please," she whispered. "I don't...I'm not like them. Please believe me. I have no way to prove it, but I swear it's true. If this hadn't come out in the open we would've just gone on like before. " Her voiced cracked on the last word, and infuriatingly, tears welled up in her eyes, and she couldn't control them as they brimmed over. She shook her head and looked away, brushing the wetness from her face as she did so. _Get a hold of yourself_! She admonished silently. Begging would not be the way to win over Severus Snape, who would abhor anything of the kind. He surprised her with his next words.

"There is a way to prove yourself." he said. She looked at him, a question in her black, wet eyes. "You have heard, I'm sure, that I am a skilled at Legilimency."

Aeryn didn't have to ask. "You're going to read my mind." It wasn't a question. He nodded, his face expressionless.

Aeryn looked away. There were some things she would rather he didn't know. "It's either that, or I go to the Headmaster and tell him the truth." Aeryn grimaced at the ultimatum.

Finally, she sighed and squared her shoulders, looking him full in the face with her chin high.

"Fine."

Severus had to give it to her – she was obviously willing to go through almost anything to convince him. It was just as obvious she was struggling to control herself, and embarrassed that he saw her weakness, her tears. For once, though, he was slightly ashamed at making somebody cry, which in itself was odd as it was something he managed to procure from most first years almost every day. He was also annoyed that he himself hadn't picked up on her 'heritage'. _No doubt too busy thinking about her in other ways_, he thought bitterly. He was intrigued however, at the idea of seeing what was inside that pretty little head of hers.

He did not give her any warning, but drew his wand and invaded her mind non-verbally. He saw her flinch and shut her eyes spasmodically, then images from her thoughts flashed through his own mind. In no order did they appear.

Aeryn was eight years old again, on that fateful day her mother went missing, then he saw her as a chubby four year old on her first bike, a beautiful woman with black hair and eyes smiling at her lovingly. He saw her perhaps a few years older in a fist fight with a boy her own age, and apparently winning. He witnessed her first kiss, while here at Hogwarts, and felt a stab of jealousy, but ruthlessly pushed it down. The scenes were so different – such a wide range of emotion, but no malice or evil intent.

He concentrated, trying to find instances where she had used her sorcery rather than her magic. He saw the Transfiguration class where she had turned a classmate into a pig, after said classmate had been tormenting her all lesson. He watched as Aeryn avoided a fight with a burly seventh year girl by simply translocating her into the Forbidden Forest. He also saw that Aeryn had translocated herself at one point – when she had received news of her father's death, and had wanted to will herself out of existence but instead willed herself out of the room. Out of the country, in fact.

He searched through all the memories he could find that pertained to her forbidden abilities, and nothing gave any proof that she had ever even spoken to a Death Eater, or been remotely interested in the Dark Lord. She had been out if control at times, to be sure, but even when she was in a towering rage she destroyed objects rather than people. There was also something there...something concerning him...but whether she was naturally gifted at Occlumency, or was simply unaware of it herself, it eluded him.

Finally, he broke the connection and lowered his wand. Aeryn drew a long, shuddering breath, and pressed the heels of her palms into her eyes. Having one's mind invaded was not a pleasant experience. She also felt exposed and raw at having him see some of the most intimate details of her life, and she didn't want to meet his eyes.

The silence stretched out.

Finally she heard him say softly, "I believe you."

She dropped her hands and raised disbelieving eyes to his. He stared back. Suddenly she laughed in relief, and without knowing what she was doing, walked quickly forward a few paces and threw her arms around his tall frame. "Thank you" she mumbled, and was ashamed at the small sob that came out. She realised he had stiffened though, when she hugged him, and dropped her arms. "Sorry," she muttered, and took a step back.

"I will not give away your secret. But I think you should tell the Headmaster of your own accord," Severus said as if nothing had happened.

"What?" she choked out. "You can't be serious. I already have two people to contend with who know my 'dirty little secret' and that's two too many. You can't possibly think that I would tell anyone else?"

"You might be surprised at what Albus can see in some people," Severus said dryly. "He probably already knows." Aeryn still did not look convinced but stood there chewing on her lip and considering him.

Severus surprised even himself with his next words. "Do you want me to go with you?"

Aeryn looked up from her thoughts, her eyebrows raised. "You want to come with me to the Headmasters office? You think it will be that bad?"

Severus shrugged irritably and turned away. "Forget it."

Aeryn took a step towards him, hand outstretched. "No wait!" She halted and took a breath. Severus turned back to face her. She did not look at him but said "Alright. I'll go see Dumbledore. If you come with me."

Severus nodded and together they walked towards the door. Aeryn stopped before reaching it however. "What the hell am I supposed to say?" she said quietly, almost to herself. "Hello, Albus. How was your day? Oh and by the way I'm part evil Sorceress, but please don't fire me 'cause I'm not really evil?" She snorted and shook her head.

Severus watched her frown and chew her lip again. He raised an eyebrow sardonically. "You could save yourself the trouble by the expedient means of walking into his office and blowing something up without your wand." Aeryn looked at him and choked on a nervous giggle, but still looked worried.

Severus sighed, simply took her hand and placed it in the crook of his arm, and walked out the door, Aeryn in tow. He was glad it was night time and no one would see his act of chivalry.

It took Aeryn by surprise as well. She knew it was probably costing him, and so didn't say anything. She was glad he was lending her his strength and was happy with this probably temporary alliance. His arm felt warm and strong through the black fabric.

As they reached the stairs they noticed the two suits of armour still blocking the way. Severus looked down at Aeryn, and asked, in a conversationalist tone "would you care to move them or shall I?" Aeryn's lip twitched. She drew out her wand and magicked the suits back to their usual places. Severus looked at her again, his eyebrow raised. "No demonstrations this time?"

Aeryn shook her head. "I can't control it enough. Magic is easier. And safer, obviously." They continued walking, and she glanced at his face, seeing that his brow creased in thought. She sighed. "What do you want to ask?" He looked sharply at her. She smiled, and said "for once I can read _your_ face. You look like you want to ask me something."

Severus pursed his lips. "Have you ever tried...avoiding the use of those...powers, for want of a better word?"

Aeryn smiled, a little sadly. "Have you ever tried not using your left hand?"

"I see."

"No you don't, but it's ok. I know that using them exposes me to both people who would use them for their own benefit or people who would kill me because of them. They're dangerous and uncontrollable most of the time. But look at tonight – if Alastor had been wrong I'd probably have an extra appendage coming out of my face."

Snape scowled. "I saw him throw the knife. He could have found a less...final way of testing his 'theory'."

Aeryn looked at Severus through her lashes. "Would you have missed me then?" Then she laughed, to cover the seriousness of the question. Severus did not answer.

They reached the stone gargoyle that was the guardian to the Headmasters office. "Liquorice Wand" Severus muttered, and the stone gargoyle moved aside to let them up.

As they reached the door, Severus felt Aeryn grip his arm more tightly and take a deep breath. He knocked, and wasn't surprised when Albus called for them to enter.

"Why Severus, Aeryn, a pleasure to see you out and about together this evening." Dumbledore was seated at his desk, writing with a large eagle-feather quill. Placing it down he said, "It is rather late for a little get together though, isn't it?"

"Headmaster," Severus began. "Miss Allen has something she wishes to discuss with you." He disengaged her death grip from his arm and steered her towards the chair in front of Dumbledore's desk. Albus looked piercingly at her, taking in her large eyes and pale face. He smiled gently. "Am I finally to discover how you managed to destroy the desk in the teacher's staffroom without the use of a wand a few months ago?" Aeryn swallowed, and she became, if possible, more nervous. "Would this also include the reason why Mr. Ryan became a flying pig in Professor McGonagall's class all those years ago, as well as several other instances I could mention?" There was no rebuke in his voice, he simply smiled at her. Standing from his desk, he walked to the front of it and took her cold, clammy hand in his warm, dry one. "My dear, I have had suspicions about your abilities from day one of your education at this school." Severus frowned slightly. Was he the only one not to notice what she was?

"How did you know?" Aeryn managed to crack out.

"I am, as you know, annoyingly perceptive in many things. Not to imply, of course, that you were obvious in giving yourself away, but rather that I knew what to look for. The Great Purge was a matter I protested against all those years ago, so I am familiar with your kind. The question remains though, being only a half-blood, how much can you accomplish with Sorcery?"

Aeryn shook her head. "I'm not sure, I've never really consciously tried to do anything, it was always a matter of impulse. I don't have the control to try. The more I use it the easier it gets though, so I try to avoid it, otherwise there'll come a day when I use it without thinking in front of the wrong person and then there'll be...problems."

Albus nodded. "This must remain between us," he said quietly, glancing at Severus. "If word of this becomes common knowledge, your very life could be in danger. I do suggest however, you try to temper your emotions Aeryn. They will be your downfall if it continues."

"That's much harder than you might realise, sir." Aeryn whispered, looking at the floor.

"Headmaster," Severus interrupted. "Mad-Eye is also aware of Miss Allen's 'abilities', as he was the one who confronted her and in doing so made me aware of them."

"I do not believe Alastor would be inclined on spreading the information to others." He looked down at Aeryn, sitting in the chair and looking like a lost child. "Your secret, dear, will remain so. You need not worry that we will turn you in." Aeryn looked at him gratefully and nodded, still unable to speak.

"Severus, it is, as I said before, rather late. Would you escort Aeryn to her rooms? I think she has had rather a trying evening, wouldn't you agree?" Dumbledore said.

Snape merely nodded. "Coming?" he inquired of Aeryn. She nodded again, and followed him from the room.

They walked in silence together until they reached the sixth floor. They reached the door to her rooms, and Severus bade Aeryn a good evening and started to continue to his own rooms, but was halted. "Severus, wait," Aeryn called. He turned and looked at her, waiting. "Do you...do you think less of me now? Now that you know what I am?" she asked hesitantly.

He regarded her in silence for a moment. "Aeryn, I would think the same of you whether your mother was a pure-blood witch or a Banshee," he replied cryptically, then bade her good night again and left her standing there, puzzling over his words.


	6. Chapter 6: Walls

**OK so just to fill you in, I nearly didn't continue with this story, because I discovered another SS/OC story that has my material in it. I was so CRANKY!**

**So if you've enjoyed my story, can you please go check out 'If I Never Saw You Again' by OvertakingGrapefruitSensation _,_ and leave a rotten review – specifically their chapters 11 & 12, which were taken from my chapters 2 & 4.**

**Thanks for everyone's comments on my story as well, I really appreciate them :)**

**

* * *

**CHAPTER 6: WALLS

The morning after Severus took her to see the Headmaster, Aeryn was leaning against her desk with a mug of hot coffee in her hands. She glanced up and was surprised to see Severus standing in her doorway. Placing her mug of coffee on the table, she smiled at him. She couldn't believe the feeling that surged through her at the sight of him, and the sense of freedom she felt now that she could trust someone to keep her secret. She looked at him warmly. He was obviously a morning person, unlike herself. This morning he looked so clean and fresh, his hair was brushed and he had shaved, and as she walked over to him she could smell something spicy around him.

Severus had awoken that morning after only a couple hours sleep. It had taken a while for his mind to digest all the information concerning Aeryn. The heart stopping moment when he had walked in on Alastor and Aeryn just as Alastor had thrown the knife at her played in his mind. She later had asked playfully if he would have missed her, and the clear-cut answer was yes. Nevertheless, Snape had been dumbfounded when the knife had simply stopped in mid air, and then backtracked and stabbed into the blackboard. He had watched as Alastor had accused Aeryn of Sorcery and he had almost scoffed - how could this girl of all people be what he claimed? And when she had confirmed it, it was like a kick in the guts.

His initial reaction of anger stemmed mainly from his own self-disgust: he was attracted to someone who was impure, unclean. She was not a pure-blood, or even really a half-blood for that matter. His Slytherin background protested against that knowledge so strongly, but ultimately it didn't matter. It wasn't as if he was going to pursue a relationship with her. But almost as soon as that thought had occurred to him in the early hours of the morning, so did the memory of her arms around his neck, the smell of her hair and the warmth of her body pressed to his in that moment of gratitude when he told her he believed her.

And not to mention her memories – to him they were fascinating; he could have sifted through them for hours. He had been shocked at the level of intensity of her emotional range - it seemed more than a body could contain. The extent of her anger, or sadness, or love, was so extreme at times it almost overwhelmed him even as a simple memory. He could see now that it would be prudent to help her contain that emotion, before she did something dire.

But this morning he had another purpose in mind. He had knocked on her door and seen her leaning against her desk and her eyes completely lost in thought. She looked a little tired – perhaps she had as much trouble sleeping last night as he had. The smile she had bestowed on him upon seeing his figure in the doorway however, had done strange things to his heart rate. She had literally shone with happiness at seeing him, and that wasn't the effect he was used to getting from most people. How could anyone be really happy to see _him_?

"Good morning, Severus. How...how are you this morning?" Aeryn asked hesitantly, trying to discern if he would once again revert to his usual cold self.

He didn't answer directly, but inclined his head in greeting and said "I thought it might be prudent to pay a visit to Alastor this morning, and have a little chat. Not that I doubt Dumbledore's trust in him but he can be...rather eccentric, at times."

"Of course. We can go now, if you like."

"Then let's," he said briskly.

Alastor was in his classroom already. Aeryn saw him flicking through a very old and battered textbook, the cover of which was stained with what looked suspiciously like blood. He looked up as they entered. "Survived the night, have we?" he asked of Aeryn, placing the book back on his desk.

Aeryn gave him a sarcastic smile. "No thanks to you," she said waspishly.

"Now now, it was my job to question people and find out their intentions, to think like a Dark wizard, or witch in your case. It's not my fault your mother was an evil Succubus who bred with a wizard," and he cackled at his own words. "Only kidding, girl. I'm glad you're all right."

Severus had seen Aeryn's face go flat at his words, and moved to head off an argument. Flicking his wand at the door to close it, he said, "Alastor, we have spoken to the Headmaster, and he is fully aware of Miss Allen's abilities. We've come to ascertain your intentions regarding the information." Severus watched as Aeryn rolled her eyes, and wondered at the cause of that, but ignored her and continued. "It is very important that that information remains confidential."

"Snape, you're a smart man sometimes, but mostly you're just stupid. Do you really think I was going to send a memo around so everyone could find out?"

"Well, we're not quite sure, so we thought we'd ask and see," Aeryn replied acerbically.

Both of Alastor's eyes focused on her for a second before the blue one went back to Snape. "As I said last night, it was not my intention to expose you to the people of this school. I keep my word." Aeryn stared at him for a moment, and gauged his words as honest. "Thank you," she said graciously, inclining her head.

"By the way," Moody said as Severus and Aeryn both turned to leave, "sorry to scare you with that knife last night. Too bad if I'd been wrong, eh?" Aeryn turned back, and walked over to him. He raised an eyebrow at her proximity. She smiled at him sweetly. "Apology accepted," she said.

Then she grabbed his lapels and shoved him roughly against the wall – no mean feat for someone of her size. "_Don't_ do it again," she whispered savagely, and released him. Without another glance, she turned and stalked from the room. Both men looked astonished at her vehemence. But it was Snape who saw the smile on Moody's face as he followed Aeryn from the room, and he didn't like it.

* * *

Severus ultimately became Aeryn's pressure valve over the weeks preceding the final task. They began spending more time together, and Severus told himself it was so he could moderate her outbursts. Their meetings ended in squabbling more often than not, however, but being able to blow off steam at Snape allowed Aeryn to maintain control when she was around other people. Being around her all the time, Severus was also able to take the blame for some of her 'accidents', similar to the exploding desk in the staffroom.

Aeryn found herself so comfortable with her forbidden abilities around Severus that she sometimes used them without thinking, and was admonished by Severus to control herself better, which ultimately ended in more squabbling, which then proceeded to Aeryn losing her cool and they were back to square one. Severus almost began to enjoy these little fights – they were harmless – he liked to see her reactions, but he had hoped she would learn to control them. He was amazed at her ability to change temperament in a split second – one minute in a towering rage, the next displaying a warm smile. He was irritated as much as fascinated by this. He found she was also a very physical person; she would touch him without thinking, just a brush of her hand on his, or touch his arm as she moved passed him, and each time it was a jolt to his system.

The more time he spent around her, the more he wanted to be around her. He knew he should not be getting involved with someone. Somehow, it felt like a betrayal to Lily's memory, and besides, he was likely to end up dead in his line of work. Not that any of the other Death Eaters were practiced in Legilimency, only Lord Voldemort had that skill, but if any of them inadvertently found out about Aeryn's mother, she would immediately become a target. Severus was also unwilling to let his defences down completely, and at times would try to push her away by reverting to his usual charming self, but she would always draw him back again. He would try to distance himself from her, and find that by doing so, the harder it was to stay away. And so Aeryn saw Severus often, but most of the time he was irritable.

* * *

It was the morning before the final Triwizard task. Severus was going to see Aeryn – he had some techniques for keeping her cool he wanted to talk to her about. He smirked. Imagine him, counselling the counsellor. He did love to teach – it was just one more thing that kept him a step above most people.

He knocked on her door. There was no answer. It was too early for her to have a session with someone, maybe she wasn't in yet? He hesitated, his two desires conflicting with one another – the desire to affect disinterestedness, and the one that wanted to see her. Softly he opened the door and peered in.

Aeryn was standing at the open window, leaning her arm and head against the frame, her back to him. In the hand by her side she loosely held a piece of parchment, and a soft, warm breeze was gently teasing the few strands of pale blonde hair that weren't tied back. She appeared to be miles away. "Aeryn?" he called quietly. He still wasn't quite used to calling her by her given name, but she had insisted, and rolled her eyes often when he addressed her as 'Miss Allen."

She turned slowly and looked at him, and it was then he saw the tears on her pale face. Snape raised his eyebrows in mild surprise. He was also a little uncomfortable; he wasn't adept at dealing with people who were crying, unless it was to scorn them – he saw no use for it himself.

Coming back to the present and seeing who it was, she hurriedly wiped the wetness from her cheeks and sniffed. "Severus," she said hoarsely, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be like this."

Severus walked into the room and shut the door behind him. "Bad news?" he inquired and gestured to the parchment in her hand. She shook her head mutely. "Nothing I haven't read before. It's the letter my father sent me after he died. I just wanted to read something from him...have something of him today...but it wasn't the best choice." She trailed off and a few more tears trailed down her face. Severus regarded her in silence, and allowed her a moment to compose herself again.

She cleared her throat, but her voice still trembled a little. "It's the anniversary of his death. Ten years ago today some bastard decided to challenge him to a duel. I still don't understand how he lost. He prided himself in his ability at duelling and sparring. I saw him in action plenty of times, and he was so quick..."

"Even the most inept person can get in a lucky shot," Snape said.

Aeryn began to pace in agitation. "What really gets to me is that the Ministry saw nothing wrong with the whole thing. A wizard's duel is completely legal if the proper procedures are followed. They have no proof bar what this guy told them, and of course he's going to lie out of his asshole, but that's apparently good enough for them! It's completely unfair – they are just too damn lazy to find out what really happened. Ugh!"

Severus could see she was getting worked up, and moved to head her off. He grabbed her by the shoulders and spun her around to face him. "Aeryn, you must control yourself. I understand that what happened has made you angry, but there's nothing you can do to bring your father back. You must accept the decision of the Ministry, or fight it if you believe you have proof. But acting this way isn't prudent, and you'll only expose yourself!"

Angrily she pulled out of his grasp and glared at him. "What do you know?" she spat. "Have you ever lost anyone you cared about? Have you ever even _cared_ about anyone enough?"

Snape's eyebrows drew together sternly. An image of red hair and green eyes flashed through his mind. "I know more than you can imagine. Don't think you are the only person to lose someone," he said softly.

Aeryn covered her face with her hands and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," she mumbled. She ran her fingers through her hair and a few more strands came loose. Severus took her by the shoulders again, this time more gently. "I know you are upset. You're right to feel angry. But you must be proactive about it, not simply mope about, showing such weakness as this. You are stronger than you know."

She stared up at him, her large black eyes wet with tears. At this moment he felt he could stare into them forever, and a very strong part of him wanted to comfort her. A very imprudent part, but she was so close, and that compulsive scent was playing with his senses. As it had once before, his hand came up and he brushed a thumb along her lower lip. This time when she leaned into him, he didn't pull away. Without knowing he had even moved, he bent his head, and almost hesitantly pressed his lips to hers, softly.

That was all it was meant to be, a gentle, encouraging kiss, and he couldn't even believe he'd gone that far, but his willpower had gone out the window the moment she was close enough. He'd thought about kissing her more times than he would care to admit. Her mouth responded warmly to his kiss, and heat suddenly surged through his veins. Hot desire flamed through him, and his mouth opened, encouraging her to do the same. She tasted salty from her tears, and her mouth was warm and soft.

Aeryn's arms entwined around his neck and Severus felt her body press full length against his, and he pulled her tighter against his tall frame, running his hands up along her back. Her hair suddenly came down - his hands had found the clasp holding her hair back, and he wanted to feel the silky lengths between his fingers. He was totally unprepared for her reaction to a simple kiss – it seemed as if she couldn't be close enough to him, and he was astonished at the passion she displayed.

He pulled back from her slightly, but only to press his face into her neck. Moving her hair aside, he kissed her neck, and let his hands run down from her shoulders, along the sides of her breasts and her ribs until they wrapped firmly around her small waist. They stood there, holding each other and lost in the comfort of the moment. Their breathing slowed, and he heard her murmur his name softly.

As his blood cooled, a pair of accusing green eyes flashed through his mind and brought him up cold. He had loved Lily, and had vowed to protect her son, could he let himself be distracted so easily? As much as he wanted to be distracted, he knew that by giving into his weakness he put them both in danger, and cursed his stupidity for letting things get out of hand.

Pulling back slightly and bringing his hands to her upper arms, he looked down into Aeryn's heavy lidded eyes, seeing the warmth in them. Knowing it was for him alone made this harder. "Aeryn," he said in a low voice, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. This can't be." He paused as he saw the shock in her pale features, the confusion – such a drastic change from a moment ago. Her hands tightened spasmodically on his arms, and she whispered, "Why not? I like you Severus, and I think you like me too. I know we don't seem right for each other, but we are." She frowned at him. "Why can't this happen? It just did!"

Severus moved away. "I'm sorry," he said again, uselessly, and turned away from her hurt expression. What a mess he'd made of things. He should have continued to avoid her rather than increasing the contact between them.

He made a final decision to end anything they might have had. It would be safer for both of them. To do that though, he was going to have to hurt her more. He couldn't give his real reasons for it. "There's somebody else in my life. A woman whose integrity was...is without question. She was there first."

He deliberately made it sound as though Lily was still alive and in his life, and that Aeryn was tainted by her blood relations. Aeryn shook her head, she wasn't about to let go, so he made one more attempt to cut her out forever. And to do it properly, he had to make her hate him, to want nothing to do with him ever again, in case he was tempted to pick up where they were leaving off. Steeling himself, he turned to face her, his black eyes cold and hard. "I only want you for one thing, Aeryn," he said cruelly. "How could I possibly want you any other way? Your mother was a Sorceress, how can I associate with someone like you? You're unstable, childish, and certainly not the sort of woman I could have a relationship with. Granted you're pretty enough, but that's not enough for me. This is finished. I won't speak of it again; I'd appreciate the same from you, and preferably no theatrics about it."

If he had taken a knife and stabbed her in the chest with it, her face wouldn't have looked any different. He forced himself to look away, and so was unprepared - his ears suddenly rung with the force from her open palm slapping him across the mouth.

"Get out, you bastard," she spat, her voice shaking. "Get out now, before I show you how unstable I can really be."

Severus turned and left without another word.


	7. Chapter 7: Voldemort

CHAPTER 7: THE DARK LORD

The Castle had made its finishing preparations on the Triwizard's third and final task; everything was ready and all of the castle's inhabitants, local and visiting alike, looked forward to the events scheduled for that evening.

On the morning of the 24th, Minerva approached Aeryn in the staffroom, just as most of the teachers were on morning tea. "Aeryn, just the person I was looking for." Aeryn looked up from her cup of coffee at the approaching older woman. "Albus wanted me to ask you if you would preside over the final task tonight from _inside_ the maze," she said seriously. "He would have asked you himself, but has some final preparations to make." Aeryn noticed Severus look up from a book he was reading, pausing as he took a sip of tea. She had completely ignored him all morning, but it appeared he was happy with that arrangement. She had tried to avoid him – the memory of his harsh words were still fresh in her mind - but he had always seemed to be near her. At the moment, however, he had a disapproving frown on his face, as if he was warning her against McGonagall's suggestion.

Aeryn looked away from him sharply and faced the older woman. "Inside the maze? Whatever for?" she asked.

Minerva looked briefly around at the other teachers in the room, pursed her lips, and lowered her voice. "It appears that someone is likely to either cheat in the final task, or make a move on Mr Potter, as this is their last chance. In either case, you would be an impartial witness to whoever gets to the Triwizard Cup first, and be able to keep an extra set of eyes on the Champions. We will of course be keeping an eye on things from just outside the maze should you need any help." Minerva placed a warning hand on Aeryn's shoulder. "Albus of course would not put you in unnecessary danger; if you feel uncomfortable with the request and don't wish to do it, he advises you to do so with no hesitation."

Aeryn grinned, feeling rather reckless. Plus it would annoy _him_. "Bit more excitement for the night, huh?" McGonagall raised her eyebrows disapprovingly. Aeryn laughed. "Of course, I would be happy to help out. But as a Hogwarts employee, am I really the best choice to be an 'impartial' judge?"

Minerva nodded. "Even Karkaroff gave his consent. Make sure you're down at the maze early enough so Hagrid can drop you in the centre." Aeryn nodded, looking forward to the event even more. This was much better than sitting in the stands – being in the middle she would see first hand who the winner was.

Glancing briefly at Severus, and raising her eyebrows dismissively, she strode from the room.

As the door closed, Severus loudly snapped shut the book he had not been reading. Filius Flitwick paused in the act of selecting a biscuit to look at him in surprise. Snape ignored him. _That silly girl_, he thought crossly, she was going out of her way to spite him; he could see that. Contrary to his words yesterday about not wanting anything to do with her, he still oriented himself around where ever she was, never speaking, but always covertly watching. He was not one for hunches, but he had a bad feeling about tonight. If something did happen, he would rather be in the thick of things, and preferably between Aeryn and whatever that something was.

* * *

There was a grand feast that night, and the hall was more crowded than usual. The parents of the Champions were there, as well as Ludo Bagman and Cornelius Fudge. At the end of the feast Dumbledore asked everyone to make their way down to the Quidditch pitch. Aeryn caught up to Hagrid, who kept glancing at the Beaubaxtons teacher, Madame Maxine, and asked him gently if he would mind taking her to her designated spot in the centre of the maze.

As Hagrid dropped her off, she smiled and patted his arm in sympathy. "Don't worry Hagrid, everything will work out fine." She smiled her encouragement, and watched him fly away on apparently thin air – she knew of the Thestrals but couldn't see them, was dark and completely silent where she was, and she shivered slightly, even though it was a warm night. Aeryn went and found a likely spot to wait – one that afforded a view of the only entrance into the centre of the maze. The Triwizard Cup gleamed brightly in the growing darkness. She couldn't hear anything outside the maze, and it was really quite eerie standing there all alone, even though she knew hundreds of people were only half a mile from her. Her long hair, which was out this evening for once, blew gently in the soft breeze.

With nothing else to do but wait, her thoughts inevitably turned towards the potions master. She had been so humiliated – it wasn't as if she had thrown herself at him, this time she was _sure_ the feelings had been reciprocated. How could he then have been so callous? She still cowered at what he had said. Words like 'unworthy' and 'childish' were almost chanting themselves at her. _How could I associate with someone like you?_ churned constantly through her mind. She wanted to cry. She _had_ cried, for hours, after he had left, and had not slept until the sun was peeking over the mountains this morning. The absolutely rejection from him was almost unbearable, and tears began to well in her sable eyes. She shook them away angrily.

After what felt like hours she heard a commotion coming from the shrubs around her. It sounded like one, maybe two people yelling, and she saw red flashes reflecting dully through the branches of the maze. Hastily she walked towards the opening in the shrubs, then stopped herself. It wasn't her place to help out, only to observe, unless there was danger. She calmly walked back to the Cup, and stood waiting, next to it. The commotion in the bushes stopped, and it was suddenly silent.

She nearly gasped when she saw Cedric Diggory half supporting Harry Potter as they came through the trees towards the Cup. They stopped when they saw her. With her dark green robes on, and standing in the shadow, she was nearly invisible except for her pale hair. She smiled, and gestured towards the Triwizard Cup. "Which of you is it going to be?" she asked them calmly. Harry and Cedric looked at eachother, then answered together. "Both of us."

Aeryn was slightly startled, but nodded, and they stumbled towards their prize. Aeryn had been told it was a portkey that was meant to take them dramatically to the front of the waiting crowd. Not wanting to be left behind to find her way out, she readied herself to take it at the same time.

Pausing before it Harry said "On three, right?" and glanced at Cedric. "One – two – three –"

He and Cedric grasped a handle, while Aeryn touched a finger to the base.

As soon as they touched it, Aeryn felt a jerking sensation in her belly, and it felt like her feet had left the ground. She felt Harry and Cedric next to her, and she couldn't release the Cup.

Aeryn's feet hit the ground suddenly. Shaking her head, she glanced around and saw the boys doing the same. Not the grand entrance she was hoping for, then realised that there was no waiting crowd. Wherever they were, it was completely silent.

"Where are we?" Harry asked. She shook her head again. They had definitely left the Hogwarts grounds. They seemed to be standing in a graveyard, but one she had never seen before.

"Did anyone tell _you_ the Cup was a Portkey?" Cedric asked Aeryn.

She stood up, brushing her dark green robes off. "They did, but it was supposed to take us back to the entrance of the maze, where everyone would see whoever had won. I have no idea _where_ this is." She pulled out her wand, and noted that Harry and Cedric followed suit.

"Someone's coming." Harry said suddenly, and they all watched a figure making its way towards them around the graves. It seemed to be carrying something. Aeryn did not take her eyes from the dark figure. Then, without warning, Harry cried out and clutched at his head. In the split second she took her eyes from the dark figure to see Harry writhing on the ground, she heard a high, cold voice say, "_Kill the spares."_ She whirled around quickly, as a second voice cried "Avada Kedavra!"

A blast of green light shot at her and Cedric, and in that instant her self-preservation reflexes created a shield of pure thought, stopping the light from reaching her, but not Cedric. It also didn't stop her from being flung backwards and into a headstone block. Cedric crumpled to the ground. That was Aeryn's last view before the dim light faded from her sight.

* * *

Someone was yelling. And someone seemed to have left a knife stabbed into her temple. She opened her eyes groggily, and blinking a few times to clear her vision, looked around without moving. She didn't feel up to moving yet. The stars were blurry, and the faint wind that stirred the grass was making the tree limbs above her sway with a gentle creaking noise. She pushed herself up inch by inch, until she was resting on her elbows, and concentrated on keeping her head from exploding, or her stomach from emptying.

And then she heard two voices yell at the same time "Avada Kedavra!" and "Expelliarmus!", and that was enough to bring her to her feel quickly, when she recognised one of those voices as Harry. Her eyes widened as she took in what she was seeing. Not far away, Death Eaters had surrounded a golden cage of light that contained Harry, duelling a snake-like man in black robes. She heard the Death Eaters shouting at each other, and at the man duelling Harry, calling him "My Lord". _Oh my God_, she thought, as an icy feeling spread through her veins. _Voldemort is alive, and here_.

No one had seen her rise from apparent death. She wiped away the blood that was trickling past her right eye, and walked forwards towards the commotion, unsure of what she was going to do, but knowing she had to stop them and save Harry. Two Death Eaters had finally noticed her, and cried out in alarm, shooting jets of light in her direction. Reflexively her mind reacted, and the two jets of light moved aside as if commanded. Aeryn didn't even consider her wand – right now, this forbidden power was her ally, and one much more powerful. For the first time in her life she had control, her power did what she wanted it to. Again, they tried to curse her, with the same results, only this time a flash of irritation caused the spells to double back on themselves, and the two Death Eaters crumpled to the ground.

Coming closer, she saw Cedric's lifeless form on the ground. Even before her quick fingers found his neck, she knew that there would be no pulse. Anger and regret pulsed through her like life blood. If she had reacted faster she could have saved Cedric's life as well as her own. Pushing those thoughts aside, she looked towards the crowd surrounding Harry and Voldemort. Anger, fear, desperation – they all combined to make her feel stronger than she ever had. She needed to get to Harry, or he was going to die.

These petty, pathetic men stood in her way. She heard them jeering and cursing at the boy who stood in the middle, fighting for his very life. Abruptly more jets of light came at her, and this time she didn't even gesture, just looked fiercely at the offending spells and they vanished before they even met her. Her vision blurred slightly for a moment, but she ignored it. She was angry, and getting angrier by the second as she stalked closer. _How dare they? He's only a child. They torture people for fun, and are too afraid to show their faces_. She deliberately filled her head with these thoughts to sustain her anger, as she recognised that if she lost that emotion, she would be taken down alot faster.

The Death Eaters seemed to suddenly realise they were up against more than they could handle, and started to back off. _No_, she thought, _I won't let you get away_. And drawing in more power than she had ever held, she threw her anger at them like a shockwave, knocking all of them off their feet, and unconscious. She grasped her head in her hands for a moment as dizziness filled her, and her vision once again blurred. She didn't know what damage had been done when she had hit her head, but attributed the faintness to that.

The connection between Voldemort and Harry broke at that moment, and she saw Harry break away and run, straight for the Portkey. At the last second he saw her standing there, and his face registered dismay as his hand closed around the Portkey, taking him and Cedric's body back to safety.

In the silence that followed, she turned slowly, and looked at the man who wasn't a man. He had seemed to weaken for a split second when the connection broke, but watched impassively as Harry had disappeared. Voldemort glanced around him, seemingly unaffected that all of his Death Eaters were incapacitated. Then he looked at the woman standing in the middle of them.

Raising a hairless eyebrow, he asked quietly, "Are you the cause of this destruction?" His voice was high and quiet. It raised chills on the back of Aeryn's neck. She nodded once silently, angrily. "Then you are the cause of that one's escape. You will not leave here alive tonight." He raised his wand at her, then cocked his head to the side when he noticed she held no wand. "You will not even try to defend yourself?"

Aeryn finally found breath to speak. She was trembling with rage, and although she did not know it, exhaustion. "I do not need a wand to fight you. I am stronger than you. You are nothing, and you deserve to die." She spat, her voice shaking, her hair whirling around her in the wind. She wiped absently at the trickle of blood now coming from her nose.

He noticed this, and inquired, still quietly "Sorcery?" She didn't bother to answer. He continued. "You would be Aeryn Allen, then. My faithful servant who is at Hogwarts at this very moment has informed me of your presence. Sorcery or not, I can see you are growing weak – you've drawn on your own power too much this night, and soon you won't have strength left to keep your heart beating." He seemed so...smug. "You didn't know that, did you?" he continued quietly, with a chilling smile. "Your willpower is what keeps you alive and breathing. Should you wish to fight me, here, now, you will surely die, either by your own hand or mine."

She quietly seethed at the conviction in his voice, but she was more than ready to fight him. More focused than she had ever been in her life, she consciously threw another shockwave at him, but he deflected it with his wand. Aeryn for a moment wasn't sure which magic would be stronger – his or her own. She hesitated, and her eyes narrowed.

He smiled again. She had power, oh yes, but it would be a matter of wearing her down, and he would win. Suddenly shockwave after shockwave came his way, and as soon as he had deflected them, huge chunks of rock and debris came flying at him. Voldemort barely had time to keep up, but threw a stunning spell her way. Contemptuously she blocked his spell with a flick of her hand, and drew her wand. She had never tried this, and she had certainly never tried to kill anyone before, but she was full of confidence.

Voldemort read the intent in her eyes. "_Avada Kedavra_!" she screamed, and threw her whole willpower into the single thought of seeing him dead with that spell. But before it hit him, he had turned on the spot and vanished. The combined force of both forms of magic hit the Church he had been standing in front of, and the whole building was obliterated.

Nothing stirred for about ten seconds, except the sound of chunks of rock falling from the sky around her. Aeryn started to tremble violently, and realised what the Dark Lord had said about her overdrawing on her power was true. She had to get back to Hogwarts, only apparition wasn't one of her strong points, and she had only translocated herself once by mistake. The strength was leaving her legs, and blackness was creeping into the edges of her vision. _Come on, you've done it before_, she thought to herself. J_ust move!_ Some of the Death Eaters were stirring, and she felt the first fingers of fear running up and down her spine. She was drained, and had no hope of getting back. She would never see Severus again...

With a horrible, dizzying feeling, her feet landed on the soft grass of the Quidditch Pitch in front of the maze, not six feet from where people were screaming and crying. A few people gasped at her sudden appearance. She dimly saw people crowding around Cedric's body, and vaguely registered that Snape was nearby, and yelling in Dumbledore's face, when he turned and saw her. His black eyes widened, and he started towards her, when her vision blurred, and she sank to her knees, falling into the embrace of complete blackness.

* * *

Snape had been standing at the opening of the maze with Dumbledore and the other teachers. Karkaroff had just brought out a very confused Viktor Krum and an unconscious Fleur Delacour. It appeared that final two of the Champions were missing, as well as the Triwizard Cup. Neither had Aeryn, whom he knew had been in the centre of the maze with the winner. He prowled restlessly, watching as Dumbledore issued orders in a quiet, authoritative voice to McGonagall and Hagrid. They were trying to keep this information quiet. Severus waited tensely, as time ticked by.

Ten minutes later, with a pop, Harry and Cedric appeared, lying in the grass just in front of the stands. It took him a split second to realise Diggory was dead, and for one heart stopping moment he thought Harry was as well. _I've failed you_, he thought despairingly, then saw Harry was breathing as Dumbledore turned him over. People began screaming "he's dead! He's dead!" and panic broke out everywhere. Girls were crying hysterically and grabbing the sleeves of his robes demanding what was happening. He shook them off roughly, and searched the faces for Aeryn. She had not come back with the Portkey, which meant she was still wherever it was the boys had just been. And from the look of them – Harry was covered in blood – she was most likely not alive anymore. The thought filled him with a cold dread, and his lungs seized up. "Dumbledore!" he cried, but Dumbledore was now speaking to Mr and Mrs Diggory, who were both sobbing over Cedric's body. Snape ran to the Headmaster and grabbed his arm in a firm grip. "Albus! It's Aeryn, she hasn't returned!"

In the confusion, no one noticed a half conscious Harry being led away by Moody.

Dumbledore turned to Snape. "Calm yourself. If she is still alive, we will find her." he said quietly but determinedly.

Snape ignored Dumbledore's insistence he calm down. _If_ she was alive? "Dammit! We can't just leave her! We need to look for her now!" Snape yelled in Dumbledore's face.

A few people suddenly screamed again. Snape turned, and saw a small, dishevelled figure with blonde hair standing on the grass near to them. It was Aeryn. He gasped in relief and ran towards her, then ran faster as he saw her knees crumple and she fell forward. Dropping to the grass next to her, he turned her small figure over and lifted her upper body into his lap, looking desperately into her face for signs of life. He felt for a pulse, and it was there, although weak, and her breathing seemed laboured.

"Severus!" Dumbledore cried, coming up next to him. "Give her to Hagrid. She will live. You must come with me now, Harry is in danger!" Snape looked at the Headmaster, and hesitated. "Severus!" Dumbledore said in a resounding voice. "Remember your oath!"

And with a feeling as though he was cutting off his own arm, Severus gently handed the small body to the half-giant and followed the Headmaster, to rescue the son of his first love.

* * *

There was red, then black, then red again. Aeryn groaned and lifted an arm that felt as heavy as a stone block to cover her eyes. Black again.

"Are you awake, this time?" asked a deep voice.

Aeryn dragged the arm from her face, and opened eyes that felt like lead weights, wincing at the sunlight that burned into her skull. Her blurred vision caught sight of a black figure sitting in the shadows next to her. She was apparently in the hospital wing. "Severus?" she asked hoarsely.

"So you are awake."

Aeryn very slowly sat up. She felt like she had been hit by a truck. "What's wrong with me?" she mumbled, painfully bringing Snape into focus. Poppy came over quickly and assessed the younger woman. "About time," she muttered. "We began to suspect you were never going to wake up. Here, drink this," she commanded, and gave Aeryn a bitter tasting potion that filled her body with heat, but cleared her head. "Good. I'll leave you alone for a while, but please Severus, keep it brief." She turned and left them alone. The tension between Aeryn and Severus was palpable.

Severus drew a quick breath, and began, keeping it cordial. "Between Potter and Dumbledore, we've figured out what occurred in the graveyard. Potter said he saw you facing the Dark Lord a moment before he abandoned you-"

"He didn't abandon me - he thought I was dead, until that moment."

Severus sneered. "So he says. Am I right in guessing your absolute stupidity in that you tried to fight one of the most powerful wizards of all time?" he asked angrily.

Aeryn gave him a smug, but tired smile. "And won." Then she frowned. "Well, almost. He ran away." At this thought she smiled again.

"And in doing so you nearly died!"

Aeryn frowned at Severus. "Hardly. I'm here now, aren't I? He wasn't so tough."

"That's not what I'm talking about! Dumbledore explained it to me. Your power, your sorcery, is totally dependent on your own strength. If you use too much of it at once, your body will begin to shut down, which is exactly what occurred four nights ago. You did, in fact, nearly kill yourself!" Severus snarled.

Aeryn's mouth opened in surprise. 'Four nights ago? Have I been asleep that bloody long?" Severus stood angrily from his chair. He was hoping for a reaction to what he had said, just not that particular part. He turned back as she gasped, and grabbed his sleeve. "Harry? Cedric...they - " she stopped as her memory filled itself in. "Cedric's dead?" Severus nodded, once. "And Harry? Is he ok?"

Snape paused before answering. "He is. Now. Shortly after your return he was attacked by Moody, who was in fact a Death Eater named Barty Crouch Junior, who had been regularly ingesting Polyjuice Potion to maintain his appearance. We discovered the real Mad-Eye being held captive in his trunk."

Aeryn's face registered shock and disbelief. "A Death Eater? What, all year? We've had a Death Eater in the castle _all year_ and no one noticed?" she asked incredulously.

Severus shrugged irritably. "Apparently not. He is, however, dead now." He noticed her still holding his sleeve, and gently disengaged her arm.

"And you?" Aeryn asked timidly. "How are you...since all this happened?"

"Perfectly fine. I just stopped in shortly before you finally woke up – a favour to the Headmaster. He asked me to check on you." The truth was he had not left her side since rescuing Harry, and even stayed in the Hospital wing while the boy had been there, enduring that arrogant child's nosy stare. But now that she was awake, and he was convinced she would be alright, it was time to take up again the facade that he did not care about her. He did not want to leave, but was determined not to let his guard slip again.

"But I have things to attend to now." He inclined his head. "I hope you are well soon." he said politely, and turned to leave. Aeryn nearly called him back, but she refused to lower her defences for this man again. He had hurt her too much with his words, so instead she watched sadly as he left the room.

A moment later Poppy came in. "Now dear, you need to rest. Dumbledore's and my orders. Thank Merlin he knew that all you needed was sleep, or I'd be at my wits ends trying to figure out how to wake you up. Sleep. Now." She said firmly, and closed the curtains behind Aeryn's bed that were letting in the sun.

* * *

**Well that was a hard chapter to write! Yes, she is rather arrogant about her abilities now, isn't she? This is now obviously the end of GoF - things will start getting interesting between Snape and Aeryn during Umbridge's reign. Please review and let me know what you think so far!**


	8. Chapter 8: Return

Sorry for the long wait between chapters...I've had a bit on, plus I wasn't sure how I was going to write certain bits of this chapter.

Hope I still have some people interested in my story? Or have you all given up on it?

* * *

CHAPTER 8

A brief, heavy summer storm swept through the town, leaving the streets wet and the gutters running with water. The sunlight broke through the heavy clouds as they drew away, and illuminated the room where he sat. From the second story up, he glanced out onto the bright, wet lawn as a white peacock landed heavily on the stone wall surrounding the house where he was. Squinting irritably at the light that now pervaded the room, he snapped, "Close the curtains, Lucius," and that man hurried to do his bidding.

He continued his contemplation, instead looking at his long fingered, white hand. It was almost like a woman's hand, with slim, tapering fingers. Delicate. Even now, it was breathtaking to observe – to have one's own body back, and the power it contained – and it was something he would never take for granted again. He had almost lost it again, three weeks ago, on his return to full power. That night, in the graveyard, and that woman...

He smiled coldly. That woman. She had been glorious in her rage. And the power she had shown – even he knew it might only be a fraction of what she possessed. Then again, perhaps not - she was after all, a half-breed. A slight frown creased his hairless brow. She had almost destroyed him with that power, so soon after his return. He couldn't allow that to happen again. Pensively, he considered his options.

Standing slowly, gracefully from his chair by the window, he turned to the room, and the six people within it, who waited silently for his command, his whim. They were seated around a large table, at the head of which stood a black leather chair so large as to be almost a throne. He ran a long fingered hand over the back of it before seating himself. The other occupants of the room watched him furtively, afraid to meet his eyes, save one. His black hair once again hanging in his face, unwashed, Severus Snape watched impassively as the Dark Lord looked at each of them in turn, his snake eyes piercing each of them. Two other men, two women, and one young boy together made his most trusted instruments.

"Mortality is an overvalued thing," he said softly to the dark room. "Men will go only so far to achieve a life which cannot be extinguished, and yet they do nothing with those lives. I have gone further than any other in the pursuit of immortality, the defeat of Death. Further than any of you know. And I believe I have succeeded. But there is something else which I desire." He had considered his options, and had reached a conclusion. "I am the last in a line of great wizards, stemming from the greatest of them all: Salazar Slytherin. His line must never become extinct.

"I want a child. Of my own blood, with my own power, mixed with that of a woman who is worth and with as much power." He paused, to see the reactions of the people around him. A rat-like man leered appreciatively, while an impeccably dressed man with long blonde hair glanced at a woman next to him, also with blonde hair. Snape's expression did not change. The young boy continued to stare at the table top.

Noticing the expression on the face of the woman with red hair to his left, a cold amusement lit his eyes for a moment. "No, not even you, with your power can fill that role," he said, and watched as the face of the woman fell once more into subservience. Voldemort continued. "I have already found that woman. From her shall stem a new line of wizards. She will not be willing, but I will break her."

* * *

Severus sat in an overlarge armchair, a few weeks later, looking at the parchment in his hand, a glass of wine held in the other. A post owl had delivered the letter to his house half an hour ago, but he had not opened it yet. He recognised Aeryn's cursive writing, although it wasn't as neat as it normally was. He should just ignore it, as he had ignored her for the rest of term last year.

Placing the glass of wine down, he stood and walked to the window. Staring blankly out at the setting sun, Severus let his mind dwell briefly on matters he had been avoiding all summer. The last few weeks had been difficult. Not only was his role as a double-agent extremely taxing, but he was forever forcing thoughts of Aeryn from his mind. Now that the Dark Lord knew of her existence, it would only be a matter of time before he sent someone for her, whether to recruit her or to murder her, he wasn't sure.

And now that Lord Voldemort had his sights set on producing an heir, Severus was intent on keeping Aeryn out of the lime light. The only thing that gave him comfort was the Dark Lord's knowledge that she was not a pure blood, and therefore she wouldn't be 'worthy' of that role. Whoever the woman turned out to be, she would likely serve her purpose and then be...discarded. Severus knew sex wasn't high on the list of priorities for the Dark Lord. The act that resulted in producing an heir would only be a means to an end.

His thoughts once again turning to the parchment in his hand, Severus sighed, and slowly broke the seal on the letter. Upon opening it, it contained only a single short sentence.

_Severus,_

_Please contact me regarding a private matter._

_Aeryn_

His brow creased, and he pinched the top of his nose. He knew she was safe – Dumbledore had personally seen to her protection since the end of the year, even though she was unaware of that fact. He knew she was staying in the house in the old Muggle neighbourhood where she grew up with her mother. He also knew that she had barely left the house all summer. So logically there could be nothing wrong with her that required a response from him. Nothing that he would want to discuss, in any case.

It could wait until school started, one week from today.

* * *

Aeryn awoke suddenly. For a minute she stared at the dark blue draperies that were closed around her bed, wondering where she was, as the nightmare imagery still clouded her vision. She closed her eyes and rubbed her face vigorously. They were getting worse. For some reason, this time when he confronted her she couldn't protect herself, and the result had been...disturbing. It shook her more than any of the previous dreams.

She yawned and stretched, rubbing eyes that felt like sand. Sleep was not peaceful, lately. Ever since the night in the graveyard where poor Cedric Diggory had been murdered, she had been plagued by intense dreams, nightmares, all concerning the Dark Lord, and she wasn't sure why. The night itself had been intense and chilling, naturally, but afterwards she had dealt with it. Her ego had even been boosted when she had, in her estimation, nearly defeated the greatest wizard of all time. She then proceeded to dismiss the entire matter and move on.

But a few weeks ago the dreams had started. At first, she had the feeling someone was watching her in her dreams; a malicious presence always out of sight. She had always jerked awake suddenly when she had these dreams, unable to return to sleep. Then that presence made his appearance in the form of Lord Voldemort, off to the side of her dreams, barely in focus, always watching. And last night, he had done more than simply appear and watch – he had stood before her, silently, with a leer on his inhuman features, and she had felt powerless, which in itself was strange as she was almost cocky in her ability now she had some measure of control.

She snorted. She had _briefly_ obtained control of her tabooed Sorcery; even after the emotional turmoil concerning Severus's dismissal and the Dark Lord's fury, she had felt almost serene. Then around the same time as the nightmares had begun, she found herself struggling, and every now and then nothing would happen when she willed it to.

The only person she felt she could talk to about this had ignored her brief and vague cry for help. Aeryn had received no response to the letter she had sent Severus a week ago. She wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, and assume he hadn't received it, but she knew that wouldn't be the case. He was actively avoiding her. Was her presence so disgusting to him that now he wouldn't even communicate via post? She sighed. She was trying to think of him less. That boat had _definitely_ sailed.

Dragging herself from the bed in her Hogwarts room and glancing blearily at the clock, she realised she had slept late, and breakfast for the teachers had started twenty minutes ago. The students would be returning to the school tonight on the Howarts Express, and she still had a lot of filing and organising to do, something that got missed at the end of the last school year. _If I can stay awake_, she thought to herself with a frown.

Today would also be the first day she had seen Severus since the end of school last term, and she wasn't sure how that made her feel. She had left off returning to the castle until the last minute, and had only arrived late last night, hoping to avoid him as he seemed intent on doing the same. After dwelling all summer on her issues concerning Severus, it seemed pointless to pursue him. He had made his intentions very clear – he wanted nothing to do with her - she was tainted in his estimation. She had therefore resolved to treat him no worse or better than any other of her acquaintances. Once she had reached this decision though, a sadness almost consumed her. She wanted to be close to him, and his rejection had cut her to the core. The harsh words he had thrown at her after they shared a kiss in her office still reverberated through her head, when she least expected them.

Sighing, she made her way into the bathroom, showered, and changed into her teacher's robes. Black today, to suit her mood. She glanced in the mirror, arranged her hair into some semblance of order - meaning she pulled it roughly off her face and tied it back into a bun - and she practiced a smile while looking at her reflection. The smile made the dark lines under her eyes more pronounced. The smile turned into a grimace. _Oh well, I was never going to win anyone with my looks anyway_, she thought grimly.

Leaving her room, she wondered idly who the new DADA professor was going to be. She shuddered as she remembered Moody, or who she thought had been Moody. The ironic thing was she had actually quite liked the man, and then he had turned out to be an imposter.

Placing her hand on the doorknob leading into the staff room, she sighed and squared her slim shoulders. She did not feel like socialising today. She opened the door. Her eyes fixed on Severus the moment she entered the room. He was standing only a few feet from the door with Dumbledore and two women she didn't know. His black eyes swept over her once briefly before he turned away. Aeryn bristled. That was a dismissal if she ever saw one. _Fine_, she thought, _I can play at that game too_. She walked straight past them to get a strong cup of coffee from the table, before joining Minerva, Pomona, and Filius who were chatting about their holidays.

"Aeryn, it's lovely to see you again, dear. Did you have a relaxing summer?" Minerva McGonagall asked. Aeryn smiled weakly. _Sure, I'm having nightmares nearly every night and hardly getting any sleep, but other than that, I'm just peachy._ "Yes, very relaxing," she said. "I hope you did as well?" Minerva nodded, and looked closer at the young woman. She seemed...somehow flat. She did not wish to pry into Aeryn's private life, however, so merely answered Aeryn's polite enquiry with a description of her travels to Scotland.

Aeryn tried to get involved with the conversation, and pointedly ignore the black figure across the room from her. It was hard, however, and she felt his presence like he was a black hole, drawing her to him. She inadvertently glanced over at him once, and with a small frown, finally registered who he was with. Dumbledore noticed that Aeryn's gaze was levelled in their direction, and motioned her over. Aeryn did not want to join their little group of four, but she could hardly pretend she hadn't seen Albus. She bit her lip slightly to stop it from trembling, forced a smile onto her face and walked over to them, conscious of her arms swinging at her sides. She suddenly felt gauche, as if she was a teenager again.

She reached the group and glanced quickly at Severus. His face was impassive, but he nodded once in her direction as if to privilege her with his notice. He did not say a word, and glanced away almost immediately. Aeryn gritted her teeth and ignored him. Turning to Albus, she said, "Headmaster. I hope you had a pleasant summer?"

"Aeryn, my dear, how lovely to see you again. Thank you, I had an excellent time visiting friends in Alaska. Sledding is my new favourite past-time, providing I have enough woollen socks to be comfortable." He gestured to the other members of the group. "I have the pleasure of introducing you to two of your new co-workers this year." He smiled towards the woman who was, in Aeryn's opinion, standing much too close to Severus. Aeryn nearly groaned in misery when she focused on the woman, jealousy ripping an unexpected path through her carefully constructed smile.

"This is Gwyneth Gillies, here to be the music teacher," Albus introduced the woman.

She was _beautiful_. There was no other word for it. Her long hair was a deep auburn, and her emerald green eyes glowed in a flawless face. Aeryn felt ungraceful and childish next to her. Upon hearing Aeryn's name, Gwyneth smiled, and showed a row of perfectly white, even teeth. "How lovely to meet you," she smiled. Even her voice was compelling. She placed a hand familiarly on Severus's arm, and Aeryn snapped her mouth shut. "Severus has just been telling me about all the teachers here, but he neglected to mention you. I'm sure he was getting to it, though." She smiled at Aeryn once more. _Severus_? They were already on a first name basis? It had taken her _weeks_ to call him by his first name, and she knew he preferred to be addressed as 'Professor'.

Albus continued, and indicated the short, stumpy woman next to him. "This is Dolores Umbridge. She will be taking the post of Defence Against the Dark Arts this year. I'm sure you will make her feel welcome? Dolores, this is Aeryn Allen, our student counsellor and studies advisor."

The stumpy woman had a sickly sweet smile on her ugly little face. "Erin, is it? Lovely to meet you, I'm sure. Forgive me, Headmaster, but it _sounds _as though by hiring a studies advisor, your other profossors are struggling with the student load this year." She gave a little girly laugh. "Certainly there should be no occasion even for a therapist?"

Aeryn didn't hear a word that was said in response. She was too busy watching, without appearing to watch, Severus and this...this _harpy_, talking together like old friends. Maybe they were old friends. Maybe this was the woman who had more worth than Aeryn, whose _integrity was without question_...

With a clenching feeling in her gut, Aeryn realised that was exactly who she was.

Aeryn didn't remember excusing herself from the group, but she found herself leaning weakly against the corridor wall up the hall from the staffroom, staring blankly at the stone walls, for some time.

A light step and a floral scent behind her announced the presence of Minerva. "Aeryn?"

Aeryn dragged her eyes from the walls and turned to face her. She fixed a smile on her face. "I'm so sorry, Minerva. Er...the heat, you know. Needed some...fresh air," she said weakly.

Minerva's face registered sympathy, and she placed a warm hand on Aeryn's arm in support. "My dear, if you ever need to talk, you know where I am."

"Thank you, Minerva. That's very kind. But I'm fine," Aeryn said with false brightness.

* * *

Inside the staffroom, Severus grimaced in response to whatever comment Gwyneth had just made, and hoped it would suffice for an answer. His mind was preoccupied with the girl who had just left the room. When she had entered the staffroom, he had looked at her face and felt the air constrict in his lungs. She was still affecting him, he thought sourly. He thought the passage of so many weeks with no contact would have cured him, at least to some extent, of the spell she had cast over him.

And when she had joined their group, he had again been struck forcibly by her presence, her smell, the warmth emanating from her, and the ache in his chest worsened. Never in his life had he been so affected by one person, and never in his life was he more determined that nothing should come of it. He wondered, for the hundredth time, what that letter had been about. She certainly wasn't about to talk to him, now, after he had successfully dismissed her, without words, to her face. But he couldn't help wondering.

Bringing his mind back into focus, he realised the Headmaster had been speaking to him, and that the dumpy woman was no longer standing with them. "I'm sorry, Headmaster, did you speak?"

Albus smiled slightly, and said "I was inquiring of both you and Gwyneth, how long you have known each other?"

Placing a slender, well manicured hand on Severus's chest, she replied "oh, we haven't really known each other for very long, but it seems as if it's been years. We get on so well." Gwyneth blasted the old man with a winning smile.

"Charming," Albus responded. "I'm sure you will tell me the story of how you both met?"

Severus interrupted them. "Another time perhaps, Headmaster. I realise however I still have some...things...to finalise before the students arrive. Please excuse me." And disengaging himself from the red headed woman, he briskly left the room.

Upon closing the door behind him, he glanced up the hall and was surprised to see Minerva with the very witch he was desperate to forget. His narrowed eyes observed Minerva place a comforting hand on Aeryn's arm, before she turned and left the blonde woman alone. At that moment, Aeryn's black eyes locked onto his own, and after a brief moment of registered surprise, she gave him a dirty look and walked away. His lips quirked slightly. She was always so hot-headed.

He deliberately strode in the opposite direction without a backwards glance.


	9. Chapter 9: Nightmares

CHAPTER 9

It was pitch black. Not a single speck of light could be seen, and the air was close, warm, and barely breathable. The first traces of panic nipped at Aeryn's self control, but somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew this was a dream, and to give in to that fear would serve no purpose. This wasn't real. At least, Aeryn tried to comfort herself with that fact.

A slight illumination suddenly flickered to her left. Her eyes were drawn to it, but she was wary of what the light might mean. Without appearing to move, however, the light began to come closer to her. Steeling herself, she waited for something to happen when it was overhead, but nothing did. She now stood in the circle of light, while the silence around her remained heavy.

"This resembles your life, I trust you realise," a quiet voice said from behind her. Aeryn spun around, and came face to face with the hairless, snake-like face of Lord Voldemort. He had never actively spoken to her before; he had always simply watched. Aeryn tried to steady her breathing. "What do you mean?" she said in an unsteady voice.

Walking slowly past her, he gestured to the surroundings, or lack thereof. "This small, featureless world. No colour, or life." He turned to face her. "I can change that for you."

She could not take her eyes from his terrifying face. He continued. "You can have so much more, if you simply reach out your hand and grasp it. I can give you everything." He paused, and looked her full in the face. "If..."

"If what?"

"If you join me. Willingly."

Aeryn tried to affect a brave face. "Of course I would never do that." Almost as soon as the words were out of her mouth, an excruciating pain scorched through her body, and for a second she couldn't breathe with the pain of it. She reacted immediately, and with her will tried to push him away, out of the dream.

Nothing happened.

The pain continued until she fell to the gray floor, writhing, and the awful knowledge that she couldn't stop it consumed her. She could feel herself struggling to wake. In her mind, she heard his words. "_Know that you are defenceless against me. There is no power you can use to vanquish my will. You will either bend to it, or I will break you_."

A small cry was torn from her lips as she woke up. Still breathing heavily, eyes wide in the darkness, she tried to reassert herself with her surroundings. "Lumos," she choked out, and her wand tip, on the bedside next to her, gave out a dull light. Roughly pushing the covers off her, she grabbed her wand. She waved it in the direction of the candles, all held in sconces on the walls, and they ignited to their brightest at her silent command, illuminating every corner of the room. She looked around quickly, and assured herself there was no one else in the room with her.

Slowly, very slowly, she sat back down on the edge of the bed. Raising a hand to her trembling mouth, she tried to control the tremors that still shook her every now and then. Shutting her eyes, she remembered the excruciating pain that had radiated through her entire body. And what was worse, she had had no ability to stop it. Her eyes once again snapped open as she remembered what he had offered her. She had known that if anyone found out about her, they would try to use her, but to be in the sights of Lord Voldemort was even worse than she had imagined.

The worst part was the helplessness. No matter how hard she tried, she hadn't been able to stop him from hurting her. Rubbing her arms, she shook her head. Aeryn couldn't understand it. She had felt no such fear the first time she met him, that night in the graveyard. Why should he stop her power now? The last dregs of sleep were swept from her mind as she focused on a candle close to her. Concentrating, she tried to will it to extinguish. Normally such a simple task, one that even most wizards and witches could accomplish. The flame flickered slightly, and then was still, as bright as ever. "Ugh!" Aeryn snarled to the darkness.

Arising from the bed she began to pace the length of the room. Someone had informed Lord Voldemort about her presence at Hogwarts. He had said to her, that night in the graveyard, that his _faithful servant_, whoever that might be, had divulged that information to him. For one heart stopping moment her mind rested on Severus, on the tattoo on his arm and what it meant. Then the realisation came that the false Moody had known what she was, and therefore Barty Crouch Junior - who was in fact a convicted Death Eater, had obviously provided the information. As unsure of his loyalties as she was, Aeryn still wouldn't – couldn't - believe Severus would betray her.

She glanced at the clock, realising it was only just after 2am. She sighed. There was no way she could get back to sleep now. And the walls around her felt close, reminding her uncomfortably of the nightmare. She shrugged a dark red dressing robe over the overlarge and well worn grey singlet top she wore to bed, and deliberately strode from the room.

It was colder out in the corridors. Winter would be upon them soon, and with it Christmas and the New Year. Her bare feet cringed from the cold stone floors, but she didn't want to go back to the warmth of her room, it felt too much like a cage at the moment. Everything was reminding her of the dream; she didn't seem to be able to escape it. The stone floors she traversed absently looked like the same floor she thrashed about on while the Dark Lord tormented her. The moonlight filtering through a glass window felt almost the same as the light that had illuminated the entire nightmare.

So involved she was in her thoughts she didn't realise someone else was walking along the corridor her way until she was almost upon him. Stifling a shriek as he suddenly seemed to appear out the darkness, she realised who it was, and squelched the absurd feeling of excitement at seeing his face. "Severus! What on earth are you doing out here now? You scared me half to death!"

"Forgive me, Professor Allen, I didn't intentionally mean to startle you." He drawled quietly. Severus looked implacably at her, noting her dressing gown, with her toes peeping out from beneath the hem, as she rolled her eyes. "For God's sake, Severus, don't start on the 'Professor Allen' thing again. My. Name. Is. _Aeryn_."

A slight pause accompanied these words. "Of course," he replied slowly. Aeryn crossed her arms. If that bloody Gwyneth Gillies was calling him by his first name, and if he was obviously so very familiar with her as well, Aeryn wanted to at least keep the point of being on a first name basis with the Potions Master.

Aeryn noticed now that he was still fully dressed and looking immaculate as always, and blushed slightly in the darkness at her own rumpled state. "You look like you haven't gone to bed yet," she said to him. He raised his eyebrows and, briefly indicating her dishevelled hair, said "and you look like you just woke up. Trouble sleeping, perhaps?"

Aeryn affected a small smile. "No. Just...out for a stroll. It's such a pleasant night, don't you think?" He raised his eyebrows once again as he noticed she was now shivering.

"Exquisite." he replied shortly. He looked as if he was about to continue down the hall, and Aeryn, already dreading seeing his back once more, as she had so often of late, began to babble. "I suppose you're patrolling the corridors for students out of bed? Do you really think that's a practical use of your time? I'm sure Dolores would have something to say about it. Argus can handle that. You could be spending your valuable time brewing up all sorts of things...like a Draught of Living Death or whatever." She gave a nervous giggle. He looked shrewdly at her.

"And why would you be interested in such a powerful potion?"

She looked at him with wide eyes. "No particular reason. I um... just know that in the right quantities it promotes a dreamless sleep." If she could get her hands on some.

"If taken _very_ rarely. It can also become the Draught of _actual_ Death if taken improperly."

She laughed tensely once more. "I just picked that one out of thin air, Severus, you know, to keep the conversation moving." Her face became more sombre. "I think I'll shut up now, though." She gave him a weak smile. "I can see you'd rather be elsewhere."

He looked as though he wasn't quite sure what to make of her at the moment, and in the end nodded tersely. "As you said, my time is valuable. I don't really have time to talk right now." He nodded once in her direction and made to leave.

"We never talk anymore," she said sadly. The quietness of her voice made him turn back to once again look at her face. Her eyes were downcast, and her arms were wrapped around her middle. "Aeryn-"

"You're right. It is cold," she interrupted quietly, still not looking at him. She shivered once again. "I think I'll keep walking. Goodnight."

Severus watched her retreating form. The part of him he kept so ruthlessly under control was trying to break free again. Her presence always did that. In any other person, he despised weakness, or strong feelings, but her vulnerability did not drive him away as it should. For a moment he indulged in the thought of wrapping her small body in his arms and cloak to help warm her. Pinching the top of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, he sighed and grimaced.

"Wait," he called, a little irritably. She turned and looked at him inquiringly, her long hair framing her face and body down to her waist. He loved her hair, and it was very rarely hanging free as it was now. "I may be patrolling the corridors for students, but you should also be in bed. May I see you back to your room?"

Aeryn bit back the smile that tried to burst free at his words. It would not do to get excited over every rendezvous she shared with this man. She had to remind herself of what he really thought of her. She hesitated before replying, knowing that she should avoid him as much as possible. She needed to be smart and get over this insane attraction she had for him; the sooner the better.

Unfortunately, what was smart conflicted with what she wanted. "How chivalrous," she murmured. "I'd like that."

Severus lit his wand tip to light the way. The stone floors didn't look as unfriendly now as they did a few minutes ago, and the moonlight seemed somehow softer. They walked a couple feet apart, not talking, but both completely aware of the other.

Upon reaching the door leading to her bedroom, Aeryn paused. "Severus," she began, and stopped. He looked at her questioningly, but didn't speak. She took a deep breath. Placing a cold hand on the back of his she looked into his black eyes. "Severus, I know you have...reservations about...what I am," she stopped again and swallowed. "But I'd like for us to be friends, as I think we once were. I mean," she blushed, thinking of the kiss they shared in her office, and not wanting him to get the wrong idea, "acquaintances. We work together every day, and see each other all the time. There's no real reason why we shouldn't get along. But if you would rather we didn't speak, then...that's fine. We don't have to get along to work together. I just - I just hate the way we don't talk anymore." She finished her little speech, dropping her hand.

She wasn't sure why she had even spoken. She was going to emulate Severus and be indifferent, say 'goodnight,' and leave him, and they would go on not talking like before. But at that thought she had felt such despair. Her words had been true – she hated the fact that they didn't talk anymore, or even acknowledge the other when they were in the same room. How could she be indifferent when the feelings she had for him became stronger every time he was around her? As much as she would rather they were even closer than friends, she was willing to take some measure of affection from him, even if it was only platonic. Even if she could never compete with someone as beautiful as Gwyneth.

Severus, on the other hand, was having the same struggle within himself, as he had almost since he had met this woman. To do what was right – to ignore Aeryn, and in doing so, maybe save both his life and hers from the notice of Lord Voldemort - or to do what he wanted, but what was wrong – to be in her presence without harsh words, to be close to her. To be more than acquaintances.

His brow furrowed. Maybe...maybe he could do what she suggested, to just be cordial. To be _friends_ as she so sweetly put it. There didn't have to be this hatred between them. In doing that, he could satisfy himself that he wasn't putting her in unnecessary danger, and he could still be around her. He must remain vigilant, however, that he never allow it develop into anything more.

He hadn't spoken for several moments. Aeryn's hope faded at his lack of response. "I see," she mumbled. "Well, goodnight then," and turning, she opened the door to her room. As she entered the room, a hand on her upper arm halted her retreat. Turning back, she looked into Severus's face, and in the dim light, his eyes seemed to burn. "I would like...for us to be friends," he said, very quietly. "Goodnight, Aeryn." And looking as though he wasn't sure if he was satisfied with his own response, Severus left her standing in the doorway, her arm burning where he had touched her.


	10. Chapter 10: Snow

Argh! Sorry it's taking me so long to update! Not enough hours in the day I'm afraid...

R & R! :)

* * *

CHAPTER 10

Unfortunately, the nightmares continued. And they were growing worse. They didn't occur every night, just often enough to make going to sleep a nervous occupation to indulge in, and Aeryn began to suffer with sleeplessness. She grew short tempered and irritable with everybody, even Minerva. And what was worse, that awful Umbridge woman was inspecting staff under the order of the Ministry.

Aeryn had received a note from Dolores informing her that she would be under scrutiny at her next counselling session. Aeryn politely but firmly wrote back that it would be morally and ethically wrong as a counsellor to blatantly ignore the confidentiality agreement that was part of any relationship between counsellor and counselled. That was over a week ago, the same day she had seen Severus last.

Looking back on her chance encounter with him, Aeryn wasn't sure why she hadn't told him about the nightmare. In the end though, she realised it was pride more than anything else. She had tried to ask for his help once, in a letter, and he hadn't bothered to answer. Granted, she hadn't actually told him what was wrong, but she was still miffed that he hadn't responded. "I'm not going to beg for his help," she muttered.

"Did you say something, Professor?"

Aeryn looked up quickly to see a student standing in her office doorway. A young boy was standing there hesitantly, like he wasn't sure if he was interrupting something. "Oh – no, Dennis. I'm just talking to myself. What can I do for you?" Dennis walked quickly to her desk, carrying a small roll of paper neatly tied with a pink ribbon. Aeryn's eyes narrowed. She knew who that was from. "Thank you, Dennis, this won't require a response. You may leave" she said to the messenger, and on his exit, proceeded to distastefully untie the ribbon and roll out the message.

_Erin,_

_I'm sorry to inform you that by opposing my wishes to observe one of your counselling sessions, you are, by extension, opposing the Ministry's wishes of monitoring the employees of this school. If you do not acquiesce and allow the High Inquisitor, that is to say, myself, to join you tomorrow at 1pm, as per my previous request, you will unfortunately be placed on probation for further review._

_Regards,_

_Dolores Jane Unbridge_

_Ministry High Inquisitor._

Seething, Aeryn roughly pushed the chair back and stood up. "Right. We'll see about that." She briskly left her office and went in search of her antagoniser.

After over two months at the school, the stupid woman _still_ couldn't spell her name right.

She tried Umbridge's office first, but the old hag wasn't there. She tried the staffroom next, and found her prey.

Dolores was sitting with Aeryn's next least favourite person. Gwyneth was just pouring Dolores a cup of tea, and they were chatting quite cheerfully. No one else was in the staff room.

Storming up the older woman, Aeryn all but slammed the parchment on the table next to Umbridge's tea, making it rattle. Dolores and Gwyneth looked up in surprise. "I believe I made myself _quite clear_ regarding your request to invade one of my counselling sessions," Aeryn said to the Ministry worker in a tightly controlled voice. "If, however, I am mistaken, I would be happy to provide you with a copy of the Confidentiality Agreement stating those reasons in black and white."

Umbridge's eyes widened slightly before her wide mouth curved into a large smile. She opened her mouth to respond, but Gwyneth beat her to it.

"Really, Aeryn. There's no need for all your theatrics. Dolores is only doing her job. You have no right to take out your petty frustrations on her."

Aeryn looked at Gwyneth in surprise. The red-headed woman was sitting casually in a large armchair, delicately holding a cup of tea, every hair in place. The only thing that marred her perfect face was an expression of disdain. Aeryn realised she hated this woman, even though she barely knew her. "Excuse me, _Gwyneth_, but I believe this has absolutely nothing to do with you. I'd appreciate it if you kept your opinions to yourself."

"How can I keep my opinions to myself when you are acting like a spoilt child?"

"Easy. I can get some Permanent Sticking Solution for your mouth."

"_Hem hem_." Dolores gave a tiny cough, interrupting Aeryn's snide comments. "Excuse me, dear, but don't you think I know just a _teensy_ bit more about the Confidentiality Agreement than you do? It was, after all, written and signed by the Ministry of Magic."

"And in what part, _exactly_, does it state that you are allowed to interfere in my work?" Aeryn sputtered.

Dolores gave a little titter. "It doesn't, of course, but the Agreement was nullified when the Minister gave me full authority to inspect Hogwarts and _all_ of its teachers. Therefore, your Confidentiality Agreement doesn't apply to this situation." Dolores gave a wide smile. Aeryn was struck forcibly by how much she resembled a frog. No, frogs weren't this bad. She was a _toad_.

"That's absolutely ridiculous -"

"Is there a problem here?" Dumbledore stood in the doorway. Looking at the angry faces in the staffroom he said quietly, "Forgive me for interrupting, but I was suddenly struck with a desire for some tea and biscuits. Minerva was kind enough to join me," he said, indicating the woman standing just behind him.

Aeryn wasted no time. "Excuse me, Headmaster, this woman believes she has the right to sit in on one of my counselling sessions with one of my students. The Confidentiality Agreement expressly states that - "

"Thank you, Professor Allen, I am aware of the Agreement and its contents. I might add," he said, looking at Dolores over the top of his spectacles, "that I am also fully immersed in Ministry Laws, having written quite a few of them myself." He walked into the room, taking a seat in a squashy armchair and, with a flick of his wand, pouring himself and Minerva a cup of tea.

Everyone watched him in silence while he served tea, and not until that was completed did Dumbledore look gravely at the High Inquisitor. "Professor Umbridge, Professor Allen here is, regrettably for yourself, quite justified in refusing you entry to observe her counselling meetings with the students here, unless the student explicitly gives their consent. You are, however, legally allowed to be present during an _advisory_ session for study purposes." He paused, and looked seriously at both of them. "I trust this will resolve the matter."

Dolores tittered once more. "Of course Headmaster, I'm so glad we've resolved this issue. I will be speaking to Cornelius, I mean, the _Minister_ about this however. I'm sure he will want to know you are _looking after your teachers_. " She gave a wide smile and left the room.

Aeryn's eyelids suddenly weighed about a tonne, and a strong headache was in the making. All she wanted to do was curl up in a chair and sleep for the rest of the afternoon. A hand on her arm and a strong scent of coffee brought her attention to Minerva, who held the beverage in her hand for the younger woman to take. Aeryn smiled her thanks, but her attention was soon brought to Gwyneth, who proceeded to give her opinion on the entire matter.

"Really, Headmaster, is there need for such a fuss? All of the teachers here must subject themselves to inspection, including myself. It seems ridiculous that one teacher gets exemption. Wouldn't you agree, Severus?" They all looked up as the potions master had entered the room silently. Aeryn had no idea how long he'd been standing there.

At Gwyneth's inquiry he simply said "You know my views on this subject, Gwyneth", and proceeded to pour himself a cup of black tea.

"You seem quite cozy with Dolores lately, Gwyneth. And I don't seem to remember your music lessons being interrupted by her," Minerva said waspishly.

"You're quite mistaken, Minerva." Gwyneth snapped, and that was all she was apparently going to say on the subject, but whether it was in response to her relationship with the Ministry worker, or to the comment of being inspected was anyone's guess. Turning from Minerva, Gwyneth flicked her long hair back over a shoulder and addressed the tall, black haired man. "Severus, it really is quite stuffy in here. Let's go for that stroll you promised me," she said with a dazzling smile.

He looked at her for a moment, but her smile remained fixed in place. "Of course, if you wish," he said expressionlessly.

Watching them go, Aeryn seethed inside with jealousy. She desperately wanted to know if they were an 'item'. They had been spending an inordinate amount of time together outside of school hours, Aeryn knew that much. Severus _seemed_ to treat Gwyneth no different to anyone else, except maybe the familiar use of her first name. It was just the casual way Gwyneth spoke to him, or the possessive way her hand strayed to his arm as they left, that made Aeryn wish she were in the older woman's shoes.

* * *

"Ten points from Ravenclaw, you three, for being out of bed! Ten points _each_," Severus snapped with vindictive pleasure, then watched as the three girls scuttled back to their dormitory. It was probably around 2am when Severus had caught a couple of Gryffindor sixth years from sneaking into the kitchen. Then, not ten minutes later, he had found three Ravenclaw second years doing the same.

How he hated this job, some days. Some nights in particular. He never slept much anyway, but it would be nice to patrol the corridors in silence and solidarity without happening upon a student out of bed. It did, however, give him a great satisfaction to punish any rule breakers. They had to learn.

Deciding he needed at least a few hours sleep before the next day, he turned up the hallway that would eventually lead to his room. His nose wrinkled slightly as he scowled. He was to supervise the student's trip to Hogsmeade. He hated snow, and would now be spending all day in it. He glanced out of the window and scowled more as he saw the small snowstorm outside that would definitely make tomorrow morning more unpleasant.

Upon looking down to the grounds, however, he was shocked to see a small figure trudging through the snow along the frozen lake. Whoever it was had their hood up, and he couldn't make out any discerning features. Either it was another student out of bed - probably that Potter boy - or worse, it was an intruder. Either one was cause for him to walk quickly out of the castle to apprehend them.

The wind was all but howling, giving his cloak a life of its own. For a moment he couldn't see through the white haze which engulfed him, but soon saw a black smudge about 100 meters ahead, working its way around the lake, and away from the castle. His brow furrowed. What the hell was someone doing walking around a frozen lake on a frozen night at nearly 3am?

Coming up behind them, Severus drew his wand. He had no need to be stealthy; the wind muffled his approaching footsteps. He grasped a shoulder and swiftly whirled the figure around to face him.

He heard a screech and felt a crashing blow to the side of his head. For a second he was stunned, then brought his wand up, pointed it at the person and prepared to disable them. Recognition, however, dawned on him. "Aeryn! What the hell are you doing out here?" he yelled. Childishly, she gave him a shove and yelled back "Me? What the hell am I doing here? What the hell are you doing here? Why the hell did you have to scare me like that?"

"Obviously I thought you were a student! Or an intruder!"

"Well, obviously I'm not, so you can just go back inside!" She cried. Severus peered closer at her. She seemed wired up, jumpy. It was hard to tell in the dim light from his wand that was now lit, but she also appeared to have been crying. Perhaps it was the cold making her nose red and her cheeks flushed. She looked away from him impatiently and pulled the hood of her cloak back up. It had come off when he ambushed her, and her hair was flying chaotically around in the wind. His own long black hair was becoming a nuisance.

"Will you tell me why you're out here?" he asked, this time more patiently.

Before he'd even finished the sentence she interrupted. "No! It's none of your business why I'm out here! Maybe I just like to walk at night! Maybe I just couldn't sleep!"

"Unfortunately, Miss Allen, the security of this school is paramount in my job description. If you were ignoring the restrictions placed on the inhabitants of this school, I would of course have to report you to the Headmaster." He raised an eyebrow at her mutinous look. At her continued silence, a thought struck him. "You once asked me about the Draught of Living Death. Are you trying to acquire some?"

Aeryn scoffed. "Don't be dense. There's nothing wrong. I'm just walking. And I'd appreciate it if you just left me alone."

Severus took a step closer to her and scrutinized her features, and she looked away. He forced her to look at him by seizing her jaw in his fingers and bringing her face up. She looked up at him mutinously. Bringing his wand up higher, he could see now that she _had_ been crying. And she looked exhausted. There were dark shadows under her eyes, and her red eyes had a slightly glazed look as if she was trying to stay awake. Concern furrowed his brow slightly. Noticing this, Aeryn looked away, jerking her face from his grasp. "Don't! I'm fine, really. You're right, I just haven't been sleeping well. I'm sorry I got angry at you. And I'm sorry I hit you by mistake."

"Will you please come inside?"

The almost gentle way he had asked made Aeryn hesitate slightly, and finally give in. "Fine," she muttered.

As they turned to enter the castle, Severus was aware that Aeryn was shivering with cold next to him, and that warmth was a priority. He hardly even realised that it was to his rooms that he was taking her, but at least he knew there was a roaring fire waiting for them.

Closing the door behind them, he indicated the couch situated in front of the fire. "Sit." He commanded, taking a seat in the armchair close by. Aeryn all but collapsed on the couch. Severus came back with a glass containing an amber liquid. He held it out to her. "Drink this," he instructed. Aeryn looked dubious.

"What is it?"

"Something to help warm you. I want you to drink all of it, then tell me why you were acting the fool outside tonight."

Aeryn took a large swallow then nearly choked as the brandy seared a path to her stomach. She coughed, drew a choked breath, coughed some more, and glared at Severus. "You knew it would do that," she gasped.

He raised an eyebrow and looked at her sardonically. "I didn't think you'd be foolish enough to try and drink the entire thing in one go. Now, answer my question. Why were you outside tonight?"

Aeryn tried an experimental sip, mainly to give herself time. The brandy was warming her now, all the way down to her toes. She had never really liked alcohol, and she didn't like what it made some people do when they had too much.

Like she had once before, she hesitated in telling Severus specifics about her nightmares. Saying it out loud would make them seem more real, more terrifying.

"I didn't want to go back to sleep. I've been...having these nightmares."

"What about?"

She tossed her head irritably. "Nothing of consequence."

"Perhaps if you talked about them – I mean, to someone _else_, like Minerva - "

"There's nothing to talk about. I'm dealing with them on my own. Exercise seems to help," she conceded grudgingly, "which is why I was out walking tonight. Getting myself exhausted seems to help."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Well aren't we a little trooper?" he said sarcastically.

To save any reply, Aeryn finished her drink. Placing it on the table, she curled her feet under her on the couch and leaned back, getting comfortable. "What were you doing out tonight? Not patrolling again, were you? Don't you sleep?"

"Like I said before, the safety of this school is what's important to me."

"Who would be stupid enough to break into Hogwarts?"

"It's happened before."

Aeryn almost rolled her eyes. "Sirius Black doesn't count." She yawned. "Tell me about yourself, Sev."

He looked so nonplussed at the change of subject she nearly laughed. "We're _friends_, right? Can't a friend enquire as to the life of another friend?" _Tell me if you're dating Gwyneth oh-so-perfect Gilles._

He looked somewhat annoyed. "There's nothing to tell."

Aeryn smiled sleepily. "What of your family? Friends? Love life?" she added smoothly.

He seemed to struggle for words. "I have none."

Her face registered confusion. "What do you mean? No family? What of your parents?"

"They're both dead."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"And..." she desperately wanted to ask if there was someone in his life, but chickened out at the last moment. "And I bet with your pleasant manner you can charm death eaters and Order members with equal ease?" she quipped, then her grin fell. "Oh...that came out completely wrong. I'm so sorry." She laughed slightly. "I think your drink made me a little drunk."

She stretched out on the couch more fully, one arm behind her head, the other trailing to the floor. Severus's gaze was momentarily drawn to the fabric stretched tight across her chest.

Aeryn's gaze rested on the fire, watching the play of the flames over the wood...her eyes were so tired, if she could just rest them for a moment...

Severus tore his gaze from Aeryn's body guiltily to see if she had noticed, but all her saw were her closed eyelids. Surely she could fall asleep that fast. "Aeryn?" he asked. Nothing. Her breathing was slow and steady.

He looked at the clock on the mantelpiece. Nearly 4am. The day for him normally started from about now anyway, but he assumed she would require at least a couple hours of sleep, and moving her now to her own rooms up the hall would probably be a waste of time. The part of him he so ruthlessly kept forced down however wanted her presence in his room. He liked having her close. Breakfast was at 7am. He would allow her to stay where she was until then.

Selecting a book from the shelf, he situated himself back in the armchair near to the couch, preparing to immerse himself in _Life of an Aswang: the Vampire's Perspective on Witchcraft_, but instead of reading he found himself observing her. He watched her eyelids flicker as she dreamed, and watched her face closely for any signs that she was experiencing another of these nightmares. He was also consciously looking for any flaw that would allow him to finally extinguish this passion for her.

Her hair was loose, some of it hanging to the floor. Even now, months later, he remembered the texture of those silky lengths as he ran his fingers through her hair, that day in her office, and her warm mouth pressed feverishly to his own, her slight frame crushed against his body-

Rubbing his hands across his face, Severus put the book down. Glancing at the clock, he realised nearly an hour had passed in watching Aeryn sleep on the couch. _His_ couch, in _his_ room. Being in close proximity to her was not a good idea. Severus decided that now was a very good time to brew that batch of antidotes for Poppy.

As he walked past her sleeping form, he couldn't help but reach out and brush a strand of hair away from her face, and run his fingers gently across her lips.

Aeryn slept on peacefully as he left the room.


	11. Chapter 11: Alcohol

oooh, two chapters in two days...no wonder the house is a mess :)

revieeeeeeeeeeewwww!

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CHAPTER 11

Severus returned right on 7am, bringing a cup of coffee with him as he knew Aeryn drank the disgusting stuff in wagonloads, particularly in the mornings. He was hoping to have a quick shower before she awoke.

A short time later, Aeryn woke to the best smell in the world – freshly brewed coffee. Looking over she saw a steaming mug on the floor next to the couch. _Couch_? she thought, and then felt a warm rush as she remembered where she had spent the last few hours. _Too bad it wasn't the whole night. And in his bed_, she thought, and then blushed at the thought. Aeryn wasn't 'worldly' when it came to men. She'd had one experience with a Slytherin boy in Seventh year, decided the whole process was disgusting and painful and vowed never to do it again. But her mind strayed to Severus, and what it might be like being with him like that...

Sitting up, she stretched languorously and ran her fingers through her long pale blonde hair in an effort to comb some of the tangles from the wavy mass. A slight twinge in her wrist furrowed her brow in confusion, until she remembered striking Severus last night when he had accosted her. She had never thrown a punch in her life. She always had Sorcery as her first defence. And now _that _wasn't even working right.

Unnoticed by her, Severus had seen her wake up and now stood in the doorway leading to the bathroom, watching her as she took the cup of coffee and inhaled appreciatively. She presented a charming picture in the early morning light, her hair tangled and her face still flushed from sleep. He could handle waking up to that each morning. He scowled as his thoughts once again betrayed him.

A slight movement drew Aeryn's notice, and turning she saw Severus, obviously fresh from the shower, standing and watching her with a scowl on his features as he buttoned up the cuffs of his shirt. "Um, good morning. I think," she said, taking a sip of coffee but watching him cautiously. He wasn't fully dressed yet, his white shirt was buttoned but not tucked in, and his black overcoat was hanging on the end of his bed behind her.

"And here I thought you were a morning person," she continued brightly when he didn't respond.

"Good morning," Severus replied in his soft, gravelly voice. "Any more nightmares?" he inquired as he tucked in his shirt.

"Nope," Aeryn said with a wide smile. "Haven't slept that well in a while, even if it was only for a few hours. What time is it anyway?"

"About seven-thirty," he replied, shrugging into his black teacher's robes.

Aeryn took another long swig of coffee. "Well I better get back to my room for a shower before classes start. What do you have planned for today?"

"Chatty in the mornings, aren't you?"

Aeryn laughed. "Not usually. But I feel really good this morning. I can't imagine why," she said with another bright smile. _Because I slept in your room last night,_ she thought, and her smile became dazzling as she looked at the potions master. His hair was clean this morning, but still slightly damp and it didn't look like it had seen a good brush for a while.

"I have some errands to run before my first class. And I will need to ward these rooms when I go, so you will have to leave with me," he said, giving her the hint.

Aeryn finished her coffee and got up from the couch, placing the mug back on the floor where the house elves could clean up later. "Well, you can't go like that." She said matter-of-factly.

"Like what?"

"Well would you just _look_ at your hair, young man. Despicable," she huffed in a mock-mother's voice with her hands on her hips. She cast around for a brush, and not finding one, looking inquiringly at Severus. "Please tell me you keep at least _one_ brush or comb in this place."

Severus backed off. "Oh no. You aren't going to _groom_ me," he said with a wrinkled nose.

"Watch me," Aeryn said with a challenge in her voice, as she transfigured a book that was sitting on the chair next to her into a basic comb.

"I really have to go," Severus said, taking another step backward.

Aeryn pointed imperiously to the couch she had just vacated. "Sit," she commanded, in much the same tone as he had used with her last night.

Severus paused and contemplated her, testing her resolve. She raised one eyebrow at him as if daring him to run off, and in that look conveyed a multitude of unpleasantness if he tried it. Sighing, he took a seat on the couch, perched on the edge of the chair as if ready for flight. "Oh don't be such a baby," she said cheerfully, and plonked herself down next to him.

Aeryn began to gently brush his hair. It was thicker than it looked - not coarse, but not fine either. She worked the worst of the tangles out with her fingers, enjoying the touch of his hair against her hands. She felt almost wifey in completing such a domestic task, and found she enjoyed the feeling immensely. Her eyes grew soft at the thought, as she worked in silence. Severus smelled clean and fresh, and there was a hint of something spicy around him. She was a little paranoid that she hadn't had a shower this morning yet.

Severus had never had anyone brush his hair before. It was quite a nice feeling, and having Aeryn do it made the whole process even more pleasant. She sat so close to him. He could feel the warmth of her body and the occasional brush of her long hair on his hands. Knowing he was sitting where she had slept brought images of her sleeping to his mind, and he imagined her in the great big bed behind them. Thoughts such as these played havoc with his pulse as much as the gentle brush of her hands.

When she began to style his hair, however, he drew the line, and quickly stood up. "Oh no. That's enough. If I need the services of a hairdresser I shall call you, but I'm sure it's fine the way it is."

Aeryn stood up with him and he retreated to the wall next to the fire. "Oh wait, I'm nearly finished! Just hold still for a second!" she said irritably as she bore down on him with the comb. He grabbed her wrist to stop it from attacking him further and a wrestling match ensued. Severus won and gained possession of the comb.

Aeryn started to laugh, and for a moment Severus gazed, entranced, down into her smiling face as she laughed at him. She was so beautiful. He could almost imagine throwing away everything he had worked for to have something with her; she was an extraordinary girl.

"Will you look at us, this is ridiculous," she laughed. "Imagine Severus Snape, running from a brush. I think most people would believe that, actually."

His lips quirked, then his breath caught as she reached up and ran her fingers through his hair one last time. "There," she said, and looked at him with a soft expression in her eyes. "You're all beautiful now Professor, I think you should go to school now."

Severus cleared his throat, and wordlessly inclined his head. As they left the room he held the door open and indicated for her to precede him to the hallway.

Aeryn's face became sombre, but she spoiled the effect by giggling. "Good day Professor Snape," she said in a solemn voice that brimmed with laughter, and walked up the hallway. "Oh and Severus?" she stopped just as she was about to turn the corner. "I think you should bring some of that brandy around sometime. I'm sure it helped me sleep better. And thank you for the coffee."

Severus glanced back up the hall to make sure no one heard her. What would the staff say if they thought she had spent the night? "You're welcome, Professor Allen," he said formally, just two acquaintances again. "Good day." He and coloured slightly when her peals of laughter echoed down the hall.

* * *

Aeryn spent the day in high spirits. Although still very tired from many sleepless nights, her excitement at this new step with Severus had her practically bouncing off the walls. Minerva commented on her enthusiasm at afternoon tea in the staffroom, although well out of hearing of anyone else, and asked knowingly if there was something she would like to tell her. "Oh, no," Aeryn responded. "I just slept well last night is all," and she skipped from the room.

She hadn't even been thinking of her nightmares; she even went to bed early. That's why it was such a shock when she experienced the worse one of all that night.

At first she didn't know she was asleep. There was no light, and no sound, almost like her room when she'd extinguished the candles. In fact she had barely laid her head on the pillow when this new experience came into her awareness.

Then suddenly he was there, right in front of her, his red eyes piercing her through.

Aeryn gasped and tried to run the other way. She knew now she couldn't fight him in these dreams. But his smooth, hairless, grinning face was in front of her again. "You cannot run, my sweet," he said in his sibilant voice, as she backed up. "What the hell do you want from me?" she cried. She had asked this question more times than she could remember, and aside from the first time he had never answered, only tormented her with pain and confusion.

"You." He pointed one long fingered white hand at her.

Suddenly she was naked. She tried desperately to cover herself, and recoiled from the predatory look in his eye. His tall form descended on her and she backed up until her knees met an obstacle. She didn't dare turn to see what it was. The Dark Lord continued his advance and she fell backwards onto a large four poster bed. She looked around for a moment in confusion – there were now walls, and windows, even a door. She was in a room somewhere. But she only got a moment's glance before Voldemort laid himself full length along her cringing, bare body, still clothed. He was not heavy, but she couldn't shift him no matter how hard she struggled.

He grabbed a handful of her hair and wrenched on it to stop her from thrashing around. "I want you Aeryn," he hissed savagely into her ear. Aeryn began to scream. Her screams made a terrible harmony with the Dark Lord's laugh. "Soon," was all he said.  
And then she was alone, in her bed, in her room. And still screaming.

* * *

Severus rubbed his neck absently. After spending all day bent over particularly tedious essays from incompetent students, all he wanted to do was sleep, especially as he had not slept at all last night.

Giving it all up as a bad job, he made his way up the stairs to his room. He didn't even remove his robes, just walked straight in and poured himself a large brandy.

He eyed the bottle as he sipped the glass of amber liquid, remembering Aeryn's reaction to the strong spirit. He was still amused by the memory. He also remembered her parting comment to him this morning when she left his room.

_I think you should bring some of that brandy around sometime. I'm sure it helped me sleep better_.

Ah, but he was tempted. He sat there, sipping and contemplating, for a long while. For and against, should he go? No, he shouldn't be so stupid as to be alone in her room with alcohol involved. Did he want to go? Oh, yes. Yes. But he knew his duty. And besides, it was very late, she was probably asleep. And he was sure she hadn't meant the _next day_.

He imagined her sleeping form on the couch this morning. He remembered just staring at her face for such a long time last night. Certainly one drink couldn't hurt? And she might be right, maybe the alcohol would help her sleep better, although he doubted it. Or he could just stop by to give her another bottle as a gift, but not stay. Yes, that was it. _Out for a late stroll, thought I'd drop this off to you and leave_, he thought logically.

It didn't take him long to leave the room, and head up the hall towards her rooms.

Halfway there he stopped. _What are you doing? You're putting yourself in a predicament. Even you might not have enough self control to contain your feelings_.

But that argument only applied if she was interested. And that couldn't be possible. No woman was interested in him like that.

So with that conviction in mind he made his way around the corner and stood outside her door. He looked up and down the hall for any unexpected witnesses. No one was around, everyone was asleep. He scowled. Even Aeryn was probably asleep. He should just get a house elf to drop the brandy off. He shook his head and turned to leave.

A slight tinkling sound brought his head around to face the door. It was the sound of shattering glass, however quiet it had been. He knocked on the door briskly. No answer. "Aeryn?" he called, and knocked again. Still no answer. His hackles raised, Severus knew there was something wrong.

"Alohomora!" he rasped, and the door sprang open. There was no one inside. He walked inside cautiously, placing the brandy bottle silently on a desk in the entrance way. The candles were all lit, nothing was disturbed, and nothing was there to account for the broken glass. "Homenum revelio," he muttered.

A small spark of light grew from the point of his wand, disengaged from it, then floated quickly through the room, and then through the wooded door to the bathroom. Severus hastened after it, quickly opened the door, and saw the light just as it extinguished itself in a bathtub full of bubbles. Severus hesitated, his wand still drawn. If Aeryn was in the bath then she wouldn't want him to find her like this...on the other hand there was no movement coming from the tub.

As if to contradict his words a few bubbles gurgled to the surface. Still no movement. "Aeryn?" he called again, this time hesitantly.

Then he saw the broken glass on the floor next to the bath. "Aeryn! Answer me!" he cried with more urgency. Dropping his wand, he ran and knelt next to the bath tub. Reaching in, he found an arm and a shoulder, and jerked both upwards from the water.

Aeryn's eyes were closed, and she was limp. And not breathing.

"Oh, Christ!" he yelled. Pulling her from the bath, and completely drenching himself in water, he placed her gently on the wet tiles of the bathroom floor. "You're not breathing!" he cried. "Aeryn! You must wake up! Breathe!"

Searching frantically for his wand, he grasped it in a shaking hand. He needed to expel any water from her lungs. "Anapneo!"

A large amount of water poured from Aeryn's slack mouth, but she still didn't start breathing. Dropping his wand and tipping her head back, he sealed her mouth with his own and breathed into her. Her chest rose a little. He did this a few times, and was about to start pumping her chest when her eyelids fluttered, and she drew a choking, rasping breath, and began to cough.

Severus sat back on his heels, his head thrown back in relief. For a moment he thought he had lost her...

"Severus?" came a weak voice. He turned his attention back to the girl lying naked on the floor.

Pulling off his cloak, he draped it over her body. A wry smile came to his lips. Here she was, completely naked, and he hadn't even noticed.

Aeryn coughed a few more times. "Are you ok?" Severus asked gently, pushing Aeryn's wet hair back from her face.

"Yeah," she replied in a shaky voice. "What the hell happened?"

"You nearly drowned."

Aeryn looked at him blankly. "Well how did that happen?"

"I was hoping you could tell me."

"Nope. No idea." She seemed completely unperturbed at her near death experience. He looked at her in surprise as she sat up. "Was awful sweet of you to save my life though." She gazed at him with a slightly glazed expression. "What am I doing on the floor? And I'm all wet...and you're all wet...did we have a bath together, Sev?"

Again, Severus looked at her in surprise. Her speech was slightly slurred...then he looked at the broken glass on the floor. 'You've been drinking?" he asked scathingly, not entirely as a question.

"Pfft, I had like, a couple. I'm _not_ drunk," she said airily as she tried to rise. Severus stood up with her then promptly caught her as she fell over. And the cloak came off. "Whoops," she said, completely unabashed.

Severus let go for a second to retrieve the cloak. She might be unaffected by her own nakedness but _he_ most certainly was _not_. She wobbled slightly, then took a few steps towards the bedroom. "Think I'd like to sleep now," she mumbled.

Severus caught up to her and draped the cloak over her shoulders. "Fine, sleep. But you can explain to me what you were doing tonight." he bit out.

"Oh Sev, chill." _Chill_? he thought. Aeryn continued. "I was just following up on a theory."

"And what theory would that be?"

"The one I told you about...um...this morning. About slinking and dreeping. Er...drinking and sleeping."

"What?" he snapped, completely losing patience.

'You know...how I was having those bad dreams, and then you gave me that alcohol, which was kinda gross by the way, and I didn't dream last night. Although, maybe that was 'cause you were there, or something. Or maybe that loser took a night off from torturing me. Whatever," she mumbled as she fell on the bed, nearly missing it. Severus caught her as she rolled off the bed, picked her up, and placed her firmly in the middle, his cloak still wrapped around her. He had only understood about half of what she had said, but he gathered her theory was that she believed by drinking alcohol, her sleep wouldn't be troubled by nightmares.

What a stupid theory.

"Aeryn, what happens in these nightmares?" he asked cautiously, hoping she was still awake.

She grunted irritably. "Like you care."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he retorted.

She gave a great huff and rolled onto her stomach, exposing a great deal of limb in the process. "It _means_ that I already asked for your help on this subject _once_, Mr Oh-So-Fond-of-the-Dark-Arts, and you totally ignored me. I won't beg for your help, Severus." she said loftily.

He was about to retort that he had no idea what she was talking about, until his intelligent mind linked her statement to the letter she had sent to him months ago during Summer break. The dreams had been going on _that_ long?

"Aeryn, I think you should talk to Albus about these nightmares."

"Good_night_, Severus."

He stood looking at her for a while longer. Leaning over and brushing the wet hair from her face, he murmured, "You're going to have a terrible headache in the morning. I can concoct a potion for hangovers, _if_ you'd like. "

"Ugh, no I won't. Go _away_, I want to sleep."

Severus smiled wryly, and pulled the covers up to her shoulders. She was still rather wet, bundled in his wet cloak, but she could take that as punishment for her attitude to him, if she wasn't sick. Lucky for her, tomorrow was Saturday.

* * *

A knock on the door brought Severus from a very deep sleep. There was a very faint light in the window, but the sun wasn't up yet. Another knock on the door brought him scowling to the door. Yanking it open, he glared at the offender. "What?" he snapped.

Aeryn was standing in the doorway, in a red dressing gown, holding one hand to her head, with a scowl to match his own.

"Give me the damn potion."


	12. Chapter 12: Pain

CHAPTER 12

"Really, Severus, what's with you today? You haven't heard a word I've said all morning!"

Severus glanced up from his cauldron at a disgruntled Gwyneth and raised an eyebrow. "I assure you, I've heard everything you've told me about the Dark Lord. Suffice it to say, that I know more of his plans than you do. _If_ he wanted you to know about them, then he would have told you himself."

"But I can help. I can help him, and you. You know that's all I want to do. Plus, it means I get to show off," she said with an airy smile, as she created a searingly hot ball of blue fire over her hand with her wand. "Nobody has power like I do."

"Don't be so sure of that," Severus muttered.

Gwyneth whirled around to face him, the fire suddenly extinguished. "What? Can you honestly tell me that you know a witch with stronger powers than mine? A full-blooded _witch_, Severus? Not that black-haired hussy who comes and goes like she owns the Malfoy's place."

Severus glanced up, finally giving Gwyneth his attention. "What black-haired hussy?"

Gwyneth gave him a smug smile as she walked over to stand between him and the cauldron. "Oh. So _now_ I have your attention. Was it the word 'hussy' that finally got it? Because you know, I've been waiting for a chance to talk to you on a similar subject." She reached out and brushed the hair away from his temples, pressing close to him.

Severus jerked his head away from her slender fingers irritably. "_What_ black-haired hussy who comes and goes? Answer me."

Gwyneth lowered her eyelashes and walked slowly away from him, glancing over her shoulder at him coquettishly."Well I suppose you haven't met her, she's rarely ever there, and neither are you. Apparently she's off doing the Dark Lord's work or whatever. If I find out she's betrayed him though - "

"Enough Gwyneth. What is her name?"

Gwyneth looked at Severus with her wide green eyes. "Jahren, I think."

Severus continued to look at Gwyneth, but with eyes unseeing. He absently traced a finger around the line of his lips. "Are you sure?" he finally asked softly.

Gwyneth tossed her head and continued walking vaguely around the room. "To be honest, Severus, I don't really care, so I'm not really sure. The Dark Lord is interested in _Harry Potter_, and so therefore, I am as well." She paused and looked at him with a chiding smile. "You still haven't provided enough information on the boy, and the Dark Lord is growing quite vexed with you."

Severus sighed. "As I've said before, I don't need to explain myself to you. I answer to _him_, and him alone." The anger and disgust Severus felt by doing this job, and kept tightly controlled, threatened to break free. "You are becoming worse than a leech, following me everywhere, demanding I explain myself to you! I will do my job, and you had better stay out of my way."

Gwyneth walked quickly over to Severus, a look of concern on her beautiful, cold face. "Shh, it's alright darling. You know I only have your best interests at heart." She stroked his hair once again, and once again, Severus moved his head aside.

At his obvious rebuff her brows snapped together. "Enough of this. You have a meeting to go to. You can explain your actions to the Dark Lord in person. I however am having lunch with our illustrious headmaster. Hopefully I can do as good a job as you at charming him."

* * *

Severus returned some hours later from his meeting with the Dark Lord. He was rarely ever punished by Lord Voldemort, but when he was, those times made up for it. He wiped a brow slick with sweat with a shaking hand. This had been one of those times. The Dark Lord was more than simply 'vexed' with him for his recent failures to provide accurate information concerning Harry Potter, Dumbledore or the Order. One thing Severus knew, however, was that Umbridge was not working for Lord Voldemort. She, it seemed, was rotten inside all of her own accord.

Severus began to stumble up the stairs that ultimately led to his room. Walking straight past them, he headed in the direction of the Hospital Wing. He probably only had a short time to get there before he passed out. It wasn't very late, and the students were mostly in their dorms, but Severus didn't want to risk one of them seeing him. Having their vacant eyes staring at him was infuriating.

Unfortunately, coming up the corridor was the last person he wanted to see. Make that the second last person. Minerva McGonagall turned the corner and was walking towards him. She suddenly turned and called out behind her. "Really, Aeryn, you're a woman – multitask. Can't you walk, talk and read at the same time? You're lagging."

Severus's stomach dropped. The very last person he wanted to see right now came hurrying around the corner to catch up to the older woman, an open book in her hand. He couldn't hope that she wouldn't see him as she walked past.

"Good grief!" _Right on cue_, thought Severus, as Minerva shrieked upon seeing his rumpled, sweaty, unsteady state. Aeryn glanced up one second later, and Severus saw the look of horror on her face. Unfortunately, this was the moment his knees gave out. _Damn_, he thought. _Get up! Do not show weakness!_

Both women rushed to his side, the younger woman getting there first, the book having been dropped back in the hallway. Aeryn fell to her knees in front of him, supporting him with her body. She grasped his face in both hands and stared into his eyes. What he saw there made him almost glad to be hurting. She was truly concerned for him, her black eyes wide with fear.

Minerva came up quickly behind them. "Severus! My dear boy, are you all right? No, of course you aren't. Aeryn, stay with him. I will return with Poppy in a moment. Perhaps just take him to your rooms dear, they're closer than his. We will meet you there." And she was gone in a rush of tartan.

"I do not need two women fussing over me right now." He paused as a wave of pain engulfed him. "I assure you I will be perfectly all right in a while."

"God! What happened to you?" Aeryn cried as she pulled him to his feet. He grunted with the effort and nearly fell again, but Aeryn braced him once again with her body. She stumbled a little under his weight.

"Get off, I'm fine," he said irritably.

"Yes, of course you are. Now come with me," she said a trifle breathlessly as she practically dragged him to her door, one of his arms across her slender shoulders.

"It seems," she said, panting, "that we've been here before."

Severus's vision was beginning to blur, but he struggled to listen to her words. "What do you mean?" he mumbled.

"That time...in Hagrid's Hut, last year...ugh you're heavy...when the whatever-it-was - "

"Gerg," he muttered shortly, remembering.

"Yes, when the Gerg attacked you. I had to drag you into his house to fix you up, and you were all macho then, too." Aeryn had pushed open the door to her room, and dragged him towards the bed. Seeing where they were headed Severus tried to stop. "You can't put me there, I've got blood all over me."

Aeryn's eyes flew to his face. "Blood?" she cried. "God Sev, what did that bastard _do_ to you?" She looked almost for a moment like she was going to cry.

"I'm fine," he said automatically.

With one last heave she got him on her bed. He didn't have the strength to resist.

Roughly pulling off his boots, Aeryn checked his legs briefly for signs of injury, then checked his arms. Deciding that his clothes were in the way she opened his robes, and gasped at the amount of blood on his white shirt. Severus lay prone on the bed, not moving, and barely conscious. He didn't struggle when she tried to remove his shirt. He was too heavy though, and she had to give up, leaving it open and his bloodied torso very visible.

"Bellatrix likes to play," he said in his low voice, watching her face with heavy-lidded eyes.

Aeryn's brows lowered. "And you-" she stopped.

Severus blinked to clear the haze. "And I what? Let her? There are more of them then there are of me, and I was the Dark Lord's target tonight because I displeased him. He would never kill me though, unless I betrayed them. I'm too valuable."

Aeryn leaned over him and brushed his sweaty hair from his face. "I'm so sorry, Severus. I didn't mean it like that," she said softly.

Severus blacked out.

When he didn't respond to her gentle nudging to keep him conscious, Aeryn began to cry, more afraid for him than she had been for anyone in a long time. She sat there and held his limp, cold hand for an eternity. Where was Poppy? This man that she loved was dying before her eyes and there was nothing she could do about it.

The thought had entered her mind unbidden and stopped her cold. Loved? Surely not. An insane attraction, infatuation, maybe, but not love.

Aeryn began to cry harder when she realised the truth, and laid her head on his bloodied chest, comforted in hearing that his heart was still beating. "Oh Severus, please don't die on me," she sobbed.

Poppy, Minerva, and Albus burst into the room at that moment. Aeryn sat up quickly, wiping tears and the blood from her cheeks, and ran to them. "Poppy please hurry! I don't know how bad he is but - "

"Out of my way dear, I will tend him."

A trolley had followed Poppy Pomfrey into the room, full of vials of liquid and casks of powder. Poppy began busily mixing up a potion from the ingredients that were kept well stocked by the man lying before her. "Thank God for that," she muttered, and spooned a small amount of a black tarry liquid into Snape's mouth.

He gave a great lurch from the bed and began thrashing around, still apparently unconscious. Poppy passed her wand over his body once, twice, and on the third time he became still.

Aeryn gasped and moved quickly to the side of the bed. "He's not - " she began in a sick voice.

"No. He will need to rest for a few days, but he will recover. Aeryn," she said, turning to the younger woman with a stern expression on her face, "he must not move from this spot for at least twelve hours. Would you be able to enforce that or would you rather bunk with Minerva until then?"

Aeryn was still staring at the drawn face of the potions master. "No," she replied in a barely audible voice. "I'll sleep on the couch. I will watch him."

Poppy looked seriously at her. "Very well. If you need anything, or he needs more pain relief, send a Patronus my way and I'll tend to him."

Aeryn looked up at Poppy. "I can't conjure a Patronus," she said in a slightly embarrassed voice. "I...it was something I never got a handle on in school."

Albus interrupted. "And perfectly understandable my dear. It is a very complicated piece of magic. Aeryn, if you need any help, I want you to call Fawkes to you, and he will get the message to Poppy. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Headmaster."

Minerva came and gave Aeryn a brief, stiff hug. "If you need any help my dear, please ask me."

Aeryn looked thoughtfully at her friend. "Actually, Minerva, I need to talk to Albus really quickly. Can you..."

"Yes I will watch him for you until you return. And call you if there's any change," the older woman said kindly.

Albus looked over the top of his spectacles at each of the women in the room with him. "I trust that what happened here tonight will remain between the four of us?" he paused as they all nodded their assent. Albus smiled. "Excellent. I would not like this instance to be repeated to a certain Ministry worker at this school. Now, Aeryn, you had something you wished to speak to me about?"

* * *

Aeryn returned from her discussion with Albus about half an hour later. She felt a great weight lifted from her, but didn't feel she had explained herself well. Her thoughts had been dwelling continuously on Severus.

She found her room exactly as she had left it, with Minerva seated in a chair next to the bed; a cup of tea in her hands. She gave Aeryn a reassuring smile when she entered. "He seems to be resting easier now dear." She placed the empty cup on the bedside table and came over to Aeryn. "Are you sure you wouldn't prefer me to stay with you?"

Aeryn looked gratefully at Minerva and gave her hand a quick squeeze. "We'll be fine."

As the other woman left the room, Aeryn took the recently vacated seat next to the bed. It wasn't one that had been in the room before; obviously Minerva had conjured it on the spot. It was a chair so like the Transfiguration Professor – stiff and strong, simple but practical. Aeryn smiled slightly. Its hard contours would help her to stay awake. There was no way she was going to drift off and risk having her dreams invaded by Lord Voldemort. She wouldn't dare wake Severus with her cries, not when he needed to rest.

In the uneventful hours that passed, Aeryn Allen tried to recall exactly when she had fallen in love with Severus Snape. It was so unlike her. She liked men, true, but didn't go out of her way to form relationships. She had men that were friends, but turned away when they showed any interest. They all seemed too...pale in comparison to Severus. He was so strong and sure of himself. He put such passion into his potion making...what she wouldn't give for him to show her the same passion. She'd seen it, once, that day so many months ago when he'd kissed her in her office, but nothing since then. He had made his feelings abundantly clear; she was a woman of tainted blood and therefore inferior.

Aeryn snorted quietly. Apparently his superior didn't think so. Aeryn still wasn't sure what Lord Voldemort wanted, but she had an idea that it was more than simply joining his side. How was it that she could get the attention of one of the most dangerous men in the world, but could barely get this man lying on her bed to notice her?

And now, here she was in the worst predicament: completely and irrevocably in love with him. And it hadn't happened suddenly, she knew that now. Even when he was her professor she was sure there was something there, otherwise why had she been so upset when he had ridiculed her in class?

She stood up and began to walk absently in circles around her room. How can someone _not know_ they were in love the entire time?

A slight noise from her bed made her rush back to Severus's side, but he didn't move. He did look better – there was colour in his cheeks again, and his face looked less drawn. She began to pace around the room again. She realised she could see better – the sun was just starting to peep through the curtains. Poppy would be coming for Severus soon, and he still hadn't woken up. Aeryn wasn't sure if she was glad about that or not.

As if that thought had prompted it, a rough voice from her bed gained her full attention. "How long have I been asleep?"

Aeryn drew a quick breath and was quickly by Severus's side. "Hello," she said with a smile. "You've been here for nearly twelve hours. Poppy said not to move you, but she will be here to take you to the hospital wing shortly, I think."

Severus leaned up onto his elbows and looked around, slightly confused. "Twelve hours?" He looked back at the woman sitting next to him. "I'm sorry I inconvenienced you. I feel fine, I should be on my way now," and he swung his legs over the edge of the bed.

Aeryn placed her hands firmly on his broad shoulders. "Oh no. If you move, Poppy with have my hide. _Stay put_," she commanded.

Poppy chose that moment to check on her patient. She stopped as she entered the room and, seeing Aeryn practically restraining Severus, gave a long sigh. "You're going to be difficult about this, aren't you?" she asked with a long suffering look.

Severus looked sulkily at both women. "I feel fine. There is no need to make such a fuss."

Poppy came over and placed both hands lightly on his temples. She stared into his mutinous eyes for a few moments, then released him. "Hospital wing. But I will keep this visit brief," she added, when he looked like he was about to protest. "You have recovered remarkably well." Then she thrust a finger into his face. "But you _will_ come with me for a full examination Severus, before I let you return to work, or I shall drag you. And light duties only. I will brook no opposition on this."

Severus's eyes narrowed. "Fine. But this is absolutely unnecessary." He sat and laboriously pulled on his boots. Sitting up again, he asked "Where is my wand?"

Aeryn grabbed it off her bedside table where it was sitting next to her own. Handing it to him, she looked earnestly into his face. "Please take it easy Severus."

They both left the room, and Aeryn was left standing there. She knew she only had a short time to get what she wanted before Severus returned to his dungeon.

* * *

**Yeh see the bit below that says 'review this chapter'? - come on, boost my ego a little? please? :-) **


	13. Chapter 13: Rape

**Oooh, hard chapter to write. Rated M for a reason, although not the mushy one you were probably hoping for.**

* * *

CHAPTER 13

Of course his dungeon was warded. How could she be so stupid?

Aeryn stood outside the great wooden door in the dank hallway and tried to stop herself from beating her hands against the door in frustration. She _needed_ to get into his private stores. Who else would know the password? A house-elf?

"Elf?" Aeryn called tentatively.

With a crack, a small figure appeared before her. "At your service, Miss," it said in a piping voice.

"Oh, hello. Um, what's your name?" Aeryn asked, with an attempt to be friendly and completely open.

"Simon, Miss." The elf said importantly.

Aeryn burst out laughing. "Are you serious? Simon? I thought all house elves had names like Binky, or Dobby, or whatever."

Simon looked affronted. "I chose Simon, Miss, to distinguish myself from all the other elves. Is...is it a bad name?"

Aeryn quashed her laughter. "No, it's a very good name. I like Simon," she said solemnly. "Simon, I need you to do something for me. I need to get something out of here," she said, tapping the thick wooden door of Snape's room with a fingernail.

Simon looked at her suspiciously. "What is you needing in there, Miss?"

Aeryn smiled, and hoped it looked genuine. "Oh, a student left his book in there, and needs it for homework. I didn't want to bother Professor Snape, seeing as he's injured and in the hospital wing. It'll only take me a couple seconds to get what I want."

Simon's smile reappeared. "Very well, Miss. That is very nice of you, I must say. All the teacher's here is very nice," he said with a toothy smile. He snapped his fingers, and the door opened. "I'll only be able to hold this open for a short time, Miss. You had best hurry."

Aeryn didn't need telling twice. She felt bad for deceiving the elf, but at this stage she was desperate.

Running into Severus's storeroom, she quickly found what she was looking for: a black jar with a clearly defined label on it. _Draught of Living Death,_ and a warning label underneath, advising of the volatility of the substance within.

Aeryn ignored it.

She pulled out a small flask and tipped about 30ml of the potion into it, hoping that the small amount would go unnoticed if Severus happened to check it.

Pocketing the flask, she randomly grabbed a book from one of the shelves and tucked it under her arm. "Here it is," she called as she exited the room. "Thank you so much, Simon. I think you've just saved a student a week's worth of detention." Aeryn hung the fake smile back on her face, and tried to look sincere.

"No problem, Miss. I will just let the Headmaster know what happened here."

Aeryn stopped cold, and said slightly breathlessly, "Oh, that won't be necessary, Simon. I can let him know."

Simon turned back to face her. "Oh, no Miss. It's my duty to report these things to the Headmaster. But you is being helpful, so I is sure he won't be very angry. Good day, Miss." And with another crack, he vanished.

"Shit," Aeryn muttered, smacking her forehead. She was screwed.

* * *

If there was a God, He was smiling on Aeryn today, because, as Minerva informed Aeryn at breakfast, the Headmaster was not in today.

"Oh," Aeryn said, trying to control her relief, "I hope nothing is wrong?"

"I don't believe so. He comes and goes a lot," Minerva said placidly. Aeryn didn't dare draw attention to herself by asking more questions. If anyone found out what she had done, she would most likely be fired.

That night though, it was worth it. She carefully added three drops – a tenth of the required dose - of the Draught to a glass of water. Without hesitating, she downed it. Almost immediately, the room took on a surreal quality. Aeryn felt like someone had wrapped her in cotton wool: not only her, but her emotions as well. She couldn't think, or feel, but her skin became very cold. She lay back on the bed and let her eyes drift shut.

"Aeryn! Wake up, dear."

Aeryn shot up from the bed what felt like only moments later. Sunlight was pouring though her curtains that she had forgotten to close. It was well into the morning.

"Late night?" Minerva McGonagall was standing next to her bed, after shaking Aeryn awake.

Aeryn rubbed her face to clear the last dregs of sleep. Funnily, though, she felt as if she hadn't slept at all. Her eyes felt sandy and she felt listless, unmotivated. "Um..." she mumbled, her brain not quite awake yet. "Yeah. Late night."

"Well you certainly look like you haven't slept. But you've slept well into your first two lessons. I became worried when Dennis Creevy came to find me and said you never turned up for his session this morning." Minerva looked penetratingly at Aeryn. "I covered for you with Umbridge, but I doubt I will have such luck twice. Aeryn, my dear, I know you haven't been sleeping well. Have you spoken to Poppy about it?"

Aeryn lurched out of the bed. "No...no, everything is fine. In fact last night I had no trouble sleeping. Just catching up, I guess." She said with a reassuring smile. Amazingly, despite the fact that she felt as if she hadn't slept in a week, she was great. Fantastic. Not a single dream, nightmare, or flash of any imagery whatsoever - including an insane evil Lord of the Dark Arts.

"Well I'd better hurry if I want to make third period. See you later Minerva," Aeryn said, as she disappeared into the bathroom.

"Oh, Aeryn, one moment! I forgot to mention, the Headmaster is back, and wishes to see you as soon as possible. Perhaps you should just duck up there before your next lesson? Whatever it is, I'm sure it won't take long. Have a good day." Aeryn leaned weakly against the bathroom door as Minerva left the room. Suddenly she felt even weaker.

"Well," she muttered, after a few moments of contemplation. "Better get this over with."

After her quick shower she threw on her Professor's robes, brushed her hair quickly but didn't tie it up in her haste to respond to the Headmaster's summons. It flew out behind her like a flag as she ran up the halls and stairways to the Headmaster's office. She was not one to hide from an unpleasant situation, rather she would get it over and done with.

Running up the hall leading to his office, Aeryn paused in front of the stone gargoyle. Was it her imagination or did it look disapproving today? "Chocolate frog," she said hesitantly.

Still slightly out of breath, she paused outside of the thick wooden door. Now that she was here, her resolve to get this over and done with faltered. But it would do no good to run away.

Drawing a deep breath, and pulling her shoulders back, she knocked three times quickly.

"Enter," came the familiar voice from inside.

She opened the door and peered hesitantly inside. Dumbledore was seated at his desk, his fingers steepled in front of his spectacles, and his blue eyes rooting her to the spot. "Please come in, Professor Allen." He said softly, and indicated for her to take the chair opposite him. He glanced sharply at her, when she sat down, noticing the shadows under her eyes in her pale face.

Aeryn sat, feeling like an errant child. Eleven years since she was a student here suddenly didn't seem that long ago.

"We have a problem, Professor." Dumbledore began gravely after a short silence. "Can you tell me what it is?"

Aeryn didn't reply.

Dumbledore stood from his desk, and walked slowly around to stand somewhere behind Aeryn. She couldn't turn to face him.

His soft voice continued. "At this school, trust is an important issue. We have too many enemies that threaten that trust by acting in spontaneous or dangerous ways. We all _trust_ that what everyone else around us is doing is right."

He paused again. Aeryn still didn't say anything, but her sense of shame and apprehension was certainly growing.

Dumbledore sighed. "Yesterday, shortly after the potions master was taken to the hospital for serious injury, you broke into his store room – with the unknowing help of a house-elf – and stole from his private stores. Not only did you blatantly take advantage of an innocent employee if this school, but you also took a dangerous potion against the express warnings of the potions master, who is well aware that the effects of taking such a potion can be fatal."

Dumbledore came and stood before Aeryn, who was staring blankly at the hardwood desk. "I hope you understand, Professor, that I'm within my rights to terminate your employment at this school for such an act."

Aeryn finally took her eyes from the desk, and stared into the blue ones that looked on her so disapprovingly. "I know that." She said softly, and paused. "I was desperate," she mumbled finally. "I couldn't face any more of those – dreams – and keep my sanity. I know you said you would help me, Headmaster, but I had the opportunity to do something about them right _then_. I know what I did was wrong, and I knew it then. And I know Severus will have plenty to say on the subject."

"Did it work?" Dumbledore said abruptly. Aeryn looked at him in surprise.

"Yes," she said with a small smile. "I believe it did."

"But it won't help you indefinitely." He continued. At the counsellor's confusion, he said "How do you feel this morning?"

"Um, very tired. But fine otherwise."

"That is because the Draught of Living Death produces the effects of _death_, Aeryn, not sleep. You did _not_ in fact sleep last night. To add to that, the potion also taxes the body to such an extent that by taking the potion at full strength, people have reported feeling sick or tired for weeks afterwards. In short, you cannot survive without sleep. Therefore you cannot keep administering the potion to yourself."

Aeryn looked at him, feeling sick. "But...I was so sure it had worked," she mumbled brokenly. Dumbledore allowed her time to compose herself, and also to accept that what she had done was wrong, and useless in the end.

"You can go now, Professor."

Aeryn glanced up in surprise. "Am I still a Professor at your school?"

Dumbledore looked at her seriously. "You are until I say otherwise. And, in future, please trust that I will do everything in my power to help you with your nightmares, rather than going off on your own. And Aeryn?"

"Yes?"

"You are to apologise to Professor Snape, in person. And we will discuss your punishment later."

Aeryn nodded. "Yes, Professor," she whispered, and left his office.

She walked numbly back to her office, her steps heavy. No wonder she felt so awful this morning: the potion was useless. And disappointing the headmaster wasn't high on her list of things she liked doing. At the thought of mentioning any of this to Severus, she felt even worse.

So as it was, when she walked into her office and found a small first year sitting at her desk, ready to discuss lesson plans, she wasn't feeling very helpful. Aeryn stumbled through a preliminary timetable with the young girl, not feeling as if she was helping at all, and was grateful when the session was up and the little girl left. The rest of the morning was free of students.

Aeryn had planned to finish her filing, so she started on that, her mind still dull with tiredness and her heart still heavy with guilt.

She looked unhappily at the piles of paperwork on her desk. It was too hard, this morning. Aeryn rubbed her eyes tiredly – they felt like sand, and her eyelids were so heavy. She would just rest them a moment.

* * *

The word spread ahead that Professor Snape was on the warpath. His stay in the hospital wing had been brief – by Poppy's terms anyway – but she had restricted him firmly to light duties, mainly supervising free periods of study, although he had been taking his regular classes as well. He had returned to his rooms a short while ago only to find a note from the headmaster, asking the potions master to join him. Albus then mentioned to him that his private stores had been broken into, and without naming anyone, told him what had been taken.

At the mention of the Draught of Living Death, Severus's eyes went hard. "Aeryn," he snapped. "It was either Aeryn, or that Potter boy. And he is not intelligent enough to know what to do with it. Where is she?"

"That is beside the point. I will punish her accordingly, and she is to apologise. Right now, however, you have classes to teach. If you are not feeling up to teaching at the moment, then surely you are not up to chastising my school counsellor. I suggest you leave it for now, Severus."

So it was that Professor Snape conducted his teaching that day with an ugly scowl on his face, and was prepared to jump on any little mistake made by a student. He gave out multiple detentions, and the amount of homework was extreme. Students melted out of his way as he strode along the corridors.

* * *

"Oh, no. Oh, God no. Not now. Please not now," Aeryn whimpered as the darkness of the nightmare engulfed her. She started running blindly, not seeing where she was going, but hearing unintelligible whispers in the background.

She stopped. There was nowhere to run. This was _his_ dream, in his control. The thought sent spikes of fear shooting into her stomach. She stopped where she was, not out of breath at all, except for the feeling of having a steel knife in her throat.

She tried to focus, tried to remember the one time she had actually come face to face with the Dark Lord. She _had_ defeated him, he _had_ run from her. Why couldn't it be the same now?

_Because you are not as strong as you think_, came a thought not of her own. Aeryn gasped and spun around, staring blindly into the darkness.

A glint of silver caught her eye. As she stared at it, it became a knife, simply held motionless in midair. It looked exactly like the knife that Moody had thrown at her last year. And just like that time, this knife came hurtling at her with no warning. She couldn't stop it. Aeryn ducked only just in time, feeling a burning sensation on her left cheek, just under her eye.

_You are weak. You have no power, only the power I can give you._

"What do you want?" Aeryn screamed at the top of her lungs, and felt hysteria welling up inside her. "No!" she cried to herself. "This is what he wants! You can beat him, you've done it before!" She tried to remember the smug feeling she felt when she had awoken in the hospital wing after Cedric Diggory's death. It had felt so _easy_ then, even if she had apparently almost killed herself. She gained a little confidence at the memory.

And then Lord Voldemort was standing before her, and her confidence wavered a little. "_Crucio_," he murmured, almost lovingly. Aeryn screamed and writhed. Falling to the black, unchanging floor, she gasped for breath, for release of the pain. She tried, she tried so hard to stop the pain with her mind. She willed it with all her strength.

Nothing happened. The Dark Lord laughed.

As soon as Aeryn gave up resisting him, the pain also stopped. She lay on the floor, panting and crying, and she felt soft hands stroking her hair. Voldemort pulled her into a sitting position. "See how easy it is, once you simply do as I ask?" he said, a small smile on his cold features. When he picked her up Aeryn began to struggle again. He slapped her sharply across the face. "And I thought you were doing so well," he said in artificially distressed voice. He threw her into the blackness.

And she landed on a bed. The same bed as last time. The same room. And once again she was naked. Only this time, he was too. She tried to avert her eyes from his almost skeletal body. As deformed as he seemed, he was most definitely male. "Alright!" Aeryn cried, stalling for time. "What is it you want? You want me to work for you? Fine, I'll work for you."

Voldemort smiled chillingly. "Oh no, my dear. What I want from you requires just one simple sacrifice and we're done. I will release you."

She looked at him suspiciously. "What - " she swallowed, "What is it?"

"I want you to bear my child." Voldemort said with finality, each word coming to her ears like a cannon.

Aeryn's mind screeched at his proposal. His _child_? The man who was immortal wanted a child with her? _Why her_? "Why me?" she asked, her voice rising several octaves.

Voldemort crawled onto the bed, leaning over her. She cringed away. "Because your blood is powerful. You come from a long line of pure-blood, incredibly talented wizards. And your mother's blood is not so much a defect as it is an advantage," he whispered in her ear.

"But-but there are more powerful witches out there than me. And I'm sure there are still people with my abilities in the world, hiding from others. I don't - I can't - "

"I've made my decision. When I meet you in the flesh, you will be mine. At least," he smiled evilly, "until your task is done."

"What's that - " but Aeryn didn't get to finish her question. He pushed her down on the bed, holding his hands around her throat. Aeryn struggled, but in vain. He forced a knee between her thighs, and with one powerful thrust, penetrated deeply.

* * *

It was time to confront Aeryn about invading his store room and stealing from him. He had begun to trust her, and she had stabbed him in the back.

Severus walked briskly along the corridors. It was lunchtime, and the students were milling around outside in the sunshine. He scowled at any who caught his eye. He continued up the corridor leading to her office. Time to set things straight with her, and this time, he wouldn't be compelled to be _friends_. He was getting too close to her, it was time to cut this relationship off, and leave it dead. For his safety as well as hers.

Severus ignored the ache in his chest as he thought of never being her friend again.

A desperate, sobbing scream jerked his attention to the door leading to her office. It had come from in there. He didn't even bother with magic, just simply kicked the door open, leaving it to dangle drunkenly on its hinges.

Aeryn was lying head down at her desk, her fingers digging so hard into the wood that she had broken several fingernails and had drawn blood. Her head was striking the wooden desk, and she began to scream.

Severus rushed over to her, his heart in his throat. She was crying, screaming, begging for someone to stop whatever it was they were doing, only her eyes were shut and she seemed unaware of his presence. "Aeryn! What's wrong? What's hurting you? Aeryn! Answer me!" He drew his wand. "_Finite Incantatem_!" He cried desperately. Nothing. She continued to writhe and sob.

Severus pulled Aeryn to her feet and shook her roughly. "Wake up!" he yelled in her face.

Her eyes opened. For one second there was silence.

Then everything in the room exploded.

Severus was thrown backwards into the bookshelf near to her desk. A few books cascaded onto his head, but he was so stunned he hardly noticed them.

The entire room that was in close proximity to the half-witch, half-sorceress was in shambles. The desk was a splintered mess - all that remained of the paperwork on it was floating around the room as ashes; the two couches and the coffee table next to the fire place were in pieces. The door was gone. Anything that was made of glass was shattered, including the windows. All that remained was the bookshelf, where he was, and across the other side of the room was the chaise that was leaning to one side, missing a leg.

And Aeryn was sitting in the middle of all the destruction, still crying, with her fingernails digging into her face and her eyes wide open, and full of fear, her long hair handing around her like a curtain.

Severus stumbled to his feet. He half walked, half crawled his way over to her.

He pried her fingers from her face. They left bloodied marks from where her nails had been torn off. Pulling her tightly against him, he wrapped his arms around her shaking body and tried to infuse her with the strength and security he knew she must need right now.

_Accio Calming Draught_, Severus incanted non-verbally. He held the hysterical woman for a few moments while he waited for the potion to appear from his room.

It came whizzing through the open door and into Severus's outstretched hand. "Here," he mumbled, pulling away from her slightly. "Drink this, it will help you relax. I don't know what's wrong but it will help you sleep - "

At the word _sleep_, Aeryn wrenched herself from his grasp and backtracked very fast. "No! I won't sleep!" she screeched. "Get away from me!"

Severus stood up and held a hand out to her imploringly. "Aeryn - "

"NO!" She hardly seemed to recognise him. "Get the fuck away from me!" Another shockwave hit him, and once again he was thrown backwards. "Get away from me!" She yelled again. "I won't let you touch me!"

"_Stupify_!" came a welcome voice from the doorway. Albus stood there, fairly radiating power as he shot the stunning spell at the distraught woman. As soon as she crumpled to the ground, the old man simply created a door in the empty doorway, and quickly formed wards on it so as to not be interrupted or overheard.

Severus arose groggily from his place on the floor. Falling to his knees next to the unmoving girl, he stared avidly into her closed features. Albus came over and kneeled next to him. "What's wrong with her?" Severus croaked out, his face looking uncharacteristically worried.

"One moment," was all Albus said. He held his hand an inch from her face and closed his eyes, mumbling something under his breath. After a few moments he opened them again. "She will sleep for a while. Help me get her to the chaise over there."

Severus lifted her easily and placed her gently on the couch, brushing the tears from her face. "Albus_. What's wrong with her?_"

Albus sighed and conjured two squashy armchairs. "I'm not sure she would want me to tell you. She seems intent on keeping you in the dark about this."

"She is being absurd. Please," he said, softening his tone. "Tell me."

Albus indicated for him to sit, taking a seat also.

"She has told you she is experiencing nightmares?" Dumbledore asked. Severus nodded shortly. "Severus, you told me that the Dark Lord is seeking a mate, to continue his line should anything happen to him."

Once again Severus nodded. "How has that anything to do with this?" he asked with growing irritation.

"It seems," Dumbledore said, looking over at the unconscious woman, "that he has found the woman who will be the mother of his child."

Severus stared dumbly at the headmaster. He glanced at Aeryn and back again to his friend. "Aeryn?" he asked, dumbfounded as the pieces clicked into place. "You mean the Dark Lord has chosen _Aeryn_?"

"It would unfortunately appear so."

Silence reigned as Severus digested this information. He felt sick for not knowing sooner, guilty for not helping her, and completely foolish for not figuring it out. "How long have you known?" he asked hoarsely.

Dumbledore looked at the younger man gravely. "Only since yesterday. Severus, this is the reason she foolishly stole the Draught from you. She was desperate enough to try and stop the nightmares herself."

Severus nodded, more information clicking into place. Then a thought struck him, bringing him to a half standing position.

"If he is invading her in her dreams, why have you put her asleep, Albus?" he asked accusingly.

Dumbledore held up his hands in defence. "I have temporarily warded her dreams, as well as this room. It is only short-term relief for her, and will probably only last a few hours at most. Severus, I was going to ask you today anyway, and I know you already have enough on your plate as it is..."

"What?" Severus asked with suspicion etched on his face as he sat down again.

"You are giving Occlumency lessons to Harry. Could you possibly do the same for Aeryn?"

At his continued silence, Dumbledore leaned back into his chair, and looked gravely at Severus. "You think I ask too much of you. First, to spy for me. Second, to teach and protect the son of Lily Evans, and in doing so, put yourself at risk. And now, to help the woman that Lord Voldemort has singled out for his own."

Severus simply looked at the old man; he had no need to speak his mind.

Dumbledore once again leaned forward. "Let me put it this way: would you simply leave her to the wolves?"

Severus looked down at his hands as he considered. Hands that had held Aeryn's small, vulnerable body as she clung to him in fear. Hands that had brushed the hair from her face, traced the line of her lips, and pulled her body closer as they had kissed. He knew he would never leave her, could never leave her, and would protect her at all costs. Save one. That vow was made first, and should always come first. It was a part of him. But he knew now that it carried less weight than it once did.

"I will do as you ask."


	14. Chapter 14: Awaken

CHAPTER 14

Dumbledore left the room shortly after, promising to cancel any other sessions with Aeryn's students for the rest of the week. "I will also take over your afternoon potion classes this week to free up more of your time, but leave you with your morning lessons as usual." He looked gravely at the young woman lying unmoving on the chaise. "These Occlumency lessons are almost as important as the ones you have with Harry. They both must learn to shut Voldemort from their minds. I hope however, you do not shirk your responsibility to Harry, Severus, however much you dislike him, in favour of your responsibility to this young lady."

Severus scowled at the Headmaster. "And just what is that supposed to mean?"

Albus smiled slightly. "Please notify me when she awakens, Severus."

Severus watched the old man quietly leave the room. It was amazing that only a few minutes had passed since he had kicked in the door. He heard students going to their afternoon lessons after lunch, knowing Potter was out in the rabble somewhere.

His thoughts remained briefly on the young boy who was in his charge. They had only had a couple of 'Remedial Potions' lessons together and they were, in his opinion, a waste of his time.

As the afternoon passed and his thoughts wandered, his eyes drifted back to the girl on the couch. His feelings for her were so confused. They always were. He had an inkling now of what adolescents must go through, and was disgusted with himself for the comparison. Yes, he cared for Aeryn. Just how much though he was not willing to look into. His course until now had been clear, and the memory of Lily Evans had kept him strong on that course, however much he detested working with Harry and his stupid gang of followers, or reporting to the Dark Lord and suffering his displeasure. He had been so afraid for Aeryn, and hated seeing her incredible fear when he had woken her. He wanted to help, but reaching out to people wasn't one of his strong points.

Severus allowed himself a moment of weakness to imagine what it would be like to simply disappear with Aeryn by his side. They could simply vanish, and try to live out their lives together in relative obscurity. Severus shut his eyes and grimaced. There was no way. Too much responsibility, to the living and to the dead. Too many oaths given, too many people to deceive. It would only endanger their lives; they would only spend what was left of them running away. And he doubted the feelings were reciprocated, anyway.

Opening his eyes, Severus looked down at his hands, and began to absently crack his knuckles. He remembered the words the Dark Lord had muttered so confidently at the beginning of the year. _She will not be willing, but I will break her_. And here, it seemed, was the result. Severus could only imagine what was happening inside Aeryn's head. And he wasn't sure he understood why she was so distraught – hadn't she been so arrogant after her face-to-face confrontation with the Dark Lord at the end of the year? He remembered the cocky look on her face when she had impertinently informed him that she had almost defeated one of the greatest wizards of all time. If that was so, why did she fear him now?

Severus glanced up to her features once again, and started as he saw her eyes were open, but she hadn't made a movement or a sound. He wasn't sure how long she had been awake. Even as he looked, a single tear traced its way from the corner of her eye and fell back into her hair. Her face, however, was expressionless. "Aeryn?" he murmured. She slowly turned her head to look at him. Her mouth moved in what he assumed was her attempt at a smile, but it fell way short. "Hi," she said, and her voice was as expressionless as her face.

Severus scooted his chair closer. "Are you all right?" Aeryn didn't answer, but her eyes were shadowed with pain. "Aeryn, can you tell me what happened in - "

"What are you doing here?" she asked softly, interrupting him. Severus paused while he looked at her face, understanding that she didn't want to talk about anything just yet. "Keeping an eye on you, actually." Another tear escaped her tortured eyes. He automatically reached a hand out, but she sat up, quickly, away from him."Don't touch me," she said wretchedly.

Aeryn wiped her eyes and drew a shuddering breath, trying to block the images that tried to enter her mind. Suddenly realising where she was, she looked around. Her eyebrows moved slightly in surprise – it was the first expression he had seen on her face. "What happened to my office?" she asked, her voice barely tinged with interest.

"Don't you remember?"

She shook her head. "Nothing...since this morning. I saw Albus in his office. Then I had a study session with a first year – Jeslyn James. And then - " she broke off suddenly. Her eyes shut spasmodically and she ran her hands through her hair roughly as if trying to push images from her head.

"I came to see you this morning," Severus began. "We needed to talk about...something. When I found you - "

"The Draught of Living Death, yes, now I remember all of that," Aeryn whispered, as if speaking to herself.

"When I found you," continued Severus, "you were..." he hesitated, "distressed. To say the least. You were..." Severus shook his head, lost for words. "I've never seen anything like it. I woke you, but you didn't seem to recognise me, and you...you lost control."

Aeryn looked at him in confusion. "I did this? How?"

"Sorcery, obviously. I don't know where your wand is."

"But," Aeryn shook her head emphatically. "No, that's not right. I haven't been able to...to _do_ anything since summer break. Since _he_ began invading my head, he took it away from me and I-I can't do things anymore," Aeryn was breathing in short gasps now, her hands pressed to the sides of her head; eyes wide as the images she had tried to force out took hold. She suddenly let her hands fall, and tears fell freely from her eyes. "He...he took it away. I can't beat him now," she said in a broken voice, and covered her face.

Severus was torn. She had said not to touch her, and it wasn't in his nature to comfort someone when they were distressed with physical contact, but a strong part of him wanted to reach out and hold the pieces of her together. He settled for moving to sit close to her. Through her stifled sobs, he said "believe me, Aeryn, it was you. You can still use your sorcery. I felt the full effects of it," he said with a wry smile. "What makes you think you can't use your power anymore?"

Aeryn sniffed and choked on a sob. "In...in the – the dreams, I can't. It's just like it's not there. He _always_ wins. I try, I really try so hard, but nothing happens. He always hurts me, and I'm completely powerless to stop it. Why?" she turned to him, and her eyes were almost accusing. "Why can't I stop him? I've done it before!"

He grasped her shoulders in an attempt to calm her, but took his hands back when she flinched. He had never seen her so low. She had always been so strong, so feisty. And yet looking at her, there had always been a vulnerability, a sweetness about her countenance that he felt protective of. And now she was broken.

"I suspect," he began slowly, his mind shying away from these unnamed feelings for her, "That it is he who controls the nightmare. Not you. Seeing the destruction you can still cause when you are awake seems concrete enough. He is most likely using it as a form of control. If you don't _believe_ you can fight him, then you won't, and he wins. Aeryn," he said very intently, "you must fight him."

She shook her head hopelessly. "I don't know how," she mumbled.

Severus's mind was thinking fast. He needed to provoke her, make her feel strong again. Or at least stronger than she was now. In the frame of mind she was in now she wouldn't even try to protect her mind.

He stood up, and roughly grasped her shoulders, ignoring her cry of protest, until she was standing up as well. "Well," he said firmly, "you can start by showing a little backbone. Not whining like you are now." At the shocked look in her eyes he began to doubt his approach; he didn't want to make her worse. "I know what he wants from you. You should have told me right at the start. _Told_ me outright, not any vague references in a letter," he snapped when she seemed about to interrupt. "I could have helped you, and you would not have suffered so. But you must remember you are not the only one to suffer at his hands," he said, thinking of his past history.

"Yes, you're right," she said hoarsely. "Harry has to go through this doesn't he? He told me he's been having dreams about a door...and sees _him_ in them sometimes too."

Severus was taken aback. That wasn't who he was referring to at all. "The point is," he said tersely, "that I can probably help you, if you are as clever as you _seem_ to be." At her confused look, he said wryly, "don't tell me you've forgotten what I did to you when I found out you were a Sorceress."

Aeryn blinked. "You read my mind. You mean _Occlumency_?" She shook her head. "No way. Having you inside my head constantly won't help things."

Severus was affronted, but glad to see she was being a little more outspoken like her old self. "Would you rather the Dark Lord invading your dreams every night or me inside your head every day?" he asked acerbically.

Aeryn's lip twitched, very slightly. It was encouraging. "I suppose I'll have to take you, Severus. When do we start?"

"Right now."

"_Now_?"

Severus looked at her. "After I inform Albus you are awake and functioning, yes." He pulled a spare piece of parchment and a quill from his robes. After scribbling quickly, he tapped it with his wand and it disappeared. Severus turned to see Aeryn touching a spot under her eye. She looked at him, her eyes wide with...something. "Is there anything - any marks on my face?" she asked in a repressed voice. He came over, searching her face, and lightly traced his fingers over her cheekbone. "Nothing," he murmured. "Should there be?"

Aeryn's face softened in relief. "Then it wasn't real. I don't have any marks, and I'm not hurting anywhere, so it wasn't real. It _was_ all in my head." Severus looked at her sharply. _Marks_? It wasn't the Dark Lord's style to cut or beat people really, that was more Bellatrix's way. He was almost too afraid to ask what had been done to her, but he sensed she would only evade the question anyway. But a sick part of him wanted to know.

There was a flash of fire and a small piece of parchment floated to the floor that was still covered in debris - a response from Dumbledore in his neat cursive.

_I am happy to hear that Professor Allen is up and about. I trust you to help her Severus – be __kind__. I am counting on you to keep an eye on her. As far as I know, no one else is aware of what occurred this morning. I would also like to speak to you after your first Occlumency lesson._

_Incidentally I believe it would be prudent to repair Professor Allen's office _before_ you leave. _

_Kindly, _

_Dumbledore._

Severus read it again quickly, noticing the underlined word. What, did he think he was going to throw her straight into work? He thought he had been exceptionally understanding.

"What does it say?" Aeryn asked.

Severus tapped the parchment with his wand and it disintegrated. "Oh...just the Headmaster is pleased you are feeling better. And he wishes you to know that Umbridge, or any of the other teachers in fact, are ignorant of your...condition."

Aeryn smiled a little and stepped lightly through the piles of wood that was once her desk to stand next to him. "That's good to know," she said softly. She took his hand and gazed earnestly into his face. "Thank you, Severus, for being here this morning. It...it isn't what I wanted, having you see me like this, but I'm glad you're here with me all the same." She squeezed his hand slightly and then let go.

Severus cleared his throat, his hand felt as though it was burned. "I think we should conduct these lessons in my office. More room."

With a sweeping motion of his wand everything in the room flew back to its original place, and items that were broken, which is to say nearly everything, repaired themselves.

"Now where is your wand? You will not need it in these lessons but it would be prudent for you to have it on you in case difficult questions were asked..."

"It _was_ in my desk. I only hope it's still in one piece." Severus pulled open the top draw of the now repaired desk and pulled out a long, thin wand of mahogany.

Aeryn gasped and snatched it off him. "Unbelievable. I can't believe I didn't wreck it." She looked at him. "It was my father's wand. And it wouldn't be the first I'd destroyed," she admitted. "Ollivander was tired of having me in his store. But I've managed to keep this one in one piece for a few years."

Severus nodded shortly. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yes but..." she halted. "Severus, are you sure there is no other way? There are...there are things in my head I'd rather you didn't know about." _Like the fact that I'm in love with you._

"Aeryn," Severus began with a twinge of annoyance. "I assure you I will try to respect your privacy, to some extent. But you forget – I sifted through your memories last year already. Now come with me."

As they walked in silence down the many staircases to his dungeon, Severus toyed with some other ideas. In the event that Aeryn was taken – which seemed likely – he wanted to prepare her as much as possible to defend herself. Albus had mentioned that she couldn't conjure a Patronus – strange considering she excelled at school. "Aeryn," he began as they neared his dungeon, "I think it would also be prudent to teach you some defensive techniques, with a wand. Not that there's any chance you could duel the dark lord and win - "

"I did once," she countered.

"And yet here you are, afraid of your own shadow," he said almost harshly. Aeryn didn't say anything. He continued. "If, as you say, you're having difficulty with you Sorcery, then you must learn to master your magic. I am more than adequately trained in magical defence. I think we should also include some practise in that area while we are studying Occlumency."

Aeryn nodded. "Whatever you say."

They entered his office through a side door so as not to be seen by the students that Albus would, at that moment, be teaching for Severus. Aeryn looked around at the multitude of specimens held within glass jars situation on shelves around the room. Most of the shelves were taken up with books, similar to his bedroom. She took one absently from the shelf as he walked over to his desk. "You must read alot," she said musingly, flicking through the pages.

Suddenly he was beside her, firmly taking the book from her hand and closing it with a snap. "Stop stalling. We have work to do," he said briskly. He indicated for her to sit down. "Now, as a graduate of this school you should know the differences between Legilimency and Occlumency. I will use Legilimency on you to ascertain your thoughts, memories and feelings; you will use Occlumency to block me. Understood?"

She looked at him, slightly alarmed now that the time was approaching for her to relive memories she'd rather avoid. And she had to, at all costs, stop him from discovering her feelings for him. She could only imagine the disdain he would show if he found out, and she couldn't bear that. "Wait," she said, her voice slightly higher pitched. "You haven't told me how to keep you out. I don't remember how to do it from school – the texts simply _tell_ you but that can't account for actually _experiencing_ it."

He looked at her thoughtfully for a moment, his brow slightly furrowed. "You must clear your mind. The moment I invade your thoughts you must block me by thinking of nothing. Ready?"

Aeryn stood up and moved out of range. "Whoa! No way! How can you expect me to think of nothing? It's not that simple, Severus!"

"Sit!"

Aeryn moved grudgingly back to her seat, and he leaned against the desk in front of her. "You will find out as we go. Stop procrastinating and stop asking questions. Are you ready? Legilimens!"

Severus was cruel, going straight to the source of her nightmares and sifting through some of the experiences the Dark Lord had put her through. In his selfishness to discover what had been happening, he didn't realise the extent of pain he was inflicting on Aeryn. But he was also doing it for another reason: if she hated these images so much she was more likely to try harder and block him.

She tried valiantly to block him out. _Think of nothing, think of nothing._ An image of Voldemort pressing himself against her. _No! Block it out!_ This time the knife hurtling through the air. Aeryn was gasping for breath, trying to block out the potions master. The moment when Voldemort had pinned her underneath his body and used her cruelly.

"NO!" she screamed, wrenching her mind from his successfully.

Severus's eyes were wide. He hadn't realised...

Aeryn had fallen off the chair. Suddenly she leaned forward and retched. She started shaking uncontrollably, and could hear a strange keening sound in her ears. Suddenly she realised it was herself making that noise, and tears were streaming down her face as she gulped and hiccoughed and sobbed.

She felt strong arms around her, lifting her to the chair and hearing soothing words. Severus.

And it was he who had put her through this again. "Get off!" She screeched, and struck out, pushing him away and taking hurried steps backwards. "How? How could you do that to me again?" she cried. Aeryn lost her balance and fell in a heap on the floor, still sobbing. This time when his arms went around her she didn't resist.

"Aeryn, I'm so sorry." Severus said in a tortured voice. "I believed you would work harder to keep me out if I put you through your worst memories. I know it's harsh, but you _did_ succeed. You blocked me." He held her tighter, unsure of how to help. "Please, please stop crying. We'll start slower next time," he murmured against her hair as she continued to cry.

After a few moments she pulled back. "I'm ok," she said hoarsely, not looking at him. "I'd like to go now."

"Do you want me to walk you to your - "

"No, I'm fine." Aeyrn interrupted.

Severus allowed her to return to her rooms with a Draught of Dreamless Sleep, disturbed that she wasn't looking at him after what he had done. It wasn't guaranteed to work, as they weren't actually dreams, but he promised to check on her later that night.

Severus climbed the stairs to Dumbledore's office, as the Headmaster had requested to see him after their first lesson of Occlumency.

"So, how did your first session with Aeryn go?" Dumbledore asked genially as Severus took a seat in front of him.

"Good and bad. She was ultimately successful in blocking my intrusion, however..." he paused. Dumbledore raised his eyebrows and waited for him to continue.

"I...I pushed her too far. I had her relive her experiences with the Dark Lord," Severus said shamefacedly.

"Are you out of your mind?" Dumbledore asked loudly, standing up from his desk and glaring at the potions master over his spectacles.

"I know it was wrong! I thought it would provoke her to better self-preservation than if I simply looked at memories from her afternoon tea sessions with Minerva!" Severus said snippily.

"That's not the real reason, Severus, and you know it!"

Severus stood up angrily and paced away from the desk and the accusing eyes of his mentor. "Fine! I was jealous!"

"Jealous?" Dumbledore asked incredulously.

"Yes, jealous! I wanted to see what was going on in her head with..._him_. He's taken one woman from me already, and this time his 'taking' involves a little more than death!"

Dumbledore came round the desk to stand in front of Severus, who wouldn't meet his gaze. "You believe she would _want_ the attentions of the Dark Lord?" he asked in disbelief.

"Well, most women are drawn to power."

Dumbledore shook his head. "My friend, I think you have alot to learn about women. Even you can see she has suffered from these dreams. He raped her Severus! Even if it was only a dream, the psychological effects can still be profound! Can't you see that it is _unwanted_ attention from Voldemort?"

Severus shifted his feet guiltily. "How did you know he...he - "

"You aren't the only skilled Legilimens, my friend."

Severus ran his hands through his hair roughly and sat back down. After a moment he muttered "I won't do it again."

"_Why _won't you do it again? Your method was successful, wasn't it?" Dumbledore asked, peering at the younger man intently.

"Because...because I don't want to hurt her again." Severus muttered softly, then glanced up defensively at the Headmaster.

Dumbledore sat back down, slowly, never taking his eyes from the man in front of him. "What of Lily?" he asked softly.

Severus shifted in irritation. "I will keep my vow." was all he said.

Dumbledore tapped his lips thoughtfully. "But now you've fallen in love with another, and your loyalties are divided.

Severus interrupted. "I wouldn't call this...this _love_." He said uncomfortably.

Dumbledore brushed him off. "No, of course you wouldn't, your heart is too black and bitter and filled with regret. But now you're wondering why you should even listen to an old man who puts you in danger time after time." It was not a question.

Albus shut his eyes and grimaced - he was about to do something profoundly painful to the younger man. But he had to drive his point home.

He conjured an image of Lily Potter, clear as day, who stood in front of Severuswith pain-filled eyes. "I trust you, Sev," she said, her voice echoing. "I know you won't let us down, you will keep Harry safe."

Severus retaliated with a flick of his wand, dissipating the image. He turned on the Headmaster. "I said I will keep my vow!" he snarled.

Dumbledore looked at him, then nodded slowly. "The fate of the whole wizarding world rests on Harry Potter, and his fate rests with you, Severus."


	15. Chapter 15: Lessons

CHAPTER 15

Severus closed the door to Aeryn's room quietly. He had checked on her twice through the night, entering her room to watch her sleep briefly, and seeing her sleep undisturbed, retreating silently. She never stirred, not even when he traced a line from her temple to her jaw lightly with his fingers as she lay sleeping on the bed. He wanted to stay, to watch her face greedily all night, but left each time before the temptation grew too strong.

What a pathetic place he'd gotten himself into, he thought to himself acidly. Falling in love with the very woman the Dark Lord had chosen to spawn his disgusting child from. Lust, he corrected himself, not love. He couldn't love. He had believed himself in love once, and she had run off with that Potter filth. There was no future for him and Aeryn, so why did he torment himself? He should just go and rent one of those women they had down in Knockturn Alley for an hour or so.

The thought was distasteful to him and his lip curled. He had been with women before, of course, but nothing recently. Nothing met his standards lately. They were all only after him because of the power he held. Severus had the Dark Lord's ear; he was his second in command, and therefore almost as good as the real thing. He couldn't count the number of women who had cried 'hurt me' as he lay on top of them, and although stimulating years ago, it was contemptible now.

He scowled at Aeryn's door and turned away from it. And met with the chilling smile of another of those women that only wanted him for what he was, not who he was. Gwyneth walked slowly from the shadows, her smile speculative. "Visiting, are we?" she asked playfully, with a cold smile. "You and the school counsellor seem to be spending a lot of time together recently. Perhaps you've developed a _tendre_ for her?"

Severus's lip curled. "If you think so."

Gwyneth pouted prettily. "Well I hope not, because it wouldn't do for you to fantasise about the Dark Lord's chosen mate."

Severus looked at her in astonishment. "You knew?" he asked incredulously.

She laughed lightly. "Of course I knew, dear one. I have his ear almost as much as you do." She sighed. "I would of course like to be much more to him." Then she sneered. "Certainly my blood is more pure than that slut in there," she nodded her head in the direction of Aeryn's door.

Severus nodded. "Certainly. What are you doing out so late? It's nearly morning."

She laughed again. "Keeping an eye on Umbridge. She's trying to spring a trap for some students that have rebelled against her. She's been up all night. It's so trivial." She walked close to Severus and stood very close. "Perhaps you would care to join me in my rooms for a nightcap?"

For one, very slight second he was tempted. If he squinted, Gwyneth almost looked like Lily. If Gwyneth would lose that cold, calculating look and smile genuinely, he would definitely be tempted.

But then he realised that Lily didn't quite cut it anymore. They had been best friends, and that was more or less how he remembered her now. He recognised that he wanted another, even if he didn't accept it.

"Another time, perhaps," Severus said to the beauty before him, and stalked off, leaving her standing there alone.

* * *

The next afternoon Aeryn came to Severus's office as planned, for their scheduled lesson on Occlumency. She was agitated - she wasn't sure if she could go through another repetition of what she'd experienced twice now.

Severus was standing at his desk, his wand out, prodding the contents of a stone basin. She walked in cautiously, noting the stone basin looked familiar. "What's that?" she asked, pointing to it.

Severus glanced up at her. "Good afternoon, Miss Allen," he said sarcastically, by doing so noting her lack of decorum.

She raised her eyebrows at him loftily. "Good afternoon, _Professor_ Snape," she said just as sarcastically. "What is that?" she asked again pointedly.

He didn't answer for a moment, but pulled a silvery thread from his temple using his wand. Depositing it in the stone basin, he said, "Surely as a student of this school once, you'd recognise a Pensieve when you saw one."

"Ah, of course. And no, I don't remember everything I was taught at this school; it was a few years ago now. But I recognise it now. What are you using it for?"

"Honestly, Aeryn, you ask more questions than a ten year old. What do you think I'm using it for?"

"Ok, fine. You're obviously dumping your memories in there, obviously so I won't accidentally see them if I happen to read your thoughts by mistake." He nodded tersely. Aeryn continued. "That's not very fair."

He glanced away from her dismissively. "Life isn't meant to be fair."

Aeryn raised her eyebrows. "Are you afraid of what I might see in there?" she asked astutely.

He scowled at her. "_Thank_ you, counsellor. It's time to begin."

As promised, he refrained from looking through the memories of her nightmares. After an hour, though, she hadn't made any progress. He put his wand down in exasperation. "You're not trying hard enough!" he exclaimed loudly, furiously.

"Oh, you think so!" she yelled back, holding a hand against her temple. Aeryn felt as if her head had been pounded against a brick wall the last hour. There was an added strain. She had learned enough from her last lesson, and had so far managed to keep her feelings for him secret, but only, she thought, because he wasn't looking for them. It was taking extra concentration, and slowing her down.

Severus took a deep breath and held his hands up. "Fine, we'll give it a break for a while. We will practise basic self-defence. With your wand, only," he stated pointedly. He poured them both a glass of water. Taking a sip, he asked, "How are you with non-verbal?"

Aeryn sniffed. "Average."

"We shall see. I am going to attack you, non-verbally, and you need to block my spell. Ready?" he asked, putting the glass down. He brandished his wand, sending a stunning spell her way. She blocked it, but only just. Not quick enough if he had really wanted to harm her, Snape thought. "Faster!" he yelled as he flicked another curse her way, and she blocked again, clumsily. This continued back and forth, the spells lighting up the room like a Christmas tree as Severus got faster and faster, but he didn't seem satisfied. Aeryn began to sweat, trying to keep up with them.

Severus stopped, and lowered his wand. The moment Aeryn followed suit, though, he shot a simple Disarming spell at her, and she lost her wand. "Dammit, Aeryn! Just because your opponent has lowered his wand doesn't mean the fight is over!"

She marched over and snatched her wand from him, wiping sweat from her brow. "Severus, you're _not_ my opponent, but _if_ I'm ever unfortunate enough to be in the same room as one, I promise I won't back down until they are beaten. Stop being so serious about this," she muttered. That was the wrong thing to say.

Severus swooped down on her, grasping her upper arms and giving her a shake. "This is as serious as it gets," he spat. "Your life is in danger. You could very easily die without this training. If you continue to act so flippant, I will go the Headmaster and call all of this off. You can fend for yourself, and stop wasting my time, if you believe yourself to be so well prepared," he snarled.

"Oh please!" she cried back, wincing slightly from his cruel hands. "You think I don't know that? You think I don't know that the moment I lower my guard my whole life won't be turned upside down by one of them? Jesus, Severus! I'm not as ignorant as you think! I was just mentioning the fact that you aren't one of them!"

He squeezed her arms tightly in his grip, shaking her slightly again. "You are a fool. I have done things that would have you in hysterics on the floor again. He will take you, and when he's done with you, you will die, unless you are sufficiently prepared, which it _seems_ is unavoidable," he said cruelly.

"Then why do you bother?" she said as tears furiously started in her eyes. "Dammit Severus, what's stopping you from just giving up, and letting me fend for myself? I'm wasting your time, aren't I?"

Severus was so angry. She was just so casual about the whole thing. At the moment she had next to no chance of defending herself.

"You little fool," he grated out, and suddenly crushed his lips to hers. The kiss wasn't gentle; he almost bruised her soft lips with his own. He wanted to impart some measure of urgency in the kiss, to let her know somehow that she couldn't die, that he wouldn't let her. He also wanted to punish her for not trying harder. And he desperately wanted to lay her on the floor and take her, to lose himself in her, and forget the whole world.

He broke off suddenly, pushing her away. "Get out," he muttered, not looking at her. He refused to look at her. This couldn't happen again.

All he heard were her feet as she left the room hurriedly, slamming the heavy door behind her as she went.

Severus buried his face in his hands. He had done it again. Lost control, and hurt them both in the process.

* * *

They continued with the lessons every day as planned, but neither of them mentioned what had happened, after Aeryn broached the subject and Severus cut her off harshly. Aeryn wanted to tear her hair out in frustration. He was so confusing! And it seemed now there was no warmth in their lessons, just practise, criticize, practise; they never joked about anything, and he never praised her efforts at all. It was all very serious.

Aeryn learned the rudiments of Occlumency fairly fast, and coupled with the Draught of Dreamless Sleep which Severus was brewing for her, she didn't experience nightmares. When she mentioned this to Severus one afternoon a few weeks later during a practise session, he seemed unconvinced. "I suspect you are not experiencing the dreams because the Dark Lord is concentrating his thoughts on someone else at the moment."

"You mean poor Harry," Aeryn asked.

Severus nodded shortly. "He brought it on himself. 'Poor Harry' does not try hard enough at Occlumency. I know he does not practise, but rather goes looking for trouble, so he can be a hero."

When Aeryn looked as though she was about to defend the boy, again, he switched subjects. "How is your Patronus coming along? I certainly hope you have improved; Dementors will undoubtedly be present where ever the Dark Lord is."

Aeryn smiled smugly. "I made a corporeal Patronus last night, actually."

Severus raised his eyes dubiously. "Show me," he commanded curtly.

"Well I don't know if I can make one with you watching me," Aeryn stammered, but was cut off.

"Oh, well I'm sure you can ask the Dementor to turn its back while you conjure one, hmm?" Severus asked sarcastically. Aeryn blushed slightly under his scrutiny.

"Fine, I will try," she muttered. She certainly wasn't in a _happy_ mood right now though. Last night she had been lying on her bed, thinking of Severus and toying with her wand. She had remembered the feeling of being with him, that time in her office, and she realised she never felt so happy as when she was with him, even when he was being a prat. She had conjured a Patronus easily then.

This time she tried to invoke similar feelings, but refused to use Severus as a base. "Expecto Patronum," she muttered, but only a few wisps of vapour came from her wand tip. Severus watched, and his expression spoke volumes. "Failed, again, Professor Allen," he said haughtily.

A light knock at the door interrupted the offensive language that was about to erupt from Aeryn's mouth at his words. Severus held up a hand to silence her. "Enter," he said.

Aeryn tried and failed to hide her disgust when she saw who it was. Gwyneth walked in like she owned Severus's office and immediately launched into a rapid discourse. "Severus, honey you won't _believe_ what – oh, Aeryn dear, what are you doing here?" she asked with a falsely sweet smile on her face, as if Aeryn was some lost ten year old turning up in the wrong place.

Aeryn decided that sarcasm was going to be more amusing that outright abuse. She fixed a vapid expression on her face and tried to act like she had seen Gwyneth do sometimes, only more so. "Oh, Gwyneth dear, how _lovely_ to see you! Sevvy and I were just having tea, and having the most _animated_ discussion about his work."

Gwyneth raised an eyebrow condescendingly, but Severus interrupted. "Enough, Aeryn. Gwyneth, what do you want? We are busy."

Gwyneth flicked one last haughty look Aeryn's way before answering him. "Coming to bring you the news."

"What news?"

"Dumbledore's gone."

Her statement brought blank looks from both the potions master and counsellor. "Gone?" Aeryn repeated.

"Yes, gone," Gwyneth answered impatiently. "There was apparently some big confrontation in the Headmaster's office between him and Umbridge last night, and he turned tail and took off. Umbridge is now Hogwart's Headmistress now. She wanted me to personally deliver the message to you. Severus," she continued, with an ingratiating smile to him, "can we speak alone for a moment?"

Severus had not spoken, or even changed expression through Gwyneth's entire story. He didn't answer her right away, but appeared to be thinking. Snapping out of it he turned briskly to Aeryn. "We will continue this another time." And with no further comment escorted her quickly to the door. Aeryn was about to bombard him with questions when he cut her off. "Not now. Good _night_." And he slammed the door in her face.

Aeryn paused at the door, dawdling, wanting to know what they were saying in there. She leaned in closer to try and hear. "How does that affect you?" she heard Gwyneth's muted voice. "I know that everyone here is aware of your previous status as a Death Eater, but they all believe that you now hang off of Dumbledore's robes. Umbridge in particular is convinced."

"It doesn't affect me one way or the other. We will continue in our mission as before. Umbridge can be taken care of if it becomes necessary." Aeryn's eyes narrowed. What did he mean by that?

"Look, Severus, if this is all becoming too difficult for you – I mean, you have not only one target to keep track of but two...if it helps you, then I can watch the bitch and you can look after the boy. What?" Gwyneth asked suddenly.

"_Muffliato_," was the last thing Aeryn heard before her ears were filled with a buzzing sound. She scurried away from the door, and the sound began to fade. _Dammit_, she thought. Severus was always a cautious man. She doubted he knew she had been there, but he had obviously cast the spell as an extra precaution. What on earth had they been talking about? What bitch? Umbridge, possibly. And what boy? She knew Severus had a dislike of Harry Potter, but Gwyneth had said 'look after' the boy, which she supposed could have two connotations. And Dumbledore being forced from his own school? What was that about?

These thoughts occupied her until she was almost all the way back to her room. She frowned as she recalled the potions master hurrying her from the room so fast she didn't have time to...grab her wand. _Crap_! She thought, she'd left it all the way back down in the dungeon. She grimaced at the thought of walking all the way back down there. She sighed. _Might as well_. Truthfully though, she wanted to ask Severus about what was going on, provided he was still there. Hopefully that harpy had left him alone.

Students were in their dorms, the halls were silent. She enjoyed the quiet and solitude, now more so than a couple of weeks ago when the darkness frightened her. Having been nightmare-free for a few weeks now was liberating, although she still felt some reserves about going to sleep.

There was no sound as she approached the door to Snape's office, noticing it was slightly ajar. The Muffliato spell had either worn off, or, most likely, Gwyneth had left and Severus was still in there. She gently pushed open the door, and her chest constricted at what she saw.

* * *

"Dumbledore's gone."

Gwyneth's statement brought blank looks from both the potions master and counsellor.

"Gone?" Aeryn repeated.

"Yes, gone," Gwyneth answered impatiently. "There was apparently some big confrontation in the Headmaster's office between him and Umbridge last night, and he turned tail and took off. Umbridge is now Hogwart's Headmistress now. She wanted me to personally deliver the message to you," she said, looking at Severus.

Severus barely heard the words after Gwyneth had informed them the old man had left. Dumbledore had told him to expect this very occurrence only two nights ago.

"_Severus, Umbridge and the Ministry are very likely to usurp my position somehow, and most likely that will be soon. If I am evicted, Harry will be even more unprotected, and Voldemort will undoubtedly use the connection between them, now that he is aware of it. You must be vigilant, and keep a closer watch than ever on the boy."_

"Severus, can we speak alone for a moment?" Gwyneth interrupted his recollections.

Severus paused. Potter would most likely know Dumbledore was gone, and would be involved somehow. Probably that pathetic little following he had going. He would find out more details later. Right now, he suspected Gwyneth would want to give him her two cents worth on the situation, and he'd rather Aeryn wasn't involved.

He turned briskly to the girl. "We will continue this another time." He didn't allow her to object, and grasping her by the arm, unceremoniously escorted her to the exit. She looked like she was bursting with questions. "Not now. Good _night_." And he slammed the door in her irate but beautiful face.

He turned to face Gwyneth's amused countenance. He looked at her pointedly, expecting some comment. She shrugged, and continued with their conversation "So Dumbledore is gone. How does that affect you?" she asked. "I know that everyone here is aware of your previous status as a Death Eater, but they all believe that you now hang off of Dumbledore's robes. Umbridge in particular is convinced."

"It doesn't affect me one way or the other. We will continue in our mission as before. Umbridge can be taken care of if it becomes necessary," he said shortly.

"Look, Severus, if this is all becoming too difficult for you – I mean, you have not only one target to keep track of but two...if it helps you, then I can watch the bitch and you can look after the boy."

Severus held up his finger for silence, interrupting her. "What?" Gwyneth asked.

"_Muffliato_," Severus muttered, pointing at the door. He didn't want any random person overhearing their conversation by chance. "Have a little more discretion, please, Miss Gillies. This is a school, and I'd rather your fascinating points of view weren't shared," he said, annoyed.

Gwyneth signed and brushed her hair off her face. "I'm sorry. Severus, maybe I could - "

"Maybe you could leave. I'm very busy at the moment; your timing is off today." He headed towards the door, and opening it, briskly indicated for her to leave. She had cut short his time with Aeryn, and he was irrationally annoyed.

Gwyneth glared sullenly at him, and walked slowly past. "Shall I go and get your slut for you?" she hissed.

Severus grabbed her wrist, unsure of his intentions but sure he wanted to do some harm to the red-headed bitch. At her sudden gasp of pain though, he let go. He didn't think he had grabbed her that hard. She looked at him mutinously, tears starting in her eyes.

At his questioning, although sneering, look, she mutely held up her wrist, and folding back her robes, exposed raw, bloodied flesh, with the word 'faith' cut in deep lines on the back of her wrist. "Interesting look," was all he said. He wasn't sure he wanted to know how she had received such a wound.

She walked back into the room and sat at the chair in front of his desk. Without looking at him, she spoke in a dull monotone, almost as if she was embarrassed. "I questioned the Dark Lord - his actions – yesterday. His response was to let Bellatrix 'teach me to have more faith' as he so eloquently put it." Severus came and stood next to her, but didn't say anything, leaving the door slightly ajar. "I was forbidden to heal it," Gwyneth went on, and her voice broke a little. "He said I had to leave it there for the next time I questioned him."

She stood up, and began to pace the small room. Her fingers shaped into talons. "I hate how that bitch - who is no more loyal than me - is by his side. He never questions her."

"Bellatrix's loyalty is almost as fervent as my own," Severus said calmly. "Her methods of showing it are...a little extreme, but you shouldn't question it either."

Gwyneth came back to stand in front of Severus, her fingers winding tightly into his lapels. "Don't you see, Severus? It's you and me – we're the ones who are the most loyal, we should be by his side all the time, not banished to this school to perform remedial tasks. We should be _together_, by his side; his most trusted confidantes, and he should reward us," she said passionately.

Severus looked away uncomfortably. He was slightly embarrassed by her fervent speech. And a little disgusted. He hated the Dark Lord, and yet had to play the facade of being as awed by him as this woman was. He looked back into her emerald eyes, and she took that moment to press against him. "Severus," she whispered, still passionate. "Please. You know I want you. If you don't want a relationship, that's fine. But I want you in some way, and I know you want me. I would love it if you said you wanted nobody but me, but I'll settle for satisfying you physically," she breathed against his mouth.

He wanted to push her away. He didn't find her attractive, but his body was betraying him. It had been too long since he had been with a woman, and Gwyneth was all but lying down and spreading her legs for him. His close exposure to Aeryn almost every day was the worst thing, but he knew she was the one he really wanted. An image of the girl floated before his eyes, so clearly.

Gwyneth pressed her mouth to his, and before he knew what he was doing, he was kissing her back, some mistaken part of his mind seeing a blonde-haired woman in front of him.

There was a gasp from the entrance. Severus and Gwyneth broke apart, and he roughly pushed her away as she tried to hold onto him. When he saw Aeryn standing in the doorway, her face pale with shock, acute shame washed its way through him. "My wand..." Aeryn choked out. "I left my wand...the door was open." He watched her take a short, gasping breath. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt," she said as she quickly retrieved her wand and left, leaving Gwyneth and Severus standing there, one feeling triumph, the other despair.


	16. Chapter 16: Barriers

**Thank you so much to everyone who has left me a review, and also to all my anonymous readers, even if you haven't said anything, the fact that you haven't said anything negative is also great :) haha**

**oooh, it's getting exciting now. **

* * *

CHAPTER 16

Aeryn tore blindly up the halls leading to her room, not even aware of the objects crashing to the floor in her wake. Only when a suit of armour made such a racket when it fell that it shook her into awareness did she realise she was out of control. For a moment she was grateful that it was night and the halls were empty, until she heard a bellow from around the corner. "_Peeves_! I've told you to leave those suits of armour alone! The Headmistress told you! She'll chuck you out for this, Peeves!"

Of course Filch would be about - the cantankerous old man and his familiar never slept. Aeryn made a dash for her room, shutting the door silently behind her, and leaning against the wooden frame as she heard him stumble past her room.

She walked absently into the dark chamber. The silent darkness only promoted the return of the images she didn't want to remember. Gwyneth and Severus..._together_. The proof was irrefutable - she had witnessed it with her own eyes. With a sob she threw herself on the bed.

How could he? He only kissed her –again - in his office a few weeks ago! Even if it was only in anger...but he had _kissed_ her! Did that mean nothing to him? _I only want you for one thing_, _Aeryn_, came his voice from her memory. Aeryn jumped from the bed and began pacing the room agitatedly, not even caring when the bookshelf emptied itself and books began flying chaotically around the room.

She felt so gutted, but in all her despair she couldn't rationally blame him. They had never been together to begin with, and the one time she had pressed the issue she had been forcibly rebuked. But in the hours they had spent together recently, Aeryn had almost convinced herself that maybe there was something there on his part, even if they fought all the time. Something in his eyes when he looked at her sometimes... He had kissed her, although why she wasn't sure. He cared enough to give up his valuable time to train her, to help her protect herself against Voldemort. So why was he so confusing then?

"Argh!" she yelled, and struck out at the bedside table with her foot. The pain in her foot attested to the strength she had kicked it with, and took away the ache in her chest for a moment. So she kicked it repeatedly.

It was all crap! How could she be so stupid as to think there would be something between them? She tried to look at it from an outsider's point of view. Of course he was coaching her; that was on Dumbledore's instructions! He had been _told_ to give up his time and help her. He wasn't going out of his way to spend time with her, it wasn't his idea. This whole 'attraction' between them was all in her head!

So they had kissed a couple of times, what did that really mean? Obviously nothing! He had probably been with Gwyneth for months. Longer maybe. How could any man not be attracted to her - she was so beautiful, talented, and engaging. Aeryn had heard her playing the harpsichord once, and was amazed at the musical ability of the woman. And no wonder the other woman was such a smug, vindictive little tramp whenever Aeryn was around – she probably recognised the attraction Aeryn felt for the potions master – _her_ potions master, not Aeryn's.

Finally, hours later, the loud churning in her mind settled to a dull roar, and she lay on the bed and tried to sleep. The books had found their place on the floor, eventually. In her agitation, though, she didn't clear her mind before she slept, which had been Severus's instructions repeatedly before she left his office every day. And she had been careful to do it every night, except tonight. The turmoil in her mind kept her from clearing it.

And Voldemort, of course, happened to pick this night to pick up their 'relationship' where it had left off. But with an unexpected outcome.

* * *

Aeryn recognised the oppressive blackness which seemed to begin the nightmare every time, but it didn't last as long as normal. She felt a cold embrace against her bare back, a hand squeezing her breast painfully, and a hiss in her ear. The moment she realised what was happening though, she cleared her mind. It was hard – the dream blurred around the edges, then grew clearer, but as Aeryn's concentration deepened, it began to fade. Aeryn felt a sense of anger that didn't belong to her, just as it dissolved completely.

She woke briefly, smiled, rolled over, and went back to sleep. A dreamless sleep.

* * *

The Dark Lord's eyes snapped open. An intense, steady rage began to brew in him. She had been taught to block her thoughts from him! His eyes narrowed and he bared his teeth slightly. How? When? It had only been a few weeks since he had invaded her dreams – how could she have learned so much in so short a time?

The girl, however, could wait. If she didn't come to him as he had planned, he would send someone for her. In the meantime, he had a prophecy to acquire, and it was almost within his grasp.

* * *

Aeryn's awoke, and stared at the wall for a long time, trying to understand the heavy feeling about her this morning. She shut her eyes as she remembered the previous day, and she rolled over and buried her face into her pillow, somehow trying to block the thoughts from her mind.

Giving up, she arose and sluggishly tried to get ready for the day. Her thoughts continued to dwell on what she had witnessed the day before, and she chided herself for spending so much time thinking about Severus. She grimaced as she realised she would have to see him this afternoon for their defence lesson.

She stood under the hot water of the shower and imagined the water clearing the thoughts from her mind. It was almost a purification ritual – everything that was before today would stay in the past; she would let nothing interfere with her life from now. Severus had repeatedly made his feelings clear, and he obviously had someone in his life anyway. She had to shut that door on her life and move on.

Emerging from the shower, she got dressed, taking a little more care with her appearance than she normally did, choosing light grey teachers robes that contrasted with her dark eyes. The past few months had been trying for her, and personal appearance seemed to go on the back shelf when she awoke each morning feeling wretched. After last night, though, she felt amazing, and decided that for once she would dress as a teacher, not as a homeless bum with no employment.

She smiled as she realised she had taken a huge step in taking back her life, and had progressed more than she had ever dreamed – she grinned at the pun - with Occlumency. She wasn't sure what it would mean eventually, whether the Dark Lord would get revenge on her somehow. But for now, she might have some peace.

As her long blonde hair dried she brushed it to a lustrous shine, and decided to plait it rather than roughly pulling it back into a loose bun like she normally wore. The end result fell halfway down her back in a thick rope.

In the time it took to finish dressing, she decided to discontinue her Occlumency lessons with Snape. She didn't know it, but she was shutting herself off from him, putting her crushed feelings into a little box marked 'Too Hard' and storing it away. Aeryn didn't want to see him, afraid that some part of her would fall to her knees in front of him and beg him to love her instead of Gwyneth, but in her pride she knew she would rather die than belittle herself to him in any way.

She smiled into the mirror before she left to go down to the Great Hall for breakfast. It was hard, but she felt hopeful. The smile stayed there as she left the room.

* * *

Severus watched agitatedly for the first sign of the counsellor that morning for breakfast. After his embarrassing encounter last night, Gwyneth had tried to entice him back to her rooms to continue their 'discussion', but he had not been inclined, and sharply responded negatively to her invitation. It was madness to think that he had kissed her. His stomach churned as he remembered it, and he felt somehow dirty, tainted.

He didn't feel guilty – he had no reason to. There was no understanding between him and the blonde woman, there never had been. _There never will be_, he amended slightly. His attraction for her was undeniable, but he doubted any part of it was reciprocated, and therefore he had no need to explain his actions. But some part of him wanted to see how Aeryn reacted to him this morning.

Gwyneth, of course, had brushed close by him and murmured "Good morning," in a low voice, as she moved to take her place further down the table, but he had ignored her from where he sat in his usual seat. The place next to him, usually occupied by Aeryn, was still empty, and he surreptitiously watched as the hall began to steadily fill with more students arising for the morning.

Finally, though, he spotted her making her way through the masses to take her seat next to him. "Good morning," she said brightly to him with a smile on her face. She didn't seem bothered at all, he realised, and he was surprised to find he was disappointed. But he also noted that she spoke to Aurora, seated on her other side, in the same tone she had used on him – polite, friendly, but impersonal. He frowned slightly.

He wanted to talk to her, but didn't know what about, and there were too many witnesses around. He didn't want people to get the wrong impression - they had already been spending so much time together. Besides, she had a notebook and a quill out and was scribbling in it as she ate her cereal – it looked like shorthand for some lesson plans. Not a word was spoken between them; it was if he wasn't there. It didn't seem like a deliberate attempt, more like she was too busy. As soon as she finished eating, she got up, smiled at him once again and said "See you later," and left the room.

Severus realised he hadn't eaten anything yet, instead he'd been sitting there like a love struck fool watching her every move. Well, he thought, at least she wasn't angry with him. And he could gouge her mood later in their lesson this afternoon.

When the regular time for their lesson came and went, however, he was not feeling so cordial towards her. He had waited in his office patiently for her to turn up, watching the clock and not expecting anything to differ from their normal routine. An hour later though, he was angry. She hadn't even bothered to send him a note saying she couldn't make it.

Suddenly a cold fear gripped him. What if something had happened to her? What if right now she was in the Dark Lord's clutches? Dumbledore was gone; there was no one but him to help her. The thought spurred him on as he almost ran along the corridors leading to her office. He would have run, but he didn't dare draw unwanted attention to himself, not with Umbridge in power.

Severus burst into Aeryn's office, then stopped dead at the sight of her leaning against the desk with a fourth year boy seated in the chair next to her. Both turned and looked at him in surprise. "Er...excuse me, Professor Snape, can I help you with something?" she had the gall to ask.

He gathered his composure and tried to keep his face a blank mask. What he really wanted to do was strangle her. "My apologies, Professor Allen. I didn't realise you had someone in here with you. I believe we had a meeting scheduled for an hour and half ago."

Aeryn walked back around her desk and sat down, looking at the boy. "Please excuse us, Travis. We will continue this at your session next week." The boy nodded and left silently, skirting around the black figure in the doorway.

Aeryn began tidying up papers strewn about her desk, not looking at him. "I decided to stop the lessons," Aeryn explained calmly. "I seem to be able to control my dreams now, so I'm going to continue on my own, and stop wasting your time." Severus looked more closely at her. Aeryn's hair was different today, although he wasn't sure why he noticed. And she had on a different colour to what she normally wore. But she still wasn't looking at him.

Severus shut the door and came and stood before her ominously, the desk separating them. "_You_ decided to stop the lessons?" he asked scathingly. "And what makes you so confident you can protect yourself? And why in Merlin's name did you not consult with me on the matter? You talk about not wasting my time, when I've just wasted an hour and half waiting for you in my office!"

Aeryn looked at him in mild surprise. "Sorry," she shrugged. "I guess it just slipped my mind. I meant to tell you, but I've been so busy today." She blessed him with another smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Well at least now we have that all sorted out, you can continue your work, and I can continue with mine."

"Not on my watch, you won't. Dumbledore may be gone, but he gave me explicit instructions to continue your training."

"That was weeks ago. I'm sure he would be discontinuing them if he was here," Aeryn returned exasperatedly.

Severus clenched his fists and tried to control the irrational anger he felt at her nonchalance. "You told me at breakfast you would be at your lesson," he said with false calm.

Aeryn looked at him blankly. "No, I don't think I did."

"You did. You said '_see you later_."

Aeryn rolled her eyes. She tapped the paperwork that was sitting in neat piles and they floated towards the filing cabinet. "I meant _in general_, Severus, not specifically. I wasn't referring to seeing you at the lesson," she said airily. Finally she turned to look at him, and for once he couldn't read her face. "I'm sorry I inconvenienced you. It was very inconsiderate, and I will try to be more thoughtful in future when considering your needs."

She was _patronising_ him! How dare she? Severus gritted his teeth. For once, she was controlling herself and he was losing it. The thought made him even angrier. "You will come with me, _now_, and we will continue your lessons as normal. Do you understand me?" he asked in a soft voice that carried an undertone of violence.

Aeryn raised her eyebrows. "I'm sorry, Professor, but I'm very busy right now."

Severus changed tactics. "What makes you so sure you're able to protect your mind?"

Aeryn looked away, as if she wasn't really paying attention to him. It brought another spike of anger. "You-Know-Who tried to invade my dreams again last night. I pushed him out." She said it as if it was an everyday occurrence.

Severus was nonplussed, but didn't show it. "Fine," he said in a carefully neutral voice. "Come down to my office, and show me how much you've improved since yesterday. If you can manage to keep me out, we'll call it quits."

Aeryn looked back at him suspiciously, as if gouging the truth of his words. "OK. But I can't spare you much time, Severus. I have a lot to do today." And she walked to the door, leaving _him_ to follow _her_.

Aeryn, in truth, had very little to do. She had been trying to fill her hours, trying to _make_ herself busy so as to not get caught with him, or caught thinking of him. She was incredibly angry, not to mention hurt, but she felt she didn't have a basis on which to chastise the potions master. Her emotional turmoil was great, but she was proud of the way she had been handling it. Not a single thing had been destroyed, and she had remained pleasant throughout the entire exchange, even when she wanted to claw his eyes out. And it had given her great satisfaction to watch _him_ lose control for once. The thought brought a smug smirk to her face.

Severus was as angry as the girl walking beside and slightly in front of him. He knew it was irrational, and fought for control. At least, he fought not to show it. He saw the satisfied grin on Aeryn's face, and fought harder as the anger rose in him. She was deliberately goading him. She was also deliberately avoiding him today. Why? Was she, in fact, angry at him for the encounter she had witnessed last night with Gwyneth? Surely it was only a sense of female pride that was bruised. In the past, she had shown him – what, affection? Lust, maybe. All women had a lust for power. And yet that persona didn't seem to fit the young woman. He had seen something in her eyes the day he had kissed her in her office, but nothing to convince him that her feelings were anything more than a mild crush, and nothing about her gave him the impression it was his position either at this school or as a spy that attracted her. And he hadn't seen anything resembling lust or attraction from her all year, so he assumed that whatever she felt towards him had faded. So it must be pride. Pride he could understand, but he wanted to know for sure.

They reached his office. He shut the door behind them, and watched as she calmly walked to the centre of the room and turned to face him, her wand out and held negligently in one hand.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

"What, no preliminaries? No lectures to start the lesson? Really, Snape, I thought you were a teacher." Aeryn said. She had called him _Snape_, not Severus. He always liked to hear his name from her. He looked at her face closely, and realised that there _was_ anger there, and she was masking it, almost effectually. He saw it in the flat look in her eyes.

"You wanted to get this lesson over and done with as quickly as possible. I am obliging," he answered simply.

Severus pointed his wand at her, and raised his eyebrow in a challenge. She looked back at him calmly, but raised her chin a notch.

_Legilimens_, Severus intoned silently.

There was a barrier. She _had_ learned fast. He broke through it and saw flashes from her life. Nothing concrete, but he was inside her head. He felt her anger that he had got in so fast, and then suddenly the images were gone. She had successfully blocked him. He kept his face carefully blank as he lowered his wand. Her lip quirked slightly.

Severus tried harder. Again he saw flashes, and for a moment, he saw his face from her perspective. The moment that happened though, she shut him out again. He also felt a slight feeling of - fear? Consternation? – the moment she blocked him, and it piqued his desire to see further.

He needed to distract her a little, test her mettle. He broke contact with her briefly to send a Stunning spell her way. She blocked it successfully, but it broke her concentration for a moment, and in that moment, he attacked with his mind again. He felt the barrier that was there and blocking her innermost thoughts, and he pushed against it, hard. She snarled at him and he had to block a Hex, but returned with one in kind. More hexes and curses were exchanged, but after ten minutes of this, Severus still had made no ground.

"What is going on here?" a voice demanded, intruding on their private battle. Both Aeryn and Severus lowered their wands, Aeryn breathing hard, Severus barely out of breath. "A little private instruction, Minerva." He responded coolly. "What do you want?" he bluntly asked.

Minerva stood in the doorway, her arms akimbo. She looked at Severus steadily. "I was after Aeryn, actually. One of the Weasley boys said they saw you headed in this direction. Did you still want to have dinner tonight, Aeryn dear?"

Severus interrupted. "We aren't finished here. She will join you when I am done with her." he said a little sulkily.

Both women looked at him, one with surprise, one with irritation. "I can answer for myself, thank you, Snape." Aeryn responded acidly.

Minerva shook her head slightly, but there was a small smile playing about her lips. "Never mind, I can see I've interrupted something important." She turned to leave. "Oh, incidentally, Severus. Gwyneth was looking for you like a woman with a mission. She said you weren't down here earlier." She hesitated slightly, and frowned. "That woman is after you," she said shaking her finger at the younger man.

Severus responded with annoyance. "I will speak to her later."

Aeryn didn't hear the rest. The control she had kept in place all day was threatening to break at the mention of her rival's name. _Later? As in, in your rooms?_ she wanted desperately to know. Her hands were shaking, and she tried to quell the insane jealousy that ripped through her.

She took a deep breath and found that Minerva was gone and Severus had his wand pointed at her. _Wait_! Her mind was most definitely not clear. _I'm not ready_, she thought with alarm, but Severus was, and used that to his advantage.

If Aeryn's mind had been a stone wall, Severus would have been the battering ram that hit it. He penetrated her mind so hard and fast that Aeryn didn't have time to catch her breath. In horror she watched him bypass the barrier she had carefully protected as if it wasn't there.

Severus's eyes gleamed in triumph. He had found her innermost vulnerability.

He saw himself, again and again, inside that cache, and his triumph turned to confusion.

He saw the way Aeryn watched him constantly, how she felt his presence even across the room, and the feelings that accompanied the sight of him - security, warmth, lust and –

"NO!" Aeryn screamed. Half the contents held in glass jars in the room shattered, and the big wooden desk gave a great lurch sideways. She fell to her knees and buried her face in her hands, her plait swinging over her shoulder, as complete silence reigned.

For about thirty seconds there was no sound, only the steady _drip, drip_ of the liquid falling off the shelf onto the floor.

"Love?" Severus finally choked out, his mind slowly comprehending. "You're in love with me." It was not a question.

Aeryn's hands fell slowly from her face, but she only looked at the floor. "You weren't supposed to know," she said, her voice breaking twice. "You were never supposed to know." And with a sob she fled from the room, leaving Severus to stare at the open door.

* * *

**weeee :) it's out in the open now..**


	17. Chapter 17: Truths

**Right, well I'm not so great at writing mushy stuff, and with Severus the term 'mushy' doesn't really work, so here goes. Tell me what you think?**

* * *

CHAPTER 17

Severus stood very still for a long time after Aeryn had gone. His mind was grappling with the images and feelings he had just forcibly experienced, and he was trying to make sense of them.

There was absolutely no doubt in his mind about what he had seen. Aeryn was in love with him. In _love_ with _him_. If he hadn't felt it for himself he would never have believed it. No one had ever loved him before - it was not an emotion he dealt with. No one had ever demonstrated anything even slightly resembling it in all his life that he could recall. Oh, there was affection from his mother, and friendship from Lily. Compassion from Dumbledore and respect from Minerva, but absolute, I-would-die-for-you, head-over-heels _love_, was something he was totally unfamiliar with, and totally unprepared for.

He ran his fingers roughly through his black hair, and the action provoked an image he had seen from Aeryn's mind, and the feelings that accompanied it, of the time she had sat next to him in his room and brushed his hair. She had enjoyed tending to him like that, and the closeness that was between them at the time. The memory played out in his mind, moving on to when shortly after she had run her fingers through his hair, standing close to him, feeling the warmth from his body or the smell that was uniquely his. He didn't realise she liked his _smell_. The thought seemed a bit odd to him until he realised that the same thing applied to him – that he had breathed her scent nearly every time they had stood close enough to each other.

He ran his fingers through his hair again, and huffed agitatedly. He wasn't sure how he had inspired these feelings from her, but the proof was right in front of his mind's eye – she had watched every move he made, remembered everything that was said, every glance, or touch, and relished every moment they spent together, even when he was yelling at her. He felt the cutting edge of jealousy when she had met Gwyneth, and the overpowering ache that filled her when she had walked in on them kissing.

He sighed again. She had hid it so well. From someone whose emotional control was usually so limited, she had hidden herself and her thoughts from him effectually, even during their practise sessions with Occlumency. He had read her mind once before, months ago with her permission, and at the time was startled at the depth of her emotions, and the intensity of them. This was no different. She loved him with as much intensity as a person could hold, and he was a little in awe of the feelings he invoked.

Looking around the room, his lips pursed. There was glass everywhere, and the contents of the jars were splattered all over the walls, the floor, even some on the ceiling. He smiled wryly. She still couldn't quite get a handle on controlling the forbidden power she contained, he thought as he slowly took a seat in his chair. Then his smile dropped, and his face turned grim. That power was relished by the Dark Lord. He had marked Aeryn out as his own.

An insane emotion that Severus couldn't identify ripped its way though his midsection at that thought. He still refused to put a name to the feelings he had for her, but since _her_ feelings had become apparent, some small part of him had been subtly planning for a change in their relationship. He had toyed with the idea of going to her, gathering her up in his arms and going back to his room, losing himself in her, and never leaving her.

Severus rested his mouth against his closed fist as he thought about the implications of that. But the harsh reality was that it was impossible. She was not his. Even if he could put aside all of his trepidations and throw caution into the wind, she would never be his while the Dark Lord was alive. They would never be safe.

And that damned vow! Severus's brows drew together. Watching over the son of Lily Evans, a boy who had no ideas on self-preservation whatsoever, who was in fact as reckless and arrogant as his father...he was fighting a losing battle. To keep him alive for the sake of a woman he had once loved – what was the point? He shook his head. Anything that would help in bringing the demise of his worst enemy was worth it. He must keep Harry alive, for Lily's memory, for Dumbledore's mission, for his own life. And to do that, Severus knew he had to do his job as a spy well, and starting a relationship with Aeryn only put a target over his head. And hers.

He stood up. He had to make her understand somehow.

* * *

While down in the lower levels of the castle, where Severus's dungeons were, Aeryn fairly flew along the corridor. When she reached the stairs leading up, up to where there would be witnesses to her plight, she stopped. She leaned against the wall, trying to catch her breath, as she wiped the wetness from her face from shaking hands. She rested her head against the wall and closed her eyes, steadying her breathing. Severus's face swam before her closed eyes, and she felt tears welling up again. _No! You can think about this and have hysterics later, but only when you reach your office. No one will bother you there; no one will see you having your little break down._

She took a deep breath and plastered a blank expression on her face. A smile was more than she could manage. She avoided looking at anyone while she walked steadily to her office. Once there, she closed and locked the door.

Leaning her head against the cool wood she let the tears fall. He knew. It was out. Her whole soul had been laid bare before him, and she knew now that she wouldn't get away with that unscarred. He would be disgusted. He would want nothing to do with her and her unwanted attentions. She thought he barely tolerated her as it was. He would probably tell Gwyneth of her little 'crush' and they would laugh at her together.

Aeryn leaned back from the door and shook her head. Walking slowly to her desk and sitting down, she began to pull out some paperwork to finalise before the end of the year that was only a few weeks away, but after twenty minutes was ready to give up. She couldn't concentrate. She had to keep wiping her eyes, or shaking her head to dispel the unwanted imagery that kept invading. She crossed her arms on the desk and laid her head in them, eyes open and staring at the dim hardwood in front of them.

After about an hour of letting the thoughts and images just wash over her, she sat up. She tugged angrily on the braid that had fallen over her shoulder, and scowled to the empty room. "Get a hold of yourself," she muttered. She made herself a cup of coffee and sat back down at her desk, determined - no, desperate - to keep herself busy and to give her head a break.

A knock at the door made her jump. It was getting late, nearly everyone had gone to bed by now, she thought. Thinking it was Minerva, she flicked her wand at the door, unlocking it.

Her heart fell into her stomach when she saw the tall dark figure of the potions master in the doorway, and she jumped up so fast the chair fell over backwards.

"We need to talk," Severus said gravely, as he entered the room and shut the door behind him.

Aeryn couldn't look at him, but instead looked at her fingers resting on the edge of the desk. "What do we need to talk about?" she enquired with a carefully blank face.

"You know very well what we need to talk about," he said flatly. She heard him pace in front of the desk, and could feel the force of his eyes on her, but she couldn't look at him.

Severus wished he could see her eyes, and watched her face carefully as she spoke. "I have nothing to say," she said softly.

This wasn't starting off well, and Severus wanted to see her eyes. "Look at me when you are talking to me," he commanded softly.

Aeryn looked reluctantly into his black eyes, but couldn't read his expression, and only knew he looked agitated. _He must be coming to tell me to keep my feelings to myself_, she thought numbly. _Probably abusively._ She drew a quick breath and fixed her eyes to somewhere above his head. "What you saw in my head before was none of your business. I have tried to keep my feelings in check, and you have made yours abundantly clear, which is why I have done nothing about them," she said quickly in a monotone. "I understand also that you are - are with Gwyneth," she choked a little here, but continued, "and it isn't my intention to force my attentions on you, so you can stop worrying."

Severus looked at her in annoyance. "I'm not _with_ anybody, so you can stop acting like a little drama queen."

Aeryn closed her eyes. One of the great weights that had been holding her down suddenly lifted. She opened her eyes. It still didn't mean anything. "Then what are you here for?" she asked.

Severus looked uncomfortable, and turned to look out of the dark window. "To...to talk, about - about what I saw. We need to get things straight," he said.

Aeryn had never seen him struggle for words so hard before. She had the feeling he was somewhat embarrassed by this whole thing. "Like I said, I won't force my attentions on you. Just because I love you doesn't mean you return the feelings," she said softly. He didn't answer. "Does it?"

Silence. "Severus?" she prompted softly. "Please answer the question, and then we can put all this behind us." He still did not answer, but she saw his shoulder droop and he seemed to hunch over.

Aeryn's mouth fell open and she leaned weakly against her desk. "Oh...God. You...do you feel the same way?" She tried to keep the insane hope from her voice. Her heart was pounding like a possessed thing in her chest, and she was trembling.

She wanted to see his face. Why wouldn't he just answer the question?

She walked over to the silent figure and stood before him. When he raised his black eyes to hers, she saw such a tortured expression that she instinctively reached for him. He backed away from her sharply. "Don't!" he snapped. "Do you have any idea what sort of position you've put me in?" he snarled.

Aeryn's mouth opened in shock. "What-what do you mean?" she stammered.

Severus angrily walked away from her, and for one moment she thought he was going to leave. At the door, he turned to face her. "You-" he pointed a finger at her, and seemed to struggle with his words. "If you...if I hadn't seen what I saw..." he ran his fingers agitatedly through his hair.

He paused and took a deep breath, valiantly trying to regain his self-control. "It was easier, for me, before," he started. When she shook her head slightly in confusion he continued. "Before I knew how you felt, I never seriously considered the possibility. It was easier to bear, thinking that you didn't return my...my feelings, and that there was no chance that you and I could-could ever be anything together.

"But you have been marked out by the Dark Lord! You are his! This," he said, indicating the both of them, "can never happen. That's all there is to it," he said harshly.

"I am _not_ his," Aeryn spat with a disgusted look on her face. "How can you even say that? Don't I get a choice in the matter? Or have you given up on me entirely? Should I just carve a skull with a snake coming out of it on my arm now, or wait until it's definite?" she said sarcastically.

Severus flinched slightly, as if the thought of that image on her skin was abhorrent to him, and he looked at the floor sullenly. "I never said that," he muttered.

"Then what's your real excuse?" Aeryn cried. "You say that you have feelings for me, and you certainly know how I feel for you, but that it's not that simple? I think it can be, but you're just afraid." Her voice shook with suppressed anger.

She recoiled from the look of rage on his features. "Don't ever say that," he snarled. "I have given more than you could ever know to this cause, and I'm not about to throw it away just to-"

"To what? _Just_ to be with me? Am I some sort of consolation prize?" The books on the bookshelf suddenly burst from their shelves and scattered all over the floor. Aeryn didn't know how involved he was with the Dark Lord, but right now she didn't care. She was furious, and hurt, and just at the moment she had seen some hope he had snatched it from her. "You claim to feel something for me, Severus, but I can't even see _how_ if you're going to hide behind your position as his lackey!"

A red haze clouded Severus's vision. How dare she call him the Dark Lord's lackey? His whole adult life had been devoted to his downfall; he had put his life on the line every day of it, bringing information to Dumbledore and supplying false information to the Dark Lord. He had suffered under the Cruciatus Curse, as well as other forms of torture, just to protect the son of Lily Potter, and here was this woman calling him his _lackey_? And using it as an excuse to avoid her?

In three quick long strides he was across the room. Aeryn saw the anger on his face and backed up so fast her knees hit the chaise and she fell onto it. Severus jerked her up impatiently, against his hard frame, and his mouth swooped down to claim hers in a punishing, brutal kiss. His open mouth slanted across hers, and he held her tightly, almost as if he was trying to absorb her into him.

Suddenly he realised that his face was wet, wet with her tears. She had her eyes tightly shut and she was trembling, straining away from him and his punishing embrace in fright. He suddenly comprehended what he was doing, and his grip softened, but he didn't let go. He had never meant to hurt her so much, but his self-restraint was pushed to the limit, in more ways than one. He had to show her what she meant to him.

His lips lowered once more. Aeryn saw them coming and tried to push him away, but the gentleness of this kiss stilled her into silence. His mouth moved gently across her lips, searching, soothing, and she opened her mouth in response. Her arms crept up his chest and entwined in his hair as she arched into him. She felt a hardness against her stomach.

Suddenly she pulled back and slapped him across the face. "Get off! You prick! You've told me before you only wanted me for one thing. You only feel _lust_ for me Severus, and if you think I'm going to fall into bed with you just because of how I feel then you've got another thing coming! I'm not going to give that to you!" she screeched.

Severus gave her a little shake. "Stop it!" he growled when she continued to struggle. "Aeryn! I love you!" he snapped. She looked at him in surprise, and ceased her struggles. "I love you," he continued more gently. "But we can never be together. There is too much danger, and I have...I have promises to keep, and I can't keep them and worry about you at the same time. Please believe me. This..this is the hardest thing I've even had to do."

Aeryn's eyes clouded with pain, and after a moment, acceptance. As hard as it was for her to accept, or even understand, she knew he couldn't give her what she wanted.

"Then just give me now," she said in a choked voice. "If you can't give me forever then just give me now. I promise I won't inflict myself on you after that," she mumbled.

Severus complied willingly. Pulling her tightly against him, he kissed her with all the feeling he now knew he possessed. She crushed her small body against his tightly, and this time revelled in the hardness against her stomach. Tears crept from her closed eyelids as she realised she would never have anything else from this man, but she could tell he was trying to show her how he felt in this kiss.

Their tongues entwined, and their breathing was hot and fast. Severus moved his hands restlessly over Aeryn's body; up her back, around over her breasts, and finally pulling her hips against his and holding her there.

He had to end it. It would only be harder the longer this went on, and he was fast approaching that point where he would just throw her on the floor and ease himself in her, but he knew once that step was taken he would never be able to leave. He separated their lips, and buried his face in her neck, holding her close. Aeryn had a death grip around his neck, but he knew she would let go when he asked her to.

He moved slightly. Aeryn's grip tightened, then slackened, as she let him go. He took a step back, and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Just friends, now," he murmured. She nodded, unable to speak, but another tear fell from her eye. "I think..." he paused. "I think it would be best if we didn't see each other more than we have to," he said softly. Aeryn nodded again, wanting to hold him to her and beg him to stay.

He kissed her once more, lightly, and then turned and left, leaving an awful feeling of emptiness in Aeryn's arms.

* * *

**ahhhh the sexual tension :) should be relieved in the next chapter, which I have already written :-) shall i post it or leave you all fidgeting? **


	18. Chapter 18: Passion

**WARNING: SMUT AHEAD :)**

**No seriously, I'm blushing, cos this is as explicit as it gets. So if you don't like that stuff, then skip this chapter and you can guess that they obviously get together. (FINALLY!)**

* * *

The final weeks of term passed slowly for Aeryn. She barely saw Severus at all, and when she did they were never alone. Although she knew this was what he wanted, she hungrily watched for any sign of him throughout the day. When they did meet they rarely spoke, and when they did talk they only discussed mundane happenings. Aeryn was adamant that her resolve not to press him further than he wanted would remain strong.

Only one time did her determination weaken. She hadn't seen Severus in days, but he had, for some reason, come to the staffroom for morning tea along with the other teachers. Gwyneth was also there – another person Aeryn had been avoiding – and she was talking animatedly to the potions master. When Gwyneth placed her hand on Severus's arm and leaned into him as she spoke, Aeryn's jealousy spiked and she lost control for one second, and the crystal vase that was on the table next to the red haired woman shattered.

Severus glanced around at Aeryn while everyone else looked at the fragments in perplexity. She looked back at him with wide-eyed innocence and shrugged, turning away.

Apart from that, Aeryn was strong, and even though a great weight lay on her like a mountain, she didn't press Severus into more than he was willing to give.

* * *

It must have been about 11 o'clock, and Severus had only just finished working in his dungeon after marking the final of the OWL and NEWT papers, and was heading to bed. Climbing the stairs to the fourth floor, he headed down the corridor that led to his sleeping quarters. Refusing to even look at the door that he knew held a sleeping, blonde haired girl behind it, he continued up the corridor, but something made him stop. He turned, and heard the sound again. There were sounds coming from Aeryn's room; crying, sobbing, and as he grew closer, it sounded like she was begging someone to stop doing whatever it was they were doing.

Alarmed, he drew his wand, pointed it at the door and cracked "Alohomora!" and the door sprang back. Rushing inside, he looked around quickly for an intruder, but instead saw Aeryn thrashing on the bed, caught in the throes of another nightmare. Rushing to her side, and putting his wand away, he called her name, but to no effect. Grasping her bare shoulders, he tried to shake her awake, and repeatedly called her name, but she seemed unable to break from the prison of sleep. Finally, he slapped her sharply across the face, and shook her again, and called her name loudly. Suddenly she jerked, her eyes opened, and she sucked a deep, choking breath into her lungs as if she had just been rescued from drowning. As she exhaled, a sob escaped from her lips, and she locked her arms around his neck. "Severus," she choked out. Her body shook with tremors, and she seemed to be holding her breath to prevent more cries from escaping, but the effort of suppressing them was too great, and she began to cry – deep, wrenching sobs that shook her entire body.

Severus was at a loss for what to do, so he just held her, rubbing her back and stroking her hair, while within an insane anger began to build. It was obvious the Dark Lord was invading her dreams again, and considering his actions of the past, Snape could only guess what he was doing to her while she was trapped in her own mind.

Aeryn struggled valiantly to gain control of herself, and gradually her sobs quietened. She pulled back slightly to look at his face, to gauge his mood. "I thought they were finished," she mumbled. "I haven't had a visit from him in months. I thought the nightmares were over and done with."

"Have you been practising your mental exercises every night?" Severus asked.

Aeryn looked down. "Not every night. Not for the last few weeks, actually. I didn't think I needed to anymore." She felt his disapproving glare on her face like a heat lamp, and squirmed uncomfortably.

An image from her dream flashed through her mind suddenly, and she shuddered, clenching her eyes shut. He had used the Cruciatus Curse on her repeatedly, for what seemed like an eternity, all the while chanting '_Come to me_' in that dry, high voice. She had been on the verge of complying when Severus had woken her.

Another tear escaped the sooty lashes that framed her wide eyes. She felt Severus's thumbs brush the tears from her cheeks, and pushing back her sweaty hair, and she realised that even as afraid as she was from her nightmare, she felt better now than she had in weeks with the man she loved sitting next to her, and showing her warmth.

Severus seemed to suddenly become aware that they were trespassing on ground that he had strictly prohibited, and he moved away slightly until they were no longer touching.

"Are you sure you're all right?" he asked, sounding completely detached. She nodded sadly, wishing he would comfort her more, and he said "I will leave then. Tomorrow I think we should continue your Occlumency lessons." He rose from her bedside and turned to go. Aeryn dropped her eyes to the bedcovers as he stood, her arms feeling empty, and she was once again terribly afraid. Before she could lose her nerve, she mumbled "stay."

Snape froze, and turned to look at her. "What?"

"Please...stay with me tonight. I don't want to be alone." He had to strain to hear her voice. He knew what it must be costing her to ask, and she knew she was crossing the line they had erected between them. She looked at him, and quickly looked away as he continued to stand there, immobile. "I don't expect anything from you, but I'm afraid to go to sleep again. Please, stay."

Agonising moments passed while he continued to stand there, looking at her. She was afraid to look at him. When he turned and headed for the door, she wanted to start crying again, but he merely went and shut it, as it had been left open when he broke in earlier. Her heart lifted; the tension she didn't know she was holding released from her body.

As he turned and headed back to the bed, she heard him mutter "this is _not_ a good idea." He removed his boots, and began to unbutton his jacket, pulling it off to reveal a snowy white button up shirt underneath. He turned towards the couch, intending on staying there, away from temptation. "Will you lie here instead?" she asked him, moving over to allow space next to her. He looked at her face, trying to determine her intentions, but all she looked was scared and vulnerable sitting on the bed in her daggy grey singlet top with her hair framing her large black eyes and pale face. He sighed, and went and lay on top of the covers next to her, a full foot away from the heat of her body, and stared at the ceiling. "Thank you," he heard her murmur, before she lay down on her side, facing him. Her eyes drifted shut. Severus drew one arm up behind his head, and stared at the ceiling that was flickering with the light from the fireplace, and allowed his mind to drift. Eventually, he slept, comforted in the knowledge that she was next to him.

It was several hours later when he awoke, but there was no light staining the sky outside as yet. He never slept more than a few hours at a time anyway. He became aware that Aeryn was now pressed full length along his side, with her left hand casually resting low on his belly, her breathing steady. Almost as soon as his mind registered this, her fingers began to sleepily brush patterns over the material of his shirt. He looked at her face, but her eyes were still shut. One finger made its way underneath his shirt, then two, and then her whole hand was lightly caressing his belly. His groin tightened. This was torture like he had never known. Her sleepy caresses awoke a hunger in him that he had been suppressing around her for months. And he didn't seem to be able to move away.

Her hand grew bolder, and he knew she was awake. The buttons on his white shirt were slowly and innocently unbuttoned, and her fingers lightly traced patterns up and down his torso as she spread his shirt wide, leaving his chest bare to her torturing fingers.

Severus couldn't allow this to go on any longer. What seemed to be about to happen was madness; he had made that clear to Aeryn weeks ago. Didn't she understand? He grasped her wrist to prevent her hand from moving any more. He looked down at her, and her eyes were now open, and staring softly into his. "No," he said, as firmly as he could. "This is wrong." Her brow creased slightly while she absorbed his words, then she seemed to come to a decision. She suddenly raised herself up on her right elbow and leaned over him, pressing her meagrely covered breasts onto his bare chest, bringing her face close to his, her hair spilling over her shoulder. He still held her wrist. "Then tell me you don't want this," she murmured, and began to lightly graze his jaw and neck with her lips.

Aeryn was tired of fighting the way she felt about this man beneath her, especially as she knew he wanted her too, no matter how hard he tried to deny it by distancing himself from her. To hell with his _promises_ and _duties_. She knew she was going back on her word, but at this moment she didn't care. If he rejected her, she would be so ashamed, and she knew he would never speak to her again if he did. But right now she was willing to take a chance and satisfy the cravings they both had, and suffer the consequences for it later.

She felt a crushing disappointment, however, when he grasped her shoulder, and made to push her away.

Suddenly he paused, and she looked into his deep black eyes, and saw the struggle that was going on there. He still held her wrist and shoulder, and the look on his face was tortured, uncertain.

With a groan, he rolled her over, pinning her beneath him, and crushed his lips to hers almost desperately. Aeryn kissed him back just as hard, and shivered as his hand dragged her shirt up and rubbed the soft, white skin of her stomach. Her hands pushed his open shirt back over his shoulders, and without breaking the kiss he pulled one arm out, and then the other. She revelled in the feeling of his bare back under her hands.

Severus was burning. He was so hungry for this girl, no - this _woman_, for what she was going to give him, and his mind gave way to more primal urgings. He roughly pulled down her top so it was bunched around her waist, and wrapped his lips around a firm breast. Aeryn gasped at the stabbing pleasure shooting through her, arching her back, and her fingers tangled in his hair. His hands were rubbing and kneading her everywhere - down her ribs, up her arms, and along her belly. The stubble on his chin left red marks on her white skin, and he sucked on her neck, leaving a slight bruise. He was rough, but she felt he still wasn't holding her hard enough. They were both breathing heavily as he pulled away, and removed the rest of his clothes. Pulling the covers away from her hips, he saw she was only wearing a pair of plain, blue underpants, and he divested her of those, as well as removing the bunched up shirt from her waist.

He paused for a moment, and simply stared at the naked perfection lying before him. He had seen her before, but he had been more worried about saving her life at the time, and didn't appreciate her body then. Her skin was flushed with pleasure, and her hair was spread out over the bed in a glorious tangle.

Aeryn hungered for the feeling of him in her arms again, and reaching up she clasped his naked body to hers as he lay against her again, working his hips between her legs. She felt a hot brand against her inner thigh. He was kissing her hard again, his tongue tangling with hers, and he let his hand slide down between them to her stomach to the soft mound of hair between her thighs. She cried out breathlessly as his fingers gently rubbed her, and she began to unconsciously move her hips against his hand. She was so wet, and Severus couldn't wait any longer.

He thrust fully into her in one powerful stroke, and she cried out again, part in pain and part in pleasure. She wasn't a virgin, but the singular sexual encounter she had ever experienced was with a Slytherin boy her own age in 7th year. After losing her virginity to him, and finding the whole process disgusting and painful, she had told him she wasn't interested anymore. This encounter, however, was turning out completely different.

Her muscles stretched to accommodate him, as he began to move in and out, and she felt intense sensations in the pit of her belly. Wrapping her legs around his hips, she gave herself up to the control of the man causing them. Severus was pushing into her so hard and fast her head was almost hitting the headboard, and his testicles slapped against her backside. His mind was blind with intense desire, and didn't register that he was being rough, but it was all about taking at this point, and not about giving anymore. He took what she was giving him blindly, and with a groan, he poured himself into her.

They lay entwined while each caught their breath, he still inside her. He pushed his face into her hair, and murmured "Aeryn, Aeryn," so softly. He kissed her temple, her neck, her hair. She was astounded at the vulnerability in his voice. He rolled them both onto their sides, afraid he would crush her beneath his weight; their bodies still together, her leg over his hip. Brushing her tangled hair back from her sweaty brow, he stared into her eyes, drowning in them. She unconsciously did the same, and pushed the black tangles away from his face, wanting to touch him, not being able to take her eyes from him. She was in awe of what had transpired; she had never felt anything like it.

As he drifted off to sleep once more, he heard her murmur softly, in the darkness, "I love you, Severus."

* * *

Snape awoke just as the sky outside began lightening, aware that he was very comfortable and rested. He lay there drowsily for several minutes, not registering the warmth he felt next to him was a naked woman, and that her hair tickled his nose.

His memory finally woke up and his eyes widened.

He really should leave, before she awoke, and pretend like what they had shared only a few hours ago had never occurred – that would be smart. But what was smart and what he wanted were two completely different things right now. How could he have been so stupid as to let this happen in the first place? He had taken what the Dark Lord had specifically claimed for himself, and by doing so placed his life and hers in danger. Not to mention if that Umbridge woman found out – 'staff fraternisation' was frowned upon before she had started here, now would be grounds for instant dismissal. If that happened, he couldn't complete his mission, and Potter would be unprotected.

He sighed, and quietly arose from the bed, gathering his scattered clothes from the floor. He pursed his lips at the sight of them – all wrinkled – it would be obvious to anyone who saw him that he had worn these clothes yesterday. It would be best to slip up the hall to his own rooms now and change. _Before_ she woke up.

Pulling his pants and boots on, he looked behind him at the sleeping form on the bed. She was lying on her stomach, with the sheets only covering her to her hips; her arms were under the pillows she rested her head on. In the growing light he could see the bruises along her ribs where he had held her too tightly, and he grimaced. He should definitely leave, _now_. Finding his shirt on the floor as well, he pulled it on and began to button up, still looking at Aeryn asleep on the bed. His feet were rooted to the floor. Was he waiting for her to wake up? Then he would have to face his actions of last night, and the consequences.

He sighed again, finding his jacket. Slipping it on, he still made no move to leave, but leaned against the back of the couch, and stared at her some more. Aeryn sighed and rolled over, and his heart began to pound in his chest when she lay on her back and stretched languorously, the sheets still only covering her to her hips. He saw the red marks on her breasts and neck, the bruises on her hips and wrists, and blushed with shame. He should have not been so rough in the first place, should have take the time to be gentle with her...he shook his head. He shouldn't have taken _any_ time _at all_, he should have walked out instead of shutting the door, instead of leaving them in this predicament.

Aeryn, who had been dozing, suddenly sat up with an "oh!" as she remembered the events of the night before. Looking quickly around, she visibly relaxed as she saw he had not left, but was leaning against the back of the couch fully dressed and watching her, his face impassive. She blushed as she realised her bare state, and self-consciously pulled the sheets up to hide her naked breasts. Pushing her tousled hair off her face she smiled and murmured 'Good morning." In his deep baritone he replied the same, and she realised his face had a slight scowl on it. Not the reaction she was hoping for, but one she realised she had been expecting. He was such a champion at beating himself up over things. She sighed, and pulled the sheets from the bed, wrapping them around her. Standing up, she walked over to him and stared into his eyes. "You're mad at me, aren't you?" She asked, but did not sound repentant at all.

His eyebrows raised in surprise. That was not the question he'd been expecting. "Mad at you? Why would I be mad at you?"

"Because I..._seduced_ you last night." She blushed again.

To his surprise, and hers, he chuckled. "Hardly. I'm mad at me, for allowing it to happen in the first place, and because..." he trailed off.

"Because...?"

He looked away. "Because I was very rough with you." At her questioning look, he raised a hand to her arms, pointing out the bruises, and lay his hand gently on her jaw where another one was. Aeryn's eyes only registered surprise, not accusation. "I didn't even notice. Guess I had my mind on other things." she said, and blushed again. It seemed to be the morning for blushing.

He scowled. "It shouldn't have been that way." Then his voice grew angry, and he turned and stalked past her a few steps. "It shouldn't have happened at all."

Aeryn frowned. "Are you saying you regret being with me last night?"

"Of course I regret it! Now I've gone and put both our lives in danger!" He turned to her. "You've been marked out specifically by the Dark Lord, and if he gets to you and performs Legillimency on you, we're both dead! Don't you understand? I have my own mission to complete. Granted I am skilled in Occlumency, but if my mind slips for an instant..." He looked at her, standing there in just a sheet, her bare shoulders almost seemed to glow in the early morning light. She looked so vulnerable, and even now he still wanted her. He walked back to her. She wouldn't meet his eyes, and her face was paler than usual. "I understand." She said softly. Then, almost in a whisper, she said 'You'd better leave then."

Snape could see his words had stung. Without really knowing what he was doing, he gathered her in his arms and pulled her tight against his chest, his lips against her hair. She held herself stiffly. "The worst part is" he said despairingly, "I don't seem to be able to leave you now. I don't want to leave you now." She pulled back to stare at his eyes, her face suspicious and still a trifle hurt, and hesitantly placed a hand on his face, as if to judge his reaction. As if to prove she was forgiven, he tipped her head up and lowered his mouth to hers.

Before he could get carried away again, Severus stopped the kiss. He ran his fingers gently through her long hair. "I think, that whatever happens now, you're part of the equation," he murmured. "Aeryn, I can't promise you anything...what I'm doing is very dangerous, and you could get hurt, or killed."

Aeryn rolled her eyes flippantly. "I think that's unavoidable, anyway. You-Know-Who is after me, and I think something has to happen one way or another." She smiled wryly. "Look at it from the bright side: he wants Harry dead _now_ – whereas I have at least nine months, give or take." At Severus's dark look she shook her head. "Sorry. Guess that was inappropriate."

He nodded sternly. "I will speak to Dumbledore at the next Order meeting – this needs to be settled."

"Order meeting?"

He ran his hands lightly down her bare arms, and for a moment Aeryn forgot the question she had asked. "The Order of the Phoenix. You haven't heard about it?"

Aeryn nodded. "I've heard stories...it was created to fight You-Know-Who and his followers. I guess you're part of it?"Severus nodded. "Is...is that your mission? I know you say you have duties to keep, and everyone knows you're a spy for the Dark Lord, but are you really?"

Severus looked at her sharply. "The less you know, the better. Don't ask me again, Aeryn. It's none of your concern." Aeryn nodded mutely, her eyes downcast. "I should get back to my rooms," he continued brusquely. "There are still a couple of first year exams to go before the end of the year."

Aeryn watched him turn to leave, amazed that he could be loving and passionate one moment, and all business the next. She felt a little insecure that he could switch off so easily, and felt the need for reassurance. "Severus?" she asked hesitantly, pulling the sheet a little higher. "Can-can I have a kiss before you go?" She blushed yet again, wishing she didn't have to ask.

He turned back to her with a quirk of his lips. "Of course, Aeryn. You need only to ask." And he kissed her so thoroughly that she wasn't sure why she ever doubted.

She smiled against his mouth. "Have a nice day, _dear_," she said teasingly. "Oh, Severus, wait." She put out a hand to stop him, then went and got her wand from the bedside table. "Expecto Patronum," she murmured, and a bright, silvery form leapt from the tip of her wand. She watched it gallivanting around the room for a few moments, satisfied, before she turned to look at Severus's approval.

She was brought up short, however, when she saw his pale face. "How did you make it take that form?" he asked hoarsely.

She raised an eyebrow, confused at his mannerism. "You know very well that it's the form that chooses the witch or wizard. Although, based on the theory that the animal is supposed to represent them in some way, I don't see how it represents me. I'm certainly not swift and gentle like a _doe_," she laughed lightly, and let the silvery animal disappear. "I just wanted to show you how happy you've made me."

Severus seemed to shake himself from his stupor. "Aeryn, like I said before I can't promise you anything..."

Aeryn came back over to the potions master and wrapped her arms around his waist. "I know. And I understand. But for the moment we can pretend everything is going to be all right."

The sheet fell to the floor as they embraced.

* * *

**Oh God please be kind in your reviews! :)**

**I'm sorry it took so long to post this chapter – I edited and edited cos it never sounded right – I wasn't deliberately making you wait. Had a bit on...**


	19. Chapter 19: Beginnings

**I'm back :)**

**Yes. **

**I know. **

**I hear all your reprimands about not updating and I know that if, in some strange world, I had been writing this story for real, my publisher would have fired me over the delay. Let's just say my interest waned, or I could never find time for writing, blah blah blah.**

**But the good news is that I've written 80% of the rest of the story, my interest in writing is renewed, and so here is the next chapter, and there won't be huge delays between chapters like before.**

**Also, thank you to all my reviewers once again :)**

* * *

Before her eyes even opened, a wide smile spread across Aeryn's features as her mind replayed the night's events. Suddenly however she sat bolt upright and realised she had gone back to sleep after Severus had left, and now had ten minutes to be at her office.

In a sunny haze she hurried to the bathroom for a shower, standing in the hot water as thoughts drifted happily through her mind. As she quickly got dressed, one irrefutable fact lodged itself in her brain: Severus was willing to put his life on the line to be with her. Wasn't that the ultimate expression of love? she thought. It had all turned out better than she could ever have hoped. He was not with that harpy, Gwyneth, and he was most definitely with _her_, Aeryn Allen.

Things seemed so bright and sunny this morning.

As she walked the halls to her office, she couldn't keep the smile from her face. Even having to take the long way to avoid the swamp that took up an entire corridor to get to her office didn't annoy her this morning, even though it added to her lateness.

The only damper on her morning was when Professor Flitwick accosted her as she was unlocking her office door, to tell her that last night, not only had Umbridge tried to apprehend Hagrid, who had disappeared, but that Professor McGonagall was in St Mungo's with an 'unknown but debilitating chest condition'. Aeryn couldn't understand – she had seemed fine last night. "Very fishy," Flitwick muttered as he left, his mouth pursed. "And watch yourself, any of us could be next," he called as he walked quickly away.

She entered her office slowly, brow furrowed. So, Umbridge had successfully removed two of Dumbledore's allies, and well as the man himself. There were no bounds to her ambitions. The best Aeryn could do now would be to take Flitwick's advice and keep her nose clean until they all came back. "And they will come back," she muttered firmly to herself as she sat at her desk.

Aeryn didn't have any counselling or study sessions as the final exams were today. She intended to finish writing her end of year reports, and clean her office, and it took a lot longer than she thought, as memories of her lover distracted her often. She smiled at that thought – her lover. God she loved that man!

Finally, around lunchtime she gave up the cleaning as a bad job and went in search of Severus. Part of her wanted to wait and see if he would come to her, but she was too impatient to see him. As she strolled the corridor Aeryn noticed most of the students had finished their exams and were savouring the unusually good weather outside.

She almost ran down the stairs to the dungeons, and felt a familiar thrill on finding Severus there, leaning over a cauldron. She smiled. He loved his potions.

"One day I'm going to come down here and find you painting, or something, and then everyone will know your passion for potions in just a sham," she said lightly by way of greeting.

Severus snapped his head up, startled. "Aeryn! Forgive me. I was concentrating." He bent to his task.

She closed the huge dungeon door behind her and went and sat on his desk behind him. "Obviously. I just wanted to see how you were this morning. I..." she hesitated, "I missed you. Have you had a good day so far?"

"Hm," he replied non-committedly.

Aeryn raised an eyebrow at his back, realising that was the only response she was to expect. Well, she thought, it wasn't as if she had expected much, even with her tentative words.

"Any trouble with your students' final exams?"

"No."

She tried again. "Are you looking forward to holidays?" she asked hopefully.

"No more than usual."

Aeryn crossed her legs under her, still sitting on his desk. After a few minutes of total silence, she gave up. He was invariably engrossed in his work. "Well," she said, trying to mask the dejection in her voice and hopping down, "I guess I'll see you later then."

Severus finally looked up. "Are you leaving?"

"Well you didn't seem inclined to talk. I don't want to bother you."

He stopped what he was doing and looked at her. "I didn't know I had to talk to keep you here?"

Aeryn laughed lightly at his confused expression, relieved. Warmth suffused her as she realised he wanted her to stay. She walked up to him and pushed the hair back from his face affectionately, then grimaced as she noticed its greasy state. "Ugh, Severus. You need to wash your hair."

He coloured slightly. "I didn't have time this morning," he said, then looked at her pointedly.

She smiled slightly. "Well, you're forgiven then. Did you want to get some lunch? I know it's a bit late but I haven't eaten yet."

He shook his head and moved back to the work table. "No, I can't leave this potion for too long. It needs to be stirred every ten minutes for the next hour."

"I'm sure the house elves can bring something up."

Severus shook his head again. "You may eat here, if you want something."

Aeryn went back to her seat on his desk, and sighed. "No, I'll live. Tell me, what did happen that day in your office?"

There was a slight pause after the sudden shift in topic. "Which day was that?"

"The one when I walked in on you and Gwyneth."

Severus shrugged uncomfortably. "That _woman_ is a leech," was all he said.

"But why is she after _you_?" Aeryn suddenly realised the tone of her voice could cause misunderstandings. "I mean, aside from the obvious."

Severus took up a long handled wooden spoon and began to carefully stir the potion. After twelve times around the cauldron, he put the spoon down and looked steadily at Aeryn. 'Whatever your definition of the 'obvious' might be, Miss Gillies has attached herself to me because I am the Dark Lord's right hand. And as _his_ interests are elsewhere" – he nodded in Aeryn's direction – "then she will go after the next best thing."

Aeryn's eyes widened. "She works for _him_?" At his affirmative nod, she continued, "Does Dumbledore know?"

"Of course."

"Then why is she working here?"

"Better the enemy you know than the enemy you don't." Severus replied in his gravelly voice.

Aeryn shook her head. "He has people everywhere." She fidgeted. "Are you really that close to him?"

"He trusts me completely. Well, as much as he trusts anyone."

Aeryn chewed a fingernail and hesitated, wanting to ask more questions than she knew she would get answers for. "So – you're Dumbledore's spy. You work for the Order of the Phoenix. The Dark Lord has you as his right hand, and you have that harpy chasing after you because you have power. Would you at least tell me _why_ you are doing this?"

Black eyebrows lowered as Severus scowled into the cauldron. "I've told you before, not to ask me these questions. They are none of your concern."

Aeryn's features were similar as she scowled at his back. "That's not good enough."

"Well you will have to suffer disappointment my dear, because it will have to be."

Aeryn chewed her lip, dissatisfied but willing to leave it for the moment. "What's your relationship with Harry Potter?"

Severus looked nonplussed for a moment, then sneered. "I have no _relationship_ with that boy."

"Then why do you follow him, watch him, and antagonise him at every opportunity?"

Severus slammed down the wooden spoon he was about to stir the cauldron with. "If I knew you were going to be so nosy I wouldn't have asked you stay."

"_Nosy_?"

"Aeryn, these questions are, frankly, none of your business. Just because you and I are sleeping together does make you privy to every detail of my life!" he snapped.

Aeryn jumped down from the desk. "Oh, so we're just _sleeping together_ and nothing else?"

Severus threw up his hands. "You are honestly the most infuriating woman I have ever known. Must you constantly throw a tantrum every time we have a conversation?"

Aeryn drew a deep breath. "Answer the question," she said through clenched teeth.

"You are aware of my feelings. I do not need to repeat them."

Aeryn looked at him incredulously. "Severus, how many relationships have you been in?"

Severus turned back to his cauldron, and, once again picking up the wooden spoon, began to stir the concoction within. "I don't see how that is relevant to anything," he muttered.

"It can't have been many, because you need a little practise!" Aeryn strode to the other end of the room, then turned to face the potions master. "Look, I just think that the more information I have, the better prepared I can be for when...if he finds me." At the lack of response from the other side of the room, Aeryn huffed irritably. "Well then I will have to hypothesise. You watch Harry Potter, and he is number one on You-Know-Who's hit list. And yet you follow him, and I know you report to Dumbledore about him. So what is Harry Potter to Lord V- ...You-Know-Who? What is Harry to you?" Still no response from the black figure. "Dammit Severus, are you really watching him for Dumbledore or for _Voldemort_?" she asked, her voice becoming more agitated, and cracking on the forbidden name.

Severus faced her finally, his face white. "How dare you? You are completely out of line! You dare accuse me when you have no idea the atrocities I have suffered at the Dark Lord's hands? What I have lost because of him? You have no right, and no business asking these questions. I have warned you. Get out," he spat.

"Why won't you just answer my questions?" she demanded furiously, but shaken at the tone of his voice and expression on his face.

"Because it's none of your damn business, now get out!" he thundered. After a few moments of stunned silence, where neither party had moved, Severus repeated himself. "I said get out," he stated coldly, and turned away.

Aeryn realised she had taken advantage of the relationship she shared with this man, and pushed him too far. Pride however, wouldn't allow her to apologise. The sharpness of his tone and actions stung her, and she glared at him, before turning towards the door wordlessly. Their relationship was so volatile, even now after they both more or less understood how the other felt, but each had the power to do the other great harm. Aeryn's hands shook as she reached for the door handle.

Severus had regretted his outburst almost as soon as it had left his lips. He kept his secrets close, revealing them willingly to someone was extremely difficult. He glanced around and saw the stiff way she held her shoulders as she placed her hand on the door handle.

"Aeryn - wait," he gritted, then sighed. "I was in love with his mother." He said the words as if they were a dead weight he had carried for a long time.

Severus's admission was hoarse as Aeryn turned back to see him hunched over next to the cauldron, his hands braced on the wooden desk and his hair obscuring his face. "What?" she whispered.

"Potter's mother. She was my best friend as a child, but I always loved her. As an adult she...she didn't return those feelings and gave them to another. My enemy."

Aeryn understood that it was incredibly hard for him to talk about this, but all she could think about was who was this woman he had once loved before her? How much of his life was she completely unaware of? Now the story had started, she needed to know the rest. "What happened?"

"I killed her."

The blatant self-disgust and rage that was evident in his tone shocked the young woman. _I have done things that would have you on the floor in hysterics again_, she heard his voice from not too long ago. "You-you killed her?" she stammered. Severus turned away, still not looking at her. "Why? Because she didn't love you back?" she asked, trying to control her voice and not allow accusation to colour it.

The potion master's voice was rough. "I betrayed her. To the Dark Lord." He turned to look at Aeryn, his face almost pleading when he saw her shocked expression. "It was an accident. I never meant for her to die. I never knew the prophecy meant her son."

"Prophecy? Her son? You mean Harry?" Aeryn shook her head, trying to make sense of the situation – it was so much to digest - and desperately trying to give Severus the benefit of the doubt.

Severus sighed. "There was...is - a prophecy, concerning Potter and the Dark Lord. I can't tell you everything, Aeryn. But He Who Must Not Be Named killed Lily Evans...Lily Potter," he corrected, "because of information I gave him. So you see," he continued, taking her by the shoulders and looking into her wide eyes, "I can't let my guard down for an instant, or he will take you from me too.

"Please," he murmured almost inaudibly. "Please understand, I have never told anyone any of this." His eyes bore into hers almost greedily. "You're mine, Aeryn. I won't let you go, and I would give up my life rather than betray you. I won't let it happen again."

"Lily," Aeryn murmured. "Was she the woman you spoke of once, that time in my office when you...you said you only wanted me for one thing?"

Severus nodded slowly. "I made a vow to protect her son."

"But you dislike him so much!"

Before he could respond there was an imperious knock on the dungeon door. Severus dropped Aeryn's arms like they were on fire and moved back to his cauldron. "Enter," he called in a steady voice.

Draco Malfoy popped his head around the door. "Excuse me, Professor." He glanced curiously at Aeryn, noting her furrowed brow, then looked back at the potions master. "The Headmistress sent me to bring you to her right away. She needs help with...er, well, you'll see when we get there," he smirked.

Severus nodded. "Fine, Draco." He turned to Aeryn, all business now. "Thank you, Professor Allen. We will continue this discussion at a later date." And he followed Draco from the room.

* * *

Severus was preoccupied as they walked hurriedly up the corridor. "This had better be important, Draco. You may have finished for the year but I still have things to attend to."

Draco looked sideways at his professor. "Was that concerning potions, sir, or maybe something else?"

Severus stopped abruptly and looked sternly at the young man. "What, exactly, are you implying?"

Draco shrugged, nonchalant. "Nothing, sir. We'd best hurry." He took out a wand and began twirling it as they walked. Severus rolled his eyes internally at the boy's lack of subtlety but took the bait anyway. "That is not your wand Draco," he commented.

Malfoy smirked. "It's Potter's. He and his filthy friends broke into the Headmistress's office, probably to contact Dumbledore." He laughed. "What idiots. Potter always did think himself the perfect hero."

Severus scowled, and privately agreed with Malfoy, and neither spoke again. As they traversed the corridors, his mind strayed to the conversation he had just had with Aeryn. Part of him shuddered at revealing his secrets so easily, the other part knew he owed her an explanation, or at least, a little more information. He knew she would be chomping at the bit until she had every piece of information from him.

There was silence as they approached the door leading to Umbridge's office. Draco opened the door for the potions master, and Severus saw the disorder within. Several Slytherin students - from the Inquisitorial Squad, were roughly holding a bunch of ragtail Weasley's, as well as a few other Gryffindor students and a Ravenclaw captive, while Umbridge gloated over the lot of them from her chair.

"You wanted to see me, Headmistress?" Severus asked, keeping his face blank.

"Ah, Professor Snape. Yes I would like another bottle of Veritaserum, as quick as you can, please." Umbridge said as she stood up from her chair, barely making a difference in height.

Severus was completely disdainful of the woman and her pathetic little displays of power, and struggled not to show it. "You took my last bottle to interrogate Potter," he replied. She had no idea what she was doing, he thought scornfully. "Surely you did not use it all? I told you three drops would be sufficient," Severus said coolly, then watched as Umbridge coloured.

Her voice became sickly sweet. Severus knew she was now seriously irritated, and that knowledge pleased him immensely. "You can make some more, can't you?" she asked. Obviously the woman needed a few lessons in Remedial Potions. "Certainly," he replied, his lip curling as he watched her face and told her how long it would take, knowledge that most third years could have told her.

"A _month_?" Umbridge shrieked. "A month? But I need it this evening, Snape! I have just found Potter using my fire to communicate with a person or persons unknown!"

"Really? Well, it doesn't surprise me. Potter has never shown much inclination to follow school rules." He looked at the boy then, whose expression was all but shouting at him to read his mind...

_Voldemort's got Sirius in the Department of Mysteries_!

Shock registered briefly with Severus. He never dreamed Potter had actually broken into Umbridge's office for any serious reason other than a disregard for the rules. If Black could be considered a 'serious reason'...

"I wish to interrogate him!" Umbridge's shrill voice interrupted his thoughts. He looked back at her quivering face. "I wish you to provide me with a potion that will force him to tell me the truth!"

_Potter and Umbridge_, he thought. _So alike. Always throwing their weight around as if they were the most important people in the world, when really they are so insignificant_. "I have already told you that I have no further stocks of Veritaserum," Severus lied smoothly. "Unless you wish to poison Potter – and I assure you I would have the greatest sympathy with you if you did – I cannot help you. The only trouble is," he continued blandly, "that most venoms act too fast to give the victim much time for truth-telling."

Severus glanced back at Potter to gage the effect of his words, to find those green eyes still boring into his own, still frantically trying to communicate what Severus already knew.

"You are on probation!" Umbridge screeched, gaining raised eyebrows from Severus. "You are being deliberately unhelpful. I expected better, Lucius Malfoy always speaks most highly of you. Now get out of my office!"

Severus entertained a few idle thoughts of strangling that fat neck, but contented himself with a sardonic bow. As he turned to leave, Potter, in all his stupidity called out. "He's got Padfoot!" he yelled, putting nearly everything at risk. "He's got Padfoot at the place where it's hidden!"

Severus paused, mentally cursing the boy, but allowing nothing to show on his face as he turned to look back at him.

"Padfoot? What is Padfoot? Where what is hidden? What does he mean, Snape?" Umbridge demanded eagerly.

_Stupid boy_. "I have no idea," Severus responded coldly. Then he continued, trying to atone for the damage the boy had done. "Potter, when I want nonsense shouted at me I shall give you a Babbling Beverage." He turned to leave, adding "Crabbe, loosen your hold a little. If Longbottom suffocates it will mean a lot of tedious paperwork and I am afraid I shall have to mention it on your reference if ever you apply for a job."

Severus left without another word before he could be interrupted again. Striding hurriedly down the corridors and stairs of the school, he left the grounds to apparate directly to Grimmauld Place. To Dumbledore.


	20. Chapter 20: Settings

I told myself I was going to wait and just post a chapter a week, but what the hell – here's another one.

CHAPTER 20

He was so good at hiding things, Aeryn thought as she left the dungeon. Showing a face to the world that he wanted people to see, and changing that face when required. For a moment Aeryn wondered if he was only showing her what _she_ wanted to see. Only once that thought had entered her mind, she realised she might have just been lucky enough to see the side of him that no one else ever had, with his admissions concerning one Lily Potter. _Harry's mother_. It was so unexpected, she thought.

She supposed they grew up together as children, and went to school together here, at Hogwarts. Her mind tried to find answers as Severus couldn't give them to her now. He had obviously loved this person, and for a number of years. A moment's spike of jealousy was ruthlessly hammered down - the woman was dead now, after all. _Did she reject him? Or ridicule him? What did she do to him that made him betray her?_ She mused, as she made her way back to her office. _He said it was an accident-_

She was interrupted by the sounds coming from outside. Evidently exams were over, and the students were celebrating, and had been for a little while. She didn't realise the afternoon had disappeared quite so fast.

Well, she thought wryly, at least Umbridge would soon be gone, if the curse of the DADA professor was to be believed. _Wonder what she wants with Severus? I hope he comes to see me soon. I want to ask him more questions about Lily_.

That night she went to her room for the last time until next school year. She waited for Severus to come see her, but she realised he wasn't going to when the first light of day came in her window.

"Severus," Dumbledore acknowledged the younger man tiredly early the next day, coming to sit by the fire with him. After Potter's obviousness yesterday, Severus had alerted Dumbledore of the required information, who in turn had acted swiftly. He called to him various order members, and instructed Severus to stay at Grimmauld Place to relay information if needed. Then he and the other Order members had left, leaving Severus to stay moodily into the fire, and dwell on his conversation with Aeryn.

"Sirius is dead," Dumbledore continued, and then watched Severus's face for a reaction as he filled him in on the details. Severus felt...nothing. Not dismay, nor relief, that a man he severely disliked had met his end. The only emotion had been...jealousy. Yes, or more rather envy, that Sirius had died so _nobly_. Severus's lip curled at the thought. He would have rather stayed alive than risk his skin for anyone. He refused to acknowledge what he would or wouldn't do if Aeryn was in the Dark Lord's power, rather telling himself it wouldn't come to that. But part of him wished that, if he were to die soon, it would be for his cause.

"I have just come from speaking to Harry, who is, understandably, quite upset at the death of his Godfather. The whole world now knows what we've been trying to tell them for months about Lord Voldemort's return. Even so, we must be more careful than ever that your position as a double agent in his ranks goes unnoticed."

Severus didn't respond. After a few moments of silence, Albus provided him with one piece of good news. "It appears Dolores had a run-in with a herd of Centaurs shortly after you left the school yesterday. She is currently in the hospital wing, and severely disturbed. Oh," he continued, "and the position for Defense Against the Dark Arts is once again, I'm afraid, open to employment.

"How is Professor Allen?"

The question from the Headmaster seemed to come from nowhere, and Severus wondered how much the old man knew. "Well enough, I expect. She seemed to be progressing with Occlumency, but grew lax in her mental exercises and the Dark Lord once again invaded her dreams last night." Visions of what happened after he comforted her intruded in his mind but he quashed them quickly, but couldn't stop a faint flush from staining his cheeks.

Dumbledore affected not to notice. "I believe that now, Severus, is when Lord Voldemort may try to apprehend Aeryn, as the prophecy is destroyed and therefore no longer of vital importance. She is of course, being watched by Order Members when you are not with her, but I find myself unsure of what Voldemort's next move will be."

"What do you suggest?"

Dumbledore poured himself a glass of firewhiskey, and one for Severus, indicating for the younger man to take it. "I have several ideas in mind, each as unlikely to succeed as the next. There is, however, one suggestion I will make that may or may not have value – you must tell me your thoughts."

Severus waited patiently as the Headmaster took a sip of the spirit. The old man cleared his throat. "There is a little-known charm that existed oh, centuries ago now. I'm not entirely sure it will still work – the magic is very old. I stumbled across it quite by accident a number of years ago while in France. Actually," he admitted, "I'm not even sure it would have worked to begin with, but the theory has merit, so it's worth a try. It all depends on you, my dear fellow." Dumbledore's blue eyes pierced Severus's own.

"Would you please speak plainly, Headmaster, or must I riddle this out first?" Severus asked with some asperity.

Albus smiled slightly, taking another sip, as did Severus. "You are, I believe, in love with Aeryn Allen?" The question, bluntly put, completely took the potions master off guard. He spluttered into his glass briefly before Albus continued. "Forgive an old man his brusqueness, but the question is important."

Severus felt the blood rushing to his cheeks as he tried to think of a way of avoiding the question. The blue eyes fixed on him sternly however, and Severus had no choice but to answer. "I am," he said stiffly.

Albus's face was unreadable. "I wondered how long it would take you to admit it," he mused quietly. "But you have done well to suppress those feelings for as long as you have and remain faithful to Lily Potter. Harry is by no means out of danger, Severus, and now I can see doubt in your eyes as to whether or not you still care about Lily enough to keep your oath." He paused, the unspoken question hanging in the air.

Severus's eyebrows lowered even further if that were possible, and his black eyes snapped. "We have been down this road already, Albus. Regardless of any feelings I may have for anyone else, my oath to Lily and to you regarding the boy remain strong. However," he paused, wondering how to word his next statement. "My priorities have not changed; I have merely...taken on a few more."

Dumbledore removed his spectacles and began to polish them on his robe. "And I do believe your feelings are returned by Aeryn. Are they not?"

Severus inclined his head jerkily in the affirmative. "Good, good." Albus said, smiling, and replacing his glasses. "Returning to my earlier topic, that is the key to this charm. It will only work when the strongest of affection is in play, between two people. According to the legend, it does not necessarily have to be between lovers, but can be between a mother and her child, or siblings, or even very close friends. Although it is reputed to work best for people who are more...intimate, with one another." Albus stood up, turning away from the dark haired man, and therefore did not see the startled look on Severus's face.

"It is a very old Pagan ritual, quite barbaric actually, but one that allows two people to become more aware of the other's emotional state. For example," Albus turned back, "if someone was in danger, their partner in this charm would feel their fear, and it is rumoured that they will know the location of that person, and possibly be able to come to their aid. Which is why this charm may be beneficial to you and Professor Allen." He cleared his throat and smiled. "Assuming it works, of course."

"Meaning no disrespect of course, but what guarantee do I have that it will?" Severus asked, trying not show sound ungrateful.

"None at all, dear fellow. It was merely a suggestion," Dumbledore replied genially. "If it does work," Dumbledore continued in his quiet voice, "the benefits to you and Aeryn will be profound, as long as you both continue to share the same strong feelings towards one another."

Severus looked thoughtful. "And is there any other protection you can offer her?"

Dumbledore smiled. "Of course. You will be with her quite a bit, and as your duelling skills are legendary, she should be very well protected. You can tell your other master that I have assigned you as her bodyguard, and of course as I do not know anything about you still working for Lord Voldemort, you can appear innocent of the arrangement."

Severus sat in silence with his firewhisky, and contemplated the information given him, weighing the benefits and cons. "I will consider what you have told me, but I am not ready to..." he paused.

"Not ready to share your feelings on that level, in the event this charm should work?" Albus finished gently. Severus's silence was affirmative enough an answer for him to continue. "Very well. We shall rely on more modern means of magic to keep Professor Allen out of harm's way."

The floor thumped dully as Aeryn dropped her bags unceremoniously in the entranceway. Home again. She looked around at the small but tidy rooms, noting the musty smell of a long unused house. She hadn't been here, her mother's old house in twelve months, and it showed. Even now, years after she had died, it was still painful to be here. Aeryn was the sole owner of her father's estate as well, but the house had long-term tenants in it. There was no point moving them. And so every summer she came here, to relive those memories of a child, and regret that there weren't more of them.

Moving through the house, she opened windows, letting in the warm night breezes, and turned on a few lights. The house still seemed so empty, and she wondered how long she could stay here, alone, without going crazy. The endless weeks of 'holidays' stretched out before her.

Eventually she found herself seated in an old armchair, staring at the blank television. There was no sound. The neighbourhood she lived in was a quiet one; houses not too close together, streetlights set far apart.

The nagging ache in her throat grew stronger as the silence around made her thoughts louder. Dumbledore had returned to Hogwarts for the last day of school, along with Severus, but the constriction in her throat grew out of her lover's apparent lack of concern for her. No apologies for not speaking to her, or avoiding her, for the last night and day of their stay under the same roof together. No excuses for where he had been. No promises to see her over the holidays. No communication whatsoever, merely a nod of his head in her direction.

He had, after all, said in his own words that she was 'part of the equation'. Didn't that give her some right to know where he had been? If he cared for her so then why this distance? The only conclusive thought she could arrive at was that he regretted his actions and was now rectifying them.

Dimly, thunder rumbled in the distance, followed shortly by a brief flash of lightening. Summer storms had always been exciting and soothing at the same time for her. Now, it made her feel more alone than ever.

The rain began to fall.

"Where have you been?" Gwyneth hissed as she saw Severus in the large entranceway, removing his sodden cloak and tossing it in Wormtail's general direction for him to hang up. Severus merely glanced at her, not deigning to reply. He walked passed her to the hall, noting the many people who were gathered for this meeting. Everyone, including himself, was nervous, remembering their last meeting with the Dark Lord – the scene was etched on everyone's eyeballs – one of Lucius, McNair, Bellatrix, Dolohov, Nott and the rest being tortured for hours on end for his failure in obtaining the prophecy. The fact that a group of the strongest Death Eaters had faced down six ordinary teenagers and lost was a repulsive stain on those Death Eaters' reputations, and they were all still suffering for it, including Bellatrix, the Dark Lord's favourite. Granted, the Order of the Phoenix members had lent a hand eventually thanks to Severus's timely intervention, but even he had been apprehensive that the Dark Lord would find out of his betrayal. Voldemort's anger had been colossal.

As if by unspoken command they all took their respective places at the enormous table in the centre of the hall. Bellatrix's usual place to the Dark Lord's left was filled by Gwyneth now, and the red haired woman was prone to lording it over the dark haired one. Wormtail provided refreshments as they waited, until Lord Voldemort himself appeared – his pet snake Nagini resting over his shoulders, almost in an embrace.

Not a word was spoken by him concerning the prophecy, although it was on the minds of everyone in the room. When asked a question directly by the Dark Lord, the responses were given hastily, for fear of angering him again. Every matter was discussed – the whereabouts of Harry Potter and his condition following the confrontation at the Ministry; information on Dumbledore, provided smugly by Gwyneth and added to by Severus; Order members, spells and incantations, muggle-baiting; it all went on for hours, Voldemort snapping out questions fast and reprimanding even faster if he was displeased with a response.

"And what of Aeryn Allen?" The question was directed at Severus and Gwyneth, and was not unexpected by either of them. "I grow tired of this cat and mouse game."

Severus's response was a surprise to Gwyneth. "You will be pleased to know, my Lord, that Dumbledore has appointed me her protector during the summer break." Gwyneth's head snapped up to look at him incredulously. He allowed himself a small smile. "I will be able to notify of her movements firsthand without causing suspicion."

Voldemort noticed the surprise, and then anger, that showed on Gwyneth's features. "I take it Severus you did not inform your fellow Death Eater of this arrangement? Tell me Gwyneth, is it simply that which is bothering you, or is it something else?" He seemed to take a perverse pleasure in the woman's anger.

Gwyneth's full lips thinned into a hard line. "Forgive me, my Lord, but I feel it is my place to point out that Severus is spending a lot of time with your chosen mate. Much more than seems necessary for reconnaissance work." She glared at Severus as she said this.

The Dark Lord steepled his fingers in front of his face, partially hiding it, and only allowing his slitted red eyes to be seen clearly. Severus noted the gesture was similar to Dumbledore's when he wanted information. Red eyes pierced Severus's own, and the potions master wished it were blue that were interrogating him at this moment instead. "Are you overstepping your bounds, Severus, or is dear Gwyneth merely suffering from a little jealousy?" The words, spoken softly, carried a world of threat behind them.

Severus allowed amusement to cross his face, although it was an effort. He allowed his mind to become, if possible, even more blank so as to prevent intrusion from the man seated at the head of the table. He would not risk Aeryn to him. "Gwyneth is a little put out that I do not find her worth the time of day," Severus began. "Granted, I have spent many hours with the school counsellor, but only at your orders, my lord. If you wish me to turn Allen's care over to Gwyneth, I would be happy to. Although I don't see Dumbledore giving the task of bodyguard to Gwyneth, but if she would like to try, she is welcome," he finished mockingly.

Voldemort nodded slowly, but still did not take his eyes from Severus's own. "Very well. I wish you to report her movements to me, and I want to know what other protection she is receiving from the Order. I do not wish you to jeopardise your own position with them, however. Severus," he added, "I shall know if you are deceiving me. Be sure that you follow my orders.

"You are all dismissed." Voldemort leaned back in his chair. Nagini, who had been slithering up and down the table and adding to the pressure of everyone seated at it, returned to her master. She draped herself once again over his shoulders and nuzzled into his neck while everyone left their seats.

"Lucius, Narcissa, Draco. Stay a moment."

Those that had been named by the Dark Lord to remain glanced at each other uneasily. The rest of the Death Eaters filed out silently, except for Bellatrix, who hesitated, clearly wanting in on the discussion. Voldemort glanced at her briefly, his eyes narrowing, and then simply turned away. Tension left the woman's shoulders as she realised this was his way of allowing her to stay.

Severus did not leave but stood silently in the shadows by the door, unnoticed by any in the room save the Dark Lord, who dismissed him also.

"What have been your efforts in obtaining the prophecy?" Voldemort asked, still turned away from the table. The question seemed to confuse the Malfoys. "My-my Lord?" Lucius questioned.

"The one about Potter and myself, Lucius. The one you were charged with gaining; the one you lost."

Sweat beaded on Lucius's forehead as he struggled to understand the question. "My Lord, as we explained to you, it was smashed during the struggle - "

"I am aware of that Malfoy," Voldemort interrupted, clearly becoming incensed, his voice becoming harder. "What I want to know is, what have been your efforts _since you failed_ _me_ to obtain the information of the prophecy? I want to know what it contained, and I want to know what you have done to get it for me!"

"My Lord, the only way of finding that information would be to abduct Sybill Trelawney herself," Narcissa interrupted, her voice slightly steadier than her husband's. "And as she is under the direct protection of Dumbledore - "

"Then find another way," Voldemort snapped, his voice hissing in vexation. "I do not wish to hear anymore of your excuses. You have failed me, and Lucius, there is not much standing between you and your death. If you fail me once more - "

"It was not my father's fault!" Draco interrupted, his voice cracking and his pale, pointed face even paler. He seemed shocked at his own voice.

Silence permeated the room for a moment. "I see," Voldemort said, his voice soft once again. "I understand, Draco. You wish to spare your father further pain." He smiled, very slightly, and glanced at Lucius though he continued to speak to Draco in a soft voice. "Lucius was once very high in my good graces. Now however..." he left the sentence unfinished. "Perhaps you, young Draco, may redeem your family's good name?" Slitted red eyes came to rest on the young man.

Draco looked too terrified to speak, as did Lucius. Narcissa tried to interrupt, perhaps to draw the attention away from her son to herself, but Voldemort silenced her with a glance. "Draco – you are my youngest follower, yet to prove yourself. I have a task for you, and if you succeed, you will restore your family's good name, and you yourself will become one of my most important people."

Greed momentarily flickered in the pale eyes staring into the red.

"I want you to kill Dumbledore."

A soft moan escaped the throat of Narcissa, whose face turned a faint shade of green at those words.

Severus left the room silently, having gained all the information he required.


	21. Chapter 21: Unexpected

**Reviews please...**

**Please?**

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CHAPTER 21

Aeryn grimaced as her knees squished into the muddy grass the next morning. Sighing, she blew a strand of hair that had escaped its messy bun away from her face and leaned over to pull more weeds out. The yard was sizeable for a residential property, one of the boons of living on the edges of town. The downside of that was, after nearly twelve months of neglect the entire yard was filled with weeds and in serious need of some care. Keeping busy around this place was not going to be hard. Not only that, it would be welcoming. Dwelling on her thoughts wasn't going to get her anywhere.

As much as she hated gardening, it was good exercise, and that was something she rarely indulged in. Her fingers alone wouldn't be able to move after today's work. The storm of last night had made everything humid and wet, adding to her discomfort, but it felt good to be doing something.

Wiping the sweat from her forehead with a grubby forearm, she removed her wide brimmed hat to stare at the clear sky. Judging it to be nearly lunchtime, she promised herself she could go inside after she finished this one small section of garden. As she leaned back over the hated weeds though, she heard a sound from directly behind her. Jumping up and turning around quickly while drawing her wand, she saw Severus standing there watching her. The shock of seeing him so suddenly made her stumble back onto the wet grass. "Severus," she gasped; unable to believe he was here. She got up unsteadily, blushing slightly at her lack of composure. "What are you doing here?"

He looked non-plussed for a moment. "Am I not allowed to come see you at your home? Would you rather visit mine?" At her confused expression, he face went carefully blank. "I see. You would rather not continue this relationship outside of Hogwarts?"

Aeryn shook her head, more confused. "Wait, what? No - Sev, I'm sorry. I want to see you," she clarified. "You surprised me, that's all. And I haven't seen you since...for days," she finished lamely. "I haven't seen much of you the last few days."

"You have mud all over your wand."

Aeryn glanced down at her mahogany wand and realised he was right. "And all over me as well. I'm sorry I'm not really dressed for company," she muttered, glancing at her muddy attire. "Um...I really need a shower. Would you like to come in and wait while I have one?"

He nodded his head in response, the sunlight shining off his black hair, indicating for her to lead the way.

"Why didn't you just use your wand?" Severus asked as they walked onto the front porch. Aeryn had to stop to remove her muddy shoes.

"Use my wand? On you?"

"Use your wand in the garden. Why were you doing it by hand? Surely you don't enjoy getting dirty like that?" he asked distastefully.

They entered the relative coolness of the house. "Magic is good most of the time. Other times...well keeping the hands busy can keep the mind busy as well," she replied evasively.

Aeryn saw him peering at her out of the corner of her eye, seeming to hesitate. "Did you need to keep your mind busy?" he asked quietly.

"Well, you know," she shrugged, and chose not to answer his question directly. "Not a lot to do here anyway. Did you want something to drink?"

"Water, please."

Silence ensued as she poured both of them a glass from the fridge. As she downed hers in one go, Aeryn noticed how stilted, almost formal, they were acting towards each other. Each stood on opposite sides of the kitchen.

"I am sorry about that," Severus said quietly. Aeryn glanced up at his statement, noting he looked different in the fluoro kitchen lights rather than the torches at Hogwarts. "Sorry about what?" she hedged.

"For leaving you suddenly, just before term ended." He started to say something, and then stopped. Finishing his water, he placed the glass on the bench top. "I suppose you are angry with me."

Aeryn felt uncomfortable, the only sound being the hum of the fridge. This was what she wanted from him, an apology, but she felt like she had no right to chastise him. "I know you have priorities," she mumbled. "I just wish I knew what was going on."  
"I can't tell you about my job - "

"No, I mean with _us_ Severus," she interrupted quietly. Rolling the empty glass between her hands, she looked at him, noticing that he didn't interrupt her, but merely waited patiently. "You're so...so hot and cold. I understand that your work is important, but I..." she blew her cheeks out as she tried to word her thoughts. "I need reassurance, I suppose. We slept together, had a fight, then I didn't see you for three days. No word, no apology, nothing. I mean, what was I supposed to think?" she asked a trifle plaintively, looking directly at him.

Severus took three very slow steps towards her, as if he was afraid to frighten her, and took the empty water glass from her hand, placing it on the bench behind her. "Aeryn," he said in his gravelly voice, taking her by the arms very gently. "This is very hard for me. I have never been as close to anyone as I have been with you. I don't know the rules. So I apologise now for any pain I might have caused or will cause you. But I tell you now, as I have before, that you mean more to me than anyone or anything in my life." He looked away, briefly, before letting his obsidian eyes rest on hers once again. "I am not proficient in speaking my feelings, so I also apologise if what I have just said is not enough for you."

A slight smile turned the corners of the blonde woman's mouth. "No," she whispered, "I think you'll do fine. If you just say those things to me oh...every other day or so." Her slight smile grew broader at his disbelieving expression. She laughed warmly, touching his face lightly. That strange, heady feeling that always accompanied his presence threaded its way through her body, and she leaned into him, face tilted up.

Severus needed little encouragement. Although he had left her abruptly, and there were still questions unanswered between them, he was more than happy to put those aside to satiate the increasing lust he felt the longer he was around her. Even seeing her sweaty and muddy did little to dispel the feelings that coursed through him at the sight of her.

Aeryn, however, remembered her dirty condition when his fingers traced lightly through her sweaty hair, and she grimaced, her mouth a centimetre from his. "I think I need a shower first, Sev," she muttered apologetically.

He nodded once, his lips pursed, and the fire in his eyes was extinguished. "Whatever you wish," he said, a little sullenly. Aeryn skirted around him and made for the bathroom.

"Are you coming?" she threw behind her, a cheeky smile on her face.

The fire in his eyes burned once again.

* * *

The afternoon sun bathed the room in a warm light, falling across the bed and turning Aeryn's long hair, now clean and dry, a brilliant golden colour. The pale blonde locks seemed to glow from within, and Severus traced his fingers through them, marvelling at their texture. His fingers continued their light brushing across the warm smooth skin of her back, along her ribs and down her side. He stopped, however, when she twitched. Leaning up on an elbow, he tried to see her expression, which was facing away from him. "That tickles," she murmured. Aeryn rolled onto her back and stretched contentedly, before drawing the sheet up over her bare body. Severus wondered how, after all that they had shared, she could feel self conscious around him now.

Rolling onto her side to face him, she lightly brushed a strand of hair from his face, which was regarding her soberly. "Can we talk now?" she asked softly.

Severus knew the conversation from the other day regarding Lily was unfinished. "I would much rather put this bed to better use," he murmured, running his finger underneath the sheets and cupping a bare breast.

"Again?"

He nuzzled her neck. "I denied myself around you for too long. I don't think this thirst for you can ever be quenched fully."

Aeryn laughed softly, and her breath caught in her throat as his mouth became more demanding. "You beast," she reprimanded half-seriously. "I honestly can't believe you want another go. I can barely move from last time." She pushed him away and sat back against the headboard, pushing her hair off her face. "I know you are trying to avoid the conversation from the other day. But what I actually needed to talk to you about is...well, it's completely different."

Severus's curiosity was piqued. "Yes?" he asked, somewhat warily.

"Well," she began, and he saw the skin of her face begin to turn pink. "You're a potions master," she began.

"I'm glad you finally noticed," Severus replied wryly.

"I need a potion," she stated.

Severus chuckled. "You mean you're actually asking for one this time, rather than taking it without my permission?"

"This potion concerns you too, love," she said softly. "I mean, I can go to a chemist here in town, but the side effects from Muggle medicine are much more unpleasant, and they always ask embarrassing questions...not that I really care, but it's so much easier to just have you make it - "

"You're rambling, love," Severus admonished. Placing a finger on her cheek he turned her to face him. "You want a contraceptive potion?" he asked softly.

Aeryn nodded. "I suppose if we're going to be doing...doing _this_ regularly...well yes I will need one."

He nodded, all business. "I will prepare it this evening."

"At your place? You're going home?" At his affirmative nod, Aeryn felt her heart sink. "Will you be back?" she asked.

"Of course. I cannot neglect my duty as your bodyguard. I will send someone else to - "

"Wait - b_odyguard_?"

"Dumbledore appointed me your bodyguard until we return to Hogwarts."

"Won't that make things kind of hard for you?" she hedged.

Severus hesitated, wondering if he should spare her the concern, then decided she would see through it anyway. "I will not lie to you Aeryn. It will be very difficult. I must tread very lightly around the Dark Lord, countermanding his wishes without seeming to. You have other protection from the Order and Dumbledore, but if I am compromised, that protection will be virtually worthless."

Aeryn burrowed in close to his side, and looked up at his troubled expression until he returned her gaze. "I trust you with my life, Sev," she said softly. "But not at the expense of yours."

"You have no idea..." he began quietly, as if talking to himself. Then he seemed to shrug off the thought. "All will be well. I will not let anything happen to you."

She looked down at his bare chest, lightly tracing patterns with her fingertips. "I wish..." she began, and sighed. "I wish we could just run away, from everything," she said, and Severus had to strain to hear her. "All these people who want to kill us, or use us for some selfish cause, don't you hate it? Don't you wish we could just jump on a plane, and go?"

Severus was somewhat amazed at how close her thoughts resembled his own. "Don't be absurd. I wouldn't trust Muggle transport," he said, trying to make light of her serious conversation.

Aeryn didn't reply, just went back to running her fingers lightly up and down his torso. After a time, when the light grew dim, Severus knew it was time for him to leave. Aeryn seemed to sense it too. "When will you be back?" she asked, staring at him with her deep, black eyes.

"As soon as I can. Most likely tomorrow." He held her close to him briefly. "I understand that parting is painful for you, but you will be protected even if I am not here."

He felt the shake of her head against his chest. "I don't want you for protection Severus," she mumbled. "I want to know you're safe. I want to be with you as much as I can in case..." she stopped.

He pulled back slightly to look at her expression. Both of them knew he couldn't say the words to reassure them.

"I will see you tomorrow," he said instead.

* * *

Another storm was threatening to erupt in the late afternoon the next day, and the temperature dropped considerably for a summer day. Severus had not come. Aeryn tried to keep busy through the day, she tried to not look at the clock, and she tried not to worry.

As night fell, her hopes of seeing him today fell also. Midnight came and went, and she dragged herself to her empty bed. Only then did she hear a soft knock at the door.

Flying downstairs to open it, relief surged through her at the sight of Severus standing in the doorway, looking pale and drawn. Concerned words were about to burst from her lips when he spoke irritably. "You shouldn't be opening the door so readily, Aeryn. I could have been anyone," he said as he came in and locked the door behind him.

"Where have you been?" Aeryn demanded as she led him to the lounge. He slowly took a seat, the effort of doing so apparent. She kneeled on the floor in front of him, noting the weary way he held himself. "What did that bastard do to you?"

Severus leaned his head back and shut his eyes. After a moment, he shook his head. "I was not attending the Dark Lord. Dumbledore...Dumbledore needed me."

Aeryn left him briefly to return with a glass of wine. Handing it to Severus, she sat on the edge of the armchair next to him. "What did Albus want? Why do you look so bad?"

A wan smile tugged at the corners of Severus's thin lips. "Always so direct," he murmured. He nodded his thanks for the wine and took a long swallow. "Albus was..." Severus shook his head. "I very nearly lost him today."

Alarm crossed Aeryn's features. "_Lost_ him?"

The black eyes of the potions master stared straight ahead at something only he could see. "He is on a quest...ah, but I can't tell you too much. He encountered a magical object, full to the brim of dark power. Destroying it nearly destroyed him. Only my extensive knowledge of the Dark Arts saved him, I believe." The eyes lowered, and his brow creased. _For how long?_ He thought to himself. The knowledge that sooner, rather than later, Dumbledore would meet his demise, either at Draco's hand or Severus's own, shook him more than he wanted to admit.

"Did it have something to do with You-Know-Who?" Aeryn's voice interrupted his dark thoughts.

Severus scowled. She didn't know how close to the truth she was. "Don't speculate, Aeryn."

"I can't help it."

"Try. This is something that only a few know about, and that knowledge is definitely a large reason to be killed. I do not wish you to repeat anything I've told you tonight." _Even though I must pass it onto others, and they will use that information to bring him down_, he added silently. Intense hatred for himself, his position, and his duties suddenly coursed through his veins like acid. Outwardly, he tried to appear calm, but the wineglass shook.

Aeryn noticed this, but sensed he would not react kindly to her pointing out his weakness. Severus was grateful for that, but still wanted her eyes off him. He almost slammed the wineglass down, stood abruptly, and strode to the window, looking out to a black night for a time.

"Will you come to bed?"

Severus raised an eyebrow at her question, sudden after a long silence. "Are you so eager, my love?" His tone was acidic; the anger he felt was still dissipating.

Aeryn rolled her eyes. "To sleep, that's all. I think you're too...tired for anything else."

Severus returned to stand in front of her. He pulled her roughly to her feet, encircling her waist tightly with his arms. "Think again," he said against her mouth, and kissed her passionately, almost desperately, as if he could infuse this one good thing he had into his soul.

* * *

The holidays were passing quickly for Aeryn and Severus, both of whom spent their every spare moment together as they each keenly understood how quickly that could change. Aeryn worried constantly when the black tattoo on Severus's arm burned, and wouldn't rest until he had returned to her. Each time his face looked more haggard, as if something was eating at him, but he only snapped at her if she brought the subject up.

Aside from the constant worry, and the little arguments between them due to this worry, their time was spent happily. The weeks passed, and they had every night to renew their love for one another. Six weeks of absolute, uninterrupted bliss spent in each other's arms at night, and in each other's company during the day whenever possible. They swapped opinions and had discussions on everything, from literature to philosophy, Muggle studies to minority rights. Aeryn even got into a half-hearted argument with him on potions one misty afternoon, although she knew it was doomed from the start.

Severus enjoyed these discussions, and was amazed at the depth of her knowledge – although her feelings sometimes escaped her control and random objects smashed against walls or the house shook when they discussed subjects she was particularly passionate about, such as land rights of native creatures, like Centaurs. Once, he asked her about the cracks high up in the walls of the house, asking if the house had suffered an earthquake, and she told him of the time her father had come to her shortly after her mother had died and she had nearly destroyed the house. Each time Aeryn made something happen, which was very rare, she looked surprised. Voldemort's attacks on her mind were still affecting her.

The subject of Lily Potter did once more erupt. Briefly. Aeryn finally understood the pain he felt at losing this woman, and that he didn't like to speak of it. He didn't alliterate much more than on their previous discussion, and she knew him well enough now to know when to leave things in the past and not push him.

Severus was growing tense as the weeks passed. His failure to give enough information on any vulnerability surrounding Aeryn's protection was vexing Lord Voldemort, and Severus was running out of excuses. Bellatrix, Gwyneth and Malfoy began to discuss simply taking Aeryn by force; the only thing that had stopped them so far was, on the day they were reputed to having tried, Albus dropped in - ostensibly for a visit - thus disrupting their plans. Severus knew it was only a matter of time until someone tried again.

After Dumbledore had left Aeryn's house, Severus closed all the windows and curtains, re-locked all the doors and double checked on the warding around the house. He was tense, jumpy, and although he tried not to show it, Aeryn noticed.

"Will you please tell me what is wrong?" she asked from the kitchen as she was making her usual cup of coffee.

Severus came and sat tensely at the table. He looked steadily at her for a moment before answering. "Some of the Dark Lord's followers are anxious to please him, and were about to take matters concerning you into their own hands. They were only a block up the road when Albus came by."

Aeryn's eyes were wide. "Just _now_?"

Severus nodded shortly. "I don't know if Albus knew this or if it was just coincidence he happened by," he muttered quietly. "Although, knowing the Headmaster..." he trailed off. "In any case," he continued, his voice stronger, "the attempt was thwarted. But I should like stronger protection around this place for you. I am no longer enough." He looked at her sharply. "Have you had any dreams concerning the Dark Lord recently?"

Aeryn shook her head, taking a sip of coffee. "Nothing for weeks, but I have been diligently clearing my mind before sleep." She smiled slightly. "Although with you in my bed sometimes it's a little hard."

Severus seemed not to hear her last statement. "What of your sorcery? Aside from your little outbursts in recent weeks," he added.

"What do you mean? I still can't do anything with it consciously, although I haven't really tried. I..." she paused. Severus waited for her to continue. "I don't like the feeling of trying to use it and nothing happens. It...It's an awful feeling."

Severus frowned. "Start practising. I want you as prepared as possible. You told me once you defeated the Dark Lord. You were rather arrogant about it, as I recall. I want you to feel confident again."

Aeryn shuddered. "I will try," she said, and took a long swallow of coffee.

"Ugh," she muttered distastefully, glaring at the offensive mug of coffee. Severus looked inquiringly at her. "I think the milk is off," she explained. "This tastes like...well, it tastes bad," she finished, and emptied the contents down the sink. The taste remained in her mouth however, and she could still smell it, and it was suddenly so overpowering she leaned over the sink and vomited.

She paused for a few moments, still in a bent position, to ascertain that her stomach had finished removing the offensive contents. Rinsing her mouth and the sink out, she turned to Severus, who had leapt up at her sudden movement and was now standing behind her looking like he wanted to help but was unsure how to do so. "Sorry," Aeryn muttered. "You didn't need to see that. That milk must've been really off. That must be the quickest case of food poisoning I've ever - "

Aeryn stopped, her face literally turning white.

"Aeryn? What is the matter?" Severus asked, now truly concerned. "Are you going to be sick again?" She stared at him blankly, her eyes unseeing. However blank her face appeared, inside her mind was running a million miles an hour.

Six weeks.

Six weeks of completely _uninterrupted_ sex.

She mentally counted in her head, and her knees began to shake. Her period had been due about 5 weeks ago. And now, she realised, the second one was late.

"Oh shit," Aeryn whispered in a strangled voice, and ran upstairs to the bathroom.

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**Bazinga! :) **

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	22. Chapter 22: Betrayed

**I have to apologise in advance of this chapter - one: for obviously taking ages to post it when I said I had most of the story written. This section is basically a lead up to all the big stuff (which has been written) and therefore hadn't been done. ****Second: for the sloppy way it's been written. I have been studying alot this past couple weeks, on top of being a full time mum, and never seem to get to this story. When I have the leisure I'll go back and plump chapters like these up. But you get the general idea.**

**And thank you to my reviewers, especially ShellySnape, who left like 7 in a row!**

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"Aeryn, come out of there!"

Aeryn ignored the pounding on the locked bathroom door and listened to the pounding inside her head instead. All she could hear was her heartbeat, frantically beating, making a hollow rushing sound in her ears.

She couldn't be pregnant. She _couldn't_ be.

She closed her eyes and pressed her fingers to her temple. Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm down long enough to look at the facts.

She had missed her period twice. She had been experiencing pain in her breasts and some tiredness but she had attributed it to all her activity in the bedroom with Severus, until now. The smell of coffee now suddenly made her sick. Remembering the smell, even now, made her swallow convulsively.

She had already had sex a few times before she started on the contraceptive potion...she shook her head. Surely no one could fall pregnant after only a few times?

Slowly Aeryn sank down til she was sitting on the edge of the bathtub. She wasn't stupid enough – she knew sometimes it would only take one time and someone could get pregnant.

That someone was her.

The bathroom door unlocked with a click, and Aeryn glanced up to see Severus standing on the other side with his wand out, and looking angry. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he demanded, then paused when he saw Aeryn's pale face.

Aeryn opened her mouth a few times, struggling to get the words out. Saying it would make it real. "I...I think I'm..._pregnant_, Sev," she finally choked out. She waited for him to laugh, and to tell her not to be ridiculous, but there was only silence.

Finally, she looked up at his face, which was completely blank. "Well?" she hedged.

"Are you sure?" he finally asked.

"No," she said, then paused, and sighed, dropping her eyes. "Yes," she said quietly. "Yes, I'm sure. I can feel life inside me." Only as she said the words did she realise they were true. There was...another presence with her. She saw Severus start at this statement. "What do you mean, you can _feel_ another presence?" his voice sounded somewhat strained, as if he was trying to moderate it.

She shook her head, running her fingers through her hair. "It's like...it's like someone being in the room with you, but when you turn around, no one is there. You can't see them."

"Then maybe there's no one there."

Aeryn shook her head. "No, I'm sure there is."

"But you were taking my contraceptive potion...?" It was more a question.

"Yes. I was, but not right from the start."

Severus began to pace inside the small room, making Aeryn edgier. "When was your...er...when were you - " He broke off, obviously uncomfortable with the word 'period'.

Aeryn almost rolled her eyes, growing annoyed. "I was due on Monday." She looked up as Severus seemed to sag with relief. "Then you're only a few days late," he said, his voice more buoyant.

Aeryn's voice was flat. "No. I missed my last period, too. _Last month_. So this is the second time," she grated, not understanding the annoyance she felt.

After a few moments Severus paused in his pacing. His eyes were haunted somehow. "I knew this was a mistake," he muttered quietly, and Aeryn knew he wasn't speaking to her. "I should have stopped it before it even started."

Aeryn shot to a standing position in front of him. "You don't want it, do you?" she spat.

Severus looked shocked at her sudden outburst. "Do you?" he asked incredulously.

"I don't know!" she railed. "But having _you_ call this whole business a 'mistake' isn't helping!"

"Aeryn, we knew this was a mistake before we even started," he snapped, grabbing her by the arms and giving her a little shake. "But this is by far the worst consequence of our lack of control!"

"Oh, I'm _sorry_ if I've imposed on you this totally unwanted burden," she ground out acidly, breaking free from his hold. "God forbid I should be so stupid as to fall pregnant!"

"You're being unreasonable," he snapped.

"You're damn right I'm being unreasonable!" she yelled. "You're not helping by blaming me for this!"

"I'm not blaming you for anything. I'm just trying to calmly look at how this will affect us. We're not even married."

"What the hell has that got to do with it?" Aeryn asked, her tone slightly more modulated now from surprise.

"I was under the impression that people generally wanted to be married _before_ they had children." Severus said sardonically.

The idea that Severus had ever even thought about it shocked the young woman. "You want to get married? You want kids?" she asked in surprise.

Severus's face darkened. "No," he said firmly, not looking at her.

Aeryn was taken aback, and shocked when tears started furiously in her eyes. She spun and left the bathroom.

"Where are you going?" he called.

"I'm going to buy a goddamn pregnancy test so we can confirm if I'm insane or not," she spat, as she walked down the hall to collect her car keys. She turned to face him. "If I am, I can promise you we won't impose on you for anything in the future. I'll be a bloody single mum if I have to be."

Severus stared at her. "You're going to keep it," he said expressionlessly.

Aeryn's only response was to lift her chin and glare at him as the tears finally overflowed. Brushing them away angrily, she turned to leave the house.

"Wait!"

Aeryn paused, shoulders stiff, her back to Severus. He took her gently by the upper arm and turned her to face him, her back now to the door. "Will you please look at me," he asked kindly.

Aeryn's black, mutinous eyes rose to his. "I don't want children," he began quietly, "because my childhood was rather bleak; my parents argued abominably until my father finally walked out when I was thirteen. I don't want a repeat of that for this child."

Aeryn nodded. "I understand," she mumbled.

"I..." Severus struggled for words. "I need to leave."

Aeryn's eyes widened at the sudden statement. "What? Why?" she choked out.

"I need some time to think. And you cannot leave the house without me, or you will be unprotected. Just give me a few hours. I will return," he added, as he finally noticed the panicked look on her face.

Aeryn's fingers tightened on his forearms, and she lifted her chin, a determined look stealing over her features. "Make sure you do," she said tightly, only a slight tremor in her voice belaying the tension she felt at his going.

Severus kissed her lightly on the forehead, moved her aside, and walked out the door.

Aeryn fell in a heap on the floor and bawled.

* * *

Severus realised though that he didn't need time to think – once it was more or less certain he was going to be a father, he had already made up his mind. He needed time to come to grips with the reality of the situation, true, but his motives were clear. He was going to Dumbledore, to ask a favour.

* * *

Aeryn stared numbly at the ceiling of her bedroom. She hadn't eaten in hours, and was feeling nauseous, although this fact registered only faintly. She imagined she could feel protestations from her womb, but knew it was too early to feel her baby move yet.

Soft fingers stroked her temple lightly, and she jerked awake, not even realising she had fallen asleep. "Wake up, love," Severus murmured.

With a cry of relief and joy Aeryn bolted upright and threw her arms around her lover's neck, not even trying to hold back the tears. Severus rubbed her back for a few moments until she calmed enough to pull back and look at his face. He looked somehow serene. "Where have you been?" she mumbled.

His response was to smile slightly, pull her gently to her feet, and lead her downstairs to the living room, where Dumbledore waited, a small smile on his features as well. "What's going on?" Aeryn asked.

Albus looked enquiringly at Severus. "My dear boy, have you not _asked_ her?"

"Asked me what?" Aeryn interrupted.

Severus flushed slightly and turned to face the woman he loved. Glancing someone self consciously at Albus, he took Aeryn by the hands. "I've brought Albus here for a...well for a reason," he finished lamely.

"Marry me."

Aeryn looked blankly at Severus for a full ten seconds before the words registered. "What?" she choked out.

Severus looked disgruntled for a moment. "Is that your idea of a response?" he grumbled.

"Is that your idea of a proposal?" Aeryn countered, somewhat hysterically.

Severus drew breath, and glancing once more at Albus, who politely turned his back, continued. "There is a spell Albus has told me about. That, even if we are apart, I would be able to protect you better."

"And this spell involves _marriage_?"

Severus shook his head. This was not going as he had planned. "No, it does not. But after what you told me earlier...well, it seems the right thing to do."

Aeryn shook her head, trying to come to grips with the situation. "Sev, I'm coming to understand that you are a little...er, old fashioned with regard to...to things," she stumbled along. "But you don't have to marry me to make things right. Marriage is kind of...well permanent."

Severus's brow lowered. "You don't want to marry me?"

"Of course I do! It just seems as though you're only doing this because - "

"Then you _do_ want to marry me?" he interjected.

Aeryn looked helplessly at Severus for a moment. "Well, yes I suppose. If you're sure - "

Severus looked irritable. "Aeryn, close your mouth after the 'yes' part, and let's get on with it then, shall we?"

Aeryn shut her mouth with a snap, scowling. "And don't get angry either," he continued, running a finger down her lowered brows. "I love you, I want to marry you, and I want you to have my child."

It was by far the most romantic thing Severus had ever voluntarily said to her, so she gave in with good grace.

Aeryn Allen and Severus Snape were married in a shotgun wedding ceremony that afternoon, and the small smile never left Albus's lips the whole time.

* * *

It was the middle of the night. Aeryn was asleep, but Severus was still awake. He held his wife in his arms, revelling in the feeling of contentment that coursed through him. After so long, he finally felt as if he could be happy. He could finally forget Lily Evans, and think of her platonically.

Until his arm burned. Severus jerked reflexively, then checked the motion so as not to wake the woman sleeping in his arms. A cold fear settled in the pit of his stomach, quickly replacing the contentment. The Dark Lord had not summoned him in some time, and Severus was afraid that somehow, He Who Must Not Be Named had found out what he had done – marrying and impregnating the woman the Dark Lord had chosen for his own.

Gently disengaging himself from the soft arms that were draped over his naked torso, Severus left the bed and quickly got dressed. The dread had not left him, but he was master of it. He couldn't stop throwing one last look behind him at the sleeping form on the bed before he left though.

He would always try to remember Aeryn as she was now.

Apparating directly to Malfoy Manor, Severus disengaged the enchantments surrounding it and proceeded inside. He found Bella and Gwyneth standing together inside the front parlour, alone. "Where is the Dark Lord?" Severus asked in his gravelly voice.

"He left, not a moment ago, dear one," Gwyneth murmured.

Bella rolled her eyes at the other's tone and added, "You took too long to get here. I think you'll be paying dearly for it too."

Severus ignored her and spoke to Gwyneth. "Then why am I here?"

Gwyneth's beautiful features stretched into a smile. "The time has come for us to take Aeryn Allen for the Dark Lord. He is tired of waiting."

"You know that's impossible."

Gwyneth looked at Bella, whose full lips were pursed. "The Dark Lord informed us tonight that he could feel an unusual amount of protective magic around the slut's house," the red haired woman said. "He believes that because the Order of the Phoenix deems she is under stronger protection that their defences will be down."

"I needn't add, Snape, that if we fail tonight we'll all be killed," Bella snapped.

The dread that had been steadily growing in Severus's midsection threatened to erupt completely. However, he kept his voice soft and neutral. "Oh?" he inquired mildly. "And how do you propose we take her?" He allowed just a thread of scorn to colour his voice.

Gwyneth's smile grew larger. "Why, with your help, Severus dear."

* * *

Aeryn awoke in an empty bed. Glancing at the clock, she saw it was nearly morning. The unfamiliar weight of a band on her left ring finger brought a soft smile to her face, as she remembered she was now Mrs Severus Snape.

Her brow furrowed lightly as she heard no sounds from the house, and wondering where Severus had got to, decided to get up herself and get dressed.

She boiled the kettle out of habit and tried not to worry where her husband was when she found the house empty. Her mouth twisted wryly. Her _husband_. The term sounded so strange when applied to Severus.

There was a soft knock at the door. Thinking it was Severus she fairly flew to the entranceway and jerked the door open. A dark figure stood just back from the light spreading out from the entranceway. "Who's there?" Aeryn asked unsteadily. The figure walked forward. "Gwyneth," Aeryn said sharply as she recognised the red haired woman. Aeryn knew that Gwyneth was one of the Dark Lord's followers, but she didn't know if Gwyneth _knew_ she knew.

Deciding to play dumb, Aeryn lightened her tone somewhat. "What are you doing here? Rather early for a social call isn't it?"

A small smile played about the lips of the other woman. "Well this isn't exactly a social call is it?" she murmured, and struck without any warning.

Aeryn was ready for her. She parried the hex with her wand and stepping back, slammed the door. She fully believed it would hold – there were any number of protective spells around her house – and was shocked when it blew open towards her. Aeryn managed to create a shield of pure will which deflected the heavy pieces of wood shooting in her direction, but was not fast enough to block the spells coming her way on its heels.

A spell shot from Gwyneth caught her full in the chest and Aeryn went sailing back and crashed into a wall. Falling to the floor in a heap, she tried to catch her breath. Glancing up, she saw Gwyneth approaching her slowly, confidently, and just behind her another woman with dark hair.

Behind that woman was Severus.

Confusion numbed her brain and she blinked, as if to clear the image of him coming into her house with such a cold expression on his face. She almost didn't know him. Reflexively, she raised her wand, but the dark haired woman's foot connected with her wand arm, numbing Aeryn's fingers and sending her wand flying away.

Gwyneth reached down and grabbed a handful of Aeryn's long blonde hair. "Someone wants a word with you," she said softly, a malicious smile on her face.

"Incarcerous!" The dark haired woman spat, and long, thick bands of rope bound Aeryn where she lay on the floor, belatedly realising that the woman was actually Bellatrix Lestrange, an escaped prisoner from Azkaban and a full supporter of You Know Who.

Aeryn glanced up at Gwyneth's malicious, beautiful smile, and an overwhelming hatred coursed through her. That hatred manifested itself in Aeryn's sorcery, creating a fist and knocking the evil harpy off her feet. The stunned expression on Gwyneth's face before she passed out was rather satisfying.

"That's enough," a quiet voice said. Aeryn had almost forgotten Severus was standing with her attackers. She fully believed he would suddenly turn on her remaining attacker and defend her, but instead she stared incredulously as he drew his wand and pointed it at her face. "I will have no more of your antics, young lady, or I will render you unconscious. You will come with us, one way or another."

"What are you _doing_?" Aeryn choked out.

Severus glanced mildly down at her, and Aeryn could detect no warmth from him. "I'm sorry to inform you, my dear, but I have been a little dishonest about divulging my true loyalties in recent years. I belong to the Dark Lord, as you do, and it is my duty to turn you over to him, which has been my final intent for a long time now." He smiled slightly, although it didn't touch his cold black eyes. "I'm sure you understand I had to gain your trust somehow." His expression hardened and he leaned down, his eyes almost on level with hers. "And before you have one of your little temper tantrums and bring the house down around our ears, I warn you: the Dark Lord may want you but I will not hesitate to bring you to him in pieces. Now get up," he finished, and gesturing for Bella to get Gwyneth, who was still lying on the floor also, he strode through the remains of the front door.

As soon as he had left the house and walked a few meters from it – out of the view of the occupants - Severus sent a Patronus to the Order, telling them where Aeryn was being taken and to get there before anything further happened to her. He would explain everything to Aeryn later. She would probably make him pay for his little act, but he knew she loved him. She would forgive him.

He just hoped nothing would happen to prevent his explanation. The thought of her living in the world and hating him was almost as hard to bear as the thought of losing her.


	23. Chapter 23: Erased

The sun was just rising over the hills when Severus and Bella, with Aeryn and Gwyneth in tow, apparated to the hills behind Malfoy Manor. Gwyneth mumbled and her eyes opened – the pressure of Apparition was enough to wake a dead stick – and glanced blearily behind her. When she saw Aeryn, her focus cleared and she pulled her wand out, pointing it at the young woman.

"Later, Gwyn, we are almost there," Bella said irritably, pushing passed Gwyneth.

Aeryn's arms were still bound to her sides, and, coupled with the uneven ground, she stumbled often. Severus tried to steady her with one hand on her arm but she hissed and jerked her arm from his grasp when he tried to touch her. Bella seemed to find Aeryn's reactions amusing, whereas Gwyneth's eyes burned. To Aeryn, Severus barely seemed to know that his wife was bound and being taken, most probably, to her death. If it was an act, it was a good one. To Severus, however, he was keenly aware of the passage of time, and mentally preparing for the rescue he knew would come.

Aeryn had enough of this. Every time, however, she tried to concentrate and bring her will to bear, thoughts of who she was going to face intruded on her mind, and the powerlessness he had inflicted upon her in her nightmares. She drew a deep breath, and tried to infuse her anger into her will.

"We're here," Bella interrupted her thoughts as they had just arrived at the barred gates of the manor. Flicking her wand, she diffused the enchantments around them, and the group trudged on through to the front entranceway. Aeryn's heart thudded unsteadily in her throat, only slightly more so than Severus. He knew the Dark Lord would waste no time.

Lucius, Narcissa, and Draco Malfoy were all awake despite the early hour. The Dark Lord himself lounged indulgently in a chair. He never slept. Severus had noted this peculiar fact about him since his return.

"We come bearing the one you sought, master," Bella announced grandly as she waltzed into the main hall. Voldemort said nothing, but stared at the four people who had just come through the door. He sat, tracing the outline of his lips, and finally stood up, a slight smile on his face. "I am pleased Bella, Severus. But what has happened to poor Gwyneth?" he asked, noting the bruise along her jaw line.

Gwyneth's face twisted with hatred. "This one," she said, indicating Aeryn, "caught me off guard, my Lord. I thought to knock her unconscious, but it didn't work completely. It was my own fault, and I take full responsibility for my blunder."

Voldemort came and stood before them, looking down at the red-haired woman. "And you will be punished for it, I assure you. But not now," he murmured. He dismissed her with a glance and returned his gaze to Severus, who stood impassively. "Well done, Severus. I had begun to wonder if your loyalties would come into question, but I see you have come through for me. Well done indeed. You and Bella have my gratitude." Gwyneth gave a little twitch at his words.

He turned, finally, and faced Aeryn, who had gone cold at the sight of him. Whether in real life or in one of her nightmares, this man frightened her more than anyone or anything; not a single thought entered her mind to defend herself. All memories of her duel with him over a year ago were forgotten.

A horribly cold smile spread across his snake-like features as his eyes bore into her own. Pride made her raise her chin a notch, but she could manage little else. The smile on Voldemort's face deepened, and he turned away, walking slowly back to his chair. "A pleasure to see you again, my dear," he said as he went. "I had begun to think I had lost you completely, until Severus told me he had been designated your _personal_ bodyguard." He chuckled. "How fortunate for me."

Betrayal washed through her at the reminder, eliminating some of the fear inside Aeryn. She grit her teeth, wanting to say something cocky, to show him she wasn't afraid, even if she was, but she remained silent.

"My offer still stands," Voldemort said to her from his chair, the Malfoy's in various submissive positions behind him. "I am more than willing to let you live, if you voluntarily join us. And of course, there's my other condition as well," he murmured.

Bile rose in her throat as memories of how he had cruelly used her in her nightmares flashed through her mind. "Go to hell," she choked. This only evoked another chuckle from Voldemort. Bella's head snapped around to look at her. "You dare speak to him like that?" she spat, and struck Aeryn across the face. Aeryn barely kept her balance before Bella sent an Unforgiveable curse at her, making Aeryn's knees buckle. The pain only lasted a moment, however, and Aeryn saw Severus had grabbed Bella's wrist, pointing the wand away. "She is for the Dark Lord to punish!" he snarled at the fanatic woman.

"I don't need your help!" Aeryn said angrily, spoiling it with a break in her voice, and trying her best to stand with her arms still pinned.

Voldemort had watched the proceedings mutely from his chair, but Severus saw him nod his head once when Severus stopped Bella. "I applaud your bloodlust, Bella, but Severus is right. Do not overstep your bounds again." He flicked his wand in Aeryn's direction and the bonds fell about her feet in a tangled mess. "You will no longer need those." He stood up, regally, and his red eyes bore into Aeryn's own. "I grow tired of this. You will join my Order, and you will submit to my authority." His eyes grew, if possible, more piercing as he stared at her. "And you will bear my child."

"I would love to accommodate you," Aeryn choked out angrily, "but I'm afraid someone's already beaten you to it."

The room echoed with its own silence at Aeryn's words. Nobody moved.

Voldemort's eyes never left her face; his own features didn't show any emotion for what felt like an eternity. One moment he was standing in front of his chair, the next, he had swooped over to her, and dug his fingers cruelly into her abdomen.

Aeryn cried out at his intrusion, trying to push his hand away, but he only squeezed harder, his eyes still on hers, as his mind delved into her body, seeking out the life she claimed to have.

She knew the moment he found it, his fingers slackened, but his face grew furious. Aeryn fully expected to either be struck, or killed, on the spot, but he simply backed away, the furious expression frightening her more that physical violence would have.

"Whose is it?" he spat.

Aeryn didn't answer, she couldn't find her voice.  
"_Whose is it_, slut? I will have an answer before I kill you!" he cried.

Aeryn's lips trembled, and she looked directly at Severus when she answered. "_I don't know,"_ she spat, anger giving her strength. "It could belong to almost anybody." Aeryn wanted to hurt him some small measure – to get some payback for making her love him and then betraying her. She had the satisfaction of seeing him flinch slightly at her words, and then reluctantly faced the Dark Lord once again.

He had drawn his wand, and was pointing it directly at her, such anger on his face. He was on the verge of saying the last words she would ever hear when he paused.

"No," he muttered. "That is too easy for you. I should make an example of you for this." His wand dropped lower, pointing at her belly. "I won't kill you just yet Aeryn, only your child. Then, after I have finished with you, you will beg me to kill you." A malevolent smile stretched his snake face, and he drew breath.

"_Stupify_!" came a dozen voices at once, and red and green jets of light suddenly lit up the room around Aeryn. She instinctively threw herself to the floor. Around her she recognised Order members infiltrating the place, and a spark of hope that she might actually survive grew in her chest.

She saw her husband fall to the floor and his wand was thrown in her direction. Grabbing it hastily, she stood up and found Gwyneth standing before her, her own wand pointed at Aeryn. "Well now this is familiar," she said over the din of fighting in the room. "This is the last thing your father saw before I killed him."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Aeryn pushed her hair out of her face, her wand hand steadily pointing at Gwyneth. "A wizard killed my father. And although I'm sure you could pass off for a bloke, I doubt it was you," she said sarcastically.

Gwyneth smiled nastily. "Guess again, bitch. I killed your father because he suspected my involvement in trying to locate the Dark Lord when he was...absent. Dolohov told the authorities it was he who killed your father, but I struck the killing blow. You should have seen the look on his face," she laughed lightly, then grew serious. "But I didn't hate him as much as I hate you, Aeryn. I. _Owe_. You." she snarled, and struck at Aeryn with a powerful hex. Aeryn blocked it, just, but found her own duelling skills were no match for Gwyneth. The rage she was feeling at Gwyneth's admission however fuelled her, and she found herself drawing more and more on her Sorcery to attack and defend, and gradually she gained the upper hand. The air around them crackled and hissed like a live wire as they fought, and people around them drew back at the fury of the magic surrounding them.

Gwyneth's wand suddenly snapped from her fingers, and she glared insanely at Aeryn, and with such rage, before she Disapparated to follow her fellow Death Eaters. Aeryn glanced around, and seeing only Order members left in the house, lowered Severus's wand. She saw that he was the only one taken captive, and found she was grateful his betrayal wouldn't go unpunished. Allowing his wand to fall to the floor, she turned her back on his still form.

"Come with me," Kingsley Shacklebolt said abruptly from behind her. His strong arm took her own as he guided her from the house.

"We must get you to the Ministry, right away Miss Allen," Kingsley said in his deep voice as he towed her along. His eyes scanned the sunlit hills about them, constantly moving. Aeryn didn't bother to correct him about her name – no one knew she was _Mrs Severus Snape_, and she intended it to stay that way.

Aeryn stopped and disengaged her arm abruptly. "No," she said firmly. "Albus. Albus Dumbledore - we must see him."

Kingsley regarded her seriously, but silently, and finally nodded. "Very well. We will apparate to Hogsmeade."

The small village of Hogsmeade was silent – strangely so, as it was nearly lunchtime - and the trip to Hogwarts just as voiceless. Aeryn's brain was a confused jumble of everything that had happened in just a few short hours. One thing stood out clearly from the noise inside her head – that of Severus's betrayal. Something was niggling at her mind though, but she wasn't in a state to unravel it at the moment. A few tears escaped her eyes as she fought back the flood of images in her mind, and the salt stung the cut under her eye she had sustained in her duel with Gwyneth.

Kinglsey hesitated outside the Headmaster's office. "Er...I don't actually know the password, Professor Allen. Could you help me out?"

"Dumbledore," Aeryn said hoarsely. "It's always 'Dumbledore' during the holidays."

The stone gargoyle moved aside, and they climbed the stone steps to the Headmaster's office.

The door opened before Kingsley had even knocked, and the Headmaster himself stood in the doorway. Wordlessly he took Aeryn's arm and steered her towards a chair, indicating for Kingsley to take another one. Minerva stood silently near them, looking at Aeryn with a face full of pity.

It was the pity that shook Aeryn from the noise in her head. "Don't look at me like that, Minerva," she snapped. "I'm perfectly alright."

"Of course you are, my dear. You always were strong, and today shows that you still are," came the soft voice of the Headmaster. He came and took a seat directly across from the school counsellor. "Aeryn. Tell me everything that happened in recent events. It's very important that you tell me _everything_."

She looked at him with apprehension. "There...there are certain details that-well I don't see how they'd affect anything..." she trailed off lamely. Glancing at Kingsley and Minerva she nodded. "Everything. But only you."

Dumbledore nodded to the two. "Please wait outside. We will continue shortly."

After they left, Aeryn drew a deep breath. It seemed to stick in her throat. How could she tell him about the child? She had barely had time to register the life growing inside her herself, let alone tell others. Severus didn't think it was his...

Dumbledore interrupted her chaotic thoughts. "Aeryn. Just start from where you and Severus left me yesterday. After the wedding ceremony."

The words came haltingly, with many pauses as Aeryn gathered her thoughts, but gradually she told Albus about finding out she was pregnant just before Severus asked her to marry him, and about Bellatrix and Gwyneth coming to her house to take her back to Voldemort, and how Severus had helped them. Disbelief coloured her voice as she recollected. "How could he just-just turn me over like that?" she asked desperately of Albus.

Only compassion showed in his eyes, but Albus said firmly, "do not dwell on the past, now, Aeryn. It will do no good, and we have many things to do before this day's end."

She nodded, and, swallowing, continued her story. It helped to think that she was telling it from someone else's view, and her voice slowly became steadier. She told Albus about the duel with Gwyneth, and the moment Voldemort found out about her pregnancy. Rage and fear coupled together to make her almost incoherent. She drew a deep breath.

"That's pretty much it," she continued flatly. "That's when Kingsley, Tonks, Lupin and the rest showed up."

Albus was silent for a moment, digesting all the information. "Aeryn, my dear, we must move swiftly now. Lord Voldemort will not let this infraction go unpunished. He will kill you if he can find you."

He stood and moved to a glass cabinet. Opening it, he withdrew a large vial full of a thick shimmering material within it. He waved his wand negligently towards the door, and Aeryn noticed for the first time that his hand looked blackened, diseased. She was about to ask him about it when the door opened to permit Minerva and Kingsley to enter.

Albus held up the vial for them to see, but addressed Aeryn. "This is you new life, Aeryn." At her perplexed look, he continued. "As of this evening, Aeryn Allen no longer exists. These are the memories of a young Muggle woman, who died tragically only last night. You will understand shortly," he said at her continued confusion. "I want Kinglsey and Minerva to bear witness to this, in the event something happens to me. Your memories will be stored here in their place Aeryn."

He walked slowly back towards the young woman, and sat before her once again. "You will become Amanda Evans. It was only by chance that I came across such a good candidate for you to replace.

Amanda Evans' husband died in a boating accident about a month ago. The real Amanda was in a car accident several weeks later, and has been intensive care in a London Hospital for a week. Unfortunately, Mrs. Evans has just passed away last night, and you will be taking her place. You will, in essence, _be_ Amanda Evans. Unless someone acquires your memories and restores them, nothing they do to you will bring out the truth of who you really are. There may be some residual traces of the real you inside, but they will be vague, and you will probably dismiss them."

He got to his feet and held his wand and the vial aloft. "Do you have any questions before I begin?"

Aeryn felt traces of panic. This was happening all too fast. There was no time to process what had happened tonight, to consider whether Severus had really betrayed her or if it was all an act, and he really did love her.

On the other hand, maybe she didn't want to look too closely at those memories. There would be time, one day, when she returned to herself.

She stood. "I am ready," she said, with only a slight tremor in her voice.

Suddenly she felt warm, bony arms around her, holding her tightly. "Please be careful dear," Minerva said fiercely. "We want you back." And she let go abruptly, leaving the room.

Kingsley took her hand and shook it. "Out acquaintance has been brief, but I think you will pull through from this." He looked at Dumbledore. "I will wait outside." Then he too left the room.

Aeryn turned and faced the Headmaster squarely, her chin lifted a little. "Let's get this over with."

Dumbledore let go of the glass vial, allowing it to float next to him. With one hand he wielded his wand while the other, injured hand seemed to beckon to the memories in the vial, and the stopper came loose. They pulled themselves almost reluctantly away from their previous home, and floated ominously towards the young woman. Aeryn watched them warily, and sat down in the chair before her legs could run away of their own accord.

Dumbledore's hand made a pushing motion, and the silvery substance covered Aeryn's face, and seemed to dissolve into it. She slumped into the chair as her brain tried to readjust, and in that moment Dumbledore reached out with his wand, and with the tip, placed it against her temple and drew line after line of Aeryn's own memories from her, emptying them into the vial.

After a few minutes, the traces became less, until they were all stored in the vial marked 'Amanda Evans'.

Dumbledore, as a last resort, placed a Sleeping Charm over the young woman, so she would awake and continue the life of Amanda where it had left off. He stoppered the glass vial, and turned towards the door. "Mr Shacklebolt," he called softly.

The black man entered the room, and noticing the inert figure on the chair, said "It is done?"

Dumbledore nodded. "We have much to do before we can put her into this new life, and only a few short hours to do it in. I will need your help to modify many memories today. No one must discover her by mistake." He brushed a loose strand of blonde hair from Aeryn's temple.

He suddenly slashed with his wand and the blonde tresses fell to the floor, leaving her hair chin length. Another slash and her hair became straight and dark brown. "A temporary measure," Dumbledore murmured. "She will have the desire to keep it that way however." His lips quirked wryly. "One of my little 'tweaks' to her personality that will help keep her anonymous."

He turned and faced Kingsley. "Aeryn Allen is no more." Dumbledore said gravely. "At least, not until the Dark Lord is dead."


	24. Chapter 24: Amanda

CHAPTER 24

Amanda

Black eyes slowly creeped open, and looked incuriously around. The room was unfamiliar – the walls were white and unmarked, and there was the sound of beeping nearby. "_Doctor Gupta, call on line 2. Doctor Gupta, call on line 2_" echoed briefly through to her room. A hospital, she realised. Why was she in a hospital?

She turned her head slightly. Sitting in a chair next to her, she could see, was a woman who seemed familiar, yet strange. The woman was looking worriedly into her black eyes, and with a jolt, she realised who it was. "Mum?" she croaked, her voice sounding strange.

The older woman nodded and burst into tears, placing a loving hand on the young woman's brow. "Yes darling, that right. Oh thank God, Amanda. The doctors said you might not ever wake up."

_Amanda_. _Is that who I am?_ After a few groggy moments, Amanda, if that was who she really was, struggled to recollect herself. "Where am I? What happened?"

"Don't you remember dear? You were in a car accident." The woman began stroking Amanda's brown hair from her drawn face. "The police think you fell asleep at the wheel, but I can't imagine that you would ever drive tired. That was two weeks ago. You...you hit your head honey, and there was some internal damage. But it was the head trauma..." The woman broke off as her voice shook. "They couldn't tell me what was wrong, or if you'd wake up. Something to do with swelling of the brain..." she paused again and wiped her eyes. "You've been here ever since. Thank God you're alright. Thank God the baby's alright."

"Baby?"

"Yes dear. You're pregnant. Don't you remember?"

Amanda struggled for a moment, trying to remember. "Yes...yeh. And my husband's dead, isn't he?" Amanda said the words like they belonged to someone else, but she vaguely remembered a set of eyes, black like her own, and a hooked nose belonging to her husband, accompanied by a sharp feeling of loss.

Her mother's eyes filled with sympathy. " I'm sorry honey. It would have been awful to lose you and your baby so soon after he left us. God was watching over you both." She smiled and stood up. "Just wait a moment, I need to call your father and tell him you're awake. I better find a nurse, too." She paused. "Will you be alright for a few minutes?"

Amanda nodded, her head feeling as though it wasn't attached to her body.

The woman pulled out a phone and stepped away for a moment. Amanda heard the elation in her voice as she spoke to the person on the other end as she hurried up the hallway. Her father. Everything seemed so unreal, as if she was dreaming, but Amanda Evans remembered her father – a short man with a rather large belly and a very happy, cheerful countenance.

Amanda's mother came back to her side after a few minutes, taking her hand and holding it. "Your father is leaving work now, he'll be here in an hour or so, depending on the traffic. I've also let the nurse know you're awake; he's sending for the doctor now. How do you feel, darling?"

Amanda pushed herself into a more upright position, after pushing the button to raise the bedhead. Her arms felt so shaky. "Incredibly weak. And a little tired, but alright I guess."

"Well you haven't used your muscles for a few weeks. You'll have to take things slowly, honey. No marathons for a little while." Her mother smiled. Anna. That was her name, Amanda remembered finally.

"Everything's a little hazy. I'm having trouble remembering details."

"Such as what?" Anna asked with a puckered brow.

"Like just now, I only just remembered your name. And when I saw you, I didn't know you were my mum at first. Where do I live? Where is this hospital? What happened in the accident?" Amanda started feeling the first traces of panic, and it showed in her voice.

Her mother squeezed her hand encouragingly. "Please don't worry, Manda. You've never been the sort of person to break down easily; we'll get through this. I'm sure your memories will return in time. And if they don't, well, we'll deal with it when the time comes. We'll be here for you, like we always have been."

Womtail held a hand to a bloody, pouting lower lip as he scurried back from Severus's wrath. "What do you mean, _disappeared_?" The potions master shouted at him. "A person doesn't just 'disappear', specifically when the Dark Lord is looking for them. Well? Answer me!"

Wormtail once again cringed back. "She was reputed to be returning to Howarts. But she's not there, and she's not at her Muggle residence," Wormtail said sulkily. "No one knows where she is."

Severus viciously grabbed the lapels of Wormtail's grotty shirt, pulling him off his feet and to the matching height of Severus. "_You will find her_," he spat in Wormtail's face. "And you will bring her to _me_ unharmed. Go. Now." And he shoved the smaller, cowering man away from him, dismissing him from his mind.

Severus wanted to scream with rage, and curse everyone and everything around him. When Severus had confronted Dumbledore about Aeryn's whereabouts, the old man had flatly refused to pass on any information. It had come to blows, then. Severus had attacked the old man, and even in his weakened state, Dumbledore had deflected spells and curses as if they were moths. He never once attacked the younger man, but simply let the insane rage run its course until Severus fell in a heap of black cloth on the granite floor, gasping for breath and glaring angrily at Dumbledore.

Part of him, a very small part, understood the old man's reasonings. Temporary or not, Severus felt he had the _right_ to know where his _wife_ was, but Dumbledore did not believe the information could be kept secret when Severus was so close to the Dark Lord. He had looked down at Severus with pity and sorrow in his blue eyes, making Severus want to snatch them out.

A loud, discordant noise rang through the Evan's residence early one morning a few weeks later. Anne came running into the music room to see Amanda glaring at the piano, her fists still resting on the keys. "What's the matter?" Anne asked apprehensively, knowing the answer, as her own musical ear was well developed.

"I can't _play_ anymore," Amanda muttered angrily. "I can't hear the notes in my head anymore."

"But you were playing fine the other day," Anne replied, leaning against the doorframe.

"That's because I was _reading_ the music, not playing it from my head." Amanda looked hopefully at her mother. "Can pregnancy mess with your head enough that you can lose pitch?"

Anne frowned. "I doubt it, but maybe it can. I think, though, that you are just having a bad day." She tried to placate her daughter.

Amanda's eyebrow raised in response. "A bad day?" she asked sarcastically. To prove a point, she played a B flat with the sustain pedal held down so she could sing the note with the piano. Not only did Amanda miss the note, she couldn't hold her voice steady on one pitch. Anne winced. "I see your point," the older woman said, although she had heard her daughter's playing for several days, and knew it was more than just 'a bad day'. "Well, maybe it's the pregnancy then," Anne said. "Or maybe it was the head trauma from the accident. You've always had perfect pitch, Amanda, you got that from me. I don't know what could've changed that."

Amanda got up and moved angrily away from the piano to glare out the window, her hands resting unconsciously on her abdomen, which had begun to swell. It was as if she had never played music in her life before.

Severus roused himself enough to pour another drink, then leant his head back into his hands. Dumbledore was dead. Severus had killed him. Orders or not, it was the hardest thing he had ever done, to say those words, to conjure up enough hate in his mind to be able to perform the Unforgiveable curse, to take his mentor's life away. Their relationship was so strained by the end, and Severus felt he would never have closure on the old man's death. And now there was no lead on Aeryn. She was gone.

Amanda stared out the window and watched the leaves get thrown around in the autumn wind. She did that alot now, stared out the window, ever since she had come home from the hospital all those months ago. "I swear," she muttered, "I would rather go twenty rounds in a sparring ring than carry this kid for another minute," Amanda groaned, arching her back to relieve some of the pressure. "I think I would even be able to breathe better, even with a mouthguard," she grumbled.

Anne came over to where her daughter was gazing out the window and began to gently rub the younger woman's lower back. "His father was a blackbelt. You're a blackbelt. Martial arts is in this kids genes - I'm surprised he hasn't tried to break your ribs from inside you. I seem to recall it felt like you were trying to kick your way out when I was pregnant with you," Anne said with a fond smile, still rubbing.

"Yeh, well, don't think I'll be fighting anyone for a while," Amanda muttered. "I just want this thing _out_."

"Three more days maximum, honey. Then the doctor will induce. We'll know one way or another in three days time."

"Cos being induced sounds _so_ much more preferable," Amanda said sarcastically. The doctor had told her that if she went more than two weeks past her due date, she would have labour artificially induced, and from what Amanda's experienced mother friends had told her, it wouldn't be fun.

"Your life will be so different in just a few days time," Anne said, almost to herself. "I just hope you don't go into labour before your father's plane gets in."

Amanda's husband had had red hair. Amanda had brown hair. Tobias Evans, even at three months old, definitely had black hair, and a headfull of it. _One of those genetic throwbacks, I guess_, Amanda thought, not for the first time, as she watched her young son squirm on his play mat. She smiled down at him from the chair she was sitting in, and was rewarded with one in turn. He had only just learned to smile back at her, fairly late in his development, and he was a very serious baby. Amanda couldn't remember her husband, but hoped that Tobias didn't get his personality from her.

"Will you be right with him, mum? I won't be gone long," Amanda asked, getting up from the chair where she had been tying her shoes. Once having got the all clear from the doctor post partum, Amanda had wasted no time in getting back to her fitness regime. It had been a struggle – she had felt incredibly weak to start, and incredibly sore after each workout session. As she had been practising martial arts since she was ten, her body was used to high impact and lots of exercise, and had always bounced back if she had to stop or have time off for any reason for any length of time. But not this time. Apparently childbirth had been more taxing that she realised, because her muscles didn't appear to know what exercise even was.

"Take it easy this time," Anne called from the kitchen door as Amanda headed out into the freezing winds. Winter was nearly over, and for that Amanda was grateful.

Today she took a different route, preferring instead to go through parks and walkways where there were alot of people. She generally liked to go when and where there weren't alot of onlookers, but today she felt her performance would improve if there were others around.

She jogged past a younger couple, pushing a pram and walking a husky; past several other people braving the cold winds and walking briskly or running; past an elderly couple muffled against the breeze and holding hands. For a moment Amanda felt regret and not being able to grow old with her husband, as she would've planned to do, but as she hardly remembered him she didn't dwell on the past. Her mind wandered as her feet took her where they would.

The cold winds felt icy against the sweat on her brow as she jogged through the park and out the other side, into what was clearly a dilapidated part of town. As she turned a corner, she came to an alley that, in the dimming light, didn't look inviting. Amanda decided at the point it was time to turn around and head back to more familiar areas. Blackbelt or not, she still wasn't incredibly fit, and no match if someone pulled a gun on her in a secluded alley.

As she made that decision to head home, a side door in the alley opened, and out stepped a black haired man in strange, black robes. She caught a glimpse of a sallow face, black eyes and a shocked, terrible expression for a moment before turning and exiting the alley.

"Aeryn?" The man behind her called, his voice cracking. Amanda picked up her pace and headed back out onto the street. "Wait! Stop! _Stop_!" His voice snapped behind her. Amanda didn't think twice, but took off across the road, reaching the other side just as a funny shaft of red light passed close by her. Aeryn ran for her life back through the park, causing onlookers to stare at her frightened expression. It wasn't until she had made it back to the familiar houses in her street did she look behind her at the empty road and start to slow.

"Good grief. Amanda Evans where have you been? What's wrong?" her mother asked her worriedly as Amanda came inside and hurriedly slammed and locked the door.

Amanda was breathing heavily but tried to calm down as she took in her mother's anxious expression. "Nothing, mum. Nothing. Just some...dogs chasing me earlier so I ran a little faster than normal," she said, with a false smile. Anne looked at her for a long moment before a small, tired cry came from the other room. Anne rolled her eyes. "And I just got him to sleep until you came storming in," she muttered.

Amanda's breathing slowed. "He's probably hungry. Let me have a quick shower and I'll feed him."

The strange, black eyed man dwelled in her thoughts as she showered hurriedly and went to feed her yowling son. She had never seen him before, but there had been something about him...she felt as if she ought to know him, or someone who looked like him.

_Crazy_, she thought, shaking her head. _He_ _was probably the local bum. Look at what he was wearing_.

Severus's heart slammed into his chest at a million miles an hour as he watched the familiar form fleeing into the park. Brown hair or not, he _knew_ that face anywhere.

Amanda's training regime continued. She felt for every step gained it was three backwards, but she persisted. Gradually her body became used to her strict regime, her running times shortened, her punches became more accurate again. Every now and then Amanda would feel despair that she would ever be back to the standard she had been before pregnancy, no, before her car accident, but then she would look at how far she had come and she would sigh and keep running. Between her martial arts fitness regime and running nearly every day, her strength had increased, and the car accident was just a bad memory. Today her time had been the best ever, and she was thrilled.

Amanda slowed her gait as she turned into the empty street that was the final leg of her run, letting her stride shorten and her breath slow as she neared her front driveway. The music still blared in her ears so she looked down briefly to adjust the volume. When she looked up again, there were three people standing just outside her house, and they were dressed...unusually. Their black robes billowed in the afternoon breeze, but they stood as still as statues. And they were staring right at her. The hackles on the back of Amanda's neck raised; something was very wrong here. She could've sworn they weren't there when she started down her street.

She pulled the earphones from her ears as she approached them and tried to get her breath back as she studied these three unusual people. They were all dressed in long, flowing black robes. The woman in the centre had messy, thick black hair and heavy lidded eyes. She looked like she hadn't eaten for a week. The man on the right had long blonde hair and a self-absorbed, haughty expression. And the man on the left...Aeryn's eyes narrowed. She had seen him before – the man in the alleyway, a few weeks ago.

The woman in the centre smirked as Amanda approached. "New hairstyle, love? Looks terrible on you, actually."

Amanda didn't bother to respond. These freaks looked crazy, but nothing she didn't think she couldn't handle.

"No comment?" The woman raised her well defined eyebrows with a smirk.

"What do you want?" Amanda asked.

"Why _you_, of course, dear lady. We've been looking for you for a very long time," the blonde haired man said in a smooth, soft voice.

"Really?" Amanda answered flatly. "What do you want with me?"

"The Dark Lord is very put out with you dear," the blonde man said, almost as if he was admonishing a naughty child. "He wants a word or two with you." The three of them took a few steps forward, in sync, towards Amanda. She didn't step back, but braced her feet hip distance apart casually, although in truth steadying her stance so if she needed to take steps, she could. "What's that supposed to mean?" she asked.

"It's time to forfeit your life, bitch," the black haired woman spat, as she reached into her robes. She gasped, however, as Amanda reacted quickly. With a swift crescent kick, she swept the object from the woman's hand with her foot, sending a thin wooden object spinning along the road. The black-haired woman cried out angrily and cradled her wounded hand against her chest. "Get her, Malfoy!"

The blonde haired man also drew a thin strip of wood and pointed it at her. Amanda looked at him incredulously for only a moment before pain radiated throughout her entire body. She screamed and fell to the bitumen writhing, but her brain couldn't comprehend where the pain was coming from. They weren't even touching her.

The pain stopped suddenly, however, and she looked up to see the second, dark haired man holding the wrist of the first; the piece of wood pointing to the sky. "She must be whole for the Dark Lord!" he said angrily to Malfoy.

"Getting squeamish, Severus?" The one called Malfoy hissed.

Amanda stumbled up from the ground, and her momentum carried her forward as she crashed into the black haired woman, grabbing her in a figure four– a head lock that choked off the blood flow to the brain. She spun her around to face the men. "Back off!" she spat, "or I'll choke this bitch!"

The two men ceased their struggle to look at her in amazement. "She has a bit more fire in her now, doesn't she, Snape?" Malfoy commented to the other man. "Fine," he said unconcernedly to Amanda, "kill Bellatrix. She gets in the way anyway." A small sound like a muted screech came from the struggling woman in Amanda's arms. Malfoy continued. "When you're done, though, you'll still have to face us. And you can't choke all three of us at once."

Amanda didn't really want to kill anyone – her training was always defensive, not offensive. So she shoved the one called Bellatrix at the men and ran in the opposite direction as fast as her tired legs would take her.

Something struck her in the back, and she felt asphalt scraping her knees before blackness engulfed her.

Malfoy and Snape walked slowly to the inert figure lying in the middle of the road. The sun had finally gone down. Bellatrix had hurled a few hoarse curses at them before retrieving her wand and disapparating.

Severus's chest constricted painfully as he looked down at the woman who was his wife. Malfoy turned her over with a foot, almost distastefully, and it was almost more than Severus could do to stop himself from stunning the blonde-haired wretch and taking Aeryn to safety.

Severus gazed at the familiar features. It had been so long since he had seen them...her hair was completely different, and it didn't suit her. She also looked fitter, more toned. Evidently she had been busy in the year or so since he had seen her last. But this was still the woman he loved, and it would be hard to keep her safe as well as keep his promises.

"See something you like?" Malfoy asked with an amused grin, watching Snape look down on the girl. He leered. "She's not bad to look at, but I like my women with a little more class. Maybe the Dark Lord will let you have her before he kills her," he said, before reaching over and grasping a slender wrist of the one they had come for. "Give me a hand, will you?"

Severus almost pushed the man out of the way. "You're lazy, Lucius," he said, as he bent over and picked Aeryn up, cradling her in his arms.

Both men disapparated with a crack.


	25. Chapter 25: Aeryn

CHAPTER 25

Amanda regained consciousness to the sound of laughter. It sounded almost as if a party was going on, and for a moment she thought she must have drunk too much and passed out. But as recollection dawned, she realised she hadn't done anything like that since falling pregnant with Tobias. Then she felt the cold stones under her cheek and the stinging in her knees and on her chin and realised this was no party.

Opening her eyes groggily, Amanda realised she was lying on the floor in the middle of an unfamiliar room, with people all around her, all dressed in black robes, and all ignoring her innate form. She tried to sit up, and realised her entire body was bound in thick ropes.

_What the hell is going on?_ she thought. She didn't immediately panic; practical as always, she would only panic when there was really something to panic about. She lay there, unmoving, as she tried to get her bearings.

The room seemed very large – it almost seemed to reverberate with the voices of the many people it contained. It was also cold, even though she could see the flickering of flames from a fire reflecting from the stone walls. There was a table to her left – she could make out one end of it out but couldn't see further. And there were at least half a dozen people around her that she could see, and very likely more where she couldn't see. Much, much more than she could handle alone.

"Look who's awake," hissed an unfamiliar voice. "Lucius, you're much too harsh with your stunning spells."

Amanda felt herself being roughly lifted into a sitting position by her short, brown hair. Her eyes watered from the pain in her scalp, but she didn't cry out. Who were these bastards? Some sort of cult? If she could get to a phone, or get away, she could call the police...

"You're looking very fit and healthy, my dear," said a cold voice. "Been working out?" He laughed.

The whole room laughed sycophantically with him. She didn't answer, but her eyes flickered quickly around the room, hoping to find an exit.

Amanda looked around from her position on her scraped knees to face the voice. A man – if it could be called a man - was staring at her with slitted eyes full of cold amusement. Her lips curled in disgust as she registered his awful, snakelike, inhuman features, but she schooled her face into blankness.

"Would you like me to release you?" The man drawled quietly. When Amanda remained silent, he did likewise. She knew he wanted her to ask him to cut the ropes. _No point in begging, but I'm just a little outnumbered here, _her voice said quietly in her mind. She nodded imperceptibly. The man flicked his hand, holding another of those sticks of wood, in her direction. The bonds came immediately came loose around her. Her eyebrows drew together in confusion. She couldn't explain that, but now wasn't the time to unravel the world's mysteries.

Amanda got slowly to her feet to face her agressors squarely. "What do you want with me?" she asked steadily.

"Why, to finish off where we started," the man said. No one else spoke, but watched silently.

Amanda was very, very confused. This awful looking man acted as if he knew her, but Amanda knew she hadn't seen him before.

"I told you before, if you cross me, I will kill you." He stated it simply, as if it was a fact, not a threat.

Amanda now became seriously concerned. "What the hell are you talking about? I've never seen any of you before. What do you want?" she repeated.

The man before her traced his lipless mouth with a white, tapered finger, staring at her thoughtfully. "Crucio!" he said lazily as he flicked the piece of wood in her direction.

Amanda once again found herself on the floor writhing. She grit her teeth – she would not cry out. The pain was unbearable – her eyes watered and she tasted blood as she bit her tongue, but no sound escaped her lips.

The pain ceased. "You are stronger than when we last met, but it would not take long for me to render you a gibbering heap. So, would you like to continue your little game?"

Amanda struggled to her feet the moment the pain stopped. Pride gave her strength. She would not grovel before these people, whoever they were. "I speak the truth," she panted. "I don't know who you are or what you want with me, and I demand you let me go!" her voice became steadier as she went.

The ugly one raised the stick-thing again and pointed it at her, but before he could speak the words he was interrupted. "My Lord." It was the black haired man who seemed familiar to her. "My Lord," he said again. "Her memories have been removed. She does not know who you are. She speaks the truth." He echoed her words.

A hairless eyebrow on the Lord-guy raised. "Obliviate?" Amanda didn't understand the question. And why wouldn't they say his name? Lord _who_? If she could get a name, she would know who to tell the police, and make this prick and his buddies answer for their crime.

The black-haired man nodded. "Even more so. I believe they have been entirely removed, and replaced with those of a Muggle." _Muggle?_

The Lord laughed lightly. "Oh how typically Albus Dumbledore. He knew I would not kill her unless she realised who she was. Where are her memories now?"

Silence answered his question. The lord's face was no longer pleasant. "Where are they?" he demanded. "I will kill this woman tonight. She will pay for defying me. She has lived too long already, and I will see this matter done. _Where are they?"_

Amanda trembled where she stood, the cold infusing her bare legs and arms. She had no idea what was going on, who these people were, or what it was they thought she had done. Her lips were numb, but she would not beg.

"You will require these, my Lord," a soft, musical voice, a woman's voice, said from the back of the room.

As one, the body of people turned to face the new person. Amanda heard the woman's steps as they lightly tread across the stone floor towards her and her aggressor. As she faced her, she almost gasped. She was the most beautiful woman Amanda had ever seen, and what was so confusing was she seemed so familiar. Her pale face was ageless – she could have been twenty-five or fifty-five, or even one hundred and five, but her cold face was unlined. Her floor length jet black hair seemed to throw a darkness around her as she walked, and Amanda noticed the people in the room seemed to shy away from that darkness, and that they watched this woman warily. Her eyes, just as black, were cold and expressionless as she walked towards the Lord, who still stood in front of Amanda.

As she reached him, she held out a glass vial with a label – one Amanda couldn't make out. "These are Aeryn Allen's memories, my Lord," she clarified, and handed the vial to the Lord as if she was bestowing a knighthood on him.

The Lord glanced at the beautiful woman amusedly. "Thank you, Jahren. As always, your services are of the highest kind. I wouldn't even begin to understand how you came by them."

The woman, Jahren, didn't answer, but turned to face Amanda, scrutinising her features. "Something isn't right," she said, half as if she wasn't even talking to her, but to someone else. She took a few steps towards Amanda, and held out a soft, white hand, drawing the younger girl around to face the light of the fire. The black haired woman took in the bloodied chin and knees of Amanda, and touched the younger woman's cheek lightly, making Amanda flinch slightly.

Jahren's eyes momentarily seemed to soften as she perused the young, brown haired girl, who could not tear her eyes away. She reached back and pulled out the messy ponytail Amanda had done as she left for her jog, letting it hang loosely to her narrow shoulders. Running her thin white fingers through the brown hair, she said absently, "This isn't how I left you." And as her fingers ran through the brown locks once more, Amanda's hair changed from dark brown to pale blonde, seeming to grow from her scalp, and curling as they grew longer. Jahren's fingertips trailed down towards the floor, and the blonde, wavy hair grew with the movement, stopping at the girl's hips.

Amanda gasped and took a step back, holding the long, curly blonde locks that fell about her body disbelievingly. "What have you done? What is this crap?" she cried.

Jahren looked at her calmly, but her finger tapped her lips as she studied the young woman. "No, that isn't right either," she mused, and reached once more for the young woman. Amanda took several hurried steps backward. "Hold still," Jahren muttered, and Amanda felt herself complying.

The pale fingers once more trailed through Amanda's hair, and the blonde hair darkened to black, almost as black as Jahren's own, but still wavy, as opposed to Jahren's dead straight hair. "That's better," she said softly, her eyes still cold. "That is how I left you."

She turned to the Lord, who had watched these proceedings silently. Her black eyes seemed to glow from within. "You may restore her memories to her now. It is only fitting she understands what is going on before you try to kill her." Several people in the room gasped at the implication that the snake man would be unable to complete his execution. Jahren said nothing more, simply smiled coldly. And she turned and left, as quietly and as gracefully as she had come.

The Lord still had an amused turn to his lips. As Jahren left, he murmured, "I would kill her for her insolence if she wasn't so useful." He clicked his fingers, once. "Severus. Restore this woman to her rightful self."

The familiar, black-haired man took the vial from the Lord. "At once, my Lord," he murmured respectfully.

Amanda took a step back away from the one called Severus as he approached, but found her arms locked in a firm grip by someone behind her. The weirdness of the days' turn of events caught up to her, and Amanda now knew a desire to escape that was almost suffocating. She forcefully slammed her heel into the in-step of the person behind her, gaining a grunt from them, but more importantly, a slackened grip. She pulled from their grasp, and spinning, threw a backfist into that person's face.

She didn't watch the man fall to the floor, already she heard someone coming up behind her. The black-haired familiar man, the one she had heard call Severus, was rushing up behind her. She snapped a quick side kick at his midsection, catching him in the ribs, and causing him to stumble, winded. Before she could flee, however, pain once again radiated through her body, and she found herself writhing on the flagstones.

"Stop!" she finally managed to gasp out, hating herself for the weakness that made her cry out.

The pain lingered for an eternal second more, then gradually declined, leaving Amanda shuddering on the floor. She raised pain-shrouded eyes to the one that could hurt her so, and noticed a thin, satisfied smile on his flat face.

"Avery? Severus?" he gestured to the two men gracefully, and spoke so quietly.

Amanda watched a man with a bloody nose descend on her. Once again she felt herself hoisted to her feet by the convenient handle of her hair, which was now considerably longer and half obscuring her vision. Strong arms wrapped around her torso, pinning her arms to her sides painfully. She shook her hair from her eyes in time to see the one called Severus holding his own stick-thing in front of him, and his sallow face turned towards the glass vial that was _floating in mid air_. Amanda barely had time to register this impossible feat when the stopper came out, along with it a silvery substance that also floated towards her.

A small sound escaped Amanda's throat as she struggled harder than ever, trying to simultaneously step on the toes of her jailer and smash the back of her head against his already broken nose. The air was squeezed from her lungs as he held on tighter, tucking his head low so she couldn't hurt him, only watch with widened, fear filled eyes as the substance that wasn't liquid or gas float towards her face. The arms pushed her away at the last possible second.

A flood of images bombarded the young woman when the substance touched her.

_Alexander Allen, his blonde curly hair fluttering in the breeze._

_Their house._

_Hogwarts, Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall. "How on earth did you manage to transfigure Ryan into a pig? You're only in your first year!"_

_Severus Snape. Their wedding day. "I think, whatever happens, you are part of the equation now."_

_Voldemort. "You will bend to my will, or I will break you."_

The young woman shuddered and her body clenched at the images. Then came the feelings.

_Despair. Her father was dead._

_Fear, wholly and completely consuming her as she watched Voldemort descend upon her._

_Happiness, contentment, as she brushed the black hair of the man in front of her._

_Love, as she lay entwined in his arms at night. Severus, her lover._

_Betrayal, as his cold eyes appraised her in the house where they had been married._

_Rage. Rage at what had been done to her._

She felt an awesome power building in her chest, and as she opened her eyes to loose it on the whole room, her black hair fell in front of her eyes and drew her gaze, reminding her of how she had attained it. Her mother was here somewhere.

"Mum" she gasped like the air had been let out of her chest, and fell once again to her knees that had somehow healed themselves while she was locked in the tumult of her mind. She knew her mother was alive.

No, your mother is at home, looking after your son.

The woman on the floor grasped her head as if she could hold in the clamour in her mind. _Minds_.

Aeryn.

And Amanda.

There were still two people in her head.

"Look at me."

The voiced spoke softly, hissing in her ears, intruding into her tangled thoughts.

But it was Aeryn who raised her head, and looked into the terrible face of Lord Voldemort. She couldn't speak. She could hardly comprehend what was happening around her. The two minds were in conflict. Aeryn knew what was happening but had not come to terms with it. Amanda struggled to understand what was going on.

"Who are you?" The Dark Lord whispered sinisterly.

Aeryn shook her head, trying to gather her fractured mind into some semblance of order. Amanda's defiance broke through. "Go to hell", she whispered.

A listless feeling, almost a stupor, fell over her. _Who are you?_ A voice asked. _Answer me,_ it commanded. _Tell me your name._

Amanda shook off the stupor fogging her brain, dragging Aeryn with her. She glared up at the man who stood before her who was trying to force an answer from her. She would defy him with every fibre of her being. "Fuck you," she spat, fully realising they would probably be her last words.

And once again pain, pain unlike anything she had ever felt radiated through her body. She felt as if every bone was being ground to powder, every muscle fibre torn. As she writhed on the floor she expected to feel the blood dripping from every pore, to feel her skin being ripped from her body. And she screamed, screamed until her throat was raw.

"ANSWER ME!" Shouted the source of her pain.

And Aeryn Allen screamed her name in defeat. Because that was who she was. Amanda was still there, but this was Aeryn's body, Aeryn's life.

The pain stopped, blessedly. Aeryn lay on the floor, huddled in defeat, tears pushed from her eyes, but Amanda's pride holding them silent.

"Well. Aeryn. Aeryn Allen, the woman who has defied me from the beginning. You will finally be made an example of. No one will remember you without remembering the way you died, painfully, messily, with no dignity. I'm calling in your debt." Voldemort said flatly as he held his wand gracefully aloft, its tip pointed at the figure shaking at his feet, where he had tried to get her from the beginning. "Goodbye."

But as he drew breath to mutter that final, fatal curse, Severus interrupted. "My Lord," he interjected, hoping his voice wasn't shaking from built up tension. He ignored the pain in his side from Aeryn's kick. He tried to suppress the tumult in his mind from watching her screaming on the floor. He must word this carefully, or she would die. "My Lord, please. Give her to me."

Voldemort paused as he looked at his second in command. "You would dare ask such a thing? _Now_?"

"My Lord, forgive me. This woman will suffer personally at my hands for what she did. I swear to you, she will pay. Let me do it – let me take her life for you. But give her to me first, to...to-"

"Satiate your lust on?" Voldemort inquired spitefully. Severus bowed his head, as if he was ashamed.

"She has flaunted herself before me for years at Hogwarts, thinking she was too good for me. I would show her how wrong she is. And I promise you, she will experience torment as never before, and rue the day she crossed you."

Voldemort, his wand still held out towards the trembling woman, looked at the man before him thoughtfully.

Then slowly, slowly he lowered his wand. "You may have her, Severus. Because you have always been loyal to me. Because you did what Draco could not, and kill my one true enemy. But you must not kill her. When you're done, you will give her to McNair. Then to Goyle. Then to Nott. And she will go through my ranks until she is dead. Is that clear?" Severus nodded.

Aeryn looked in horror at the snake face, and when his slitted eyes turned to look at her, they were so cold. "Take her, then." He muttered, and turned away, already dismissing her.

Strong arms grasped her again. "No!" she screeched, and loud guffaws filled her ears as she struggled, her hair wrapping around her body and preventing movement. She lashed out wildly as fear consumed her, fighting for all she was worth, and her fists connected with various body parts of her opponents.

Just as she thought she would escape the many hands that struggled to hold her, the voice of Severus betrayed her. "Incarcerous!"

Strong ropes suddenly bound her upper body, and she fell full length to the floor. She managed to lift her head and glare wordlessly into his black, unemotional eyes, but words escaped her in her fury. She watched as he walked slowly to her, and bent to pull her into a standing position. She screeched again, both Muggle and Wizard explicit language spewing from her mouth, but it hardly made sense.

"Tsk, tsk," he admonished in his smooth baritone, and slapped her lightly across the mouth for the benefit of those watching. "We will have to cut out that tongue."

Aeryn stood before him, helpless, hopeless, but refused to give the watching room the pleasure of seeing her beg for her life. Instead she turned her head away, and let herself be led from the room. She might have her memories back, but Amanda was still inside her, and the martial artist was continuing to look for an escape. One opponent was better than twenty, even if it was the man she once loved. The man she hated now.

As they descended the stairs to Malfoy's dungeon, for, she realised, that was where they were headed, they found the door barred by McNair. He stood impassively in their way. "Something amiss?" Severus drawled.

McNair grunted, and his lips stretched into a leer as he perused Severus's captive. "Don't take too long. It's my turn next."

Severus pushed roughly passed the man, and pulled Aeryn into the dungeon, throwing her roughly to the floor. "Don't wait up," he said with a smirk, as he slammed the door behind him in McNair's face.

By the time Severus turned to face her, Aeryn had rolled over her back and was standing to face him, her arms still bound. He raised an eyebrow in surprise. Flicking a wand in her direction, he muttered, "_Relashio_. Evidently you have changed considerably over the last eighteen months. We have much to talk about, but - "

He was interrupted by Aeryn's shriek as she lunged at him. No martial arts this time – her fury was too great. Instead, her fingers shaped like talons, she tried to claw his eyes out.

Severus struggled with her, holding her hands away from his face. "Will – you – _desist_?" he ground out angrily. "Dammit, Aeryn!"

"You-you...you _son of a bitch_! You _bastard_! You betrayed me! And Hogwarts! And everyone! You _betrayed me to him_!" She yelled in his face, and continued to try to reach his face, to claw out his eyes, the eyes she had once loved so much. He grunted when her shoe connected with his shin.

Pushing her roughly away, he drew his wand and levelled it at her. "Stop it! You always were more emotional than rational, but we don't have time for that now!" he snapped.

She watched him warily."What - you think I'm going to let you rape me? Isn't that what you had planned?" she spat out.

"Hardly. I'm going to put my life on the line – once more – for you. I need to get you out of here!"

Aeryn looked at him disbelievingly, and in that moment of hesitation, Severus moved. All the tension and suspense, the fear and dread, and not knowing where she was for such a long time, pushed him forward. He pulled her roughly to him and kissed her deeply, threading his fingers through her long black hair, holding her tightly against his body. "Aeryn, my Aeryn. I've missed you. I worried about you. Kiss me back," he commanded, as she struggled against him.

Aeryn pushed against his chest as his kisses took the strength from her. To Aeryn, it was only days since she had seen him last. To Amanda, who was aware of the passage of time and recognised that months had passed since she saw him, and missed him terribly, even if he had betrayed her. She held her face away from his mouth, trying to breathe; to maintain a sense of self-control and not give into the fire that was consuming her. "You betrayed me," she gasped. "I remember! You and Bellatrix and Gwyneth, that night! I won't give you what you want – never again."

He held her imprisoned, kissing her neck as she strained away from him, breathing hard. Suddenly he stopped and pulled her focus to his eyes. "_I never betrayed you_," he said clearly and calmly. "You are mine. I would have given my life to save yours, but I had to try to maintain my position in the Dark Lord's forces and fulfil a vow that has less meaning to me now than it once did. You always knew there was more at stake than you and me. And you also know, deep down, that I would never let them take you from me." Her eyes narrowed as she tried to reconcile what her ears heard with what her mind remembered. "We don't have time for this," he said abruptly, pushing her away, as if it had been _her_ trying to seduce _him_. "I need to get you out of here. Now."

"So it's true!" A flat voice jeered from the door, which neither of them had heard open. "I heard The Dark Lord had finally found dear Aeryn after all this time, but I didn't believe I'd be so fortunate that it would be true." The cold, beautiful face of Gwyneth Gillies spat at them from the doorway. She moved inside and Severus noted the inert form of McNair sprawled in the hallway.

"And then I hear that Severus is so desperate to have her, he stopped the Dark Lord almost in mid-curse to beg him for her body." Gwyneth's eyes raked the younger woman's toned frame with disgust. "And then when I come to _finally_ give myself some satisfaction, maybe not quite like yours Severus, I hear you plotting to free your one true love. How interesting." She held her slim wand aloft and pointed at the both of them, still standing close together, and indicated that Severus should drop his wand.

"_I'm the last thing your father saw before I killed him, too."_

Gwyneth's words echoed in Aeryn's mind as the memory returned, and she barely heard the next words from the red haired woman's mouth. "The Dark Lord shall be pleased when I tell him that's the reason why I killed you both. Oh..." she gave a little shudder of pleasure, "and I so want to kill _you_ Aeryn. I'm really quite vexed with you, especially when I find you are with _him_" – she indicated Severus – "after I tried for so many months to have him."

Aeryn raised her eyes to the level of Gwyneth's. "You killed my father," she whispered softly, flatly, the rage that was beginning to build inside of her showing in her black eyes. Severus's body jerked at this information, but before he could react to the news, the room seemed to grow dimmer, smaller, and yet another figure emerged from the dark hallway, stepping delicately over McNair's body.

"You killed Alexander Allen?" asked the musical voice of Aeryn's mother Jahren. "And now you're here to kill Aeryn Allen?" There was not a trace of accusation in her voice, she merely sounded curious.

Gwyneth started at the soft voice, and although her expression did not change, her face paled somewhat. "Imagine meeting _you_ here Jahren. Come to help your daughter? I was so sure you were helping the Dark Lord all these years. Yes, I killed Allen, with some help from Dolohov. Does that mean anything to you Jahren?" she asked aggressively. "If you wish to retaliate because I killed your noble husband, I can still scream loud enough for someone to hear before you kill me. And then you'll die as well, unless of course you wish to help me, and prove your loyalty to the Dark Lord," she suggested in a forced casual tone.

"But how will anyone know, Gwyneth, if you can't scream?" Jahren stated softly, her expression unchanging. Gwyneth cocked her head slightly as if pondering the Sorceress's words, then her eyes widened as she realised she was mute. Gwyneth gasped and pointed her wand towards the ceiling, evidently about to perform a non-verbal spell, but found her wand turning to ash in her hands.

Suddenly Aeryn's hands were about Gwyneth's throat. Sided with the Dark Lord or not, Jahren evidently meant to kill Gwyneth for the murder of Alexander Allen, but not unless Aeryn beat her to it. Aeryn gritted her teeth, and squeezed.

Soft white hands touched her wrist, and the feeling left her fingers. Aeryn found she was kneeling on the floor, Gwyneth gasping for breath in front of her, and Jahren standing quietly beside her. _You are not a murderer_, came the voice of her mother in her head. _You are not like me._

And as Gwyneth lifted her pain filled eyes to the both of them, realisation widened her emerald green eyes a moment before life left them completely, and she toppled over to lay sprawled on the dungeon floor.

Severus looked to the both of them, wondering which of them had killed Gwyneth. Deciding it didn't matter, he grasped Aeryn by the arm and pulled her to her feet. "Now we really have to get out of here," he muttered.

"Forgive me, but I can't allow you to do that," Jahren said calmly. Both Aeryn and Severus snapped their eyes back to the beautiful, calm, black haired Sorceress who stood before them, who stood watching them with an amused expression on her flawless face. Severus, who had regained his wand while his wife had her hands around Gwyneth's throat, pointed it at Jahren. "I know your power," he said carefully, "but I won't allow your daughter to die tonight. If I have to kill you to meet that end, I will. I'm no amateur wizard."

Jahren smiled faintly. "Of that I have no doubt, but you cannot stop me, Severus dear. I hope you don't mind me calling you 'dear', you are, after all, my son in law." Aeryn's eyes were glued to her mother's face. Twenty years of unanswered questions made her tongue thick, and she didn't know where to start. "Why?" she mumbled. "Why did you join _him_?" she asked, her voice shaking. "And why did you help me now, only to refuse us freedom?"

Jahren came and stood before her daughter, almost a mirror image. She laid a hand lightly along Aeryn's jaw, and the pain in her musical voice was profoundly evident. "A mistake, my love. I couldn't ignore my baser nature. Voldemort's power called me to him, and the rewards he offered were great. Before I knew it, I was embroiled too deeply to get out. That's why I left you, after I made that final mistake of joining him, and my own people, to destroy his kind," she glanced at Severus.  
"But tonight I plan to rectify that. Especially after learning that _that_" – she indicated the corpse lying on the floor – "killed my husband. And I never had the chance to explain...so many things to him. I loved him Aeryn, no matter what else happened, I loved your father. And you." She cupped her daughter's face in her hands, her eyes drinking in Aeryn's features. "I knew you would be like me, darling. I could feel that about you when you were dozing beneath my heart. And I feared for you, that you would turn out like me. Weak, obsessed with power. And so angry. I tried to suppress my instincts, and your father tried to help, but we both failed. And I thought that if I left, you would have more of a chance to be good, really _good_, and do something with your life. And I can see that you are more like Alex than like me, and for that I am truly grateful."

She turned to look sternly at Severus. "Severus, I won't allow you to expose yourself and your position to save my daughter. I, however, have lived a long time, and have many regrets. I was never one for melodrama, but I can save her, and leave you in a position to bring Lord Voldemort down, one day, with the help of the Boy Who Lived. Voldemort will never suspect you. In so doing maybe I can, in some small way, redeem my soul."

"You're going to suicide?" Aeryn asked, with confusion on her face. Then her eyes flashed. "What, with no explanation? Just pop back into my life long enough to get yourself killed, and leave me to pick up the pieces? You owe me more than that!" she yelled into her mother's face. "You left me when I was just a kid, and now, not an hour ago, I find out you're still alive, but you're planning on changing that very suddenly?" Aeryn grabbed the older woman by the shoulders and shook her. "You left me!" she cried, her voice breaking. "_You left me!_"

Jahren's eyes were only filled with pity. "My darling, I never left you. Even though you couldn't see me, I always watched." She traced her fingers down Aeryn's tortured, wet face. Her eyes went still with concentration, and stared relentlessly into Aeryn's. The younger woman's breathing became rapid and shallow, and her eyelids fluttered. Something seemed to pass between the two women.

Severus decided it would be prudent to step in at the point. His arm came between the two women. "What are you doing?" he snapped at Jahren. "Stop it! You're hurting her!"

Jahren's eyes dropped, and Aeryn drew a deep, shuddering breath. "I understand," she said softly, her face filled with a sort of wonder. "I think."

Severus looked at both of them in confusion, but was saved the trouble of saying anything when Jahren interrupted. She looked at Severus, all business. "Enough. Aeryn, we must part ways now." She took a step back. A small sound, like a cat being tortured, escaped from Aeryn's throat, and her eyes took on a wild look. "No! " she gasped, reaching for Jahren. "No, I won't let you kill yourself for me!" She struggled against Severus's arms that had suddenly stopped her from following.

"You will." Jahren said coldly. "This is the only way I can forgive myself, and hopefully, your father will understand and forgive me too." She smiled sadly. "I'll give him your love. Oh, and Aeryn? Take care of my grandson."

Jahren looked at Severus and then at Aeryn. "Give me three minutes, then Aeryn can walk out the front door. Severus, I must hurt you, or they will not believe you are innocent of collaboration."

Severus hesitated, glanced at Aeryn, then nodded. "I am putting my wife's life into your hands. If you are lying, I will find you, and if you are not dead, then I will rectify that." He turned to Aeryn, whose expression was tortured. "Aeryn. Go to my house. Do not argue. I will meet you there, and we will have this out. Do not even _think_ of disobeying me."

Jahren's eyebrows raised in amusement, but she said nothing as Severus faced her squarely. A small smile played about her lips as she focused on him. Severus suddenly collapsed, a red swelling already on his forehead attesting to the silent injury he just sustained.

Jahren glanced at her daughter, and pressed an object into Aeryn's hand. "He really does love you, you know. And he never betrayed you."

With those words, she turned, and was gone before Aeryn had time to say goodbye.


End file.
